by Erin Raegan
I nodded, hiding my blush in my shoulder.
His smile grew again, and I smiled back.
“Stack the boxes?” Killian asked. “All day?”
I chuckled. “Yes, what else?”
He glared at the mountains of inventory in the back of the shop as if they had done him wrong.
“You think you were going to come in here and sit at the counter, eating all of Bets’s cakes all day?” I shook my head at him in mock sympathy. “I’m putting you to work.”
He sighed heavily. “Very well.”
He walked to the box by my feet and moved it out the way so he could step closer to me. His chest was inches from my face, his spicy scent surrounding me. The heat from his skin was all I could feel.
“But you’ll owe me,” he said low, threatening and teasing in one.
“Owe you what?” I asked, my voice far too husky.
His thumb traced my bottom lip. “These.”
I sucked in a soft breath, leaning closer to him. “I didn’t know if you regretted it.”
He shook his head, frowning. “I’ll never regret you, sweets.”
“But you told me you didn’t—”
He pressed my lips together, cutting off my words. “I never said I didn’t. Maybe that I shouldn’t.” His head lowered to my ear and he placed a soft kiss behind it. “I should walk out of that door and leave you be, but I’m not a good man like you think I am.”
“Yes, you are.” He was the best kind.
“No, Theo. And one day you’ll see that for yourself, but you messed up last night. I’ve gotten my first taste of you, and I want another.” Then he kissed me long and deep, holding me tightly.
All day, Killian stacked boxes.
After he was done organizing the inventory, he helped Bets clean behind the ovens and reorganize the kitchen, and he fixed the shelves that were loose in the cupboards. After that, he helped me in the dining room, serving the ladies who came in for their weekend book club and a little girl’s birthday party.
And through it all, he kept his promise, spoken to me like a threat. He touched me, kissed me. Sometimes little pecks on my cheek or forehead, others on my lips or neck. Any time my aunt turned her back, he was pulling me into the hall beside the bathroom and pressing me up against the wall, taking my mouth with a desperation that left me off-kilter and panting.
By the time the shop closed at three that afternoon, we were both wound up. Killian couldn’t keep his hands from my hip or his lips from mine. Aunt Bets finally got sick of us and slapped at Killian with her tea towel to keep him away from me.
When that stopped deterring him, she ordered us to leave the rest of the clean-up for her and demanded we leave the shop. It was said with love and affection and happiness shining in her eyes, despite her stern words.
Killian dragged me from the shop and to my car. He sat in the passenger seat while I drove, his hot and hungry eyes roaming my body as I squirmed in the driver’s seat.
As we got closer to the house, we both seemed to realize our mistake. There was no privacy there. Not in the house. Even if everyone was gone, we were bound to be interrupted again. But we had nowhere else to go.
I looked at Killian and he seemed to read my mind, ordering me to pull onto the road that ran behind the salvage yard. It was rarely used, and I knew a grove of trees we could park behind. Just beyond them was the lake Uncle Sal used to take me to before I got old enough to go with Jeremy, Holden, and Abby.
I didn’t know Killian knew where the grove was—or that he even knew about the road at all—but the moment I put the car in park, he was unbuckling my belt and tugging me onto his lap. We fumbled with the seat until it slid back, then I threw my legs on either side of his, straddling him.
We attacked each other, our mouths meeting in a frenzy matched only by our roaming hands.
I pushed and shoved his shirt up his chest, forcing him to pull it off so he could get back to my mouth. Dark golden skin coasted under my roaming hands as I panted, looking him over.
“You’re so beautiful,” I told him reverently.
He groaned as if in pain, hugging me closer. “I’m not,” he rasped into my throat, nipping and licking the skin there.
I huffed a laugh. “Of course you are.” Just look at him. He was stunning.
He shook his head and sat back, pulling my shirt up and off. He slouched further down and palmed my waist. “Now you are beautiful.”
I blushed, reaching back to unhook my bra. His eyes latched onto my eyes as the straps slipped from my shoulders. But even when I was completely bare to him, he didn’t look away from my eyes.
“I want to take you away from here,” he told me, smoothing his hands up my sides. “Would you want that?”
I looked down, forcing myself to keep my hands down and not fidget. “I’m not ready to leave Sal and Bets. They need me.”
“I would make sure they were taken care of. When you’re ready.”
“You really want to take me with you?”
He kept staring at me, that deadly serious look in his eyes.
“We’ve only known each other a few weeks,” I protested weakly. So, so weakly.
“Will a month make a difference for you? A year? Two?”
I searched his face for deception, but he gave me none. He was completely serious. Why did that worry me? I should be jumping for joy, shouldn’t I?
“Killian—”
“Kil.”
I cleared my throat. “Kil, just last night you were telling me you couldn’t do this with me.”
He nodded. “A lie. Both to you and myself. I have no choice in this any longer.”
I winced. “See, you make that sound terrible.”
“It is.” He sighed with a smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “For you.”
“Being with you could never be terrible,” I whispered back vehemently.
“One day, sweets, I will remind you of this very moment,” he said around a dark laugh. “I know I should leave you be. But it’s too late for that now. You are already mine and I am very greedy.” He flashed his teeth in a dark grin. “I don’t often relinquish a prize once I set my eyes on it.”
“I’m not a prize,” I grumped, but it lacked any heat.
“You’re the prize. A prize fit for a king.”
I smiled, pleased. But it didn’t last. I wanted to ask him so many things. No matter how much I wanted him to stay, how I never wanted to see him walk away from me, there was still so much about him that I didn’t know.
“Theo, one day, you will know all there is to know about me. But it is not all pretty. Some things may even frighten you.” He pulled me to his chest, and we both sucked in a sharp breath from the sensation of my naked skin touching his. “You will never have anything to fear from me. You will want for nothing. I would destroy worlds to keep you happy. I would destroy worlds just to keep you.” His eyes shined with truth and determination. “There is not a soul in the universe I would let harm you or those you cared for. I did not expect to find you, and here of all places, but now that I have, I find that I cannot part from you. I will not.”
I blinked back tears. The words were beautiful, but they sounded so much like a threat that it left me feeling bereft and confused. “You’re very intense sometimes.”
He smiled grimly. “That I am.” He dropped his chin to my chest with a sad sigh. “I don’t mean to frighten you, but I need to prepare you and this is the only way that I know how.”
I stroked my fingers through his hair. The moment felt poignant. I should be afraid. This was moving very fast, far faster than I had anticipated. But it also felt right. The moment Killian walked into my life I felt a shift. As if the universe had realigned in a way that I couldn’t help but stand up and take notice.
I had been happy before him. I would have been happy still if I had never met him.
Maybe I would have traveled.
Maybe I would have found someone and settled down, or maybe I would ha
ve tired of traipsing the world and returned home to take care of Sal and Bets for the rest of my life.
I could have married a man from this town, popped out a few kids, and that would have been a good life.
But I’d always felt as if I was waiting. Even as a child, I was waiting for something big to happen. For too long I’d looked for it in all the wrong places. That life I had pictured for myself was the only excitement I had. But it was still predictable.
I could see it play out in my mind, and it was over in the blink of an eye.
With Killian, nothing felt predictable. Everything with him was new and unexpected. Rushing into anything with him wasn’t smart or safe, but I was tired of safe. I wanted to hold on to the rush he gave me.
Seeing new and exciting things with him wouldn’t be like a checklist on my path.
It would be an adventure.
And wasn’t that what I ultimately wanted?
This high fall from a skyrise was the best feeling in the world. Terrifying without a safety net but thrilling with its unknown ending.
Even with him, I was always tense, waiting for that big reveal, that moment I knew would come that would turn my entire life upside down. It was an addictive feeling.
I dropped my face into his neck and breathed him in. Spicy and sweet. He was familiar to me, but also a complete enigma. I realized he always would be.
“I don’t know when I’ll be ready,” I told him, “but I’ve never felt this way before.”
He groaned and tightened his arms around me.
“I want to see the world with you.”
“Worlds,” Killian whispered into my skin. He ran his lips up the side of my neck until he was at my ear, tugging at the lobe with his teeth. “I’m going to show you worlds like you’ve never seen before.”
I nodded, pushing my mouth against his. We kissed, long and slow, savoring each other.
“I need a little more time with you just like this,” he whispered. “And then I’ll show you everything.”
His hands smoothed up my spine as he kissed down my chest and urged me to lean back. He took my nipple into his mouth, drawing a sharp breath from me. He savored me, driving me to paw at him.
It wasn’t until I was pulling at the buttons on his jeans that he stopped me with a sharp curse. “Not like this.”
He had to restrain my hands to stop me, but his mouth was still moving on me even as he repeated himself.
“You need romance?” I joked, assuming he meant the location—broad daylight in the front seat of my clunky car.
He chuckled, nipping at my belly. “Wine and dine me, sweets.”
“That’s supposed to be your job,” I huffed. My wrists strained against his hands as he teased me with his tongue.
“Says who?” he muttered.
“Killian,” I whined.
He cursed furiously and backed away, his eyes pleading with me. “Not like this.”
I sagged against his hold, my body shaking from unfulfilled desire. “Okay. Romance. I can do that.”
“Just honesty,” he said low and to my chest. “And that is my job.”
Cryptic Warning
Theo
We wordlessly decided to go help Sal at the salvage yard. Going home to a possibly empty house seemed like a dangerous step back toward where we had almost gone. And for whatever reason Killian had pumped the brakes, I wanted to respect that. If anything, it reaffirmed my acceptance of our growing connection.
There had always been the possibility that he wanted me because I was practically handing him an easy lay. But he hadn’t taken the bait. If anything, I was the one pressuring him.
I didn’t think he had intended to reaffirm my belief in the many things I was growing to love about him, but his insistence on waiting had done that anyway. And we were both hurting because of it.
But when he said honesty, I felt that he had things he wanted to share with me before we went there. I was looking forward to him opening up to me. It would make that next step mean that much more. It would make it special.
All our cards would be on the table and I might feel on more stable footing when it came to him.
Killian seemed determined and focused internally when we went our separate ways. He kissed me passionately, letting me know he couldn’t wait to see me again. Then he marched into the yard with resolute strides, and I watched him go with a smile on my face and a happy glow in my chest.
I caught sight of him again a few minutes later, helping Oren load a few things into the back of Jeremy’s truck—mostly thick welded sheets of scrap metal—as I puttered around the office, trying to keep busy.
Aunt Bets would be home by now, but I didn’t want to have to suffer through her knowing looks and sly smiles. And God forbid she ask. That would be too much for me to handle right now.
If I opened up to anyone about Killian, it would likely be Abby. But not only was I a pretty private person, bottling up my emotions like Uncle Sal did, but Abby and I were growing apart. I didn’t understand her relationship with Holden, and she couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t go off with her to Ohio.
I should make more time for her, but she didn’t make the effort anymore either. Once she moved, we would truly be tested. If our calls came less frequently now, our visits growing shorter and less often, what would distance do to our strained relationship?
If I told her, I knew she would be happy for me and my feelings for Killian, but I also know it could hurt her. She didn’t understand why I wanted to travel so badly but wouldn’t take that first step with her. And honestly, I didn’t have a good enough reason that didn’t sound like an excuse.
Killian was talking to Oren in a low voice and Oren was nodding even as he scowled at him. I looked away when Oren glared at the shop’s door—me hiding behind it. I didn’t want them to be talking about me, but I had a feeling that they were.
When Killian and I finally got around to the honesty he owed me, Oren and his disapproval was pretty close to the top of my topics list.
Oren took the truck by himself, spinning out of the parking lot far too fast and shooting dirt Killian’s way. I watched Killian shake his head and squint at the sky. He looked frustrated. Angry.
When he caught me watching him, he smiled and winked before walking back around the side of the building.
That evening, we went home together. Jeremy and Holden joined us for our weekly Saturday night dinner, off the hook for the festival due to heavy rainfall. Aunt Bets was cooking a chicken when we walked into the kitchen.
Leo stopped at her side and looked at the bird with a frown. She smiled and lovingly patted his bearded cheek. Then she pointed to a few slabs of barely seared ribs sitting on a platter. He grunted at her and patted the top of her head, nearly flattening her beehive bun. Roasted potatoes and carrots were paired with the meal, along with fresh baked bread and cheesy pasta.
After we set the table, Jeremy rubbed his hands together. “Looks good, Bets.”
“Eat up,” she ordered him with a pleased smile.
Killian and I were playing with each other’s fingers under the table, the mood lighter with Oren still not home, when the doorbell rang.
For a minute, I thought it was Oren, but he wouldn’t bother ringing the doorbell.
Sal stood with a sigh. “That’ll be Noah.”
I tensed. I was growing a little too forgettable lately. I should have been ready for him to arrive. He’d said he’d be back. This setting was too similar to last night—all of us in the kitchen, already together for his scolding—only now Jeremy and Holden were here to witness the scene. They looked at me in surprise and I winced. I’d never gotten around to telling them about Noah showing up last night.
I felt his disapproval as he entered the kitchen. Bets offered Noah Oren’s seat and plated a meal for him in silence.
“Theo, I would like to speak to you,” Noah rudely announced, ignoring my aunt’s offer.
Bets stiffened and held her tongue, but Sal su
rprised everyone when he barked Noah’s name sharply. “Son, we’re in the middle of a meal. You can either join us or leave.”
“I’m not your son,” Noah said flippantly.
Bets sucked in a sharp breath full of pain, then it was Leo’s turn to explode. He did so by slamming both fists into the table, rattling the silverware, and standing slowly. All he did was look at Noah. Just a look and an eerie shiver moved down my spine.
Leo’s golden-brown eyes bore into my brother from across the table, and Noah stiffened.
“Theo, please.”
I looked at my uncle, torn between obeying his wishes and wanting to respond to the plea in my brother’s voice.
“Go on,” Bets’s soft voice broke the tension.
I searched her face, hating the pain I saw there.
“Go,” she said again. “And hurry back before your meal gets cold.”
I nodded and stood. Killian grabbed my hand. I thought he might stop me and I really didn’t want him to. I didn’t want my brother to come between us. Noah would say what he wanted to say, then he would be out of my life for good. I just had to hear him out first.
Killian’s shoulders were tight and full of tension but he let my hand go with a dark promise in his eyes. One shout for him and he would be by my side.
I didn’t bother telling him it was unnecessary. Noah was my brother, not the enemy, but I knew Killian didn’t see it that way. Noah was intruding right now. He was the outsider.
Yesterday replayed in my mind as we took nearly identical steps to the driveway. Only this time, it wasn’t just Uncle Sal’s truck outside. A sleek back SUV was waiting at the end of the driveway. A strange man sat in the driver’s seat, and all my tension seemed to drain out of me. Noah wasn’t staying.
Why he’d even bothered to come at all would confound me for years.
“I’m leaving,” he told me unnecessarily.
Whatever emotion had driven him to come last night was missing tonight. A day in a hotel room must have knocked some sense into him.
