Home Bound

by Samantha Chase

  Cole put an arm around me again, and I let myself take comfort in it—for just a few seconds.

  “I used to love getting packages in the mail,” I murmured, following the line of my thoughts. “My granddad used to send me these caramels from a little candy shop in his town. He’d send them every week to me when I started doing the television show—just to let me know he was thinking about me. The only place you could get those caramels was Hillsville, Indiana, and every time they came in the mail to me, I’d know he loved me. They just meant love.”

  I realized what I was saying—to a guy who’d been nothing but a jerk to me—so I pulled away, a little embarrassed.

  “Sounds like a good grandpa,” he said, not sounding like he thought I was stupid.

  I nodded. “I haven’t had them since he died, but getting stuff in the mail always felt really special to me because of it. But now I’m afraid it’s all going to be tainted because of this.”

  “This won’t last long. We’ll get him.”

  When I looked up at him, his expression was different. It was still protective, but it was warm in a very different way.

  I responded to the expression immediately. My heart accelerated, and my pulse started to throb in my wrists and my throat. There was something very masculine, powerful, almost fierce about him. He wasn’t handsome like the men I was used to dating, but his presence so close to me suddenly prompted an instinct more primitive than anything I’d ever experienced.

  As if my body was attuned to his—by nature, all the way down to the core.

  We stared at each other, both of us breathing heavily, and for a moment I was sure he would kiss me.

  And I wanted him to. Ridiculously, irrationally, I wanted him to.

  I wanted him to claim me in some primal way.

  Fortunately, my brain finally caught up, and I suddenly saw us as if from a distance. Me in my pajamas, him in his jeans and bad attitude, trapped in some sort of holding pattern of resentment and attraction for a moment that just wouldn’t end.

  I remembered then everything he had said to me that week, all the offensive ways he had treated me.

  There was no way in hell I could kiss that kind of man.

  There was no way in hell I would want to.

  I turned away, reaching for my lukewarm coffee and taking a swig, mostly for something to do.

  He made a sound in his throat and took a step back too. “I’ll have the box checked out,” he said at last, sounding not nearly as focused as normal. “And I’ll look into the courier service. This guy won’t be able to hide his tracks as well as he thinks.”

  I nodded. “Good.”

  He looked around, as if he wasn’t sure what to do. “I’ll go take care of it. You stay here today.”

  I didn’t want to go out. I didn’t want to go anywhere. But I also didn’t want him to order me around as if I had no say about my own life. “I might go to the day spa later.”

  “No. You need to stay here today. Don’t go anywhere.”

  I stiffened in anger, more at his harsh tone than at the instructions. “I’ll go somewhere if I want to. You can’t imprison me in this apartment. Malcolm can take me.”

  “No, he fucking can’t.”

  “Fuck you,” I snapped, completely losing my patience. After the week of aggravation and the fright I’d just had, I had no mental barriers left. Not to mention the weird reaction I’d just had to him, which I absolutely could not let myself entertain. “You can’t stop me from doing normal things. It’s not dangerous. I haven’t made an appointment, so no one can know I’m going there. Maybe someone like you could be satisfied buried in a hole somewhere, but most of us want to behave like civilized human beings.”

  I regretted the words as soon as I’d said them, since they came out sounding like I was slamming him for a class reason—as if he were lower-class and thus uncivilized—when I’d intended it to be about his endlessly rude behavior. But there was nothing I could do about it now.

  At least I’d said something to show how I felt about him.

  He grew very still for just a minute, and then his eyes turned ice cold. “Understood,” he said. “But you’re still not just going with Malcolm. If you’re going out today, I’ll get an extra guy to go too.”

  “Fine,” I said, relenting just to get him out of here. “Now, would you just take that horrible thing out of here and go away.”

  He gave me another cold look. “I’m gone.”

  He was gone, and I was relieved. But I was also really upset. About everything.

  Someone was after me, refused to let me feel safe anywhere.

  And Cole seemed to hate me more now than he had before.

  It was a lot to have accomplished before ten o’clock on a Saturday morning.

  Four

  Cole

  Well, I’d give her this, she had balls.

  Seriously, I’d butted heads with more than my share of people, and the diva certainly did a damn fine job of putting me in my place. Part of me was actually proud of her.

  And part of me still wanted to strangle her.

  I couldn’t believe that I’d actually let my guard down and didn’t even think to check the damn box of muffins. Nothing should be left unchecked, and at this point, everyone was a suspect.

  Shit.

  Not the best way to start a day.

  It wasn’t until I was down in the lobby that I actually allowed myself to breathe. I couldn’t slack off on this case—or any case, for that matter—but particularly this one. The sooner I got things figured out, the sooner I’d be out of here.

  And away from Evangeline.

  Even thinking her name had me shaking my head. It was ridiculous. Although it was kind of fun twisting it around and watching her get all pissy about it. I chuckled at the thought and realized that it was the only kind of distraction I could allow myself. I was not here to play nice. I was not here to socialize.

  And I was certainly not here to get up close and personal with a client.

  No matter how badly my body was saying otherwise.

  “Fuck,” I muttered and pulled out my phone. We had a lab in D.C. that we used for cases like this. There was no way I could leave and bring it to them, and I knew they would give me shit about having to make the drive to Baltimore to pick it up.

  Too fucking bad. They got paid a lot of money to handle things like this, and I was not in the mood to play courier.

  Fifteen minutes later, arrangements were made. I had gotten a kit from the trunk of my car, so I could bag this stuff up and keep it protected until their guy arrived to pick it up. That was one thing off of my list. Now to check with the doorman. I knew Evangeline said these muffins were a normal occurrence, but I needed to know how they arrived, who delivered them, and then get with Malcolm and have him hit the bakery and question the people there.

  It was a long shot, and I knew it. Chances were whoever put the mouse in there did it after the box left the bakery, but still, I had to check every angle and question every person I possibly could.

  It wouldn’t be so bad if I actually liked talking to people.

  But I didn’t.

  Most people are idiots.

  A fact that was confirmed once I was done with the doorman. He was completely useless. He couldn’t give me an accurate description of who dropped the box off and played it off as “being busy.”

  Bullshit.

  I realized these muffins came all the time, but Evangeline hadn’t been here in this location for long so this guy should have been paying more attention. It was an average delivery for Evangeline, not so much for the doorman. I promised the guy that I was going to be talking to his boss and his boss’s boss. He didn’t really seem to give a shit, but it made me feel better to issue the threat.

  I was better than this.

  I knew I was better than this, and on most cases, I was much further along in figuring out what the hell was going on. Why couldn’t I do this? Why couldn’t I get a handle on w
here this threat was coming from? Looking at my watch, I saw I had already been away from Evangeline for almost forty-five minutes. And that was much longer than I should have allowed. Shaking my head, I walked over to the elevator and headed back up.

  Once back at her apartment, I let myself in. She was nowhere in sight, and I actually breathed a sigh of relief. With her out of the way—even temporarily—I could finish making my calls. The first call was to Malcolm. I shared the morning’s events with him and was glad he seemed just as perplexed as I was. With explicit directions, I sent him on his way to do some investigating on his own.

  With still no sign of Evangeline, I took a minute to call Levi and chuckled at how exhausted he sounded. “What’s the matter? Not getting any sleep?” I asked.

  A loud yawn was the initial response, followed by, “I cannot believe how much one baby can mess you up. I mean, Harper just keeps telling me he’s got his days and nights mixed up, but how the hell do you fix that?”

  “So were you sleeping right now?”

  “I wish.” Another yawn. “I doubt you’re calling to check on my sleeping habits, so what’s up? I thought we had a conference call planned for tomorrow.”

  “Yeah, I know,” I said with my own weariness. “It’s just...I don’t know, man. I can’t read this case, and it’s starting to piss me off.” I gave him a rundown of what I’d seen, heard, and observed and then waited for his input.

  “Seems to me a large part of the issue is that there are so many possibilities. There’s no obvious string of suspects because Evangeline’s in such a high profile position. Honestly, this person might not even be in Baltimore.”

  “No,” I said adamantly. “The mouse in the muffin box says otherwise.”

  “Or he has an accomplice.”

  “Shit. Don’t even say that. If I can’t get a handle on one of them, how the hell am I supposed to track down two of them?”

  “It’s still early in the case, Cole. I know you want out of there, and I think that’s part of what’s fucking with you. Stop thinking about the end of the case and get your head in the here and now.” He yawned loudly, and in the background I could hear the baby cry. “Listen, we’ll talk again tomorrow. You’re free to talk around seven in the morning, right?”

  “Why don’t you tell me what this is all about and save the call?”

  There was a minute of hesitation. “It’s really something we all need to talk about. Seb’s even calling in from vacation.”

  “That sounds pretty serious, Levi. Come on. What’s going on?”

  He sighed. “I got a call yesterday. From Washington. It seems that the inquiry into what happened the day Gavin died is over.”

  Shit.

  “The only reason I received the call is because someone majorly broke protocol to tell me. I just thought...” he cleared his throat, “I figured we’d all discuss it now because we’ll probably all be either called or summoned to the capital to talk about it.”

  “No fucking way. I’m not going.”

  “Cole...”

  “No, I’m serious, man. I did my time and I’m out. No one has any hold on me or any power over me. It’s over, it’s done, and I’m not talking about it ever again.” I was pissed by the catch in my voice. “I...I can’t. I can’t go there again, Levi. I just can’t.”

  “We’re all feeling the same way,” Levi said quietly. “Believe me, I’d like nothing more than to just move on from the whole thing. But we owe it to Gavin—and to ourselves—to see it through to the end.”

  “The end already fucking came! Gavin’s dead! No inquiry or meeting or report is going to change that! Why are we still having to talk about it?”

  In the background, the cries grew louder, and I heard Harper call out for Levi. “Look, Cole, I’ve got to go. Call in the morning. Please.”

  I told him I would, but I was still on the fence and leaning heavily toward not. But he had enough on his plate without dealing with me and my hang ups and issues. I hung up and rested my elbows on the counter, my head in my hands.

  “Are you okay?”

  Great. I looked up and saw Evangeline standing beside me, concern written all over her face.

  “Yeah. Why?” I snapped, straightening.

  “I...I overheard...” She motioned toward my phone.

  “Yeah, well...just...just forget that you did.” I stalked away and went in search of something to drink. She stayed rooted to the spot, watching me. I was not really thirsty, but I needed to keep moving. I couldn’t have her looking at me like that—with pity. With compassion.

  “Who was Gavin?” she asked softly.

  I should have put up more of a fight. I should have told her to go away.

  But I didn’t.

  Instead, I walked over to the sofa and sat down, staring at my hands that were clasped in front of me. Before I knew it, she was sitting beside me quietly and listening intently as I pretty much bared my soul to her.

  “Gavin was...my best friend. He was this amazing guy—the kind of guy that was always there for you and would do anything for you.” I raked a hand through my hair. “He had the knack of looking at you and seeing you for who you really were and not...not the way everyone else did.”

  “He sounds like a great guy,” she said quietly.

  I nodded. “He was. I met him in basic training. He had joined the Marines willingly, and I sort of went as a last resort. A way to escape.”

  “Escape what?”

  “My life.” I looked over at her and her expression hadn’t really changed much. She seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying. I shrugged. “My father was the town drunk, and my mother died when I was eight. We were piss-poor, and I did what I had to do in order to survive.” My words were harsh. I was expecting to shock her, but still she didn’t react. “I’ve stolen food, clothes, money...cars. I was into drugs while I was in high school and did my best to stay away from home. I would sometimes sleep in the alley rather than go home.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I was the old man’s punching bag when I was there. I wasn’t always this big. And I used to be afraid to fight back.” I gave a mirthless laugh. “I was lucky that I sort of had an overnight growth spurt. I came home one day and the sight of me kind of took him by surprise. He punched...and I punched back."

  “What did he do?”

  I met her gaze and held it. “He pulled a gun on me.”

  “Oh, my God!”

  “Yeah, he pretty much was completely out of his mind—the alcohol always made him mean. He had the gun to my head and was telling me what a worthless piece of shit I was.” I shrugged again. “It wasn’t new information, and he wasn’t the only person in town with that opinion of me. He went on and on about what I disappointment I was, and all the while, he kept pressing the gun into my forehead.”

  “What did you do?” she asked, leaning forward slightly.

  “He may have had the gun, but his reflexes were shit. He was so busy ranting and raving and listening to the sound of his own voice that he was taken by surprise when I moved. I swung my arm out and had him on the ground with the gun to his head in a heartbeat. I beat him until he was unconscious.”

  “What happened to him?”

  “At the time? I have no idea. I took the gun and all the booze in the house—along with the few belongings I had—and left.” I straightened and took a deep breath. “I walked thirty miles to the next county and enlisted. I heard he died a year later.”

  “Oh, Cole...that’s horrible.”

  “Why? He was a drunk. A bully. A bastard. You know how he died? He was walking the streets, drunk as a skunk, and wandered onto the train tracks. He probably never saw the damn thing coming.”

  Evangeline gasped.

  I stood. “Believe me, no one misses him, and the world is a better place without him.”

  She sat silently for a long minute. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.”

  “What did you do when you found ou
t he’d died?”

  “Not a thing. The military made sure I was notified, but I was deployed overseas. There was nothing to go home for or to do.”

  “Did you go back after you were discharged?”

  I nodded.

  “But...why?”

  “I had no place else to go. I found out that the house was left to me, so I planned on just going back and cleaning up whatever mess the old man’d left behind and leave. It wasn’t that simple because...well, I was injured and...”

  “What happened to you?”

  I explained to her about the explosion that had killed Gavin, my voice devoid of emotion. “Half of my body was ripped apart from flying shrapnel and debris. I had broken bones. I was fairly mobile by the time I was released from the hospital, but I was far from healed. I thought I’d make a quiet re-entry back into civilian life. I’d seen stories of guys like me getting a hero’s welcome when they came home. Not me. All I got was a bunch of judgmental old bitches who couldn’t wait to remind me of my past.”

  “That’s not fair!” she cried.

  “Yeah, I know. But it is what it is. Closed minded people rarely change. I couldn’t help my circumstances when I was a kid. Maybe if someone had bothered to pay attention to the fact that my mother was dead and my father was beating me, I wouldn’t have had to steal. I might not have gotten involved with drugs. But instead, they all want to act as if I was just being rebellious for the sake of rebelling. Fucking hypocrites.”

  “I’m so sorry...I...I can’t even imagine what that must make you feel like.” She reached out and took one of my hands in hers. Her skin was so soft and when she looked up at me, her eyes were huge and filled with tears.

  “Don’t...” I began almost angrily. “Don’t feel sorry for me. It’s over. I’ve moved on.”

  “Have you? Because it certainly doesn’t seem like it. It seems like you’re punishing everyone for the actions of a few people.”

  I tried to pull my hand away, but she held on. “I’m not a moron. I can see how people look at me.”