by Sara Wood
He wasn’t sure why she was on edge. Perhaps because she believed Natasa was taking over her role. Anxious to put Emma straight, he took her hand in his to capture her attention.
‘Natasa will never be Lexi’s surrogate mother,’ he said gently. Her enormous eyes remained fixed on his hopefully and he knew he’d hit on the answer to her fears. ‘And the reason she’s here is that when her husband died she asked if she could help run the house. She needed to be with family for a while and needed an excuse to stay without feeling she was a parasite. My housekeeper was ready to retire, so it seemed a good arrangement.’
Emma frowned at their interlocked fingers. ‘Wasn’t there gossip, with you both living in the same house?’
‘Not with Marina there too, and Soula. Natasa is devoted to her sister and everyone knows we are just an extended family. It’s not an uncommon arrangement.’
‘Poor Natasa,’ she said again. ‘I hope she finds happiness one day.’
Happiness. There were several levels of it. He was content enough. But once he had known a happiness that had filled every cell in his body with the joy of living. Would that rapture ever be part of him again?
‘I think I’ll go for a swim,’ she muttered.
He watched her walking thoughtfully to the water’s edge.
In the old days she would have turned a cartwheel or two in sheer exuberance, but she was different now. Sometimes the old impetuosity surfaced, but mostly she was sad and subdued. He wanted to change that, to see her laugh more frequently.
After a decent interval, he hauled off his T-shirt and ran into the sea, plunging his hot and tense body into the cool turquoise water. It was a while before he paused in his ferocious crawl and began to swim for pleasure. Eventually he turned on his back and floated, staring up at the bright blue sky. When he struck out for shore, he saw her towelling herself dry on the beach.
Decision time. He sat on the edge of the water, thinking of the emotional mess that Soula was in and how his calm, gentle influence had been worse than useless and soon he’d have to accept that and leave Marina and Soula to their own devices.
It hurt to admit it, but Emma was right. Lexi would probably be more balanced if she knew her biological mother. He watched the sea lapping over his feet. There were some things you couldn’t stop. Tides and love being two of those.
But the danger for Lexi if he agreed—for his peace of mind! Perhaps, he thought, as the water swirled in a rush around his entire body, he could cope with the prospect of Emma’s access visits. All he had to do was to make sure that she was never alone with Lex—not now, or any time in the future.
Aware that he was making a momentous about-turn, he jumped up and walked quickly to where Emma was sitting, her honey-gold body bolt upright in the lounger.
‘You’ve decided! You’ll let me stay and befriend Lexi!’ she cried eagerly, when he was still a yard or so away.
His eyes widened in stark surprise. ‘How the devil did you know?’
‘I read you,’ she cried happily.
‘Read me?’
‘The way you sat there, thinking—and your body language… Besides, I felt sure you’d do the right thing.’
He grunted and sat on the edge of his lounger facing her. ‘Don’t make me regret it, Emma,’ he warned. ‘If you harm that child—’
‘I wouldn’t!’ she cried with elation, swinging her legs around to mirror his pose. ‘Lexi’s welfare comes first, I promise you that,’ she said softly. ‘Thank you for giving me this chance.’
‘It’s for Lexi, not you.’
Or was it? He didn’t know any more, only that he felt as if a burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He’d see her often. Feed his eyes on her. Get to know her. Spirals of pleasure rippled through him, shortening his breath. Madness.
‘That’s why I felt sure you must agree,’ she said happily.
‘You hit a raw nerve.’
‘Did I? Good!’ she exulted.
‘I don’t want Lexi confused,’ he continued, trying to quieten his own leaping nerves. But he couldn’t get enough of her ecstatic face and her joy was lifting his soul. She seemed to glow with life. And he wanted to kiss her till she couldn’t draw breath. ‘We do this gradually. Be guided by me.’
‘Yes, Leon,’ she agreed with a laugh. ‘Oh, I’m so happy!’
She jumped up, her face rapturous. And, impulsive as ever, she bent forward and kissed both his cheeks. Fatally, he had imprisoned her face between his hands before he knew what he was doing. And their mouths met, first clumsily, then fiercely as Emma’s euphoria carried her beyond the realms of caution.
Then she pushed at his shoulders. Reluctantly he let a gap form between their lips and his hot eyes met her troubled blue ones.
‘I can’t believe I just did that!’ she exclaimed, her hand in front of her soft mouth.
Ditto. He managed a casual grin. ‘You always did need to let off steam.’
Scarlet with embarrassment, she nodded, seizing on his excuse with alacrity. ‘That’s it! And I will!’ she cried, leaping up.
And to his delight, she ran along the firm sand by the lapping waves, turning a series of perfect cartwheels.
CHAPTER EIGHT
‘I THOUGHT we’d feed the animals,’ Leon said casually the next morning, when he and Lexi arrived at her villa, as they’d arranged.
‘Animals?’ Emma asked, smiling broadly to see Lexi jumping up and down excitedly.
‘Chittens,’ Lexi explained loftily, holding out a soggy and distorted lump of bread. It had clearly been squeezed fiercely in her little hand for some while and Emma’s eyes softened with amused affection.
‘Chickens and turkeys, goats, sheep and geese,’ Leon said indulgently. ‘Come on. I’ll show you. Lexi saved that from breakfast, didn’t you, sweetheart?’ He repeated that in Greek and she nodded so vigorously that her scrunchie fell out of her silky hair.
‘Here. I can do it,’ Emma offered eagerly.
But Lexi pulled away, glaring at Emma from under her lowered brows with an expression so like Leon’s that it caught at her throat. And she tried not to mind the rejection. It was early days yet. But, despite her reasoning, it still hurt.
‘Hold the scrunchie for me, will you Emma?’ Leon asked casually. He put down his own bag of stale bread, scooped up Lexi’s curls into his hand and gave them an admirably fashionable twist.
She was grateful to him for involving her. The smile she bestowed on him was pure gold and Leon responded with a conspiratorial wink as he fixed the hair problem with a deftness born of long practice.
‘The animals belong to the caretaker,’ Leon explained, when they were eventually on their way—a tickle, a cuddle and a ride on his shoulders later. ‘He rang to say that the turkeys had chicks so I thought Lex might like to see them.’
The smallholding lay beyond a field of low currant vines which marched across the red, rich soil in military ranks. With Lexi’s legs wrapped suffocatingly around his neck, his head reluctantly doubling as a drum for her small hands, Leon led the way beneath a bower of wild honeysuckle to a lemon grove, seemingly alive with cheeping grey chicks.
‘There they are,’ he cried, lowering Lexi to the ground.
‘Chittens!’ Lexi cried with joy, and hurtled after them.
‘She’s got my finesse,’ Emma said ruefully, seeing the turkey chicks scatter in alarm as the blonde bombshell approached. ‘Delicate as a stampeding bull.’
‘Enthusiasm, and it’s wonderful,’ Leon corrected with a grin. He scraped a hand through his mussed hair.
‘So long as you’re not a chitten.’ She giggled.
Leon laughed and ran to catch Lexi’s hand and to show her how to win the confidence of the chicks. With great patience he taught her to throw her bread as far as possible at first and then increasingly closer and closer.
However, Lexi’s aim wasn’t too good and Emma and Leon kept chuckling as one or two of the tiny chicks narrowly missed concussion from the heavy lumps.<
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‘Hello, chittens!’ Lexi whispered, awed, as they cheeped with enthusiastic recklessness around her feet.
‘Chicks.’
‘Chits.’
‘Stand very still, sweetheart,’ he said lovingly, and Lexi turned into a rigid statue, only her fingers daring to move. Which made her aim even worse.
Leon gave Emma some bread and, with it, a sideways grin. He’s wonderful, she thought, admiring his patience with her over-eager daughter. And she tried hard to understand his slow and careful Greek when they went to dispense grain for the chickens and to feed the other animals in the enclosure.
Then, by a clump of cornflowers, something caught her eye and she bent down to see what it was.
‘Look!’ she cried, her voice hushed in pleasure. ‘I’ve found an egg.’ It was freshly laid. She crouched down and smiled at Lexi. ‘Hold out your hand,’ she said in English, showing her what she meant.
A small and sticky palm was hesitantly extended and Emma gently slid the egg into it. The look on her daughter’s face made her heart turn over.
‘It’s warm!’ Lexi squeaked.
‘Gently,’ Leon warned, his voice low and soft. ‘It will break easily.’
‘Oh, oh, oh!’ Lexi whispered, magnificently reining in her obvious desire to leap about in glee.
‘For your breakfast,’ Emma suggested, wishing she could be there.
Her daughter beamed at her, the blue eyes searingly bright. ‘Yes. Thank-you-very-much.’
‘My pleasure,’ Emma whispered happily and her moist eyes met Leon’s.
A searing flash of longing went through her and she turned away hastily. For a split second she had yearned for the impossible. That she and Leon and Lexi would be feeding chittens and finding eggs and loving one another for the rest of their lives.
But he despised her and believed she had not only defrauded innocent people, but had been the indirect cause of his brother’s death. And, though he might not be averse to kissing her, he certainly wouldn’t welcome her freely into his highly protected home.
The dream had been too welcome, the reality harsh. Unless she altered her plans radically, she would be taking her daughter away from all this. Her eyes widened. How could she do that to her child? This paradise…
She swallowed. It was her own fault. Leon had warned her that she’d realise Lexi’s future lay here—and that the knowledge would be painful to accept. And she’d recklessly brushed aside his caution, seeing it as a threat. But perhaps he’d been right. Doubts gnawed at her, spoiling the happy moment and her stomach felt suddenly hollow.
‘We’re going back to Emma’s villa now. The animals are all breaded-out.’ Leon’s voice was warm and gentle, close to her ear.
She shivered and tried to perk up. ‘For a swim?’ she suggested unsteadily.
Lexi let out a whoop and charged off. Leon threw Emma a grin and ran after her. She heard her daughter wailing—presumably she’d fallen over—and Leon’s soothing murmur, a childish giggle, and his deep laugh. How easily a child’s distress could be smoothed over.
I want him, she thought. And not just physically. Someone to soothe her hurt, to be there when she needed him. A shoulder to lean on and a friend to share her day, her moments of joy.
Emma stifled those thoughts at birth. Life wasn’t that forgiving and Leon certainly wouldn’t be.
Later that afternoon, after exhausting games in the pool, Lexi fell fast asleep. Tenderly Leon placed her daughter’s limp form on a lounger beneath a walnut tree and joined Emma by the poolside where she sat dangling her legs in the warm water.
‘She liked the egg,’ he said, easing himself down to the tiled edge.
She smiled. ‘Almost as good as the crown jewels.’
‘Better. She’s fascinated by nature. I’m up all hours of the night trying to keep a few steps ahead of her. I’m OK identifying beetles, but not too hot on finches,’ he said ruefully.
‘What about bees that look like Zeppelins?’ she squealed, as she ducked away from the attentions of a huge insect with iridescent wings. ‘Crikey. It’s got a buzz that sounds like a chain-saw!’
‘Keep still. It won’t harm you,’ Leon advised, laughing.
The giant bee proved him a liar by doing a circuit of her head, clearly preparing to dive-bomb her and then line up for an emergency landing.
‘Help!’ She grabbed frantically at Leon.
‘I…ooooohaargh! What—?’
He overbalanced and they both toppled into the water, coming up spluttering and laughing. The mock menace on his face made her squeal and she struck out for the steps at the far end of the pool.
Of course he caught her. Emma shrieked when he grabbed her and then became aware of someone else shouting. Still clasped in his firm grip, she jerked her head around to discover a tight-lipped Marina standing on the edge of the pool, clad in a black leather basque and a pelmet skirt, and with her hands on her hips in an attitude of frosty disapproval.
Surprisingly, Leon kept his hands on her waist. ‘Hello, Marina. This is Emma—’ he began courteously.
‘Instead of fooling around with the criminal classes,’ Marina snapped nastily, ‘how about paying attention to your niece?’
From the increased pressure on her waist, and the clenching of Leon’s teeth, Emma expected him to put Marina in her place with a few well-chosen epithets. Instead, he merely said, ‘Lexi’s asleep.’
There was a splash. Emma jerked her head around and realised that a child of five or six years of age in a pink party dress and with ribbons everywhere conceivable—Soula, without question—was calmly and maliciously throwing objects into the pool. A chair. Her sunglasses. Emma gasped. A towel—
Leon launched himself across the pool in a whoosh of water and hauled himself out.
‘Soula, for heaven’s sake!’ he rebuked.
The little girl screamed and ran away from him, pushing whatever she could find into the pool as she went. Two mugs, a plate, an orange and Lexi’s jelly shoes.
‘Now look what you’ve done!’ screeched Marina.
‘Soula,’ Leon said quietly, restraining his temper with difficulty as a small teak table hit the water, ‘please don’t do that—’
‘Don’t come near me!’ Soula shouted, stamping her feet. ‘Mummee! Mummee!’
Emma was horrified by the extraordinary vehemence of Soula’s appeal to her mother. The little girl flung herself at her mother’s knees and was immediately soothed.
Marina and Leon stared at one another: she spitting fire and hatred, he—oh, thought Emma, her heart going out to him—he was hurt and frustrated with a tortured expression on his face. Sadly she clambered out of the pool, wondering what to do and afraid that Lexi would wake even though Leon had said she slept the sleep of the dead. She headed for her daughter just as Leon hissed, ‘Take Lexi in!’
Hastily Emma scooped up the floppy little body, holding it close to her. My child, she thought shakily. In my arms at last but for the most awful reason.
Unsteady on her feet and nervous of her bundle, she climbed the steps with great care up to the villa, then sat in the nearest chair with her, cradling her close.
My baby, my baby, her heart was saying as she gazed down on the sleep-soft face. Oh, my darling baby! She kissed Lexi’s head, feeling guilty. It was as if she was violating her daughter’s rights. She gulped and restrained her urge to squeeze Lexi tight and kiss every inch of the sweet face.
When she looked up to the scene outside, she saw that Leon was standing over Soula, his hands on his hips.
‘Soula, you can’t go around doing that!’ he said in a rasping voice.
‘She’s upset because you forgot Lexi was going to Maria’s party,’ Marina yelled. ‘We had to waste time coming here and she’ll have missed the clown—’
‘I said Lex wouldn’t be going,’ he replied. ‘She didn’t seem bothered. Her mother is here—’
Emma looked down sharply. Lexi had given a small sigh. Stealthily, trying not to di
sturb the sleeping child, she rose from the chair, intending to move back out of earshot. She held her breath and froze. Lexi’s eyes opened—and then closed again.
‘But you promised,’ shouted Marina as Emma cautiously moved further into the open-plan room. ‘You can’t break that promise.’
Faintly she heard Leon’s groan and she paused, straining her ears to listen to his reply. ‘That was a week ago, before Emma came—’
‘You said you were going to fling the little cow out on her ear!’
Lexi’s eyes snapped open. She registered Emma’s face, and burst into tears.
‘Hush, sweetheart,’ Emma murmured, but there was no response from the stiff little body. ‘It’s OK. It’s me.’
She longed desperately to say, It’s Mummy. Despite all her attempts she couldn’t comfort Lexi. Almost in tears herself, she tried everything she could to soothe the struggling, wriggling and weeping child, but to no avail. And that upset her desperately.
And then Leon was there, taking Lexi from her and holding her sobbing daughter tight, wrapping his big arms around her.
‘She didn’t hear anything, honestly,’ Emma wailed in agitation. ‘She just opened her eyes and cried—’
‘It’s OK, Emma. She was startled.’
Gradually Lexi’s sobs lessened as his reassuring voice murmured softly in her small ear.
Startled. By the sight of her own mother. She let out a moan.
Leon was kissing the small, damp face, making a game of capturing the tears with his mouth and smacking his lips noisily. When he pretended to eat her nose and ears and declared them tasty too, she dissolved into giggles, her tears forgotten.
So easy, thought Emma sadly. If only she could comfort her own child. But she wasn’t loved. She was a stranger.
Oh, God! she thought, wrapping her arms tightly around her pain-slashed body. I’ve lost my child. Will I ever get her back?
‘The party—’ Marina had appeared at the back door.
