by Erin Raegan
He shook his head, smiling. “Jeremy gave me ample warning.”
I snorted. “And you still wanted to go with me?”
Killian frowned and turned me to face him at the door. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“I don’t know. Some friend I am. I made you uncomfortable then almost ruined the entire night.”
Killian pinched my jaw lightly and tilted it up to face him. There was a pained look on his face. “You’re making this very difficult.”
“Sorry.” I winced, sheepish. It wasn’t fair to keep bringing it up. Plus it more than likely made me look like a desperate clinger.
“I’m leaving, sweets,” he said low. “I can’t stay.”
I forced a weak laugh. “I know. This place will eventually get pretty boring for you after everywhere you’ve traveled.”
His frown deepened.
I groaned and rolled my eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m just tired.”
I shrugged off his hand and turned to unlock the door. Bets and Sal would be back and in bed by now. They barely stayed long after their cupcakes were gone every year. The door creaked open and I kicked off my shoes in the front hall.
Killian kicked off his shoes beside mine, my eyes fixed on the larger black boots next to my much smaller white sneakers. A cool spike moved up my spine as I stared at them, my fingers tingling.
“We’re friends, right?” I asked almost desperately. My eyes locked on our shoes lined up together. So different in size and shape. But somehow they looked like they belonged there together.
I looked up.
Killian’s eyes shined in the dark as they met mine.
“I mean even after you leave, we’ll always be friends, right? I can call you and maybe you’ll visit?” I asked.
I had become far too attached to this man, and the thought of him walking out of my life and never seeing him again made me desperate for promises I had no right to ask for.
But I couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t ever want the last thing I saw of Killian to be his back. I always wanted to look for him, to see him coming toward me. To expect and anticipate seeing him again. That he didn’t feel the same—just the chance that he might not—was so painful, my eyes watered.
“I’m going to travel soon. One day. I mean, I have money saved up, and once Uncle Sal gets more help at the salvage yard, I think I can take a few months to travel,” I rambled anxiously. “Aunt Bets is always talking about the different teas I can try and send back for her, and I know Uncle Sal’s already put out a few ads in the paper for more help.” I couldn’t make the word vomit stop. “Maybe I can call you when I’m ready and I can meet you wherever you are? I could help you look for antiques or whatever. Maybe we could go—”
Killian stepped so close to me, my chest bumped into his and he placed three fingers over my mouth. It was hard, but I swallowed the rest of my words, forcing them down with the lump in my throat. His eyes roamed my face. The regret and indecision on his face was so stark, tears spilled down my face.
I couldn’t face another rejection tonight. I physically and mentally couldn’t handle it, not from this man, but I had thrown my words at him anyway. Desperately trying to cling onto him.
This embarrassing moment was my fault. Still, I was compelled to keep trying.
He was the first man I’d ever wanted to hold onto after a life of being left behind and rejected by everyone but my aunt and uncle. Killian didn’t deserve me clinging to him. He hadn’t signed up for that.
Not for my heart to latch onto him and refuse to let go.
I should turn away, walk away from him. Maybe stay at Abby’s place until he left. If I left now, it might save me from an even bigger heartbreak. It hurt so much already. How much worse would it be a day from now? Two? This pain was terrible and he hadn’t even kiss—
His warm lips latched onto mine with force, pushing me back into the wall as his hands came around my face to hold it still. I let out a quiet shocked noise into his mouth and he licked inside, taking it from me.
His tongue was strong. Sweet from the festival. The best thing I’d ever tasted.
He groaned deeply, his hands moving down to my waist to tug me closer. I shivered from the feel of him. His warmth and strength seducing me closer. He groaned again and I jolted from the sound and my hands jumped to his dark hair, sinking into the so, so silky locks. His arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me up to my tiptoes as I tugged on his hair, pulling his mouth harder to mine.
My mouth opened wide, welcoming his. Wanting him as close as possible. He mumbled a curse against my mouth, his tongue exploring the roof and hidden sensitive crevices. It then licked behind my upper lip and I shivered, moaning. He cursed low and lifted me up against the wall, forcing my legs around his hips. They latched on and tugged him closer until the hard ridge of him was rubbing against the soft part of me.
Things got pretty out of control after that.
Our mouths moved together in a frenzy, our hips as desperate. Our hands bumped into each other’s as we pawed at the other. He latched onto my ass, his fingers sharp and impatient, grinding me down and into him, and my hands smoothed down his chest and up his shirt, feeling and mapping the silky skin underneath.
The skin between his pecs was soft and smooth, but his abs were rough as if he had scars in the hidden ridges. My fingers bumped over them as I explored him, my mind too ensnared by the feel of his tongue against mine and his fingers sinking into my bottom to wonder how he had gotten the scars.
My hands met the chain that was always hidden under his shirt and latched onto a circular pendent. Using the heavy metal, I tugged him closer and bit his bottom lip lightly. He nipped me back around a rumbly growl of satisfaction and spun me from the wall, walking the short distance to the couch. We tumbled down, him on top of me and shoving my shirt up to my neck.
I yelped when he tugged down my bra cup and latched onto my nipple with a hard suck. My back bowed to offer him more and he nipped it, his eyes dancing with approval.
“Killian,” I groaned in frustration and tugged him by his hair back to my mouth.
He chuckled against my mouth and tugged at my jeans. They got just past my hipbones when the living room light blared bright.
I yelped and turned, my eyes flaring wide at who was standing in the doorway to the hall.
“Am I interrupting something?” My brother drawled, his mouth pressing into a disapproving line.
Cryptic Warning
Theo
“I didn’t know you were here,” I growled for the third time.
“You knew Sal and Elizabeth were here,” Noah barked back, his blue eyes hard and unyielding.
“Bets,” I corrected, frowning.
My aunt smiled at me. Sal just shook his head and sipped his tea.
Killian and I had been pulled into the kitchen shortly after my brother caught us making out on the couch. And as if I hadn’t been embarrassed enough, his anger had woken up Sal and Bets. Leo and Oren came up not long after.
Now we had to sit with the five of them casting judgment on us. Forget that I was twenty-two and Killian easily a few years older than me. Both of us adults. I felt about an inch tall.
Sal had never caught me in such a state before, my hair a knotted mess from Killian’s fingers, his just as bad as mine. My sweater was wrinkled, Killian’s shirt completely misshapen from my twisting fingers. We looked exactly as guilty as Noah had told them we were.
Aunt Bets didn’t seem upset—her delighted smile a clear indication of that—but Uncle Sal was obviously uncomfortable. Leo didn’t seem to care either way. His slouched bulky form was comical next to Aunt Bets. They sipped their tea as they watched Noah march back and forth across the tiny kitchen.
The only person who was anywhere near as upset as my brother was Oren. Big surprise there. He was outright seething, his attention entirely on Killian’s unmoving expression. They seemed to be having some kind of silent conversation the rest of us were not privy to.
That left me to deal
with Noah all by myself. Because though Killian was sitting beside me, his untouched tea steaming in front of him, his hands were tucked loosely into his lap and he hadn’t looked at me once since we sat down.
He was a million miles away from me.
God, how mortifying. I was a grown woman getting caught by the parental units. Killian had to be regretting every last minute with me now.
His warm hand suddenly landed on my fidgeting one and my shoulders lost a tad of their tension.
“Theodora,” Noah called darkly.
“What do you want me to say?” I asked tiredly.
“Who is this guy?” he asked, waving to Killian sharply.
“Killian. His name is Killian and he’s sitting right here. You could just ask him.”
My brother looked at me with fire in his eyes. “Do you know how this looks? And why is no one else upset?” He passed his glare to my aunt and uncle.
Bets smiled, sipping more of her tea, while my uncle returned the glare. “She’s an adult, son. She doesn’t need to ask my permission to date.”
Bets chuckled. “Is that what we’re calling it?”
I flushed.
Noah made an angry sound in the back of his throat. “This is completely inappropriate, Theodora.”
Killian stiffened at my side. Oren shook his head as he glowered at Killian. Killian’s hand ran roughly through his hair as he clenched his jaw.
“Noah, I think that’s enough for tonight,” Sal said, also noticing Killian’s anger and Oren’s growing tension.
“You’re damn right it is,” Noah spat. “Theodora, pack a bag. You’re staying with me at the hotel.”
My jaw dropped and a shocked croak left my mouth.
Aunt Bets hissed a foul word, and Uncle Sal sighed. “She’s not leaving.”
“She’s not staying here with three strangers in this house.”
“They are not strangers,” Aunt Bets sniped, casually petting Leo’s long blond hair.
The big man leaned into her touch, a shockingly smug smile flitting across his mouth. Nearly purring.
Killian stood. It was a slow, predatory move. Quiet, but as loud as a bullet for all the menace it threatened.
“Kil,” Oren snapped on a near shout, standing as well.
Sal and I looked at Oren. He rarely spoke and when he did it was quiet and so accented it could be hard to understand. It was weird to hear his voice so loud. His accent was far more noticeable than Killian’s and unlike anything I had ever heard.
Leo was completely silent, but he had always found a way to communicate with us. A grunt here, and shrug there. He was almost easy to read now after two weeks. Oren was just angry all the time. Even Aunt Bets struggled to read him.
“Do not interfere.” Killian’s voice was dark and scary. I had never heard him use that tone before. Not even with Tim.
Unsurprisingly, Oren backed down. But instead of showing any fear, he sighed and sat back with his arms crossed and raised one brow pointedly.
“It is time for you to leave,” Killian rumbled to Noah.
My brother flushed, his anger palpable. He looked to Sal for back up, but when he got nothing, Noah looked to me. I didn’t want to give him anything in return. He was being a huge ass right now, but he was still my brother and I knew this scene was coming from a rare show of concern. It was dangerously close to getting out of hand.
I stood and walked to my brother. “Talk to me outside?”
He nodded tightly and turned for the door.
I went to follow, but Killian stepped into my path. “No.”
I scoffed. “What do you mean no?”
Killian’s eyes were hard and unforgiving. “I don’t trust him.”
“He’s my brother.” I stepped around Killian, but his hand latched onto mine and he tugged me back.
We stood there, glaring at each other, neither one of us willing to relent.
His jaw ticked and he exhaled a gust of hot air from his nose. He looked like an enraged bull, the vein at his temple bulging. “You are not to leave with him.”
I rolled my eyes and tugged my hand free. “I’m just going to talk to him.”
I didn’t wait for anything else and quickly stepped outside.
Noah was leaning against Sal’s truck, and I stopped to observe him under the porch lights. His golden hair was greying at the temples. He had a rumpled suit on his lean frame, his hair a mess from all the tugging he’d been doing. Deep dark circles rimmed his eyes, and I softened some at his obvious exhaustion.
I barely knew this man. He was my blood. My brother, the only one I had, and I couldn’t say I knew a single meaningful thing about him.
What was his favorite color? His hobbies? What were his days like? Did he roll out of bed easily, or did he laze around while rubbing the sleep out of his eyes? Did he watch the news in his free time or did he have a favorite show?
I didn’t even know how he got here tonight. There had been no fancy car in the driveway to warn me when Killian and I pulled up. Had he waited on the porch all night until Uncle Sal and Aunt Bets came home, or had Leo and Oren let him inside?
How had that introduction gone?
But for all I didn’t know about him, we were on even footing because he knew even less about me.
Noah looked at me with the usual cold indifference I was used to. I stepped down from the porch wearily, already wanting this conversation over with.
“You had no right to act that way, Noah.”
He huffed. “You’re not a child though you’re acting like it. How long have you even known that man?”
I looked away. I knew how it looked. Noah hadn’t heard a single word about Killian or the others the last time we spoke—which I was just now remembering was over two weeks ago. Exactly how long he said it’d be before he arrived. Normally that would have blinded me from normal life. I would have been so worried about his visit I wouldn’t have been able to focus on anything else.
But Killian had changed all that for me. He was all I had been able to focus on lately. I would not let that make me feel guilty. My brother hadn’t earned my undivided attention.
I doubted he ever would.
“Noah, why are you even here?”
Noah looked at the ground. “I’ve been worried about you.”
“Why?”
He checked in regularly. I was always honest. I was alive and working and happy. He just chose to ignore me.
He huffed an odd sound. Almost a laugh but too bleak. “Something’s happening.” He shook his head when I opened my mouth. “I can’t talk about it.”
More secrets. As always. Though that explained the exhaustion lining his face.
I walked closer to him. “Are you sick?”
“No,” he said.
I nodded, relieved. “Is… is it—” I could barely say it. “Is it Mom?”
His eyes flashed a brief flare of surprise. “No, she’s in Virginia.”
I gaped at him. So close. Just hours away from me. “How long have you known?”
He shrugged. “I’ve been tracking her for years.”
A small kernel of hurt pierced my heart. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I could have—visited her? No, I wouldn’t have done that. But maybe I would have called her.
And if not, just knowing she was still alive would have been enough.
“She’s still an alcoholic. Dating deadbeats. You don’t need to concern yourself with her.”
I scoffed at him. Not concern myself? She was my mother. It was biologically engrained in my entire body to think of her. Wonder about her. And yes, even worry about her—no matter that she abandoned me.
I could hate that woman and still love her. “You had no right to keep her from me.”
“We’re getting off track,” he said.
I widened my eyes at my shoes in disbelief. But I would get nowhere with Noah. I never did. He never listened to me. “Fine, what track exactly are we supposed to be on?”
&
nbsp; He gave the house a dark look. “I want you to come home with me.”
I nearly groaned in exasperation. “I can’t say it enough—I don’t want to go to some fancy college.”
He waved me away. “It’s not about college. Like I said, something’s happened. I can’t keep an eye on you all the way out here.”
Keep an eye on me? Who was this man? “Are you in trouble?”
I didn’t know what he did for work. Sal joked that Noah was some secret spy or something. That probably garnered a few enemies. But Sal could be wrong. For all we really knew, my brother could be a criminal. I eyed him warily. His fancy suits could be paid for by some syndicate or bank robbing, or—
“Don’t look at me like that,” he snapped. “I’m not in trouble.”
“Well than what?” I heaved in exasperation. “You can’t just come here and demand I leave with you!”
“It’s late,” he said on a sigh. “If you refuse to come with me, then I’ll be back in the morning and we’ll talk then.”
“I work tomorrow,” I said tightly.
“Then tomorrow evening,” he said just as tightly.
“You know what?” I spun around, giving him my back and walking back to the porch. “If you won’t tell me why you’re really here, that’s not my problem. I’ve gone out my way for you in the past and you never had the time for me.” I spun back around and pointed at him. “You’re on my time now. And you can wait until I’m ready to talk to you!”
“I’ll be back tomorrow,” he grumbled and jumped into Sal’s truck.
I guessed that explained it then. Sal had picked him up and hadn’t warned me. Though in his defense, I doubted Sal even knew Noah was coming until my brother landed at the airport. Or the train station. Hell, the bus station for all I knew. By then I was probably deep in the corn maze with Killian.
Fuming, I watched my brother pull away in my uncle’s truck. How dare he come here and demand I leave with him. And without an explanation.
As a child, I would have given anything for my brother to show even a kernel of this kind of interest in my life. But now? Twenty years after he left this place—and me—behind, it was too late.
