Christmas Haven

by Hope White

  “What are you—”

  Henson raced across the dock and grabbed her arm, dragging her toward the boat. “William!”

  He flanked her other side. “If you’d just given Dane the locket…”

  “Why do you need the locket?”

  “Get her into the boat,” Henson said.

  “Henson!” a man called from behind them.

  They spun around. Morgan stood at the other end of the pier, exposed, pointing his firearm at them.

  “Put the gun down,” Henson threatened, pressing the barrel of his gun to Julie’s temple.

  Clenching his jaw, Morgan slowly lowered his firearm.

  “Morgan, no!”

  A shot rang out as William flung Julie into the boat and jumped in next to her.

  Morgan had figured it out, he’d come for her.

  Henson sped away. The thought of him shooting Morgan arced panic through her chest. Julie realized the farther from land they went, the bigger the chance they were going to shoot her and dump her body. She whipped out the pepper spray and shot at William’s eyes. He jumped up.

  “Ahhh!”

  Henson glanced over his shoulder. “What the—”

  Julie fired at Henson, but he deflected the spray. She shoved a blinded William into Henson’s back and dived into the frigid water. Shock flooded her body as she struggled against the weight of her clothes.

  She was an excellent swimmer, but in these cold waters she had about a minute before her limbs grew numb, even with two layers of clothes.

  A muffled shot rang out. Were they shooting at her? She couldn’t think about that. She had to get back to the pier.

  Back to Morgan.

  She fought back the panic swallowing her as surely as the frigid harbor waters. She wasn’t ready to leave this earth yet. She had more teenagers to help—to save.

  I’m not done, Lord.

  Fighting the cold and her tightening muscles, she stroked the best she could. One, two, three.

  Keep going, she coached herself. But her clothes were dragging her down and her arms felt as if they were cutting through cement.

  One, two…

  Her arms cramped. She could barely reach out. She took a deep breath and let go. Drifted. Floated. Gunfire echoed across the water. She couldn’t tell if she’d been shot, her skin ice-cold, numb.

  The water swallowed her, pulling her down, down…

  This must be how Suzy had felt just before she’d died. Julie struggled against her own surrender. As she searched for hope, her mind flooded with despair.

  Suddenly someone grabbed her, pulling her up, breaking through the water’s surface.

  “I got you, Jules.”

  She looked up at the bright morning sky. Then a voice said, “Stay with me. Don’t you dare give up.”

  Morgan.

  She closed her eyes and drank in the sound of his voice. Her love. The man who owned a part of her heart.

  And she fell unconscious.

  The past few hours had been a blur, Julie realized as she sat on Morgan’s couch being tended by her mom, Lana and Morgan. Mom kept adjusting her blankets, adding more, tucking them in just so. Lana rubbed Julie’s leg, and Morgan brought her a cup of hot tea.

  “I’m okay, really,” Julie said. The fact that she didn’t remember what had happened after Morgan rescued her bothered her a bit.

  “The doctor said to rest and drink plenty of fluids,” her mom said.

  “You know what I could use?” Julie said.

  The three of them waited. “Chocolate-chip-bacon cookies.”

  Mom smiled and stood. “Coming right up. Lana, come help me.”

  They went into the kitchen and Morgan sat on the coffee table. “Green mango, your favorite.” He offered her the tea.

  “Thanks.” She took it, their hands touching.

  She wanted to put the tea down and hold his hand, soak up his warmth, but he pulled away a little too quickly.

  “So fill me in,” she said.

  “Where do I start?” he sighed.

  By telling me you love me?

  “Dynacorp was behind this whole thing. Apparently Andy put the drug powder into the locket he gave you, which was proof they were into something illegal.”

  “Which was what, exactly?”

  “The drug they were trying out is a synthetic meant to get you high. It’s very expensive, marketed to white-collar professionals. But they had to test it out first to determine the side effects. Who better to test it on than street kids who wouldn’t be missed if they died?”

  “Dane tried to steal it from me.”

  “Because Henson said to get the locket and bring it to him or he’d kill you.”

  “What about my files?”

  “They needed to destroy evidence of any kids involved in the testing. Those kids happened to be in your caseload.”

  “So this whole time they wanted my files and my locket?”

  “Yep. Ethan and the DEA are making their case. Henson was arrested.” He paused. “As was William.”

  “I can’t believe he was involved.”

  “It was a big payoff for a guy making forty grand a year. He’d feed kids to Henson for testing. When Andy called from William’s office, William was using him to expose your location. And the other night when William spoke with Dane on the phone?”

  She nodded.

  “He told Dane to get the locket. That’s why Dane threatened you.”

  “But he couldn’t hurt me.”

  “No, he’s a good kid. There might be a spot for him at Horizon Farms once that gets off the ground.”

  “That would be amazing.”

  “Yes, it would.”

  “What about Helen and the mysterious deposits in her bank account?”

  “A gift from an elderly aunt who passed away. She only kept cash.”

  “Oh.”

  A moment of silence passed between them. Julie wished she could get into Morgan’s head and know what he was thinking.

  “Now I have a question for you,” Morgan said.

  “Sure.”

  “Why didn’t you ask for my help when you got the call from Henson?”

  “Because he threatened to kill you if I didn’t come alone.”

  “You were trying to protect me?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “You sure it’s not something else?”

  “Like what?”

  “That you didn’t think I could protect you?”

  “Morgan—”

  “It’s okay, Jules, I get it. I’m just a small-town cop.”

  And not good enough for Jules. She knew that was his secret fear, even when they’d dated. Shame colored his eyes and she hated that she put it there.

  She knew every time he looked at her he’d see his own failure, even though he’d saved her life.

  She loved Morgan with all her heart, but couldn’t bear to see the pain in his eyes, his self-perceived failure.

  “What’s next on your agenda?” he said. “Now that you’re safe?”

  “Haven’t given it much thought. I guess I should probably return to Seattle.”

  “The kids need you.”

  “Yes.”

  He nodded, glancing into the coffee cup he clutched between his hands. “Well, you know what’s best.”

  Leaving me, she heard. How many times would she hurt this man? She had to do the right thing and walk away, for good this time. Release him into the arms of a sweet woman like Anna.

  “What will you do?” she said.

  “Finish up the house, sell it.”

  But that’s not what she was asking.

  “How’s your dad?”

  “As well as can be expected. They’re moving him to a facility where he’ll get twenty-four-hour care. He wants me to sell the house to help pay for it.”

  “And your job as police chief?”

  “I need to think about that.”

  Her heart sank. He was an amazing chief, but was questioning
his own abilities because of her.

  “You belong here,” she said.

  “And you don’t, I know. We don’t have to go through this again.”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  Mom breezed into the room and brought Julie the phone. “You’ve got a call.”

  “Could you take a message?” she said, not taking her eyes off Morgan.

  “I’d better check in.” He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. “Be well.”

  Morgan turned his back on Julie and left. She stared at the spot where he’d just been sitting, regret tearing through her.

  “Honey?” Mom said, offering the phone.

  Julie took it. “Hello?”

  “Julie, it’s Joe, with Horizon Farms. How are you feeling?”

  “Tired.” Devastated.

  “Well, before you head back to Seattle, I was wondering if you’d have time to talk about the farm. I could use some more advice.”

  “Sure, can I call you tomorrow?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Thanks.”

  She handed Mom the phone and leaned against the pillows. It probably wasn’t a bad idea to distract herself by helping others. At least she’d feel competent at one thing, because she surely felt incompetent at love.

  “Sweetie—” Mom shifted onto the coffee table “—what’s happening between you and Morgan?”

  “Nothing.”

  “But he loves you so.”

  “And I love him. Which is why I have to leave.”

  EIGHTEEN

  A week later Morgan sat across from Sketch at the Turnstyle, going over Sketch’s business plan. The community had rallied behind Morgan to step back into the chief role, but he was taking his time, needing to reevaluate his life, his future.

  Reevaluate? More like spin in circles. Without Julie in his life, he felt anything but grounded. He fought the darkness, the grief of losing the woman he loved. But she’d chosen to leave again, and he couldn’t blame her, not when he’d let her down. He could see it in her eyes.

  “You’re an idiot.”

  Morgan glanced up at Sketch. “What did you say?”

  “You heard me.”

  “I could arrest you for that.”

  “You’re not chief, remember?”

  “I’m still an officer of the law.”

  “And an idiot.”

  “Where’s this coming from?”

  “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. That’s you.”

  “Still not getting it.”

  “You let her go again? What’s wrong with you?”

  “She chose to leave.”

  “Ashley says because she loves you too much.”

  “That makes no sense.”

  “No? Lana told her that Julie left because she thought it was best for you, that she’s bad for you.”

  “She left because she knew I wasn’t good enough.” Morgan couldn’t believe he’d uttered the words to a teenager.

  “An idiot narcissist.” Sketch shook his head and tapped at his keyboard.

  “Look, I love her, but I don’t want to keep her someplace where she’s not happy. So I let her go.”

  “Great, yeah, you love her so much you let her go. She loves you so much she left. You guys are the definition of dysfunctional.”

  “What makes you so smart about relationships?”

  Sketch pinned him with intense blue eyes. “I watch people. A lot. I’ve also been taking psych classes online. You want my opinion?”

  “Not particularly.”

  “Tough.”

  “I can see why you got kicked out of school.”

  Sketch ignored the immature comment. “You’re making this all about you—‘Julie doesn’t have faith in me, I couldn’t protect her, she’s better than me.’ Get over yourself. You kept her safe in your dad’s house for a week, saved her from drowning and got her interested in God again.”

  “What?”

  “That’s what Lana said, that Julie’s talking about going to church. What I don’t get is why you’re so dense. She loves you, you love her. What’s the problem?”

  “It’s more complicated than that.”

  “No, it really isn’t. And love isn’t something you just throw away because it’s hard.”

  “Kid, I appreciate the counseling session, but I’m a bit older than you and have a little more life experience about these things.”

  Sketch got out of the booth and grabbed his laptop. “That’s right, put me down ’cause I’m a kid. Great defense mechanism.” He started to walk away.

  “Hey, I didn’t mean—”

  Sketch turned to him. “Love is a gift, dude. You keep throwing it away like a used paper towel because your ego can’t take the hit, or you’re scared, I dunno. When are you gonna grow up and stop being a coward?”

  Sketch stormed out of the restaurant, leaving Morgan speechless. He’d planned to fight for Julie this time, but hadn’t had it in him after seeing the look of pity in her eyes. Or had it been something else?

  He reached into his pocket for spare bills to cover his and Sketch’s coffees. Instead, he pulled out a folded piece of paper. Julie’s note.

  He was tempted to toss it into the trash on his way out.

  When are you going to grow up and stop being a coward?

  Was the kid right? Was Morgan still clinging to the past? He’d accused Julie of running, but wasn’t that exactly what he was doing? Running from himself? From their love?

  He slowly opened the note and read:

  Morgan, please know I love you with all my heart. Always have. Always will.

  Love, Julie

  He folded it and glanced out the window, wondering how he could have been so blind. To his own faults, to Julie’s love. He’d accused her of taking responsibility for everyone else’s decisions, yet he was giving up on their love because he was afraid he wasn’t good enough?

  “You’re right, kid,” he muttered. “Time to grow up.”

  He left the restaurant and went to find Lana. He needed help, and fast.

  One good thing Julie had learned from the tumultuous week in Port Whisper was to take care of herself. Morgan had pointed out that she hadn’t taken a vacation in years. No time like the present.

  She pulled into a parking spot at Friday Harbor and sighed. Lana had convinced her to start her getaway with a tour of the San Juan Islands. She’d even made the reservation on a friend’s boat.

  Julie had booked a few nights in a cozy bed-and-breakfast where she could relax. The Inn was primed for the holidays with fresh evergreen swags stretched across the fireplace mantel, white lights and gold ornaments decorating a Christmas tree in the corner of the living room, and the aroma of hot cider filling the house. Julie struggled to embrace the Christmas spirit, but her heavy heart fought back her joy.

  After her weekend in Friday Harbor, she was thinking about visiting a warm climate. She was making up for lost time.

  Helen had been surprisingly gracious when Julie had given her notice. She still wanted to work with kids, but realized she was burned out, and not as effective as she could be when counseling them.

  She had enough money saved up to support herself for six months, and if she got into trouble she could always go back home.

  She got out of the car and leaned against it, eyeing the harbor. No, she couldn’t go back home, it wouldn’t be fair to Morgan. She’d be a constant reminder of his failure. She wouldn’t do that to him.

  As she ambled toward the dock, Julie hoped she could muster the strength to be pleasant to her host. Some days she could barely bring herself to smile. There would be other tourists on board, so she shouldn’t have to work too hard. She could just lean back, relax and enjoy the scenery.

  While in town she’d start her Christmas shopping for Mom and Lana. Somehow Christmas didn’t feel all that joyous this year without Morgan.

  She approached the tour boat, the Susanna, decorated in Christmas red, green and
white lights. A part of her wanted to turn and walk away, but she forged ahead. It would be good to distract herself, to think about something else for a while, something other than her broken heart.

  “Hello?” she called out.

  “Come on aboard,” a male voice answered from the cabin below.

  She carefully climbed over the edge and waited for her tour guide. As she glanced across the channel, she appreciated that the waters were calm today. She should be frightened of the water after what she’d been through, but she’d made a deal with herself that she wouldn’t let the Dynacorp criminals ruin the things she’d previously loved: the water, sunrises…

  Morgan. Ugh. How long would it take to get over this? To mend the hole in her heart?

  “Jules?”

  She spun around and gasped at the sight of Morgan, stepping out of the cabin.

  “I’m that scary, huh?” he joked.

  “You’re here.”

  He took her hand and pulled her against his chest. “Sweetheart, I’ll be wherever you are. Always.”

  She clung to him for a second, then broke the embrace. “I don’t understand.”

  “I’m an idiot. Sketch said so.”

  “I… But…”

  “Shh.” He pressed his forefinger to her lips and hugged her again.

  “I heard you quit your job,” he said. “What will you do?”

  “Not sure yet.”

  “How about coming back to Port Whisper and helping them start up Horizon Farms?”

  “You heard Joe offered me a job?”

  “I did, and that you turned him down.”

  She looked into his eyes. “I thought every time you’d see me you’d be reminded of what you perceived as your own failure.”

  “Yeah, Sketch pointed out that’s a little narcissistic on my part.” He led her into the enclosed section of the boat and motioned for her to sit down.

  “Where is everybody?” she asked, looking around.

  “It’s just us. Your sister set it up.”

  “Figures.” She smiled.

  Morgan shifted beside her and pulled a box out of his pocket. “I have an early Christmas present for you.”

  Still in shock, she couldn’t speak. She opened the box. A beautiful silver locket in the shape of the sun shined back at her.