The Response

by Macklin, Tasha

  The Response

  THE RESPONSE is the second part of a series of communications between Trae and Tasha Macklin. This is her response to THE LETTER by Trae Macklin. We all are eager to learn how she responds to her husband's apology for his infidelities and other drama that he has caused in their lives. There will be more to come, so stay tuned.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Wahida Clark Presents Publishing, LLC

  60 Evergreen Place

  Suite 904

  East Orange, New Jersey 07018

  973-678-9982

  www.wclarkpublishing.com

  www.acreativenuance.com

  Copyright 2012 © by Tasha Macklin and Wahida Clark

  All rights reserved. This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission.

  ISBN e-book: 978-1-936649-90-7

  Cover design and layout by Nuance Art

  Book interior design by Nuance Art

  Contributing Editors: Linda Wilson and Wahida Clark

  Tasha Macklin

  The Real Boss

  Tasha

  I was angry at Trae, so I refused to acknowledge his presence. He stood at the front door, on his way out. I walked right past him as if he wasn’t even there.

  “Why you got on my pajama shirt?” he asked me.

  “Why do you care? You ain’t here to wear it,” I snapped and regretted the slip of my tongue. I kept walking, head held high until I got to my bedroom. My shoulders slumped and I sat on the edge of my bed, trying to fight back tears.

  Trae had been playing these head games for the last two weeks and the shit was starting to get under my skin. We hadn’t had sex in a while and my hormones were raging. This nigga would come home and spend time with the kids, and on those nights when he would stay, he slept in the guest room. In the morning, he’d fix breakfast and then leave. Some nights he would put the kids to bed and leave as if I was no longer in the picture. I’m like: What the fuck? Nigga, you made your point when you came and got my ass, so why you gotta drag the shit out?

  For the last week or so he had been home every night. So seeing that, I was like: Okay, this game is finally over. I thought since he wanted to communicate through letters, let’s do it. Getting a letter from Trae was new territory for me. So I figured since he wrote a letter, so could I. I thought it over for a couple of days and then I sat down, grabbed my pen and paper and I wrote.

  I poured out my heart.

  Dear Trae,

  I can’t start this letter with apologies because truthfully I am not sorry for the shit that I did. Regretful? Maybe. No, that’s a lie. I am sorry some days, sorry that I fucked with you. I read your letter and I felt everything you said, and I took it all into careful consideration. The fact that you sat down and wrote a letter gave you points in my book, but the pain you caused behind your actions that caused you to write it, fucked that up.

  I never wanted to see us get to a point where seeing each other hurts. I know that you love me; there is no doubt in my mind of that fact, but you said it best yourself, you fucked up. It was you who fucked the next bitch. It was you who allowed the streets into our home, only to invade and crumble the very foundation that we fought hard to establish. I can’t love you for both of us, Trae. I gave you everything you asked for. I gave in to you against my better judgment and gave you all of me. I gave you three beautiful children. I gave up my career to be your wife and raise our children. Then I gave up my dignity when I had to walk into a doctor’s office and have them look me in the face and ask how many sexual partners I had because I had a fucking STD.

  It was me who sat up nights when you were in those streets, praying that you would make it home. It was me, who when pregnant, begged you to get out the game. And then when you had to make one more run, I had to bear the burden of losing our first child. Even when I didn’t know if you were dead or alive, I never turned on you. I never left your side. In fact, I hauled my black ass to that jail when I found out you were okay and did the only thing a loyal bitch of my caliber could do: I stood by you through it all. And yes, I’m the same bitch that slept in a hospital chair for three months while pregnant again, nursing you, bathing you, and crying and praying for God to give you back to me. I refused to leave your side. Then to have you come back from death’s door and years later pull the bullshit that you have been pulling. That shit is a slap in the face.

  I’m tapped out, Trae. Not only have you fucked up, you put your hands on me. Love isn’t supposed to hurt. Because of my love for you, I haven’t loved me. I haven’t been caring about myself enough to secure my feelings. Was fucking your boy’s brother wrong? Hell yeah! I can’t deny that. But knowing that I was giving you just a taste of what I went through was priceless. Was it payback? Shit . . . Payback ain’t enough for what you put me through.

  I wanted this letter to be a confirmation of my anger, but the more I write the more I realize that I still love you more than life itself. I can’t throw away all of the good times that we had, all the drama we fought through to be together. I can’t throw away the love that we share for each other. I can’t forget the look in your eyes when you say the three words you love to hear and seem to know before I do, “Tasha, you’re pregnant.” Then the look on your face when you hold our baby in your arms for the very first time. And I damn sure can’t forget that you are and have always been a provider and protector of our family. I too sat and thought back to how it all began with the chase, the catch, and the mind-blowing sex that kept a bitch cumming for hours. Yeah, I’m your butterfly, and yes, I whisper your name when you hold me close, because when I’m in your arms I lose my breath.

  I don’t want to hate you, Trae. What I wanted was for us to live a perfect life, but that shit obviously doesn’t exist. We both fucked up and we fucked up bad, but going over the shit repeatedly does not change things. If we ever plan to get past this, there has to be some major changes.

  I want to love you without pain again, Trae. I don’t want to think the dick is all mine. I need to know it is. I need you to keep the streets away from our children and me. Keep them away from the home that we built together. And most of all, I need my Trae back, the Trae that doesn’t lie to me. The Trae that doesn’t hurt me. And definitely the Trae that would never put his hands on me. I know it wasn’t easy on you when you found out I gave your pussy to another man, and it damn sure wasn’t easy for me to know that the next bitch was getting my dick. But I think it’s fair to call it even. If we can get past this, we have to bury this shit and start over fresh. No hate, no anger, no bringing the shit up when we feel down or get angry. We have to kill it.

  First thing’s first. Cali is a dead issue. This move fucked us up. We need to relocate. Second, we have to repair everything that is broken. Third, we have to love harder than we have ever loved before, having no secrets and holding no grudges. I love you, Trae. I want to be proud again to say I’m your wife. I want to be able to hold my head up high and not feel like the next bitch’s joke. Lastly, I want my Trae back. The man that I first fell in love with. The man that had a bitch doing lap dances in the club. The Trae that had a bitch giving up pussy anytime and anyplace. The same Trae that holds my face and gives me tender kisses when I’m sleeping, and lays in bed with all of us around you and laughs at the crazy things our children say. I want my King back.

  I don’t want to live without you, but I know that we have a long road ahead of us before we can get back to life as we once knew it. If that letter was you opening the line of communication between us, I heard y
ou loud and clear. And this is a sincere response. We need time to heal and whatever happens next has to happen on both of our terms.

  Love Always,

  Your Wife Tasha

  Three days went by and he hadn’t even acknowledged that I wrote the damn thing.

  But the kicker for me was, tonight I wanted some dick and this nigga was at the front door on his way out. I could just kill him, I thought to myself as I sat on the side of my bed and grabbed some tissue and blew my nose.

  “What did you say smart?” Trae eased into the bedroom startling the shit out of me. I didn’t even hear him come up the stairs. Now I grew even madder because he busted me crying. He stood in front of me. “What did you say smart?”

  I rolled my eyes. “You heard what I said, Trae. You ain’t here to wear the damn shirt.”

  Of course he had his signature smirk plastered on his face. The smirk that said, “Yeah, I won. I got the upper hand.” The smirk that I wanted to smack clean off his face. He walked away, took off his jacket and threw it across the loveseat. He then leaned up against the dresser and stood there staring at me. “Fuck you, Trae!” I snatched up one of the pillows and threw it at him. I was mad, sniveling and blowing my nose. I felt vulnerable and more like a weak ass bitch.

  “Take off my pajama shirt and come here, Tasha.”

  I ignored him. Tears were streaming non-stop down my cheeks, and I was still blowing my nose trying to get myself together.

  “Baby, come here,” he repeated.

  This time I shook my head no. “Leave me alone, Trae. I’m not feeling you all up in my space right now.” I was struggling, but slowly getting myself together. I stood and gathered my wet tissues. Fully composed, I looked back at my husband and said, “Make sure your ass is gone when I come out.” I went into the bathroom, shut the door and then tossed the tissues into the trash. I placed a warm washcloth over my face until it cooled off. I slid the cloth onto my neck and looked at my red and swollen eyes in the mirror. Unhappy with my reflection, I turned the water off and hung up the cloth.

  When I cracked the door open and peeked out, Trae was posted up in the same spot where I’d left him. I snatched the door all the way open and charged out. “Don’t you have some place else to go?” I asked. When I got close enough, he pulled me close and hugged me.

  “Trae, no. I see what you are doing.” I tried to break free of his embrace. “You won. You got me back here. You got your family together and now you don’t want me. And at the same time, you won’t let nobody else have me. It took a minute, but I see right through your bullshit.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “I’m not stupid. Get off of me and get the fuck out!” He held me tighter.

  “Till death, Tasha. Till death do us part.”

  “No, Trae. I’m not going to let you do this to me.”

  “Do what?”

  “Control me like this. Now let me go.”

  “Aiight, fine. You’re in control,” he said and let me go.

  “Now leave,” I told him as I pulled the covers back on the bed. I needed some quiet time without him all up in my space. I grabbed my Sudoku puzzle book and a pencil. Trae began to undress in front of me. Butt naked, he went into his jacket pocket, came out with a blunt and headed for the bathroom. I heard the shower come on and a few minutes later, the smell of purple haze floated up my nose.

  Trae

  Tasha obviously got my point. She was mine, always would be, and I would never, as long as I was breathing watch her run off happily into the sunset with the next muhfucka. Took her long enough, but I believe she got it. Yeah, I was doing all that shit on purpose. I had to bring that lesson home somehow. I intended to drag the shit out a few more nights, but when she came walking past me with my pajama top on, ass hanging out, my dick started hollering, “My nigga, did you see that?”

  I started talking back. “Yeah, I saw it.”

  “Well, what the fuck you waitin’ on? Don’t make me starve again tonight. I can’t take this bullshit much longer. So what you gonna do about it?” my dick asked me.

  “The pussy ain’t going nowhere. Be cool. You’ll be all right for a few more days.”

  “Man, you got me fucked up. You ain’t starving me another night. I need to be all up in that.” And at that thought, my shit got rock hard. The next thing I know, I was climbing the stairs to my bedroom, following behind my dick.

  I knocked off half of the blunt and took a nice, hot shower as I thought about how many ways I was gonna fuck Tasha. I knew my wife like I knew the back of my hand, and she’d been uptight as hell these past few days, needing to get dicked down. That’s why she was doing all that damn crying. She was sexually frustrated.

  I got out the shower, dried off, brushed my teeth and lotioned up. When I stepped out of the bathroom, she was sitting in the bed, puzzle book in her lap, tissue in hand, wiping away her tears. I pulled my side of the covers back, climbed into our bed and slid up next to her. I began unbuttoning my pajama top, the one that she had on, and she stopped me.

  “No, Trae,” she stated firmly.

  “I want my pajama top,” I told her as I went back to unbuttoning it.

  “I’m not playing with you, Trae.”

  “I ain’t playing, neither.” I snatched it open, popping off the last of the buttons. They went flying across the bed. Tasha rolled her eyes. Her succulent looking breasts left me in a trance. Before I leaned in to her, I put a tit in my hand, brought it to my mouth and sucked on her pretty brown nipple.

  “Trae, stop!” she said through sniffles.

  I didn’t stop until I had enough and was sure that her pussy was wet. I snatched the covers off her, ran my hand up her thigh until I had two fingers inside her. Yeah, she was ready. I leaned back in and flicked my tongue across her nipple as I fingered her pussy.

  “Can I get that kiss you been saving for me?” She shook her head no and moved my hand from between her thighs. I pulled her down toward me by the neck. “I want my kiss.” Roughly, I covered her mouth with mine, kissing her until her lips kissed me back.

  Just as Tasha began thrusting her hips forward and whispering my name, we heard, “Mommy, I want some water.” Caliph interrupted as he stood in the doorway.

  “Okay baby.” Tasha broke away and tried to get up, but I stopped her.

  “Caliph, drink some water out of that bottle right there on mommy’s table and get back in the bed.” I held onto Tasha’s waist so she couldn’t move. She still treated that boy as if he was a baby. I had to talk to her about that.

  Caliph drank some water and set the bottle down. “Good night, Daddy. Good night, Mommy,” he said as he made his exit.

  “Close the door, Caliph.” I still had work to put in.

  I lay on my back, grabbed my dick and started rubbing him. He was so hard that when I turned him loose, he jerked back and forth all by himself. We both knew what that meant. “What you want to do with him? You want to tame him or what?” Tasha looked at him, trying to fight it, but just like my dick was talking to me, I knew her pussy was speaking to her.

  She climbed over me, pussy in my face and her mouth at my dick. “Oh it’s like that?” I asked her. I knew it was about to be on when I felt her lips wrap around my tool. Then, the next thing I knew my shit was down her throat. I couldn’t let her outdo me, so I spread her pussy lips and ate her at the same rhythm as she was sucking my dick. Electricity shot down to my toes. It was obvious that my head game was winning; she released my dick and was moaning, groaning and grinding against my mouth. I could tell she was about to cum, so I slapped her on the ass and stopped.

  As she changed her position, I grabbed another pillow and put it under my head. It was time to watch my baby ride. She locked gazes with me as she straddled my dick and slid all the way down on him. She whispered, “Trae, I hate you right now, but this dick feels so good.” Tasha placed her soft hands on my chest and started ridin’. I watched my baby get her fuck on, sliding up and down, side to side unti
l she finally screeched, “Oh my God! My spot. My spot!” I gripped her ass and plunged into her pussy as deep as I could. “Oh that’s my . . . right there, baby. My spot. Oh my God, that feels so good.”

  I got a kick out of seeing her face twisted all up and could feel her pussy contracting. Once her head fell back, I knew she was gone and she started cumming. My shit throbbed and was now on maximum swole. She fell forward on top of me, and I whispered in her ear, “I still want my kiss.” Tasha was still breathing hard and trying to recover from that orgasm. Still deep inside her, I turned her onto her back and placed her legs over my shoulders.

  “Baby wait,” she purred.

  “Wait for what? I’m the nigga you love to hate, remember?” I was on my knees digging deep. She couldn’t move; she couldn’t get away. All Tasha could do was roll her head from side to side and moan. I had complete control of the pussy.

  “Trae, baby, please. Ohmygod! Baby, my spot. My fuckin’ spot!” she screeched, and at the same time she started cumming again. It was on. In this position, there was no hittin’ and missin’. All I could do was hit it.