The Dirty Dozen: Damsel Edition

by Kay Maree

  A new comment popped up. Do you really mean that? JonnyC again.

  I said it, didn't I?

  Lucy's computer dinged. It took her a moment to realize it wasn't her email. The little envelope on her Facebook account now showed she had a message.

  I just want you to know how refreshing it is to meet someone that doesn't believe life is all about worthless material objects or wealth. That has always been my favorite Kinkade painting and I've often wondered at the beauty of the simplicity it holds. Sincerely, J.C.

  Lucy stared at the message. Is that a flirt? What do I do now?

  Call Tera.

  "What do mean, what do you do?? Answer him, you crazy woman."

  "I don't know what to say!"

  "You are Syn, Queen of Evil... daring, dauntless, beautiful, and mysterious. Hell, just say hi, how are you?"

  "Daring, beautiful and what?"

  "Just answer him. A little flirting never hurt anyone, and lord knows you need it."

  "I need it? I already have my hands full thank you very much."

  "No, you have bills to pay and a husband who spends too much. You need a little attention for YOU, even if it doesn't involve real life. You're just chatting for frig's sake."

  "What do you know? You're single and always busy."

  To: J.C.

  Don't misunderstand - I would love to have the material wealth to own that painting. But I really do believe that being happy isn't connected to possessions. Are you an artist? Yours truly, Syn

  Lucy sat and waited, but no message popped up. She tried not to feel disappointed, but she felt slightly deflated.

  Her computer dinged again. This time it was her regular email. She enlarged the screen and saw an email from 'JCreer' with an attachment. She clicked on the link.

  Her screen filled with the painting of the log cabin, as a desktop background. The email message was simple.

  To: Syn

  I'm not an artist nor am I rich, but if I were, this painting would belong to you. I have a feeling you deserve it. Cheers - Jonah

  As she sat there staring at her desktop, a new email dinged into her box.

  To: Syn

  By the way, if you'd like to chat, messenger is easier than Facebook, which I'm hardly ever on. Did I tell you how nice it is to meet you? Well, it is. Have a great day.

  Lucy stared at the words, knowing that the life of Syn had just begun.

  Chapter Seven

  Lucy

  It became an incentive to go to work every morning to see if she had an email waiting from Jonah. Just a simple 'hi there' made the day brighter.

  "I suppose I should have asked you this right off, but I didn't really want to. Are you married?" Jonah typed.

  Their chats had always been impersonal, and Lucy fidgeted as she struggled on how to answer the question she’d been dreading. "Yep," she replied, going with honesty as she held her breath waiting for his response.

  "I figured when you would only chat during the day."

  Lucy replied. "I don't get on the computer much at home. And I probably should have told you right off, but I just didn't want to. Are you married?"

  "I was. Not anymore."

  "I honestly don't know if I'm sorrier for you or sorrier for me.”

  Jonah typed back. "Let's play a game. Tell me one thing that you hate about your marriage, then I'll tell you one thing I hated about mine. We'll compare notes."

  Lucy answered without hesitation. "Dependency."

  "Ok," Jonah acknowledged. "Not an answer I expected so I need a little more explanation."

  "I wanted a partner, not a dependent. I never wanted to have to work two jobs to support my family while he sat at home doing nothing."

  "Ahh, that's why you work so much. That in itself explains a lot."

  "Ok, Mr. Jonah - your turn. What was one thing you hated about your marriage?"

  "Drugs."

  "Drugs?"

  "Drugs change a person and make them do stupid things." Jonah confessed. "And no, before you ask, I was not the one using."

  "Gotcha. And I'm sorry."

  "Not your fault, my dear Syn. Ok, next topic is yours."

  "Hmm..." Lucy thought. "Ok, let's play in a nutshell. In one paragraph or less, describe your marriage."

  "Bonnie and I were together for many years, she got into drugs, which led to various affairs with other men, we split, divorced. She married another guy who had a 2-year-old daughter, Sammi. Situation is horrible for her so I babysit when I can. I'm still single. End of story."

  "Wow. That's great that you can put aside your feelings and babysit."

  "It's not Sammi's fault that her parents are losers. I couldn't just sit back and watch the girl suffer."

  "Of course not. I would have done the same thing."

  "Your turn. In a nutshell."

  "Well," Lucy started. "In a nutshell, I've been married forever, one daughter, worked two jobs almost my entire married life, very little help with Sarah or the bills, Sarah is getting married next year, time for me to decide what I want to be when I grow up. End of story."

  "Okay, so you're supporting the loser, literally, and I'm emotionally supporting the loser's child. We make quite the team, don't we?"

  Lucy stared at her screen for a minute before typing. They DID make quite a team, didn't they? Jonah probably knew her better than her own husband of almost 25 years. She had given up years ago trying to communicate with Jake about how she felt about anything because if he felt threatened, he just became hostile and combative. If it was about her needs and wants, he just tuned her out.

  "We do," she typed. "You have Sammi filling a gap in your life, and I have always had Sarah. I can't say that I stayed with my husband because of her; he never really had that much to do with her. Took her fishing and stuff like that, but usually only stuff that was important to him."

  "So, why did you stay?"

  "Because I had what I needed, with Sarah. We were busy all the time, first with school projects, I did PTA, volunteered all the time when I wasn't working. Then she started playing volleyball and I helped with that. Whatever she did, I was the parent volunteer so we did it together. I didn't have time to worry about my life or my marriage. My life was Sarah and I was happy with that."

  "And now..."

  "And now Sarah is a big girl with a life of her own and doesn't need dear old mom quite so much. I don't have all the distractions from my own mess and I'm not happy with the way my life is. Along the way my marriage has just become a bad habit and it's not good for me anymore. It's time to start worrying about me because no one else is going to."

  "What do you want?"

  Lucy laughed as Jonah's message popped up on her screen. "That my dear is the million-dollar question. It's been so long since I worried about or even thought about what I needed that I couldn't answer that if my life depended on it."

  "I have some ideas for you. If you're interested, of course."

  "Oh, do you now?"

  "Even with a partner, you're lonely Syn. You need the attention and pampering that you deserve. You need more out of your own life than just supplying a life for someone else. And you want to be loved, and not just in a mom way, but you have to break your bad habit first."

  "Pretty good, Mr. Shrink. You make it sound so easy."

  "It is easy if you just let it happen. There are always excuses and distractions from getting where you want to be but it doesn't mean you'll never get there."

  Lucy groaned. "When did you become so smart?"

  "It's taken me awhile but I've had a long time to think about it."

  "How long ago did you get divorced, Jonah?"

  "A couple years ago. I haven't been much inclined to get involved with anyone since, except Sammi of course. She keeps me busy."

  "Sounds like you might be lonely, too."

  "I was."

  Do I want to know what he means by that? Lucy chewed her l
ip before typing. Her fingers knew she was going to ask before she did. "Was?"

  "Was. I met you."

  Lucy got up from her desk to get a cup of coffee before saying anything. She knew they were at a crossroads of sort and her next words were going to alter her path forward. Is this what I want? Is this considered cheating? Do I care if it is?

  Before she could decide how to respond, the office phone rang. She answered and posted the "I'm on the phone" emoticon to Jonah.

  "Hey babe," Jake started, "I'm going with Bill and some of the guys hunting this weekend up at Bill's property in the panhandle. Stop and get me some money on your way home."

  Lucy cringed. "What money Jake? You know the insurance and electric is due."

  “If I don't go now, I'm not sure when they'll be going back up there. You can only hunt certain times of the year you know."

  "Don't I know it," she replied dryly. "I don't have any money Jake; not extra money. You just don't get it."

  "Fine. Forget I said anything. I just won't go."

  As usual, Lucy felt the wave of guilt wash over her. "No, no. I'll figure it out."

  "Thanks hon - you're the best." Jake hung up.

  Why do I do this to myself? Lucy almost cried.

  She sat down and grabbed a notebook to try and rework the bills so she could get Jake the money he needed; no, wanted. At least he won't be home this weekend so I guess it's worth it. And there I go, justifying it again.

  Lucy glanced at her computer monitor. "Meeting me made everything better?" she typed.

  "Yup," was his one-word answer.

  "A man of many words."

  "I have plenty to say; just not sure you're ready to hear it all yet. But I'm patient."

  Curiosity dictated. "We've talked about a lot over the last several months. What am I not ready to hear?"

  "How I'm starting to feel about you. How each weekday starts with a smile because I'll know I'll talk to you. About how weekends suck because you're not online."

  She didn't dispute his statements because she knew she felt the same way. "Yeah, I know how that goes."

  "When you're ready for love, real love, I'm willing to help you find it. With me, hopefully. I'm already halfway there myself with you. We have so much in common, and I value your ideas and opinions. I can't believe that someone could waste what you have to offer."

  "I don't know that I'm ready, I don't know that I'm not. Everything is such a mess."

  "Don't worry about it, Syn. All I'm asking is that you're open to it. I have nothing but time. I'm not in any great hurry, and we have no choice but to take it slow and see what happens. I don't expect you to do anything if you don't want to or aren't ready to. I just want to be clear on how I feel."

  Lucy had tears in her eyes from the sincerity. How could she turn away from something she yearned for so badly? Decision made to take it to the next level, she typed in a few numbers. "I think you should call me."

  Chapter Eight

  Lucy

  Lucy ended the call on her cell phone and reared back to throw it across the parking lot. The only thing that stopped her was her daughter.

  "Mom, stop!" Sarah lectured. "Throwing your phone is not going to solve anything except cause you more stress when you have to go buy a new one."

  "You are getting married in two months. And all your father is worried about is why I'm not home yet. He's called me six times in the last two hours. I swear, I'm going to shoot the bastard before he can walk you down the aisle."

  "Just let it go. You know dad's not going to change. He does that every time you walk out the door. I still think you should move in with me and Carter."

  "Sarah, you just moved in with him a few weeks ago. You're getting married. You do NOT want me living with you. I'll be fine. Once you're settled, I'll get settled, somewhere."

  "Like Toronto?" Sarah teased.

  Lucy smiled. "Maybe. I can't wait to meet him. He has got to be the most patient man I've ever known."

  "It's been what, almost two years since you started talking to him? Yeah, even if he's a crazy online psycho killer, he's one of the most patient I've ever heard of." She laughed at her mom. "Guess you're worth waiting to kill."

  "Oh stop. Even you with your skeptical attitude have talked to Jonah enough that you actually like the man."

  "I'll like him even more if he keeps you sane enough that I don't have to bail you out of jail on my wedding night!" Sarah dodged out of reach as her mother raised her hand to mock slap her.

  "Get in there and get your dress fitted before I take you over my knee!" Lucy jumped after her daughter as Sarah took off, daring her to catch up.

  Two hours later, Lucy trudged into the house carrying groceries and bags full of items to make reception party favors. Crusader, her trusty black and tan Doberman, met her at the door. "Oh, big guy I wish you could help your momma carry these bags." His dark brown eyes met hers like he understood every word and wished he had two hands instead of four legs.

  Jake, as usual, was plopped on the couch, watching some fishing show. "There's more stuff in the car if you care to help." Lucy ventured. As she figured, he ignored her. Two trips later, she closed the front door and kicked off her shoes.

  "Hey, Hon, can you grab me a beer out of the fridge?"

  "No," Lucy replied icily, "I will not get you a beer. Get it yourself."

  Jake sliced his eyes at her as he rolled off the couch and stood. "What the hell's your problem?"

  "How can you ask me that?" Lucy stormed, quickly losing her temper. "You're too damned lazy to help me carry groceries in, you couldn't give a damn about your own daughter's wedding, and you want to know what my problem is?"

  Jake just blew her off as he walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. "There, I got my own beer. Happy now?"

  "No, I'm not. What did you want?"

  "When?"

  "When you called me every ten minutes for the last several hours."

  "I just wanted to know when you'd be home. I didn't know you were going to be gone all day."

  "Our daughter is getting married. A wedding does not organize itself. Dresses do not get fitted by themselves. It takes time."

  "A bunch of crap if you ask me. It's her wedding. Why don't you let her worry about it?"

  "Do you have any sense of parental responsibility in your body?" Lucy shouldn't be surprised after all these years, but she always was.

  "I hope we're not paying for all this wedding crap. If Sarah wants it, she should be paying for it."

  "WE?? Since when is there a 'we' when it comes to bringing in money? Even the part time stuff you do barely puts a dent in your truck payment."

  As usual, when backed into a corner, Jake pulled out the old deflection question. "How do I know you weren't out seeing your boyfriend?"

  Even though she knew he was halfway joking at an attempt to get out of the 'responsibility' lecture, Jake's comment pushed Lucy's temper to the boiling point.

  "Because, you sonofabitch, if I had a boyfriend, I would not be here supporting your sorry ass. I would not be financing all your little hunting trips with the boys while I sit here trying to figure out how to pay the bills. Because I have responsibilities and things to take care - stuff you have no concept of what I'm talking about because I've never made you worry about a thing."

  "A little testy, are we?"

  "Testy? Nah, I'm not testy - I'm tired, Jake. I am tired of you and your games. I'm tired of working my ass off while you play. I'm tired of HAVING to the same thing day after day after miserable day while you go do what you want. Why do I have to keep repeating the same thing to you over and over? Are you ever going to understand?"

  "Sounds to me like you're just looking for a reason to leave." Jake took a step toward her. He had never hit her, but Lucy often wondered if she'd ever get him so mad he would. Sometimes she wished he would so she could use that as the final straw that broke the camel's back.

&nb
sp; Instantly Crusader was on his feet and in front of Lucy, a slight growl emanating from his throat. It was just enough that Jake hesitated, but Lucy was having none of it. She snapped her fingers at the dog and pointed at the floor until he sat.

  "I don't have to look for a reason you bastard!!" she screamed at him. "Go look in the mirror if you want a reason of why I should leave. I can't stand being around you; why the hell would I want another man to put up with? Why is NOTHING ever your fault??"

  Lucy stormed into the kitchen and grabbed a beer of her own, slamming the screen door on her way onto the porch. She was afraid if she didn't get away from Jake, she was going to take a swing at him. Crusader followed her out, narrowly missing the flying door. He crawled up on the futon with her and laid his head in her lap.

  What am I doing? She absently stroked the Doberman's soft head. Am I having an actual affair? Jonah was willing to do anything to be together. He would move to Florida or she could move to Canada. His only condition was that she was free from Jake before they met.

  As always, when she was extremely pissed, Lucy called Tera.

  "Am I cheating on Jake?" she asked straight away as Tera answered.

  "What'd he do now?"

  "Just answer my question. Am I cheating on him?"

  "Do you love Jonah?"

  "Of course, I do," Lucy responded without hesitation. "But just once, just once in his miserable life, I want Jake to take responsibility for his own actions. He has caused all the issues because he won't work."

  Tera sighed. “You know that if Jake knew about Jonah, he’d put every bit of blame on you for cheating. He’d have an excuse to look like a victim.”

  Lucy ended the call. She knew Tera was right. On the other hand, she loved Jonah with every ounce of her soul and didn't want to be away from him any longer than necessary. He had become her soul mate over the last two years, as much a part of her life as he could be. The emotional attention that Jonah gave her filled a void that she hadn't even known was so large. Jonah loved her because he did, not because he needed anything from her.

  No, emotional is different from physical and I am not giving Jake the easy out. I never would have met Jonah if Jake hadn't been such an ass. One man has nothing to do with the other because none of these issues are new. I should have left when Sarah was a baby, so he's had more than enough time. I may not be totally innocent when it comes to Jonah, but he certainly is not the cause of any of Jake’s problems.