by Erin Raegan
Much, much too late.
The First Crack
Theo
“Noah took your truck, Uncle Sal,” I grumped as I slammed the front door.
“That’s all right, Boots,” he said, pulling me into his soft chest. “I told him he could borrow it.”
“Why didn’t you tell me he was here?” I asked, nearly whining.
“He called the house as we got home. You were havin’ such a good time, I didn’t want to pull you away.”
I sagged against him, hugging as much of his waist as I could reach. “Thank you.”
“No need to thank me, darlin’. I’m just sorry he ruined your night.”
I hid my grin in his chest. “Are you?”
He snorted. “I’m not sorry he interrupted you two, but I am sorry he’s takin’ the happiness out of your eyes.”
I sighed, squeezing him tightly. “He said somethin’ happened. He wants me to leave with him. He seemed worried. What do you think he meant?”
Sal shrugged. “Haven’t a clue. But you know what I think that boy does for a livin’. If he’s here to drag you away, I would hear him out.”
“He’s never come before,” I mused, pulling on a loose thread on his robe. “Other than my graduation.”
Sal dropped his chin on my head. “That was ‘cause he wanted you to have an education. This is different.”
Sal was too good. Even now, sticking up for Noah. But his words still penetrated. It was true—for Noah to feel he needed to keep me by his side, it must be something important.
“Still, he can’t just expect me to pack up and leave you guys.”
“You’re not leaving,” a dark voice rumbled from behind Sal.
Sal let me go, and we both turned to face Killian. He was glaring at me from the basement door, his eyes cold.
“I’m off to bed,” Sal said, deceptively flippant. “Keep it down out here.”
He glared at Killian, his eyes narrowing, as he left the kitchen and I knew that was about more than us talking. Killian nodded tightly to him. Then it was just the two of us.
I twisted my fingers together nervously. Less than an hour earlier, they had been all over him. I had felt every bump and ridge of that chest now puffed out at me.
The difference an hour makes.
Well, that, and my estranged brother catching us in the act.
Killian watched me suffer through my nerves and embarrassment for so long, I had to turn away from him. I grabbed the empty mugs on the table and took them to the sink, where I washed them anxiously.
“I haven’t see Noah in years,” I mumbled to fill the silence. “I knew he was coming, but I forgot.”
How I could forget, I had no earthly idea. That was so unlike me.
I didn’t know what I expected Killian to say, but his next question threw me completely off-guard.
“What does your brother do?”
My fingers paused on the white mug. “Uh, like, for work?”
Killian nodded tightly.
I shrugged, embarrassed. “I don’t know.”
I expected the usual reaction from him. How do you not know? He’s your brother!
But he didn’t give me that. “I don’t trust him.”
My brows scrunched and I rubbed the spotless mug more vigorously. “You don’t know him.”
Silence. Long, deafening silence.
I looked at him, my fingers stopping on the mug. “Why don’t you trust him?”
“I know his kind,” he said evasively.
“His kind?” I snorted. “What kind is that?”
“A liar. A deceiver.”
I looked at him sharply.
His face was cool. “A spy.”
My mouth opened and closed, a weird sound squeaking out. “Noah’s not a spy.”
“He is something like one,” he said.
I slammed down the mug. “You know what? You don’t get to speculate about Noah. You are just as deceptive as him!” I shook my head in disbelief. “Two men in my life, both of you keeping secrets from me. I don’t know what either of you do for work! How do I get attached to men like this?” I asked the sink. “Am I so gullible that I’ll take any half-assed explanation and blindly ignore all the warning signs?”
Yes, Theo, you idiot. That’s exactly what you do!
“Why don’t you tell me where you’re from?” I asked him, fuming. “You act like you’ve never been here before. You’ve never had licorice before. You didn’t know what a dishwasher was and had no idea how to operate a coffee pot.” My voice rose with my anger. “None of you three could drive a car without nearly hitting a tree the first few days you were here, and what is with the outfits? Oren looks like he shops for his clothes with his eyes closed. Nothing matches!” I shook my wet hands and stomped over to Killian. “And you know what?”
“No, Theo, I don’t know,” he said calmly. It sounded like a blatant lie.
“You always distract me when I notice the weird things about you. Why do you do that? How do you do that? It’s like you can read my mind and make me forget everything that’s bothering me!”
Killian looked at me, not giving me an inch.
“I think you’re keeping a lot of secrets and you shouldn’t begrudge my brother his.” I looked around the kitchen, my anger vibrating through me. “Why are you even here? Why don’t you stay in a hotel?”
I backed away from him, my hands suddenly shaking and I didn’t know why. Something vile and awful was swallowing me whole.
“And you know, I don’t think I believe you.” My throat swelled up, nearly choking me. “I don’t think your brother lives here at all. I don’t even know if I believe you have a brother.”
I was panting. My head was spinning and I felt dizzy.
“Just what are you collecting all those parts for?” I asked in a near whisper. “Where are you taking them? What do you need them for?”
So much. They had been collecting so much. By the time they were done, they would owe my uncle thousands and thousands of dollars. Why was I just now realizing this? Why hadn’t Sal?
My head ached and I pressed my thumb into my temple. “That’s weird too.”
Had Sal ever gone to the doctor? Had I? I should have. Headaches this often weren’t normal.
Even Jeremy was having them. Holden too.
Abby had complained about one earlier tonight.
Was my aunt having them?
I looked at Killian, my eyes already wide. That day I met him, I had gotten the worst headache. They’d slowed down after a few days, but I still occasionally got a small one. How had I forgotten that?
There was something very, very wrong with me.
Killian was walking toward me. Slowly, his hands raised, like approaching a cornered animal.
My heart broke as the guilt entered his eyes.
“What did you do?” It came out as a croak, small and pained.
He pushed a chunk of now-sweaty hair out of my eyes.
“Killian? Who are you?” I asked.
“You know who I am, sweets,” he whispered.
I swallowed. “What are you?”
His eyes went bright, and for the first time, I knew what it meant to feel real fear.
“I’m sorry, love. But I don’t think you’re ready to hear the answer to that.”
And then everything went dark.
Justification
Kil
“Did you get it?” Leovin asked Oren.
I opened my eyes to watch the two of them settle against the deflating air-filled bubble. Oren scowled at the Xixin as he kicked him from the bed. “Yes. Their surveillance is far more difficult to avoid than our distracted leader led me to believe.”
I scowled but closed my eyes once more. “Did you get caught?”
“How am I to know, Kil? It should have been you that went.”
“I had a prior engagement,” I said defiantly. “Was I to turn my Theo away?”
Oren groaned loudly. “You asked her to
go, that was your decision. You knew the humans were transporting the material this day. You could have restrained yourself from hovering over the human for one eve. They already suspect us. I cannot deceive them as you do.”
I did know the humans were moving the last of what we would need to finish the repairs. A rare mineral on Earth that would make do to replace our thruster gear until we could find a more suitable replacement. If we were to truly avoid detection, we needed to recover that material this eve before it was locked away in one of their more impenetrable—to other humans—housings.
But once I learned of the festival, I was overcome with the inescapable urge to experience the eve with my Theo. And oh how I had.
Theo had been a delight. Her and her fright. How tightly she held to me as she tried to escape from the costumed humans was more than worth it. But what became of the rest of the night ensured I did not and would never regret abandoning Oren to the task.
I traced the memory of her mouth against mine with a claw. Arousal burning through my veins as I replayed every last whimper and plea from her parted lips.
Leovin snorted. “Our lord has been enchanted by the human.”
Oren growled a curse, shifting against the cool floor. “Our lord has lost his wits. She is not what we’ve come here to acquire. She has clouded his mind while our crew floats behind the humans’ moon believing their leader is taxing himself to repair the ship.”
“Oren,” I warned darkly. He may be my closest friend and most trusted advisor, but I would not stand for his insubordination.
Oren sighed. “Very well. I cannot continue to warn you. You do not heed me and I grow weary of it.”
“All will be well.” But I knew it would not. I was too far gone to walk away from her now. I had been from the moment she invited my mouth to hers. Long before then even.
Leovin shifted. “We are close to finishing now. Dereth has already begun taking the completed sections to the ship. The humans are not a threat to the ship but things could escalate if they track us here.”
I blocked his words from my mind. It was true. We did not have much longer on this planet. We could stay. My Kilbus would obey my every command if I wished to linger, but it was unwise.
The humans knew.
Their instruments easily picking up on my ship’s presence. They could not see it. Not with their eyes or any human made contraption. Not truly. But they were far smarter than I gave them credit.
They were even now, this very moment, planning and plotting. Their leaders terrified of what lurked behind their moon in the shadows.
If they did suspect our invasion onto their planet. I did not have much time left here.
Her brother’s arrival was proof of that.
Oh, the dark secrets he kept from her. The deceit he laid at her feet.
He knew what had found his little world.
But he had no idea what had stood before him this eve. That he had found himself mere feet from the threat that terrified him and those he worked alongside.
He’d come in fear, to hide her away.
I wouldn’t allow it.
My mind grew weary of keeping our presence masked here on Earth. Every day I felt myself slipping further and further into the darkest recesses of my mind to maintain power over the minds of those that laid eyes on me. I would lose control and then there would be no hiding what we were from Theo.
I could not let that happen without first explaining myself. Without easing her into who and what I was, what I was hiding from her every time she laid her eyes on this human form I portrayed.
It sickened me. That an illusion had drawn her to me. That when she looked upon me with lust in her eyes, it was not me she was seeing. Not me she was admiring.
I laid back. I could not have anticipated that I would fall so deeply into a human female. Find myself so lost to her. Following her around, hanging on her every move and word. I wanted nothing more than to fulfill her every wish and desire.
And for the first time in my long life, I did not know how to proceed. I did not know the appropriate path to take. I was free-floating, at the whims of my own cruel fate.
It was unsettling.
Unacceptable.
I needed to take control. Of both her and my own fate. I would not, could not, leave it up to chance.
Kisses and Confessions
Theo
I walked into the kitchen, rubbing my eyes. Sleep clung to me like a heavy fog. My head was so heavy, I had trouble keeping it up, and my eyes were dryer than the Sahara.
“Morning, chickee,” Aunt Bets called to me. She passed me a hot mug of what I hoped was coffee and not some new floral tea. I needed strong coffee this morning. Nothing else would do. “You look rough this morning.”
I breathed in the potent aroma of coffee beans and pushed a smile her way. “I feel rough.”
“Last night must have been stressful,” she cooed, guiding me to a seat at the table beside Uncle Sal. “He took us all by surprise.”
For one long—too long—awkward moment, I had trouble latching onto who she was referencing.
Noah.
He had stopped by last night.
I sipped my coffee as I replayed our conversation outside. He’d said he was going to come by this morning. Didn’t he? Or was it this evening? Some things were fuzzy. Like I’d drank a little too much. But I knew I hadn’t. Not even a sip of alcohol last night.
The basement door squeaked open and Leo lumbered into the room. He dropped heavily into the chair beside Aunt Bets, grunting her way. She patted his mammoth hand and plopped several barely cooked sausage patties on his plate. My nose wrinkled, but his eyes crinkled slightly—Leo’s version of a smile.
As I sipped my coffee, my eyes were drawn to the basement door, looking for a certain man to come upstairs. But I didn’t hear a single step.
“He and Oren were up late last night,” Sal said gruffly behind his morning paper.
“They keep you up late?” I asked.
He shrugged. “No, I had to take a piss and heard them.”
“Sal,” Bets scolded with heavy exhaustion. “Not at the table.”
“Yes, dear,” he mumbled around a bite of his muffin.
I smiled into my mug, setting my feet on my chair and tucking my chest against my knees. I looked at my fuzzy pink pajama pants and frowned.
I most definitely did not remember changing into them.
I did remember how tired I was when Killian and I left the festival though. A blush moved up from my chest to my ears. I was starting to remember other things that took place after we came home. Just before Noah interrupted them.
Suddenly I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the basement door. Sal must have noticed me staring again because he huffed a soft laugh. I shot him a scowl and forced myself to look at the newspaper’s comics section as he passed it to me.
I read one comic strip over and over, not taking in a single word or picture of it. All of me was attuned to the basement door. Had Killian and I spoken at all after Noah left? I didn’t think we did. I must have passed out right after.
God, how embarrassing. I practically mauled him on the couch and didn’t even bother to stay up to talk to him about it.
Or explain my rude brother.
What would I have said anyway? Sorry for molesting you? Yeah, that would be a lie. I wanted to do it again. As soon as possible.
But did he want that? Did he regret it? Would seeing him be awkward? Would he avoid me from now on?
Girly insecurities flooded me.
Then the door finally opened and Killian walked through the doorway. Grey shirt, dark slacks, perfectly tussled hair, and a wide yawn that drew my attention to his mouth. Suddenly I couldn’t sit still.
I fidgeted as he scratched his lower belly under his shirt. My mug hid my mouth and my knees felt like a protective barrier as those sparkling eyes finally settled on mine.
Something strange and guilty flashed in them before his signature smirk too
k over. But it didn’t reach his eyes. And that was so unlike Killian that my chest tightened.
He greeted Aunt Bets with a kiss to her cheek and sat to Sal’s right, in the chair directly beside mine.
Bets was up and fixing him a plate of muffins and eggs while I sat stiff, forcing myself to stare at nothing but the untouched plate in front of me. After she served him, she cleared her plate and bustled off to the kitchen, humming.
Things only declined from there. After letting out an obnoxious burp, Leo sat back and picked at his teeth while he watched Killian with a cool stare. I felt Sal’s attention focused our way above the top of his paper, and Killian’s gaze on the side of my face felt like a hot brand.
The water in the kitchen turned on. Leo stood, off to help her with the dishes as was their routine.
After clearing his throat obnoxiously, Sal asked, “Any plans for the day?”
I assumed he was talking to me, but it was Killian who answered. “I’ll be following your niece around for the day.”
If Sal was surprised, he didn’t show it. Me on the other hand, well, I reacted. I turned to face Killian. He was already looking at me, the sparkle in his eyes back and the corner of his mouth tilted up.
“I suspect you’ll be spending a lot of time together then?” Sal asked, sounding deceptively relaxed.
“If you’ll allow it,” Killian replied politely, still staring at me.
“Son, that’ll be up to Boots there,” Sal said, standing from the table. “I trust her judgment.”
I looked at Sal, my face soft. He winked at me and left the room.
“What do you say, sweets?” Killian drawled. “Let me spend the day with you?”
I bit my lip. “I’m working at the tea shop today.”
“I can learn to make tea.”
I snorted. “Why would you want to?”
Killian’s smile smoothed out and his eyes searched mine. Hesitant and earnest, he said, “I want to spend as much time as I can with you.”
“Until I have to leave,” was left hanging in the air, the unsaid words dark and foreboding. I was glad he hadn’t said them. I wasn’t ready to accept them. Especially after last night.
