by Sara Wood
She looked down and snatched away her hands from his arms. There were marks where her fingers had been where her nails had dug into his flesh. ‘Sorry about that. I got carried away—’
‘You always do,’ he said, his expression brooding.
Her victory was beginning to sink in. ‘I feel very passionately about my daughter. I know you do too.’ She slumped, feeling quite drained suddenly.
‘It’s been an exhausting day for you,’ he observed softly.
‘I’ve loved it,’ she protested.
‘Hmm. Love-hate, I think.’
That was true. But she wouldn’t have missed it for the world. She fell silent, summoning up the will to stand and begin the long walk back. Groggily she got to her feet and she gripped the banister as if her life depended on it. Step by step she fumbled her way down the stairs.
There only remained the huge hall to tackle. She eyed it doubtfully but set off, her eyes fixed grimly on the massive wooden door. Behind her she could hear Leon talking to Natasa. And then he’d stridden past and was opening the door for her, an unreadable look on his face.
‘See you tomorrow,’ she said weakly, before he could suggest an appointment sometime in the future. And she stumbled helter-skelter down the steps outside.
‘Wait. I’m going to walk you back.’ A torch was flashing along the path ahead, picking out the way for her.
‘I can manage,’ she snapped, and spoiled her proud independence by tripping over her own feet.
Leon’s arms caught her waist and she felt his warm body against her spine and buttocks before she could wrench herself free. He was aroused again. He’d do himself a favour if he hurried back to Natasa, she thought crossly.
‘Stubborn woman! You’re too tired to see straight,’ he rebuked.
‘Yes. And not in the mood for company,’ she snapped.
Half tearful in her impatience with her irritating tendency to be feeble whenever she needed her strength most, she stumbled again. And this time his arm crooked around her waist and wouldn’t be shifted.
‘Stop fighting me,’ Leon said in an unfairly low and husky tone. ‘I can’t let you go back on your own in this condition—’
‘More than your reputation’s worth,’ she muttered sourly.
‘It would look bad,’ he agreed drily, ‘if you were found in a state of collapse on my land.’
‘I’d rather crawl back on my hands and knees than put you through such shame!’ she flung, hot from the pressure of his hip against hers.
‘You’re unbelievably obstinate,’ he said with a sigh. ‘One of Lexi’s endearing traits. If she wants to finish a task she’s set herself, she’ll do it come hell or high water.’
Emma raised a weak and fond smile. ‘Good on her!’
She considered the trembling muscles in her legs and then the path stretching ahead. It looked daunting.
‘Long way, isn’t it?’ Leon murmured, interpreting her frown correctly.
Her mind might be obstinate but her legs were begging for assistance. She heaved a resigned sigh. ‘OK, Leon. You’re right. I am shattered and in the absence of a minibus or a Zimmer frame, I suppose you’ll have to do.’
‘Was it…very difficult for you today?’ he asked as they continued.
She sighed. ‘Very. You were right. It hurt.’
‘But you want to repeat the torture.’
She smiled ruefully, remembering it all. ‘Of course. It was wonderful, too. She is adorable. I love her dearly.’
‘You found it exhausting being with her.’
And how! Her limbs felt as heavy as lead and she couldn’t prevent her body from drooping. ‘I’ll be fine once I’m fully fit,’ she said in a tired voice.
‘Toddlers are very demanding—’
‘Are you suggesting I’m not up to being with her?’ she said flaring.
He squeezed her waist. ‘Relax. I’m not trying to score points. I’m saying that I understand. I suggest you have a rest tomorrow. Swim, laze around—’
‘You’re stalling me. I want to see Lexi,’ she cried helplessly.
‘I know,’ he said soothingly. ‘But I need time to think.’
‘Can’t you do that while I’m around?’ she pleaded.
‘No. I can’t,’ he muttered.
‘I won’t get in the way. I’ll play with—’
‘Emma,’ he interrupted tightly, ‘I can’t think, I can’t concentrate with you there. Accept that and do yourself a favour too, take a break. It was a struggle today, wasn’t it? You pushed yourself to keep going but I saw how much of an effort it was towards the end. Do you want to burn yourself out before you’ve got very far? Does that make sense?’
He was right and she hated him for that. It upset her that she wasn’t really well enough to see Lexi every day. A deafening silence fell between them. They trudged on, bruising mint and basil and thyme underfoot. She tried to find her breath but it had run away and her mouth was doing its stupid wobble again.
Leon stopped and gently held her. She stared bleakly at his shirt front. It was a strange blue-white in the darkness and she gazed in mesmerised fascination at the powerful rise and fall of his chest.
‘I know you, Emma,’ he said softly. ‘You are normally full of boundless energy and enthusiasm, just like Lexi. But you’re not yourself at the moment and it’s obvious that you need to conserve your strength. Rest tomorrow. Sleep all day if you want, what does it matter?’
A sudden breeze played with her hair, whisking it about her face and he gently lifted golden strands away, his warm fingertips brushing her cool skin. She looked up and fell prey to his compelling eyes.
Petrified that she’d make the same mistake twice and inch forwards for a kiss, she tore her glance away and gazed stoically into the velvet night beyond his broad shoulder.
‘You…you won’t hold it against me?’ she said jerkily. ‘You won’t point out to the courts that I couldn’t be bothered to see Lexi, but preferred to laze around—?’
The tightening of his grip stopped her. ‘No, Emma.’ He seemed to struggle with his thoughts. ‘If you must know…I don’t want you bursting into tears or breaking up in front of Lexi. That won’t do her any good at all. If you carry on driving yourself too hard, you might well lose control. I know your composure is being sorely tested because I have some idea of how you’re feeling, being shut out of her life—’
‘Yes, I know you do,’ she said, remembering his problems with Soula.
His lashes lowered to hide his dark, impassioned eyes and she felt suddenly dizzy with weariness.
‘You’re swaying,’ he said thickly. ‘I should have got the car out. Let’s get you back.’
They walked hip to hip like lovers, Leon’s head bent over hers solicitously, though she knew it was because he was merely worried that she might keel over and have to be carried.
Her arm had found its way around his waist and she allowed it to stay there. For added support, she told herself, but knew that was a lie. She just wanted to sink into his arms and sleep, to wake with him beside her and to gaze at the beautiful angles of his face.
But he was her implacable enemy and would fight tooth and nail to keep her daughter, whatever concessions he granted her now.
The villa was ahead. After today’s family fun, it would be silent and lonely in there. Depressed, Emma pushed Leon away.
‘Thank you,’ she said unhappily. ‘Goodnight.’
He continued to walk beside her as she stumbled drunkenly along. ‘I must see you to your door—’
‘Checking up on me?’ she blurted out, too miserable to think what she was saying. She wanted Leon: his sympathy, his body, his respect. And he was off limits. So she’d turn herself against him. ‘Do you want to make sure I haven’t got an orgy organised?’
‘If you have, I hardly think,’ he said, sounding gently amused, ‘that you’d be up to it.’
‘No. I’m sorry I said that,’ she muttered, immediately ashamed of herself. She really wasn’t c
ut out to be a bitch. ‘You’ve been kind…gone out of your way to see me home—’
‘Here, let me. I don’t think you can cope with locks either,’ he said, and she realised she’d been trying to put the key in upside down. ‘I hadn’t realised you were that shattered.’
She leaned against the door jamb, her whole body shaking. ‘Lexi doesn’t give her heart easily, does she?’ she said with a doleful face.
‘She takes her time. Weighs people up. Gives them that basilisk stare and waits to see if they run screaming,’ he agreed.
‘It pained me more than you could ever know,’ she said dispiritedly. ‘You said you’d put me through hell. Well…’ she choked, tears blinding her ‘…you’ve succeeded.’
‘Emma…’
He’d followed her in. But she’d had enough. She stood in the middle of the room shaking with tension.
‘Go!’ she said jerkily. ‘Just go!’
‘I…can’t,’ he said huskily.
‘Why?’ Emma wailed, wanting him, hating him, muddled, beyond coherent thought.
‘I don’t know. Or…perhaps I know too well. I—I feel some responsibility for you—’
‘Too late!’ She hurled the words hysterically, lurching towards the bedroom. ‘I needed you years ago,’ she said stormily. ‘I needed you to believe me when I was accused of fraud. I needed you to tell me we were finished and you were getting engaged…’
It was too much to bear. She choked on her tears and gave up, slamming the bedroom door behind her and jamming a chair against the handle.
Somehow she dragged off her clothes, had a perfunctory wash and crawled into bed. It was only when she turned out the light that she heard the front door close. Leon had left. She burst into tears again.
Leon found it hard to concentrate. He’d slept badly, Emma’s forlorn face had firmly stuck on the back of his eyelids, burning into his brain with the force of an indestructible laser image. Even now, at ten in the morning, she was in his eyes, his mind, and his body…
And he didn’t even have Lexi to occupy him. Natasa had taken her to town to do ‘women’s things’, ’Tasa had said, and the two of them had run to ’Tasa’s car giggling with glee.
Emma’s doll had gone too. Leon wasn’t sure if he was glad or worried that it accompanied Lexi everywhere, into the bathroom that morning, for breakfast on the terrace, and then—duly coated in ‘sun cream’ and complete with rucksack just like Lexi—into the car.
His mind darted about like a butterfly. Thinking of golden hair sweeping briefly, seductively over a softly curved cheek. Of a face tight with desperate longing, arms fidgeting because they couldn’t do what they’d been made to do: cuddle a child. And the body…the body! He groaned.
After losing his second e-mail of the day and failing to make sense of a perfectly simple company balance sheet, he leapt irritably from his desk and grabbed some gear for the beach.
He needed an emotional break too. He’d swim till he dropped. And think of nothing, not even tip-tilted lips that needed kissing.
Twenty minutes later he knew it had been a good decision. Lulled by the droning of bees as he strolled through the garden, he let his tense body relax.
A griffon vulture soared overhead. Delicate mauve thistles carpeted the olive grove beyond. A faint breeze stirred the fronds of the date-palms, sending them clacking and as he approached the beach, swallowtail butterflies decorated the garrigue—the low herb undergrowth—like darting jewels.
He stood at the top of the sandy bay to admire its voluptuous sweep. And his pulses quickened to see another voluptuous shape. Emma.
He groaned, knowing he had to go back. And found his legs carrying him inexorably forward. She needed to be alone. To rest and recuperate. So did he—and he wouldn’t get any rest with her around. His muscles always knotted up.
Right, that was agreed. They shouldn’t be together. The fire was too easily lit in his blood…
But she was there. Alone. And something tugged him inexorably on, ignoring sense and caution.
‘I’m surprised to find you down here,’ he discovered himself saying quietly.
She sat up on the lounger, visibly flustered. He wasn’t too composed either. Unlike yesterday, when she’d worn a one-piece, she was in a small and wonderfully revealing bikini which made the most of her slim body and spectacular curves. Her hands had come to protect her chest, an odd reaction, which had made his gaze linger there longer than wise.
His nails dug into his palms, which helped. He tried to look nonchalant and thought it would help if he sat down on the sunbed beside her.
‘Sorry to intrude,’ he said with unreal cheerfulness. ‘I just fancied a swim in the sea.’
She smiled hesitantly, clearly weighing up his mood and to his surprise he found himself beaming in pleasure. Her smile broadened in response to his inane grin and he realised she was nervous. She was wondering if his verdict was for or against her.
Behind her sunglasses, her eyes were unreadable. He hoped the same applied to his because he was already lusting unmercifully.
‘So did I.’ Encouraged by his friendly nod, she went on. ‘I—I had a long, long sleep and feel a lot better. And I’d…liked it here so much yesterday that…I wanted to spend the day here,’ she said haltingly.
‘Me too. Do you mind if I stay?’
He frowned. Why had he said that? She might object, in which case—
‘How could I? It is your beach, after all.’ She eyed him uncertainly. ‘But I’ll go if you’re going to growl at me. I need a restful day for a change.’
‘I won’t growl,’ he promised, managing to hold back a sigh of relief. ‘I’m looking for an uncomplicated few hours, schlepping out. Deal?’
She grinned back at him and seemed delighted. ‘Deal.’
Her head tipped back to enjoy the sun, the action raising the contours of her breasts. Leon tried not to notice his racing pulses, and studiously averted his gaze and fixed it sternly on the dazzling sea.
‘I’m glad you feel better,’ he ventured to say. And wondered why he felt that way and how banal his conversation was going to get.
‘I really needed a break. I’ve been under a great strain for a long time,’ she said quietly.
‘I can imagine.’
Again, a pang of pity—and his low, caring voice must have conveyed that pity to her. But she’d brought her troubles on herself. He had to remember that.
And yet he knew he couldn’t help feeling great sympathy for her. Lexi was her baby. And a stranger. He frowned, washed by pain on her behalf.
She sighed, the pleasure of that outrush of breath attracting his attention. Her eyes were closed in contentment, the sun gleaming on her pale gold skin. He felt his throat go dry.
‘Where’s Lexi?’ she murmured.
He gave a joking groan. ‘Buying up every pink dress in Zakynthos with Natasa.’
He checked himself. She’d winced and he realised he’d put his foot in it. It must hurt her to have some other woman doing things with her daughter.
‘She…she’s fond of Lexi,’ Emma observed, turning her head to study him closely. ‘Does…does Lexi ever call her Mama?’
It was his turn to wince. More and more he was beginning to realise that he couldn’t exclude Emma from Lexi’s life. But the implications of changing tack were alarming.
‘Only once.’
‘Once is enough, Leon!’
He looked deep into her startlingly blue eyes. ‘I know. It upset Natasa. She made sure that Lexi knew that she wasn’t in the running for that position.’ From the anxious look on Emma’s face, the relationship needed clarifying. And perhaps a little more than that. ‘My sister-in-law,’ he explained, ‘adores children.’
‘Sister-in-law!’ It seemed the light had dawned. ‘She’s Marina’s sister?’
He nodded and could see her brain turning over the information. ‘Her husband died six months ago from cancer. For some reason she’s convinced she’ll never marry again and ha
ve babies of her own. Which is ridiculous, of course, but it gives her great happiness to spend time with Lexi. And I want ’Tasa to be happy. She nursed her husband devotedly and I admire her, and wish her well.’
‘A diamond among women. Poor Natasa! It must have been terrible for her to lose her husband at such a young age. All her dreams, her plans for the future…’ Her voice petered out.
Natasa’s story seemed to have touched a chord with Emma. He saw that she was struggling with a profound sympathy, a kind of horror that went far beyond any normal reaction.
‘Emma?’ He touched her arm and she jumped.
‘I—I was thinking. Was it quick?’ she asked, her face pale.
‘Her husband’s death? Yes, mercifully so.’ It seemed that she waited to hear more. ‘They both came to stay with me. It helped her to cope. It meant she could forget normal household activities and concentrate on being with her husband. We knew it was terminal.’
‘Difficult for you all,’ she observed, her expression full of concern.
There was something about her that invited his confidences. He’d never spoken about Natasa to anyone outside the immediate family. And even to them he’d never revealed his own feelings. But suddenly he felt a need to open up.
‘I think the worst part for me was when I heard her crying all alone at night,’ he said quietly. ‘I could do so much to help her, but there were some things she had to face on her own. That was hard for me to accept. I wanted to take away her anguish completely.’
‘You can’t,’ Emma said. ‘People have to go through that grieving process. She was mourning for her husband and herself. It’s a mistake to think you can leap-frog misery. It has to be faced, and then it’s been dealt with—and you’re the stronger for it. You did all the right things, Leon.’
‘Did I?’ He wasn’t sure.
‘You gave her support when she needed it. She cares very deeply for you—’
‘And I for her.’ Without her, he didn’t know what he would have done. She had been—and would be—his lifeline.
Emma’s white teeth snagged at her lower lip. ‘So…you’re helping her to adjust. You’re making her feel useful and she’s fussing over you and Lexi like…like…a mother hen,’ she finished jerkily.
