Dead Zone

by Amber Lynn Natusch

  “Nowhere you need to worry about,” I replied before bolting out the door. I flew down the staircase and out into the street, sprinting the second my feet met the pavement. I ran for blocks, until the neighborhood changed from decaying to slightly revived to fully alive. I caught the bus I needed to head to the opposite side of town. To the place I’d been forbidden to return to. Twenty minutes later, I found myself standing at the edge of the rail yard, opening the chain link gate. The second I set foot on the property, lights inside the old train depot turned on. Another moment later, Damascus stepped out onto the porch, his eyes glowing yellow.

  I put my hands up in the air to look as non-threatening as possible and called out to announce myself.

  “Just me. No need to freak out.”

  Even from across the yard, I could see the tension in his shoulders. He said nothing to me as I approached. By the time I reached the base of the porch steps, I was starting to wonder if I’d made a horrible mistake.

  “You should not be here,” he said, towering over me like the monstrous being he was. Fear caught in my throat as I realized that I had indeed burned a bridge by not returning sooner.

  “Yeah, okay...I’ll go. Sorry...”

  I turned to walk away but couldn’t. His hand had wrapped around my forearm far too tightly to allow that.

  “No,” he said, his tone demanding that I look at him. There was a wildness in his eyes that I had not seen there before, like they’d seen something they shouldn’t have. It was then that I realized he wasn’t angry with me for not having returned. He was afraid.

  He loosened his grip on me but would not let me go. For whose sake that was, I couldn’t be sure.

  “No what?” I asked softly.

  When he didn’t reply right away, I looked down at the arm that held me still and saw a faint glow coming off it. Without thinking, my free hand drifted up to it and turned it slightly, allowing me to see the source of the light. The eye tattooed on the inside of his forearm started to shine brilliantly, practically blinding me in the darkness. I squinted but could not look away. My fingers reached to brush the edge of the tattoo, but the second they did, Damascus pulled away, letting me go.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t...I just wanted...”

  “I saw you,” he started, still looking at me with wide eyes.

  “Saw me where? When?”

  “At a party. Tonight.”

  “Oh,” was all the response I could muster. I prayed he hadn’t seen what had happened between TS and me. If he had, I wondered just how awkward things were about to get for me.

  “Alejandro. I saw you with him.”

  “I was.”

  “He claimed you...”

  My features scrunched up with confusion. “Um, you lost me on that one, big guy.”

  “I saw him claim you. You should not be here.” He leaned forward slightly as if to further drive home the point he was trying to make. “You should not be able to be here.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “He is an owner. What’s his is his and no one else’s. He would never have let you leave him. So I do not understand how you have come here tonight.”

  “Wait. Are you saying that, if he had claimed me, I would have literally been his property to do with as he pleased? I would have lost any free will I possess?”

  Damascus’ brow furrowed. “If? I don’t understand. He did claim you. Now, explain how you have come here without him.”

  “Yeah, I don’t know what memo you got about the party, but he didn’t claim me. He was going to—he would have without a particular individual’s interference—but he didn’t.”

  Those massive, inhuman yellow eyes nearly swallowed his face. The shock he felt slammed into me, making it hard to breathe.

  “Impossible.”

  “And yet not. I promise you—he didn’t claim me. I walked out of that party of my own accord. Nobody owns me.”

  Ever.

  Those impossibly wide eyes narrowed in an instant, and he thrust his face into mine. His fear and shock turned to distrust in a heartbeat. Distrust of me, so it seemed.

  “Who intervened?” he asked.

  “A friend. Someone who used to watch out for me.”

  “His name,” he pressed, his tone demanding, his body language threatening.

  “I don’t understand why that matters,” I argued, as my chest grew tighter. It suddenly dawned on me that if TS had had such a horrific reaction to knowing I had been with Damascus, then maybe Damascus would have an equally bad one to learning that I was—or had once been—close to TS.

  “His name. Now.”

  I swallowed hard, hoping I could avoid a war with one tiny lie. “Ajax. I call him Ajax.”

  Damascus pulled away from me, his expression incredulous. “Ajax? I know of no one by that name.”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know what to tell you. That’s what I call him. That’s who stepped in and saved the day. So are we good here?”

  I could tell by the look on his face that we weren’t good at all, but knowing how TS had reacted to Damascus before—how adamant he had been that I have nothing to do with him—there was no way I was going to reveal that he had been the one to claim me. Mad as I was at him, I wasn’t willing to serve him up to an uncertain outcome. Until I understood their history, I was keeping one from the other.

  Unless I got caught, which I feared would be my fate.

  “Why have you come here, daughter of the PC?”

  I hesitated for a second, unsure how to answer. Then I decided on the truth.

  “I just needed to get away. Go somewhere that my family wouldn’t find me.”

  He contemplated my answer for a moment, then stepped back, indicating the open door to his house.

  “Then perhaps you should go inside.”

  I nodded and did as he suggested. Though he was far from good company, Damascus could give me what no one else could in that moment—a quiet escape. A place to think without interrogation. Maybe that was part of his appeal: his ability to be silent. I knew there would be no chance for silent contemplation when I returned to the warehouse.

  All I wanted was a moment to think.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  It was after one in the morning when I walked into the warehouse. Cooper and my brothers had waited up for me, not surprisingly. Their eight million concerned texts had clearly indicated that they would.

  Nico kept his theatrics in check as I strode into the living room. I could see it was killing him to do so, but he managed to curtail his angry outburst. Cooper was out of his seat in a flash, walking toward me with arms open, prepared to crush me in a hug. Alek, however, greeted me like everything was normal—like what had occurred there only hours earlier had never taken place at all. I wished I had that level of control.

  Maybe I wouldn’t have gone off the deep end about what had happened between TS and me.

  “Where is everybody?” I asked, walking toward Cooper through the furniture carnage that remained. Apparently nobody had felt the need to clean up while I was gone.

  “Muses and the Fates are out,” Cooper replied, hugging me tightly.

  Silence.

  “And TS?”

  When nobody spoke, I pushed away from Cooper to assess his expression. Then Nico’s. Then Alek’s. Cooper’s mouth pressed to a thin line before he took a deep breath.

  “He thought it would be best if he wasn’t around when you returned.”

  “He left? For real?”

  “No. He’s on the roof,” Alek said.

  I exhaled loudly. “I need some sleep.”

  As I started to walk away, Nico’s words stopped me. “Are you all right?”

  I looked over my shoulder to find him staring at me, his eyes a mix of anger and sympathy—his irises a beautiful blend of black and green.

  “I’m fine.”

  With a sharp nod, he turned away from me, headed for the front entrance. I continued to the stairs that would lead me to room, m
y bed, and with any luck, a state of unconsciousness that would eradicate the rolling uncertainty churning in my stomach. The more my anger subsided, the more I was left with feelings I didn’t know how to deal with.

  I collapsed onto my bed, hoping sleep would take me right away, but instead it was elusive and taunting. With a sigh, I pushed back the comforter and dragged myself to the bedroom door. I knew what I needed to do, but I was loath to actually do it. Facing TS in a more calm and rational state seemed a recipe for emotional disaster, but my mind was unrelenting in its playback of the night’s events, so I saw no other solution. I just wanted it all over and done with.

  Even I knew I couldn’t avoid TS forever.

  A minute later, I was standing on the rooftop. The moon’s light still cast an eerie glow over the Chicago skyline in the distance, creating a beautiful aura of silver blue light all around it. It framed TS perfectly, as if his body, standing near the far ledge, was the moon itself. For a moment, the reason I was up there with him was forgotten. All I could do was stare at the glorious image and try to breathe. I’d never seen anything so ethereal and stunning.

  Then he turned and pinned sad eyes on me, and the fantasy melted away.

  “Alek told me you were up here,” I said, still standing near the exit. TS said nothing in response. Instead, he turned those sad eyes back toward the rising sun, giving me his back and his silence. “I’m still mad at you…”

  “As you should be.” His tone was curt and stiff and tainted by the pain he felt at hurting me. It was clear in both his words and the wave of guilt that slammed into me, then vanished.

  “You did it to protect me—I get that. You told me before that Dad said to keep me safe at all costs. I guess I—”

  It was hard for me to share my feelings freely. I’d spent so much time stuffing them away and pretending I was fine; letting them out for someone else to see was both foreign and terrifying. Even TS, who’d never judged me or my actions. He understood me. Maybe that’s what made the way he’d treated me so hard to swallow.

  He said nothing, waiting for me to continue. His patience truly knew no bounds. Or maybe he saw it as penance for his deeds. Maybe Nico beating the shit out of him wasn’t enough to assuage his guilt.

  Maybe he needed me to take a round out of him too.

  “I met with a friend of mine tonight—told him the gist of what happened. He said that if Alejandro had claimed me, he would have had total control over me. Could say where I went…who I spent my time with. Possibly other things as well.” I paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. “You knew that could happen, didn’t you?”

  His head bobbed up and down once, a silent acknowledgment of what I’d both hoped and feared was true. Mad or not, I owed TS for what he’d done. Nyx had been right all along.

  “Does that mean that you…” I started, letting my thought and my words trail off.

  “I am not a wolf, Sapphira. Me claiming you is not the same—the magic is different with them. The intent combined with the act is what matters. But even if it weren’t, even if I were a wolf and the power to hold that claim on you were the same, I would have no desire to lord what I did over you. You should know me well enough by now to know that.”

  And I did. Funny how feeling like I’d been used had blinded me to that truth.

  I walked toward his unmoving form, his thin t-shirt rustling slightly in the breeze. I focused on its mesmerizing dance as I approached until I stood so close to him that I blocked the wind, stilling the light fabric.

  I hazarded a glance up at his stoic face, highlighted by the glorious sunrise. The bruises that my brother had painted on him had not yet faded. My chest tightened a bit at the sight.

  “Why haven’t you healed yourself? Or let Alek do it?”

  His face turned to me just enough to see the concern on mine.

  “I did not wish to waste my magic on that, and I didn’t think your brother would be in a charitable mood after what I did.”

  “Well Nico certainly isn’t, but Alek—”

  “Loves you more than you know. Just because he has always been the more serene of the two does not mean that there isn’t a storm brewing within him at times, begging to be let out. I think his wolf demonstrated that last night.”

  “Regardless, I know he’s not angry with you. You should ask him.”

  “I will be fine,” he said, tipping his chin up to meet the horizon.

  Silence.

  “Listen, the reason I came up here was because I couldn’t sleep. I don’t want to talk about this, but I think we have to—or at least I do.”

  “Say whatever you need to. I want to fix this as much as you do—fix us.”

  I took a deep breath and steeled my growing unease. I needed to do this. I needed to move past it.

  “Like I said, I understand why you did what you did—that you had no other choice. That’s not what’s bothering me. It’s how you behaved afterward…”

  He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, lifting his chin higher still until his face stared up at the heavens, asking them for grace or mercy or the patience to deal with my bruised feelings.

  “I need you to know that what happened in that bathroom—what was said and done—could not have been handled any other way. I know that won’t make any sense or make you feel better, but it’s the truth. I had no choice.”

  “You had to treat me like a whore?” I asked, anger spilling into my tone. “You had to dismiss me that way?”

  He dropped his gaze to meet mine, his eyes begging me to read between the lines of a book I didn’t own—couldn’t find.

  “Yes. I did. I swear to you on my life that I could not have done anything differently. I knew that I’d hurt you in the process, but your feelings come second to your life as far as I’m concerned. If I had to do it again I would, even knowing the outcome would be the same. Even if you hate me for eternity.”

  “I don’t understand—”

  “Because you can’t understand. I wish I could be the one to make you see what you cannot, but I’m unable to. For that, I’m sorrier than you can possibly imagine.” He paused for a moment, staring into my eyes as if he were looking for something that he feared had already died. “Do you still want me to leave? I can tell your father that I have chosen to go. That I wish to serve somewhere else.”

  “No,” I said softly, “I don’t really want you to go. I just want the truth behind why you had to do that.”

  “In this matter, it is the one thing I cannot give you. Not in the way you wish.”

  I turned away from him, the warring emotions swirling behind his eyes too much for me to handle. With my arms crossed over my stomach, I walked back toward the rooftop exit and wondered if I could ever fully accept the unspoken terms he’d laid out for me: forgive and move on without a satisfactory explanation of why he’d acted the way he had, or let this one incident create a wedge between me and the one person who had seen the worst in me and still stood by my side, ready to take a bullet for me—even when I deserved to be shot.

  “Sapphira—”

  “I’ll forgive you,” I said, looking back at him, “but only on one condition.”

  His body went stiff, a blast of fear emanating off him. “Name it.”

  “That you forgive yourself.” The tension dissipated from his muscles in an instant. “And get yourself healed up. I don’t want to see you like this anymore.”

  A tentative smile overtook his serious expression.

  “That’s two things.”

  “Really? You want to argue semantics right now? Or do you want to get the fuck downstairs and have Alek fix you up so I don’t hate you forever?” His smile widened as he walked toward me, a sense of urgency in his gait. He strode past me, opening the weathered door. “That’s more like it.”

  “I aim to please,” he said, holding it for me.

  “Good. Then get down there and tell Alek I said to heal you. I want to go to sleep and wake up without a single reminder that last ni
ght ever happened. Not even a splinter of wood from the furniture Nico smashed you with. Got it?”

  He nodded as I walked past.

  “As you wish.”

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  I was jarred from sleep shortly after my head hit the pillow. I opened my eyes to find Muses hovering over me. He pressed his index finger to his lips to keep me quiet, and once satisfied I’d comply, he waved me out of bed as he walked out of the room.

  I threw on clothes and silently crept to the main floor, wondering what the fuck was going on. Muses waited for me by the sliding door, looking anxious. It wasn’t until we were standing in the garage by one of the cars that he told me where we were headed.

  Alejandro’s.

  “Oh, don’t look so surprised, Sapphira. You are the reason we know he is the guilty party. I thought you might enjoy finding out the why behind it all firsthand.”

  I jumped into the car without a word.

  Muses’ laughter followed me in.

  But that laughter was short lived. As we drove through the city, headed for the penthouse apartment I’d been in only hours earlier, the tension in the car grew. Muses was uncharacteristically quiet—focused. I knew that taking Alejandro down would potentially start a shitstorm within the supernatural community, specifically the werewolves. Judging by the tension in Muses’ profile, that storm was likely to be far larger than I’d thought.

  “The Fates have been staking out the building and assure me that the party is over and everyone has cleared out. We need to do this quickly and quietly, Sapphira. Do you understand?”

  “Yeah, I got it.”

  “Good.”

  Silence fell heavy around us again until we rolled up next to Alejandro’s building and parked. We wasted no time making our way to the entrance. I looked back over my shoulder, doing a quick scan of the street to make sure no random wolves were lurking, and found someone else doing just that. Someone in a sedan I’d seen before, with a camera lens pointed in my direction.

  That one is proving problematic. Perhaps it’s time you pay Bowers another visit.