Flux (The Flux Series Book 1)

by Marissa Farrar

  “What are you doing? We’re in my dad’s house.”

  A dark, teasing look appeared in his eyes, the smile touching his full lips. He stepped forward again, but I didn’t step back. “Your father is out. I watched him leave. And this is your bedroom.”

  “You were watching the house? That’s kind of creepy, you know.”

  “I don’t care. I wanted to see you.”

  My breath was suddenly short. “You did?”

  “Of course. You can’t tell me you didn’t want to see me, too.”

  How was it possible that he was right? I’d only known him a matter of days, yet he was filling my every thought. We’d kissed, that was all, but I wanted us to know each other. I wanted him by my side, to be able to go back to the Cavern and for people to see us together.

  Unless he did this with all new recruits, of course. Maybe this was some kind of initiation he put all the new women through?

  The thought spiked alarm through me and I stepped back.

  He noticed and frowned. “What’s wrong?”

  “I just …” I stuttered. I didn’t know how to say what I felt without sounding like an immature little girl. Perhaps he was used to confident, worldly women who were happy to screw and get on with things. That wasn’t me. I connected emotionally to anyone I was physical with, and I didn’t want him to think I was the type who could be with someone, forget about them, and move onto the next person. “I just don’t do this with everyone,” I managed to say.

  He paused, his dark eyebrows shooting up his forehead. “And you’re worried that I do?”

  I gave an awkward shrug. “It may have crossed my mind.”

  He laughed and pulled me into him. I tried to protest, but my heart wasn’t in it. “I promise you, Ari, it’s just you. And I won’t push you into anything. Honestly, I just wanted to be here with you. I realize the last few days have been insane, and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  “It hasn’t only been the last few days,” I said. “My life has been upside down ever since the bombing.”

  His expression grew serious. “Hey, you’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to mess around.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me down so we sat, side-by-side, on the end of my bed. “Honestly, I’m excited to have you on board, and I guess I’ve been letting that push any considerations for what you’ve just been through. You were in a bombing where you lost your sister. I can’t even imagine what that must be like.”

  I pressed my lips together, my eyes squeezing shut, as though blocking everything out could lessen the pain.

  “I’m not sure I can explain it either. I thought what was going on now would be the thing to define me, and what I’d be focusing on, but it’s not.”

  “I get it,” he said.

  But I wasn’t sure he did.

  I found myself thinking in blocks of time relating to her death. This time two weeks ago, Karina was still alive. This time a month ago, Karina and I were having dinner down on the pier. This time a year ago, we’d been laughing about the antics we’d had on my twenty-first birthday. My sister had been excited about taking me out to all her favorite joints without needing to use any fake ID. Would it always be like this? Would I always be marking my life by the passage of time since her death?

  I gave a deep sigh and flopped back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Hunter copied me, so we lay together, not looking at each other, not speaking, just being there.

  “You know,” he said eventually, “I can’t help thinking about the bombing.”

  I twisted to face him. “What do you mean?”

  “That you were there at all. That you survived when your sister, and most of the people around you, died. Doesn’t it strike you as strange no one has taken responsibility for it yet?”

  I shrugged. “It might have just been a lunatic, wanting to do something crazy. It doesn’t mean there was a political motive.”

  “Okay, let’s say it was. How come you got away with no major injuries?”

  “I was thrown from my chair by the force of the blast. A lot of people—Karina included—died when the building collapsed. I was just lucky, that’s all.”

  “Have you ever been hurt, physically?”

  “Well … I …”

  I wracked my brains for something. I’d broken a tooth when I was seven and had been jumping rope. I fell over the rope and smacked my face on the floor, but I’d been okay. I’d never been admitted to a hospital. I’d never even been stung by a wasp or a bee, though the mosquitoes liked me well enough. I put it down to my over-cautious nature. When other kids were jumping on skateboards or climbing trees, I was more than happy to sit to one side and read a book. It wasn’t that surprising I’d never injured myself much more than a scraped knee.

  “I guess I’m just more resilient, or I’ve never put myself in a situation where I’ve been capable of being injured.”

  He lifted his eyebrows at me.

  “Apart from the bombing, of course,” I filled in.

  He was still staring at me, a curious expression in his dark eyes that I couldn’t read.

  “What?” I demanded.

  “I just wonder …”

  I sat upright and looked down at him. “Wonder what?”

  “If you’re one of the more resilient ones.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Some of us are harder to hurt than others. Kit is one of them. You can still get hurt—still die, we assume—but not as badly as others. So something that would be a broken bone to a regular person would only be a bruise to you. Or a bad cut on another person might only be a scrape for you.”

  “Seriously? I think I’m just risk averse.”

  “We could test the theory out.”

  I stared at him. “Uh-uh. No way.”

  “You don’t want to find out?”

  “I’m barely coming to terms with the whole telekinetic thing. I’m not going to start self-harming so see how easy I am to hurt.”

  He shrugged. “I’d want to know.”

  “How do you not know already? You might be hard to hurt, too.”

  He shook his head. “Nah. My father threw me down a flight of stairs, remember? I fractured three ribs and my skull. Plus, he’d already broken my arm when I was sixteen, and gave me multiple injuries before that. I’m definitely easy to hurt.”

  Sorrow swelled up inside me at the thought of him being treated that way, of a small boy being beaten by the one person who was always supposed to love him. I reached out and took his hand.

  “I’m sorry. I have a bad habit of always thinking about myself. You don’t know where he is now?”

  “No, I don’t care either. If he ever tries to find me, which I highly doubt he ever will, I’ll kill him before I ever speak to him.”

  A hardness crept into his tone, and for a moment the sexy, teasing guy vanished and was replaced by someone angry and dangerous.

  He shook his head, breaking himself from the moment. “We have other things to worry about, anyway.”

  I was thankful he wasn’t going to bring up the hurting thing again, though now I had something else to mull over. Was what he said a possibility? It seemed crazy, but no crazier than the possibility of being able to move objects and even the air around us by the power of thought alone. And he said the other guy, Kit, was already this way—harder to hurt. I wondered what sort of experiments they’d done to prove this, and if they’d try to push me into them eventually. I would be at the Cavern for training. I doubted they’d let it slide.

  Exhausted from the day’s events, I let out a big yawn, covering my mouth with the back of my hand.

  Hunter patted my pillow. “You need to get some sleep.”

  “What about you?”

  “I’ll sleep with you.”

  “Hunter,” I warned.

  He laughed and held up both hands. “Sleep. I promise. That’s all I meant.”

  I wasn’t totally sure I believed him. I also wasn’t tota
lly sure I wanted him to keep to his promise. But I didn’t want to be seen by the others at the Cavern as the new recruit who slept with her recruiter after only a couple of days of knowing him. Kit had already caught Hunter kissing me, and he clearly hadn’t been happy about the situation.

  I was tired, however, and the thought of having him sleeping beside me made me feel safer. My dreams would be full of men in dark suits, and bombings, and jumping off bridges into expanses of white nothingness. Being able to wake from my fears to have someone there who understood what I was going through made everything feel just a little bit better.

  We lay side by side, his arm slung around my waist, the weight of it calming me. I didn’t think I’d sleep, having someone else in my bed, and with my thoughts churning, but my eyes grew heavy, my thoughts distant, and before I’d even registered it was happening, I’d vanished into oblivion.

  Chapter Eleven

  I woke the next morning and knew he’d already gone before I even reached out and found the space beside me empty. The atmosphere in the room was different when he was around, and the bed wasn’t dipped in the way it had been when he’d been lying next to me.

  With a sigh, I rolled over, taking the spot where he’d been. It wasn’t even warm, so he must have vacated the room a while ago. The temptation of sleep lulled me back down into its depths, but then I remembered what day it was. I was due to be leaving to go and live beneath ground for several weeks.

  And I hadn’t even packed yet.

  My eyes snapping open, I bolted up in bed. Nerves churned my stomach and lightheadedness washed over me. I scrambled to my feet and used the bathroom, hurriedly scrubbing my teeth and throwing water over my face. I pulled my blonde locks into a high ponytail, and then put my hands either side of the sink, the porcelain cool against my palms. I took a slow breath, trying to calm my nerves. My gaze alighted on my razor blade and the memory of the conversation we’d had last night came back to me. Could what Hunter have said been true? It was easy enough to find out. I just needed to take the blade out of the razor and slash my arm with it. If it cut as I’d expected, it would mean I didn’t have that particular talent, but if it didn’t ...

  The thought of being somehow protected from injury made my head spin. The possibilities were terrifying. Endless. Infinite.

  No, I couldn’t do it. Picking up a razor and deliberately cutting myself felt too close to stepping into the realms of madness.

  I was going to freak myself out again if I thought about things too much. To keep busy, I went into my bedroom and continued the packing Hunter had interrupted the previous night. I picked up clothes and stuffed them in my backpack—more jeans, t-shirts, underwear, a spare pair of sneakers. I added my toiletries, and then slipped in the couple of framed photographs I had on my bedside table. One was of me, Karina, and my dad a couple of years ago, taken when we’d rented a cabin near the lake. We were all tan, with big white smiles. We looked happy, and I had to blink back tears as a swell of emotion buffeted me. The second picture was of my mom and dad when they first met—my dad looking much the same as he did now, only with a few less lines and a little more hair, and my mom looking just like Karina did before she died.

  I hoped they were together now, wherever they were.

  My thoughts turned to what lay ahead.

  Would Hunter come back for me, or was I due to make the trip to the Cavern alone? If so, how was I supposed to get down there? My powers were in no way strong enough to conjure up whatever magic worked the wind and fog like Hunter had, and I thought I’d rather jump off the bridge than attempt to scramble down the cliff-face steps by myself.

  I’d go and have breakfast with my dad, and hang around for as long as possible before heading out. I hoped Hunter would show up again, but, if he didn’t, I guessed I would have to take this into my own hands. I was a grown woman, and I needed to start acting like one.

  Turned out, I was up first. Roused by the aroma of the coffee I was brewing, my dad clomped his way down the stairs and entered the kitchen.

  “Hey, Dad.” I took in the sight of him—ruffled, crazy bed-head, and puffy, bloodshot eyes. I caught the faint hint of old alcohol. “Rough night?”

  He yawned. “Yeah, we won.”

  I laughed. “Shouldn’t that be a good thing?”

  “It was. We celebrated with a few too many beers. Sorry, sweetheart. I meant to be up and making you breakfast before you left.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll make you some instead.”

  “You’re a good girl. What am I going to do without you?”

  His words made my heart clench. “You’ll be fine, Dad. It’s only a couple of weeks, and I’ll call, and email. You remember how to use email, don’t you?”

  “All right, miss,” he grumbled. “I’m not that old and decrepit.”

  “Just checking.” He knew I was teasing him. I’d miss this easy banter between us. I didn’t think the company where I was going would be quite so lighthearted.

  I poured coffee and made us some eggs. We ate in a companionable silence, and the moment I stood to clear the plates away, the doorbell rang.

  My stomach lurched and I was suddenly worried I’d need the bathroom again. I forced a smile. “That’ll be my ride.”

  My dad was already on his feet. “I’ll get it.”

  “No, it’s okay.” I was suddenly panicked at him finding Hunter there again. What would he think? He might guess that this whole thing was a ruse, but assume I was running off with some guy rather than going to live with a group of telekinetic people.

  He ignored me, however, and was out of the room and heading to answer the door before I could protest again.

  I heard mumbling, and then my father returned. “Wow, they really are taking care of you. They’ve sent you a car.”

  I blinked. “They have?”

  I peered past him to see a man in a suit walking back down to an expensive looking car parked at the curb. I could only see the back of him, but I thought I recognized the sandy colored hair. As I watched him walk away, he glanced back at me.

  It was Kit, the same man who apparently owned the whole of the Cavern. Was he going to drive me? How would we get down to the entrance of the Cavern if I didn’t have Hunter to take care of me? All my defenses were up. Why was Kit here? I wished Hunter had come. I’d have felt a lot better then.

  “Everything all right, sweetheart?” my dad asked, 0bviously recognizing my discomfort.

  I forced a smile. “Yeah, it’s just scary going away for this long. I’m worried you’ll need me and I won’t be here.”

  Or worried I’ll need you and you won’t be there.

  “I’ll miss you,” he said with a smile, “but I will be fine. I have a half dozen TV dinners in the freezer, so I’m not going to starve. You have your cell phone, right?”

  I patted my pocket. “Yep. I’ll call, I promise.” Though I wasn’t sure how much cell phone coverage there was underground. They must have phones down there, though. From what I’d seen, they had enough technology to serve half the city.

  “Good girl.”

  He leaned in and hugged me, and I squeezed him harder, holding back the tears that always seemed too close to the surface ever since the bombing. Above my head, the light bulb started to flicker and flash. Recognizing it for what it was, I took a breath, steadying my emotions, and the light died away again. I allowed myself a small smile of pride. Where previously the bulb probably would have broken, I’d managed to control the outcome instead.

  Kit honked the horn to hurry me up.

  I bent and picked up the backpack, which I’d slung at the bottom of the stairs when I’d come down for breakfast. With a final smile, and half wave to my dad, I trotted out the door and down the path to the waiting car. Kit was already waiting behind the wheel, so I opened the passenger door and climbed in.

  “Hi,” I said. “I wasn’t expecting to see you.”

  “Sorry if I’m a letdown,” he replied.

  The rapid
clicking of the blinker filled the car, and he leaned out slightly to check his blind spot, before pulling the vehicle out into the road, joining other traffic.

  His words jarred me. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just assumed Hunter would come and fetch me. Is he okay?”

  “He’s fine, but he told me someone followed you yesterday. If someone is on his tail, I didn’t want him to lead them to you.”

  “Of course.”

  I wondered what Kit would say if he knew Hunter had spent the night lying beside me in bed.

  Facing the passenger window, with my bag clutched on my lap, I watched the city go by. I had too many questions, but I was too nervous to give voice to any of them. Would I be allowed to leave the Cavern once my training had started? Would I be able to call my dad? Was Kit hard to hurt physically, like Hunter had said?

  I didn’t know why, but something about Kit made me uncomfortable. Maybe it was only that he came from big money and he carried himself as such. He was one of those people who automatically thought everyone should be focused on him, and got shitty with anyone who wasn’t.

  We drove through the city and crossed the Golden Gate Bridge. At the other end, he took the ramp off which was sign posted to Vista Point. I thought he might pull into the car lot provided for the tourists, but instead he followed the road under the bridge, taking us out the other side. Kit drove down the narrow road, heading back toward the headland. He turned off again, and this time the way forward became a service road that was little more than a dirt track. A few minutes later, he pulled in, easing the car up alongside one of the block-shaped buildings. Metal railings ran around most of the single story structures. The view across the Golden Gate Bridge and out to San Francisco Bay was breathtaking. I guessed hikers liked this spot for the view as well, though there weren’t any here today.

  “You know where we are?” he asked, as switched off the engine and climbed out.

  “Yeah,” I replied, undoing my seatbelt and climbing out to join him. “It’s the old fort used during the war. Battery Spencer. What are we doing here?”