Stop thinking so much, Anna.
This kiss wasn’t about friendship and history and knowing each other inside and out.
The only thing that mattered was that this felt amazing. It worked. They worked. They were good together.
She wanted it, and he did, too.
She fisted her hands into his shirt and felt the warm, solid weight of his body against hers. He leaned into her, even closer, his hands moving across her back, down her to her hips, then sliding back up her sides and pushing against the weight of her breasts. He lingered there, liking it, she hoped. As if silently answering her, he shifted his body just enough to move his hands in so he could explore and caress.
He made a low, deep sound in his throat and she felt the vibration of it all the way through her own body, like fireworks on the Fourth of July or the rumble of a night train steaming its way through the heat of summer.
She wanted to live in that dark, rich sound; she wanted it to pick her up and carry her far away from every thought or intrusion of reality that might come between them.
But then, without warning the kiss ended. He pulled those delicious lips away. It was so abrupt it was disorienting, like soaring through the inky, starry sky one moment and then free-falling back down to earth the next.
“I’m so sorry.” He moved back, raking his hand through his hair, putting some distance between them.
“Why are you sorry? Don’t be sorry, Jake.”
“This wasn’t supposed to happen again,” he said. “I promised myself I wouldn’t kiss you again.”
“So you’ve been thinking about kissing me again?”
He nodded. “I haven’t been able to get those lips of yours out of my head.” He seemed a little subdued. Maybe even a bit contrite.
“It’s okay. It’s fine, really. Would it make a difference if I confessed that I was hoping you’d kiss me again?”
She just blurted out the words. It was only the truth, and why shouldn’t she tell him the truth?
Why? Well, she had a long list of why’s for not confessing this particular truth, but they didn’t matter right now.
“You deserve someone so much better than me, Anna.” He leaned back and seemed to be trying to put even more distance between them.
“I’ve never met anyone who treats me better than you do.”
He shook his head, looking so remorseful that it nearly broke her heart. “Believe me, you could do so much better. You should do better than me...than this. Especially after Hal.”
No. She wasn’t having any part of that.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Jake. Remember, I’ve had two years to work through my failed marriage. I didn’t rush right into dating the day after it happened. Not even the day I signed my divorce papers. It took you to get me back out into the world, albeit kicking and screaming, but I’m glad you nudged me out there.”
“Even though the two dates I’ve fixed you up on have been complete and utter failures?”
“That’s right. I sprained my wrist with the first guy and the other one married my sister’s friend. If I didn’t know you better, I’d think you were setting me up to fail. Is that what happened? Or was it leading me here?”
His right brow shot up. She loved the way he looked. It made her smile. He made her smile.
“I guess you have conquered your fear of getting back out there in the dating world.”
If not for him, she’d still be hiding away.
“And you’re the one who helped me do that,” she said. “You’ve reminded me that romance isn’t necessarily synonymous with pain. Thank you for that.”
“But God, what are we doing, Anna?”
“Jake, why won’t you let me in?”
There was a full moon tonight and the reflection of it rising over the water flickered in his eyes. He looked at her for a long moment and she could almost hear the jumbled thoughts churning in his head as he tried to put them in order.
“You’re such a good person, Anna.” He sounded preoccupied and she might’ve jumped to the conclusion that he was trying to let her down easy, but his expression and his body language told a completely different story. He was leaning in again. “You deserve someone equally as good.”
“Shut up.” She pressed her finger to his lips. “Don’t ruin this moment.”
His gaze, smoldering and intense and completely at odds with his protests, locked with hers.
“You just have to promise me one thing,” he said.
Running the pad of her index finger over his tempting bottom lip, her wrist rubbed against the sexy stubble on his cheeks. Her body reacted with a warming shiver. He opened his mouth and gently caught her finger between his teeth. Nipped at it and sucked on it for a moment.
It felt like she’d been waiting her entire life for this moment. Despite his words, he certainly didn’t seem to be in a hurry to get away. Yeah, he wasn’t going anywhere.
Not right now, at least.
“Anything,” she said.
She wasn’t going to let him tell her he wasn’t good enough for her.
She knew what she wanted, and he’d just slipped his arms around her again.
“No regrets,” he said.
“No regrets,” she answered. “But tell me something. How do you know that you’re not good for me—that we’re not good together—if we’ve never...tried it out?” She whispered the proposition inches from those lips of his, letting the promise tease his senses. “I’ll bet we could be very good...together. The only thing I’d regret is if I never knew for sure.”
He drew in a ragged breath and she scooted onto his lap, feeling the rock-solid proof of his interest underneath her.
“God, Anna, you’re killing me,” he murmured. His breath was hot and he seemed more than a little bothered by the way he adjusted the angle of his hips so that their bodies aligned through their clothing.
He murmured something under his breath, but it was lost when he closed his mouth over hers and kissed her with a hunger that had him deftly turning her body so that she was straddling him.
It felt perfect, and dangerous, and maddeningly, temptingly delicious, awakening in her a hunger that she feared she might have to satisfy right here on the dock—with the guests behind the trees, only a few yards away. All someone had to do was walk down the path and around the corner and they would be discovered. But she didn’t care. She wasn’t thinking of problems or reasons why not, or second-guessing her actions or his reactions. It just felt so darn right, and that was all she cared about.
That thought cut the line that tethered her to reality and she let herself drift out on the tide of his kiss.
A few minutes later—or maybe it was hours, who knew?—Jake’s phone rang. At first, he ignored it, but then it rang again.
“You’d better get that,” Anna murmured. “It sounds like someone is trying to get you.”
He wasn’t on call, but if there was a big emergency at the hospital, Jake would’ve been among the first to be notified. Still tingling with awareness, Anna eased herself off of Jake’s lap to give him some room. He fished his phone out of his pocket, but by the time he’d pulled it out, the phone signaled a voice mail.
“It’s a 504 area code. That’s New Orleans. Sorry, but I should pick up this message.”
“Of course,” she said.
As Jake listened to the voice mail, Anna watched his features contort into a mask of shock and disbelief. Then he stared at his phone for a moment before looking up at Anna.
“Is everything okay?” she asked.
He shook his head. “No. It’s not. Bob Gibson passed away this morning.”
Chapter Eight
Despite how strong Jake had tried to be, he’d ended up asking Anna, Emily and his brothers to tend to the guests while he stepped out for a few moments. Anna empathized with what he must’ve been feeling after receiving the news of Bob’s death. Even though Jake was no stranger to personal loss after the death of both his parents, it never got e
asier.
After the fireworks ended, the guests began saying their goodbyes and calling it a night. It was a Saturday, but some of them, including Anna, had to work tomorrow. After all, the hospital was open 24/7. It didn’t operate on bankers’ hours.
Since she had to work, Emily, Ty and Ben had offered to tend to the basic cleanup—gathering trash and extinguishing tiki torches and the fire pit so that Anna could go home and get some sleep.
Her lips still tingled from his kiss. She didn’t want to leave. She wanted to be there for Jake when he returned, but after thinking about it and weighing everything that had happened that night, she decided that maybe it was better to give him a little space. She’d call him tomorrow. Maybe ask him to go for a run after she got off work.
She was supposed to have Sunday dinner at her parents’ house. Maybe she’d see if he wanted to come along. Lord knew he’d spent more than a few Sundays at her family’s dinner table when they were growing up. Maybe going back to the comfort of the past would help him feel better.
The last thing she expected when she turned onto her street was to see his car in her driveway. But there he was, sitting in the car. It was almost eleven o’clock.
By the time she parked and let herself out of the car, he was standing there.
“How long have you been here?” she asked.
“Not too long,” he said. “I’m sorry I bolted. I needed to clear my head.”
She held up her hands. “No apologies needed. Come on in.”
He nodded.
Once they got inside, he sat down on the couch and she went to the refrigerator and got two beers.
“Are you okay?” she asked as she handed one to him and settled herself on the couch next to him.
He rested his hand on the back of the couch and stared up at the ceiling, looking thoughtful.
“It’s strange,” he said, “to think that Bob is gone. He was so alive last week.” Jake shook his head. “Being a doctor, you’d think I’d get used to the fact that people die and life goes on. But it never gets easier.”
“I guess that’s why it’s important to live in the moment and appreciate the people in your life while they’re there,” she said.
“You’re right. As I was driving around, I was thinking about what you said. About why I won’t let you in.” His voice was a hoarse rasp. “I don’t know why, but I want to try. I mean, your strength humbles me, Anna. I’ve been running from my monsters for so many years. You don’t run. You face your biggest terrors head-on. I don’t know if I can be that strong—but...” His voice trailed off.
“Jake, listen to me. You need to hear what I’m saying to you.” She cupped her hand under his chin and turned his face toward hers. Staring into his eyes, she said, “You’re a good man, Jake Lennox. You need to accept that and believe it.”
He caught her hand and brought it to his mouth, pressing a kiss into her palm. Then he slid an arm around her and closed the distance between them, brushing one light, hesitant kiss on her lips.
“This is different for me, Anna.” His lips were mere inches from hers. “You are different for me.”
“Are you saying that because you’re trying to seduce me?”
He was familiar, yet different, for her. They were picking up from where they’d left off on the dock, but at the same time, it felt brand-new. This was still Jake—the same big frame, the same dark hair setting off blue eyes as inviting as the Mediterranean. But he was changed. His body was tense; his face was flushed and way too serious. Desire laced with a little sadness colored his eyes a deeper shade of blue.
“I’m just picking up where we left off earlier. If that’s okay...?”
She rested her hand on his shoulder, not saying it wasn’t okay, but not giving him the green light either. Despite how she wanted to stop talking and just lose herself in him.
“Jake, I need to know... I know that this is different for us. But we can’t seem to keep our hands off each other. And that’s not a problem. It’s definitely not a problem. I just need to know... Really, it’s not. I just need to know...what are we doing?”
He looked her square in the eyes.
“I’m exactly where I want to be, Anna, and with the person I desire. Doesn’t that tell you what we’re doing...or what we’re about to do?” His lips were mere inches from hers. “I want to make love to you, Anna Adams. Tell me that you want that, too.”
“Oh, I want you, too, Jake. You have no idea.”
She kissed him, wanting to make sure there was absolutely no doubt in his mind exactly how okay it was.
Then he leaned in and closed the rest of the distance between them. Then they fell into a kiss, arms wrapped around each other; his hands trailing down her back to cup her bottom, her hands in his hair, desperately pulling him closer, both of them impatient and ravenous as they devoured each other.
* * *
Anna had unleashed a want in him that rendered him desperate for something he never knew he needed. This was exactly how he imagined her body would feel. Now, he was greedy for her, needing to know every inch of her, eager to bury himself deep inside her.
She took his hand and led him to the one place in her house he had never been—her bed. Her bedroom was feminine and fashionable. A king-size bed sported a blue-and-yellow bedspread, turned down over soft white cotton sheets. There was a dresser and matching nightstand that held a table lamp, but he didn’t turn it on after they stumbled into the room, clinging to each other as if their next breath depended on it.
How many nights since she’d been back in Celebration had he held her in his dreams, subconsciously breathing in her scent, taking possession of her body, loving her with his mind and his heart as he slept?
How was it that he was just admitting this to himself?
He unclipped her hair and dug his hands into the heavy auburn mass of it. Then he walked her backward until he could feel the bed behind her legs. As he eased her down onto the mattress, he buried his face in her hair, breathed in the scent of her—that delicious smell of flowers, vanilla and amber. A fragrance that was so intimate and familiar. Yet the newness of it hit him in a certain place that rendered him weak.
Smoothing a wisp of hair off her forehead, he kissed the place where it had lain; then he searched her eyes, needing to make sure she was still okay with this.
“Make love to me, Jake,” she answered before he could even say the words.
He inhaled a shuddering breath. As he pulled her into his arms, a fire ignited and he melted into the heat of her body. Relishing the warmth of her and the way she clung to him, he cradled her face in his palms and kissed her softly, hesitating, as he silently gave her one last chance to ask him to stop, to leave, to walk away from what was about to happen.
As if she sensed his hesitation, she pulled him into a long, slow kiss.
“Relax,” she said. “I won’t break. I promise. No regrets, Jake. Remember?”
For a moment, he looked at her in the dusk. The only light in the room was cast by a slim slice of light from the other part of the house and the glow of the full moon filtering in through the slanted blinds.
“Your lips drive me crazy,” he muttered. “They have since that night I first kissed you. How is it that we’ve known each other for so many years and it took all this time for me to realize this addiction? Now, I look at that bottom lip of yours and it just makes me crazy.”
He drew her lip into his mouth and she kissed him with urgency and demand as she tugged at his shirt, yanking it free from his pants. The move sent a rush spiraling through him. He felt the silk of her hands as they slipped under his shirt and up his back, turning his skin to gooseflesh. He couldn’t stifle a groan.
He pressed his lips to her collarbone, exploring the smooth, delicate ridge, and lingering over the hollow between her shoulder and throat. He stopped when he reached the top of her dress.
She made an impatient noise. So he found the hem of her skirt and began pulling it up, easing her body up
and slightly off the mattress so that he could rid them of one of the barriers that stood between them.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered as he eased it over her head.
She lay there in just her panties, since she hadn’t worn a bra beneath her sundress.
She tugged off his shirt. He sank back down beside her, tracing his fingertips down the slender column of her throat, splaying his hand to touch both beautiful breasts and then sliding it down to gently graze her stomach with his fingertips. When he reached the top edge of her panties, he slid his fingers beneath the silk to find her center. She gasped as his fingers opened her and slipped inside her. A rush of red-hot need spiraled through him and he nearly came undone with her as he watched her go over the edge.
As he slid her panties down, it was as if she sensed his own need. She made haste of unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his jeans. Before he tossed his pants away, he pulled a condom from his wallet and sheathed himself. When they were finally free of the last barrier between them, his arms encircled her. He held her so close he could hear her heart beat. He shut out everything else but that sound and the need that was driving him to the brink of insanity.
All he wanted was her.
Right here. Right now.
Not the past.
Not the future.
The present.
Right here. Right now.
She pulled him even closer so that the tip of his hardness pressed into her. He urged her legs apart and buried himself inside her with a deep thrust.
As his own moan escaped his lips, his gaze was locked on hers. He slid his hands beneath her bottom, helping her match his moves in and out of her body until they both exploded together.
He held her close, both of them clinging to each other as the aftershocks of their lovemaking gradually faded. As they lay there together, sweaty and spent, Jake was still reveling in the smoothness of her skin, the passion in her eyes, the way they’d fit together so perfectly... She took his breath away. What they had right now was damn near perfect. And if it weren’t for the fact that it scared him to death, he might’ve felt like he’d come home.
How to Marry a Doctor (Celebrations, Inc.) Page 10
