The Decimation of Mae (The Blue Butterfly)

by Sidebottom, D H

  “I’m sorry, I don’t follow.”

  His hand tightened slightly as though he was praising me with a squeeze. None of his actions were what I would class as normal, but then who was, really? “Your refusal to give your boyfriend what he’s after. It shows your strength, Mae. It tells me a lot about you.”

  “Oh really?” I wasn’t sure if I was offended by his assessment of me or glad of his appraisal. I blinked as I tried to figure him out but it was impossible. Part of me wanted to know everything about him, and wanted him to know everything about me yet another part warned me off, alerted my senses to something that didn’t fit right.

  “Yes. A lot of girls your age lose what they are all about too early. They have no respect for themselves, but they expect others to value them. I’m afraid when that step is taken, you will never get it back and because of that you must treat it as something priceless and precious. Something irreplaceable.”

  “I suppose. I’ve always seen my virginity as something to hold on to. The last piece of me, if you get me?”

  Why the hell were we talking about my virginity? I hardly knew the guy but his presence, his dominance, expected it. But why I was allowing his authority to control me and the conversation was beyond me.

  “So, Mae, tell me about yourself.”

  “There’s nothing to tell.” I smiled and relaxed as the conversation veered into safer territory.

  “Oh, I don’t believe that. You seem full of life. You must have a few stories to tell.”

  “Nope.”

  He narrowed his eyes on me and gave me a small smirk. “Okay, I’ll take a guess then. I’m an expert at reading people.”

  I lowered my face and smiled at my feet. He really thought he knew it all, knew me. He’d need a crystal ball to take a guess at my life.

  “I think,” he started, “I think you were born eighteen years ago.”

  I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Wow, you’re good.”

  He nodded. “See? An expert.”

  “That you are. What else do your super powers tell you?”

  “Well, I think you’re naturally black but dye your hair blonde.”

  “Very good.” I smiled when I remembered my roots needed doing.

  “You’re into rock music,” he offered. I gave him a nod as I glanced down at my Guns ‘n Roses T-shirt.

  “You’re…” His eyes raked over my body. A shiver wrapped around me when he lifted his eyes back up and exposed a heat that no one had ever displayed before. My chest heaved as his tongue swept his bottom lip slowly. “Very beautiful.”

  I turned my face away from him to smile as a deep blush crept up my neck and flooded my cheeks. “You’re also very shy,” he added with a laugh.

  “Not usually.” I turned back to him. “But you’re very forward.”

  He shook his head in disbelief. “I’m forward for telling you that you’re beautiful?”

  “Well…”

  “Has anyone ever told you that you’re beautiful before, Mae?”

  “Will you stop! My face is on fire.”

  He laughed deeply, his eyes coming to life with the happy rumble. “And it makes you even more stunning,” he whispered as he leant into my ear.

  I blew out a slow, steady breath when his closeness seemed to ignite the fire from my face around my body. Heat rippled across every inch of my skin as his low whisper developed a need inside me that demanded attention.

  “Oh,” I stuttered. “This is me.”

  He frowned in confusion then blinked and moved back, his head turning to my apartment block when he realised I meant my home. “Already?” he whispered, his eyes raking over the building. His tone screamed disappointment and he grimaced at the sight of the weather worn paint and crumbling brickwork.

  He turned back to me and took my hand into his, his thumb stroking softly across my knuckles. “I’m not sure I like you living here. It doesn’t look… safe.”

  I laughed at him and shook my head. Once again, his forwardness amused me. “I’ve been here for two years, Daniel. I can guarantee I’m as safe here as anywhere else.”

  He shook his head and flicked another glance towards my home. “It looks like it would collapse if you sneezed.”

  “Then I’ll make sure not to sneeze while I’m on the loo. I’d be mortified if they found me with my knickers around my ankles, still sat on the toilet.”

  His head snapped to the side and his eyes widened. I winked at him as I took to the entrance path. “Goodbye, Daniel. Thank you for bringing me home.”

  It occurred to me that he was the only man ever to have made sure I got home safe. Liam was usually passed out on the floor when I left his, and any previous date I’d had never bothered once they found out I didn’t want sex.

  “Mae!” he shouted as I pushed open the entrance door. He jogged up the path to me and I couldn’t help sighing in appreciation at the way his chest moved under the material of his shirt, making my stomach flutter with excitement.

  Shit! Down, you damn hormones!

  He reached me and smiled, a small blush covering his cheeks. I couldn’t help but smile back at his nervousness. “I uhh…” He swallowed and I had to hold back the ‘aww’ I wanted to voice at his anxiety. “I would really like to take you to dinner, Mae. If… if that would be okay?”

  Dinner? Who the fuck said dinner nowadays?

  “In fact, even better, I’d like you to sample my salmon linguine.”

  I couldn’t help but beam at him. He was really trying hard to steal that little something, his eagerness and hope fluttered across his features. “I’d like that very much, thank you.”

  He exhaled heavily and returned my wide smile. “Brilliant.”

  I chuckled as his face lit up like a school boy’s on snow days. I nodded as I pushed at the door again but he remained frozen to the spot as if his nerves had rendered him immobile. “Okay?”

  “Yep.” He grinned back as he shook his head and walked away. “Oh, uhh, I’ll pick you up at seven, is that okay?”

  “Perfect.”

  “Okay.” He grinned again, causing me to laugh loudly. “Right, tomorrow at seven.” He nodded as if confirming it to himself before he disappeared around the corner of the street.

  I smiled to myself as I pushed through the door, and then cringed as the smell of piss and weed assaulted my nostrils. I sighed, suddenly wishing the place would collapse; it would make it a damn sight prettier.

  ~~~

  I huffed as I changed into my fourth outfit. The red off-the-shoulder top and tight jeans staring back at me in the mirror screamed slut and I didn’t want to give him the wrong idea, although I had needed to tell myself that same statement over the last hour. My nerves were wrecked which was highly unusual for me, but there was something about Daniel that made my blood heat and my belly clench. He was just male rawness but had such a sweet side that made my heart beat a little quicker.

  I narrowed my eyes at myself as I chastised my thoughts. A car door slammed outside and I ran to the window, pulling back the netting. Daniel climbed from a sleek car and smiled up at me staring through the window.

  Shit, I didn’t want him to enter the foyer; the smell would knock him out before I got to taste those lips.

  For Christ’s sake, Mae!

  I cursed myself, now not having the time to change my slutty top, and snatched up my bag before bounding down the stairs.

  As I pushed open the outside door, Daniel gasped and widened his eyes in shock at my sudden appearance. “Holy shit.” He chuckled when he noticed my panting. “You’re more eager than me.”

  “I’m just starving.” I took his elbow and led him away from the building.

  He nodded and opened his passenger door for me to slide in. “It’s a good job I have everything prepared then.” He walked around the car and climbed in beside me. “We wouldn’t want you to be hungry for too long,” he whispered as he leaned across the car and brushed at a feral strand of hair on top of my head.

&n
bsp; My breath stuttered at the way he said hungry. “No,” I said simply as I pulled on my seat belt.

  I saw him smirk from the corner of my eye as he pulled away.

  We were quiet for the journey but I gasped as he pulled up to some huge gates and stabbed a code into a numbered keypad. He seemed angry as he fingered his frustration on the pad; his annoyance making him hit the wrong numbers and causing him to repeat the code three times. “Is everything okay?”

  He paused before turning to me, as though he was planting a smile on his face before turning around. “I’m fine, just a little nervous.”

  His openness squeezed at my heart and I placed my hand on his arm, appreciating the hard muscle beneath my touch. “Don’t be nervous, it’s just me.” I leaned a little further into him. “And I’ll eat anything.”

  My eyes widened when I realised how brazen I was being. Daniel’s eyes seemed to liquefy before me, the deep brown morphing into a pool of black marble. His teeth nipped at his lips, moistening them until they glistened.

  We both blinked when the gates swung open but he remained stock-still, watching me. I wasn’t sure if he was angry, horny or just wary. I suddenly wished I could read him better as my nerves flipped a little.

  “I presume by that you mean salmon, Mae?”

  He seemed to be reprimanding me, scolding me for my audacious comment. I dropped my eyes and swallowed but gave him a nod.

  He laughed, taking hold of my hand. “Relax, I’m just teasing you.”

  I forced a smile and nodded back to him, however there was still a darkness in his eyes that told me very clearly that he hadn’t been teasing at all, in fact, far from it.

  He smiled again before he let go of my hand and pulled the car up the large gravelled driveway.

  “This is just… Wow!” I stuttered. All earlier apprehension disappeared with the beauty welcoming me to Daniel’s home. “You live here?”

  “Yes. I wouldn’t be bringing you here if I didn’t, would I?”

  Okay, now I was starting to get a little wary of him. Was he calling me stupid or was he just teasing again?

  I glanced at him cautiously but rolled my eyes when he winked at me. “You have a weird sense of humour.” I smiled. “You take some getting used to, sorry.”

  He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I’ll try to remember you don’t know me well. All my friends are used to my dryness. It’s just that…”

  “It’s just what?”

  His cheeks flamed brightly as he dropped his eyes to his lap. “Well, it’s weird but I feel like I’ve known you for ages, as though we’re already friends and you get me.”

  He could be so sweet that all my nerves vanished and I smiled at him before climbing from the car. “Just… wow. Your home is stunning.”

  He didn’t answer as he ran up the few steps to the front door. I skimmed my eyes across the lush green garden. It was immaculate; the landscaping took my breath away with the vast array of colours and beautifully shaped shrubs.

  The house was maybe a couple of decades old, most definitely modern. The exterior walls were whitewashed but very well maintained and the many windows were all adorned with shutters to give the illusion of a tropical sanctuary.

  I reached Daniel on the porch, my eyes still drinking in the grandeur of my surroundings. He cursed under his breath as he flicked through an immense amount of keys on a key-ring. He tried three keys, each time huffing loudly when he rammed another key into the lock that didn’t house any of his choices. He finally found the correct one and the door swung open.

  He turned to look at me sheepishly. “Sorry. I had the locks changed yesterday and I’m still struggling to find the right key.”

  He didn’t wait for me to answer as he stepped into the hallway. I followed him, somewhat timidly as my eyes widened on the interior. “Holy shit!”

  Daniel’s head snapped round.

  “Sorry.”

  “I would prefer it if you didn’t use such language, Mae.”

  I swallowed back a laugh. Shit, this man had no clue who I was. I could curse and drink with the sailors on the high seas. Hell, even pirates would welcome me into their fold after spending an hour drinking with me.

  His face showed every inch of his disgust and I cringed, the laugh dying in my throat. He stepped towards me, his hand reaching my shoulder before his fingers softly stroked the curve between my neck and shoulder blade. “You are an exquisite, feminine creature, Mae. You should really refrain from trying to hide that side of you.”

  Okay. What the fuck?

  I suddenly didn’t want to be there, small bubbles of fear were causing dots of sweat to break over my skin. It wasn’t just Daniel’s intense dialogue that made me wary but his whole demeanour. The way his eyes fired as they narrowed on me, the way his back stiffened so straight I was concerned for his posture, and the way his teeth gnawed savagely at his lower lip like he was struggling to keep his anger under control.

  “Uhh, sorry. That’s just me, Daniel.” His fingers caused me to shiver as they trailed along my bare shoulder where my top had drooped over the top of my arm. “M...maybe…” I hated that I had started to stutter, I wanted to assert confidence. “Maybe we could take a walk through t...the gardens. They look so beautiful.”

  Oh Christ.

  A tiny moan rumbled up my throat when Daniel’s lips brushed across the curve of my shoulder. An intense heat shimmied up my legs from my toes and crashed into my womb with a raw power I had never experienced before.

  I jumped a mile when the door slammed shut behind me.

  “But why, Mae?” He leaned back until his eyes were on my face again. “You obviously came here to be fucked. That top you’re wearing screams that you are hoping it gets ripped the fuck off you tonight.”

  My knees wobbled. It wasn’t just his words; they weren’t said as though to a lover in a passionate moment. They were filled with revulsion and aggression.

  “The way your jeans display the tight contours of your backside.” He sneered as I took a step back and he took one forward. “You are flaunting your curves, Mae. You wanted to look hot for me so I would fuck you, didn’t you?”

  I took another step back as his face contorted angrily. His lip curled at the corner with his abhorrence, his eyes darkened as hatred reflected back at me. “DIDN’T YOU?”

  I shook my head as I continued to move backwards, but he kept coming. He kept placing one foot in front of the other, he kept the threatening sneer on his face, and he kept his gaze full of ire.

  I knew then, before I took another step that that night… I would lose something I had struggled to hold onto for so long. Something that was going to be taken from me even if I tried with everything I had to hold on tight.

  But I wouldn’t go down without a fight.

  I spun round and within milliseconds soaked up my surroundings then headed for the patio doors situated on the rear wall of the room. He was right behind me, his loud, sinister laugh eating up the air around me as I retained whatever my lungs held and converted the oxygen to adrenaline.

  “Oh, Mae.” He tutted as I yanked at the door, cursing when it remained lodged in the framework. “You underestimate me.”

  I shot off to the right and headed down a long corridor; doors appeared left and right but I bypassed them, knowing they would just be rooms he could trap me in. The hallway veered off to the left and I slid around the corner, hissing at the sharp pain that burst in my calf and fired needles through my leg. “Fuck!” My leg gave way and I jolted, causing me to lose a few yards gap between us.

  “Oh, I love a chase,” he sniggered when he’d almost caught up with me.

  I fisted a door at the end of the hall. To my utter surprise it popped open and I surged forward.

  A huge pool greeted me but I didn’t have chance to appreciate its tranquillity. All I saw were the doors to the garden at the other side of the room.

  “Keep running, Mae. You have a rare spirit that I rather like,” he mocked as he gained on
me, his words driving more determination in me to win this stupid fucking game. I couldn’t let him win. I wouldn’t let him win.

  I cheered inwardly as I reached the door and it opened, the gust of night air hitting my face and clinging to the sweat that poured from me. The outside world had never looked so fucking heartening and the adrenaline rushing through my veins doubled as I pushed harder and charged forward.

  You know afterwards, when you replay things over in your mind? Well for me, for the next three years, all I could concentrate on was the twisted muscle in my calf that had slowed me down. All I could tell myself for three years was, if I hadn’t slid around the corner, if I had taken it at a practical speed and not acted like a fucking athlete at the Olympics, then maybe, just maybe I would have gotten away that night with my virginity intact.

  I remember the sinking in my heart, the dread that slithered through every fibre in me when his hand snatched at my hair and I was slung around so forcefully I slid along the tiled floor a few feet and came to rest at the edge of the pool.

  I scrambled around and pushed myself to all fours. A loud scream burst from me when Daniel’s shoe connected with the base of my spine and the most torturous pain fired up my vertebrae. “So pointless, little lamb. Why fight it? I know you will be wet when I take you.”

  Through the humiliation, the pain, the dread and the fear, it was his little pet name that gave me the sickening feeling. As he slid his foot up my back, the reality of what he was came at me like a lightning bolt, illuminating the foolish parts of my brain and allowing me to see the full picture clearly. He was a professional. The small blushes as he had played with my compassionate side, the soft smiles as he had appealed to my sensual side and the knight in shining armour act that had guaranteed my trust.

  “Please don’t do this.” I hated myself for begging, for giving this sick bastard what he would expect but I couldn’t help it. It was human nature, defensive instinct to plead with someone’s humanity.

  “Get up.”

  I ignored him, choosing to bury myself further into the cold ceramic floor. Chlorine from the pool assaulted my nostrils, making my eyes water and my lungs hiss with the chemical rush.