Altered: A Beyond the Brothel Walls Novel

by Ryans, Rae Z.

  Simple—I possessed six of the seven keys Boric Garland and the Arch demons sought. But why my family? God bestowed special powers upon us that the other families didn’t possess. A gift for Lucifer’s sacrifice.

  Chapter

  Eleven

  Dorian

  Cain strode across the living room, chuckling, and kissed the wrinkles forming on my forehead, but I was being serious. What made Lucifer’s children any different from Asmodeus’ line? They all held magical, dark powers, but why did Asmodeus—Boric Garland—risk crossing the border for them?

  I had watched from Earth as the Archangels rose and warred against Father. Hell, I knew Lucifer...like a brother. The Watchers—Grigori—had lived on Earth.

  Cain’s warm hands held my cheeks, and I tilted my chin. He didn’t look like him at all. I knew the answer to my own question, but all I learned had come second hand. Color me curious, I wanted the truth from the horse’s mouth. My brow raised a fraction.

  His scars held no importance beyond the bastards that had dared mark the man I loved. My heart beat faster. No stranger to abuse or pain myself, but I‘d had my revenge. His warm fingers brushed my neck as he grasped my collar. My lips parted but the words would not release the secret battering inside my heart. The man standing before me—scars and all—was the only one that mattered to me: I loved him.

  “I’m a distant relative of Lucifer. A spat in the ocean really, but we do share blood.”

  Cain’s lips brushed against mine, and I gasped at the electricity of his touch. Again, he pressed those death-defying lips to mine, and my hands clutched his waist. Screw questions. My mind reeled, and I deepened the kiss, sliding my tongue into his warm mouth.

  His bloodline didn’t matter, did it? Lies…More deceit. More distraction. Would it ever end? History repeated itself before me. A thought flittered into my head, and a memory I’d long ago buried exploded. The deceiver…I pushed back gasping and clenching my eyes shut.

  “No,” I warned, and held my hand out. My body hunched over and my chest tightened. “A minute…give me…” My knees buckled and slammed against the carpet. I fought the old vision:

  Stone buildings sat in the foreground, surrounded by endless desert. Men in red and gold uniforms stripped me bare and bound my bones to a wooden beam. Inside, I battled the reason for my lover’s revulsion and treason. People gathered; they gawked and threw items at me. An officer held a whip made of spiked metal. The weapon crackled through the air, and their barbs sliced through my flesh.

  I screamed. Tears hazed my vision, and despite my lack of flesh, metallic blood misted the air. I tasted the bitter fog and still asked him why. My lover refused to face me, refused to answer my pleas, but I had known him.

  “Malum,” the crowd chanted.

  The officer thrashed his metal whip again, and while cackling, he whispered in my ear, “Mors certa, hora incerta.” Death is certain, its hour uncertain.

  “Mors vincit omnia,” I shouted back. Death conquers all. The words, Father had taught me, and the key fastened around my neck weighted heavily on my soul. My putrid horse neighed in the distance, hearing and feeling my agony. More lashes prevailed until I knew nothing but pain.

  Later, I awoke in the middle of the town. They’d tied my bones to a crucifix. Screaming pleas went unanswered. People ignored me and traveled about on their daily doings.

  So I had baked under the blazing sun for days.

  One night, fires crackled and spread along the houses and businesses. Conquest stood before me, her hands clutching her hips, her face scowling. Their cries and screams echoed. Markos and Fauna strolled forward from the thick, billowing gray smoke.

  “They will burn in life and death for their sins,” Fauna said, extending her hand and pulsing purple magic until it engulfed the town.

  Beneath me, the ground rumbled. Markos kicked the crucifix. “They’re undeserving of your love, Brother.”

  But the damage scored my heart forever, and I vowed never to show humanity my weaknesses. “I can’t do this anymore, Markos.” Grimacing, my façade washed over me. “Never will I again.”

  “Surely, Brother, you will love.”

  I leaned against my brother. “No, love will kill us all.” I glanced over his shoulder to our sisters and the burning town. “Michael was right. Love is the end.”

  Cain’s strong arms ushered me outside onto the balcony, and cold air bit at my senses.

  “Breathe, sweetheart. Center yourself on my voice.”

  City ruins flickered into view, replacing the ancient desert of my past. The bone was poking through bits of skin. Death rose; every part of me lost to the vision.

  “C’mon Dorian, you can do this. Look at me and know where your heart belongs.”

  Heart…Love…“I can’t do this…” Can I? How could I have fallen for another liar, a master of deceit? I blinked, and his caramel gaze met mine.

  A tight smile played on his lips, but the evidence reached higher. “You are more than what God made you, sweets. Angels can love.”

  I was more than a fiendish, sex driven, killer Archangel. More than my past and evil deeds done in Father’s name, but was it enough to forget the evils done unto me in God’s name? For years, I had teetered with the notion of destruction, and for eons, shattered myself. And for what purpose had I punished myself?

  Cain cocked his head and followed my thoughts—I assumed. A tingle ran over my face, and I understood what Markos and Hallo had meant about magic. My eyes opened wide, and, for the first time, I saw the whitewashed world bathed anew in all its glory. Peace reigned, and love triumphed over evil. A darkened shroud hung above me, though, and the shadows flourished, raining its bounty over my pores.

  Cain’s attempts failed; the maddening struggle increased. Doubt whispered in my ear, and my past resurrected itself in full force. It whispered: I did not deserve him. Death deserved only death.

  “Stay with me, Dorian.”

  Wings cracked into the air, despite Cain’s voice, and my knees weakened once again. He gasped, and I glanced at the tattered, translucent feathers hanging from the boney wings, which protruded from my spine.

  Before my eyes, the wings darkened into midnight black, and I shouted, “No.” bowing at his feet. “Father? Why? Why are you forsaking me?” I begged him to take the tarnish away, but Father refused intervention.

  “Bare your sorrow, and together we will carry it.” Cain stroked my hair, tucking the strands behind my ear. “Let me help you abide this burden.” He whispered, “Let his light in and destroy the darkness, or fall into its eternal damnation forever. The choice was always yours, Dorian.”

  Lucifer walks among us. I blinked and rocked back. Cain was no more Lucifer than his children were. True, he’d lied, but why was Cain still lying to me? What was he so afraid of?

  Cain knelt and tilted my chin. “Long ago, before the first war, before the fall of the Archangels, my ancestor was a loyal Archangel like you.” Cain released a whistled breath. “These were the words my grandfather shared with me: ‘God came to me and introduced me to the great plan.’”

  He shifted. I squinted, and the stray shard of sunlight blinded me.

  “’My brothers and sisters had chosen me…me his most beautiful and beloved Archangel to fall from the grace of Heaven. They also chose two hundred more that I was to lead to this Earth. We became the Grigori.’”

  His thumb stroked my chin, and I relished in its warmth. Cain grinned and lifted us from the balcony floor. White wings were jutting from his back.

  “He played his part and led a rebellion against God, knowing the Lord would repay him someday. What my ancestor hadn’t expected was the defiling of his once good name and the twisted imagery among the humans.” He shuddered.

  I understood. The demons appeared nothing like the depictions in paintings or books. Some had tails or horns, but they were not ugly or grotesque. Above all else, not all were evil for the sake of being evil.

  Cain said, “Even then
, he never ceased loving God but watched as his family fell to those who embraced the evil and malevolent ways created by him in God’s name.”

  Despite knowing the answer, I asked, “God created evil then?”

  “One could say that, since he created us all, but it was each man, woman, angel, or demon that chose to act upon evil which wreaked havoc. That’s my belief at least. We all have the choice, Dorian, and that includes you.”

  “You’re Lucifer’s heir.” It wasn’t a question. “But you’re more than him, greater.”

  “Hêlêl,” he said Lucifer’s name in Hebrew. “Lilith, Angel, and I are descendants of the Archangel, and we aren’t the only ones. He had loved many before the uprising. Tomas and Belle are light bringers. That’s what he supposedly called us.” Cain sighed and pressed his lips together. “There you have my whole world of dark and dangerous secrets. The source of my power, and Lily’s, birthed from the fallen and condemned soul of one Archangel.”

  I kissed his cheek and nuzzled against his rough neck. Cain’s arms wrapped around me and held me hostage. The sun hid behind the clouds.

  “When the Garlands brought us to their home, they thought they’d stripped us bare and bound our powers. They knew whose blood ran through our veins, and that one of us would eventually destroy his empire. So he kept a tally, kept our line culled. Father flaunted the notion from the first time our families met, but I am no more him than I am my ancestor. None of us are, but everyone treats us like we were the ones who defied God, failing to see that it, too, had been a part of his plan.” He sighed. “But I can’t sit by while Boric destroys my family, and yet I am powerless to stop him, Dorian. If I marched up to him, even with a weapon that was sure to kill him, I would falter.”

  No, he was not like Lucifer. Cain was Cain, and I loved him for who he was. My lips trailed over the serpent tattoo, and my tongue traced its head, relishing in the salty flavor of his skin. His hands tightened on my waist.

  “That tickles,” he said, followed by a groan slipping from his lips.

  My hands ventured to his crotch. He had distracted me from my darkness and shined the light in my eyes. No longer did my mind chase the past, and the whispers of madness ceased. Cain pressed his hard outline against my hand.

  “It’s your turn to let go, babe.” The button popped free on his jeans, and I dragged down the zipper.

  Cain swallowed hard, and his gruff voice sounded his answer. “No.”

  I tugged the fabric down, alternating sides until he sprung free. He needed to see what I did was out of love and not a play for power. I wanted nothing more than for him to seek release, because he needed me to be the one. Needed again, the thought made me dizzy.

  “Dorian, why does everything revolve around sex and release?”

  A storm brewed in his eyes, and I leaned in to kiss those full lips. “Trust me,” I thought.

  I pressed my tongue against the tight seam of his lips. The heat of his cock seared through my palm. Slow strokes matched the rhythm of our tongues, dancing a line I had never meant to cross again.

  Love him? Yes, I could no longer deny. But tell him? My mind remained conflicted, and Cain tensed at the war brewing within me. He backed away and glanced over the balcony, drawing his clothing into place. Hurt glistened in his eyes. I could neither admit nor ignore it was of my own making.

  “There’s more to life than sex. Get the fuck out of my life if you can’t see past your own cock.” Cain finished righting his clothes before storming into his apartment and slamming the sliding glass door.

  My disheveled reflection and strange glowing eyes stared at me. Cruel cynical laughter sounded in my head, and I reminded myself whom I was. Of what I was. “Fuck.”

  His butterscotch gaze met mine. My wings snapped back while his remained free. Damned Elioud…I ran a hand through my hair, tugging hard on the greasy strands, but when I glanced up Cain was gone.

  Forever, until the end, I would be alone. My shoulders rounded forward, and my head hung low, gazing at the concrete floor of the balcony.

  Death couldn’t freely plunge into love again. Last time, it had broken me. The pit of my spirit screamed, and my arms spread wide. I tilted my head toward the mighty heavens and released a bone-chilling cry…one, two, then three voices echoed the torture extending in a blanket across Arcadia.

  Lies, lies, lies: they compounded against me and strangled the breath from my body. Lightning sounded and flashed. Sleet poured from the gray clouds that hadn’t existed a moment prior. Air swirled at my feet, and my scythe appeared. Words were only for show.

  Cain pounded on the glass, and I glanced over my shoulder. End the pain…no more pain for either of us. My blade glinted, and the ebony gems reflected the man who would have saved this world from the depths of Hell and banish those who broke the laws of Father to Sheol. A man who could have loved without the release and sexual fuel of desires propelling him into oblivion. Protect the weak, the innocent damned, from the likes of me.

  But I could not change, even though I wanted to be the type of man who deserved love and devotion, who warranted honesty. Instead, I grew out of the bitter seed altering into hardened bone. My heart, battered and blackened, knew nothing but sin. Nightmares had happier endings than what I’d planned for this cold, cruel world.

  “Callous, cold, and cruel…” My finger slid along the sharpened blade, and my tainted blood coated the surface. “I’m tired of pretending, of hiding.” The half-truth and half-whisper left my lips. I spun and stormed toward the glass barrier. With my blood, I drew a heart over the pane.

  Cain mouthed words I could not hear.

  “I love you,” I said. “But I can’t do this. I tried…I came here today to tell you, to lay my heart bare, but it’s of no use. You won’t budge.” Truth. I would’ve lived with his lies if he only admitted telling them. How lame to accept he deceiver within him.

  He backed away, tilting his head. My scythe lifted and sliced through the air.

  “No,” he screamed. His caramel eyes flashed red. He sprinted toward the barrier standing between us, face-hardened.

  Glass shattered, cutting my skin. “Shite, you bloody fucking wanker.” More curses lurched from my mouth as Cain’s body knocked me against the railing. We bounced before tumbling to the balcony floor. Ribs cracked and crushed into my lungs. Breath refused to come, and stars littered my blurred vision.

  Cain slapped me. “Dorian what the hell is wrong with you?” Metal tapped metal. His arm shook, holding the scythe in place.

  The balcony quaked, and three whooshes followed. Mark said, “Brother.”

  “This is your doing,” Cain accused Markos.

  Upside down, I blinked at Fauna, Mark, and Hallo, weapons drawn and pointed at his throat. I cried, “Enough! Stand down.”

  Two swords withdrew, and I stared into Cain’s eyes, and at the blade teetering at his jugular. My trembling hand stroked his fuzz-covered cheek, and I forced a bitter smile. This is not how I pictured him meeting my family.

  Glass shards protruded from the sliding door. Hallo narrowed her blue eyes on Cain and pressed her blade against his neck again. Wind whipped her wild, sleet-covered blonde hair, and her lip lifted revealing a sneer. “Satan’s spawn dares to kill a Horseman?” She spat in his face.

  “Watch it,” I warned, wiping her spittle.

  Fauna and Markos grabbed an elbow and pulled her back.

  “Ouch,” Cain said, reaching toward his neck. A thin river of blood marred his skin, its mouth starting at the snake’s head.

  I rose and sealed my lips over the wound. Cain’s jaw shuddered, and his hand slid over the handle of my scythe.

  Fauna whispered, “See the truth in his soul, Sister. It is he who has saved our brother and our world.”

  Her wings cracked, and Hallo breathed. The golden hilt sword blinked from her grip, and her hands swiped down, grasping the scythe.

  Cain melded and squirmed under my mouth. The blood had stopped, but I sensed his closeness
and could not let him go. Why had I lost control again? Fear: loving the man in my arms drove me to destroy, instead of being a better man.

  His breathing became ragged and rushed. The heat in him rose. My heart ripped open, and my love bled for him alone. I love you. Despite my strength, Cain tore himself away. Blazing eyes alight with fire pinned me down, and I forgot for a moment what I had planned, or how I’d ended up on the balcony.

  “You’re covered in glass because you’re an idiot.” Markos loomed over me. “I should leave you there, Brother.”

  Leaving me with Cain was not a bad idea.

  “But you’d enjoy it too much.”

  A blush flooded my cheeks with its heat. Markos is 100 percent correct.

  “Where are the others?” I asked. “Tell me you didn’t leave them alone.”

  They exchanged worried glances, and the wind picked up at their feet.

  My hands curled behind my head, and I grinned, like a lovesick fool. “It’s good to be the boss.”

  “What was that about?” Cain blinked, still staring where my family had been moments before.

  “Babe, think about who I am.”

  “Death.” His brow rose.

  “I can kill the world.” And them.

  “Yeah. No shit. Let’s not try that again, okay sweets?” He scrubbed his hand over his face. He leaned back and stood up, extending a hand toward me. “Why would Hallowed want to kill me…her eyes.” Cain shuddered again as he hefted me from the ground.

  Hallo would have slaughtered him, because she had witnessed the destruction from my past. Furthermore, she had her own story, but it was hers to tell.

  “Seriously, sweets. Don’t pull that shit again.”

  Damn, his naughty mouth was sexy.

  “I…I love you.”

  Not our end of course, but rather a new beginning. We would learn much about each other from those first weeks, but we understood the future held uncertainty, mysticism, and more than either of us could have handled alone. Our journey was far from over. Little did we realize the real trials of our companionship would face and truly be tested the moment we returned home—our home.