Salvation

by Terri Anne Browning

  Meanwhile, he was back here in Creswell Springs getting on with his life, while I was stuck in some damn limbo.

  If I was so forgettable, maybe he’d been trying to use me after all.

  Realizing that made me feel sick, and I turned away from the sight of the guy I realized I wasn’t going to stop caring about just because I had to. Walking back toward the office, I passed Aunt Quinn.

  “Lexa—”

  “I have work to do,” I said in a tone devoid of all emotion. “And I’m not hungry, so please don’t waste food I’m not going to eat.”

  “Honey, I’m sorry,” she tried to soothe, but I knew if she hugged me, I would cry.

  Chapter 10

  Ben

  Paige brushed her hand over mine, finally releasing me after Campbell got up from his table three booths to my right.

  “Why do I feel dirty whenever that creep is around?” she hissed as she sat back, picking up her cup of coffee and taking a leisurely sip.

  I grunted, but as she sat back, clearing my field of vision, a flash of dark hair caught my attention and the air suddenly seemed to be trapped in my chest.

  Lexa.

  And she was walking away.

  “Ben!” Paige called after me, but I was already chasing after Lexa. “Where the hell are you going?”

  “Go back to my office. I’ll be there when I finish here,” I tossed over my shoulder.

  “Sheriff,” Quinn greeted as I caught sight of Lexa’s hair again, this time going into the back of the diner where the office was. “I wouldn’t recommend it.”

  I didn’t even spare her a glance as I jogged down the little hall and pushed open the office door just as it started to swing closed in my face.

  The first thing I noticed was how tense her shoulders were, and I wrapped my arms around her from behind, pulling her back hard against my front as I buried my face in her neck. She stiffened in my arms as I inhaled her scent like it was the first breath of air I’d had in weeks.

  “No!” she cried and savagely jerked out of my arms to face me. “Don’t touch me.”

  Ignoring the fire in her eyes telling me to keep my distance, I cupped her face in both hands. She had on makeup, but I wasn’t sure I liked it because it was hiding her natural beauty.

  “I missed you so much, Lexa,” I growled, brushing my lips over hers.

  Laughing dryly, she pushed against my chest, but she was unable to budge me. Her head jerked back, and she glared up at me. “Yeah, it was obvious you missed me. How long did you wait, Ben? Did you find someone else the second I left, or did you wait a few days before moving on to the next conquest?”

  There was fury blazing in her glacier-blue eyes, but she couldn’t keep the hurt from lacing her voice. “You think I moved on?” I demanded. Grabbing hold of her waist, I locked her against me, making her feel just how much agony my body was in after weeks away from her. “How could I possibly move on when you are all I see?”

  “Smooth line, Sheriff,” she seethed. “But I’m not buying it. I see straight through your bullshit now. Tell me something? Was it just a game to you? Did you like chasing after the MC princess and making her bow to your every whim so easily?”

  If she were anyone else yelling at me like that, I would have walked away without a backward glance. But she wasn’t just anyone. “God, you’re maddening. You know that, right? Give me two minutes to explain certain things to you, and you can calm down.”

  “Calm down?” she repeated before pushing at my chest. “I am perfectly calm, asshole.”

  Frustrated, I released her. Walking away a few steps, I shut the door and flipped the lock just in case someone tried to interrupt us. “You saw me having lunch with Paige, is that it? You’re jealous I was eating with her?”

  “Is that what you were doing?” She hmphed. “Looked a little more intimate than that.”

  At least she wasn’t denying she was jealous, I mused to myself. “It wasn’t anything more than two friends having a meal together, Lexa.”

  “Whatever. I’m not going to argue about this with you. I have work to do, and I’m sure you do too, Sheriff.” After walking around the desk, she sat and turned on the computer. “I won’t keep you from doing your job or your…friend.”

  “Did you have meals with any friends while you were in New York?” I demanded, trying to get her to see reason.

  Her gaze lifted from the screen in front of her, her eyes narrowed on me. “Plenty of times, actually. But I’d never fucked my friend. Can you say the same?”

  Fuck. I didn’t know how to answer that. I’d dated Paige. We’d had a pretty hot sex life during our relationship, but once I realized she was trying to change me, any attraction I’d had for her had turned to ash.

  “See?” she said, her eyes still flashing flames as high as the gates of hell. Leaning back, she crossed her arms over her chest, lifting her brows. “So, this ‘friend’? Does that include benefits? Or was she someone special?”

  Scrubbing my hands over my face, I leaned back against the door, wondering how the hell we’d gotten from me only wanting to hold her, to her wanting to talk about my ex. “She’s an old girlfriend, baby. We dated for like six months, and then I broke up with her when she tried to turn me into something I’ll never be.”

  “What was that, exactly?”

  “She wanted me to turn my military background into a political career, like her father.”

  Lexa snorted, shaking her head. “And yet, here you are. Turning your military background into a political career by running for sheriff in the fall.”

  “The irony isn’t lost on me,” I assured her, unable to keep my eyes from devouring the sight of her sitting only feet away from me. “But my career choices weren’t the only thing she wanted to change about me. My ink was too much for her. She wanted me to get anything that was easily visible removed. In her eyes, my size was too bulky, and she wanted me to get leaner. I’m not good enough for her like this, Lexa. Maybe if I’d loved her, I could have changed and been okay with it. But there was never that tight of a connection with us.”

  She looked away, frowning at the computer screen. “Well, it looks like she’s over wanting to change you. The way she was touching you earlier screamed she likes you enough to take you as you are.”

  “That isn’t what’s going on with us,” I told her as I pushed away from the door and stalked toward her. “Come to my apartment tonight, and I’ll explain everything.”

  “No way,” she snapped. “I don’t care enough to know what is going on with you and your bitchy ex. Thanks, but no thanks.”

  Putting one hand on the back of her chair and the other on the desk in front of her, I leaned down so that our noses were nearly touching. “Lexa, I haven’t seen you in two and a half weeks. Come to my apartment. Let me explain about Paige and everything else that has been going on while you were away. I doubt your father told you, but I talked to him and—”

  “Wait!” she cut me off, leaning her head back and putting inches between us. “You spoke to my dad? And you’re still breathing?”

  I grinned and pushed closer, touching my lips to the corner of her mouth. “Believe it, beautiful.”

  “Fine,” she breathed. “I…I’ll think about stopping by.”

  Cupping the back of her head, I kissed her quickly. “I get off work at eight.” Straightening, I pulled my keys out of my pocket and took off the extra I’d had made to my apartment weeks before just for her. “If you get there before me, use this and make yourself comfortable.”

  Hesitantly, she took the key from me and dropped it onto the desk beside the keyboard. “If I can make it, I will. But I’m not going to promise anything. My mom might need me.”

  That had me pausing. “I’ve heard a few things about her the last two days. Is it true? Is she battling cancer?”

  Lexa lowered her lashes, swallowing hard, but she nodded. “Cervical cancer. She had surgery yesterday. Dr. Weller to
ld us before surgery that the labs showed her cancer was already pretty far advanced, but hopefully, the hysterectomy got it all. She still has to have a few chemo treatments, though.”

  “Baby, I’m so sorry. If there is anything your parents need, just tell me.”

  Her smile was sad when she met my gaze. “Thanks, but they have it all covered for now. I think I’m more scared for her to endure the chemo than I was the surgery.”

  Crouching down, I took both her hands in mine. “Whatever happens, I’m here for you. Just remember that, Lexa.”

  “Th-thanks,” she whispered just as a hard knock came on the door.

  “Lexa?” Quinn called out. “Do I need to call your dad, honey?”

  Sighing, she pushed the chair back and stood. “You should go. I’m busy, and I honestly don’t know how long this is going to take.”

  Straightening, I grasped her hand and brought her palm to my lips, kissing the center. “I’ll see you tonight?”

  “If I can,” she promised with a nod.

  “Lexa!” Quinn shouted. “I’m about to call Bash if you don’t come out of there right now.”

  Groaning, she hurried over to the door and opened it. “It’s fine, Aunt Quinn. Sheriff Davis was just leaving. Weren’t you, Ben?”

  Stopping behind her, I kissed the back of Lexa’s head before turning my focus on Quinn. “Excuse me, ladies.” Moving past them both, I turned once I was on the other side of the door, and I looked at Lexa over the top of her aunt’s head. Lifting my hand to my ear, I motioned for her to call me and got a single nod before I forced myself to walk away.

  Chapter 11

  Lexa

  The sound of the television on in the living room pulled me toward it when I got home from Aggie’s. To my surprise, Max and Dad were both sitting on the couch, plates of spaghetti in hand as they watched a baseball game.

  “How’s Mom feeling?” I asked as I dropped down between them.

  “She’s sleeping. Flick is napping beside her in case she needs help getting up to go to the bathroom.” Dad offered me a piece of his garlic roll, but I only shook my head. Aunt Quinn had put one plate after another in front of me all afternoon, and I was so stuffed, I could barely breathe.

  The three of us sat there in silence for a while before my curiosity got the better of me. “I didn’t even think you lived here anymore,” I teased my brother with a grin. “Figured Tanner and Jos adopted you and you were their son.”

  He grumbled something under his breath before placing his now-empty plate on the coffee table. “Figured I needed to stay home more often. No one tells you shit when you’re not around.”

  “Your mom didn’t want you to worry, boy,” Dad told him in a hard voice.

  “Yeah, well, I’m worried now,” Max bit out, used to our father growling at him. “You should have told me she was sick when you first found out. I bet Lexa knew from day one, and she’s not even her real mom!”

  Pain sliced through me like shrapnel, and I couldn’t hold in my gasp at being attacked so brutally. No one, and I mean no one, had ever tossed that in my face before. Raven was my mom in every sense of the word except for biologically. But she never let that stop her from loving me, and I’d never gotten hung up on the fact that I was the oddball of the family because I didn’t share a single drop of Hannigan blood.

  Having my brother, whom I’d always been close with growing up, say such a thing now stung.

  I jumped to my feet, glaring from one Reid male to the next. “You know what? I’m getting sick and tired of you two acting like total douchebags and throwing shit in my face. If it weren’t for Mom, I’d say to hell with you all and never come back to this house.”

  “Lexa,” Max started, his face contrite. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I…I’m just pissed.”

  “That doesn’t give you the right to take it out on me,” I snapped at him, and he flinched. “Between the two of you, you make me feel like I don’t even belong to this family anymore.” My glare went to Dad. “Yes, I know everyone is tense because of Mom’s cancer. I’m scared and worried too. But tearing me down to make yourselves feel better is not the way to deal with it. And I’m tired of having to tiptoe around everyone else’s feelings just to avoid getting lashed out at.”

  “Lexa.” Dad reached for my hand, but I backed away. “Sweetheart, I’m sorry. I never should have talked to you like that a few weeks ago. I regretted it as soon as it happened, but I was only trying to protect your mom.”

  “I get that,” I said with a nod. “But you really could have handled that a little differently without making me seem like a traitor to this family.”

  “So, you really were screwing around with the sheriff?” Max butted in.

  “No!” I seethed. “I didn’t screw around with the sheriff. We were flirting and—”

  “I really don’t need to know the details, sis,” he muttered, lifting his hands in surrender. “And you don’t have to explain yourself to me. I don’t even know the guy, so I’ll trust your judgment on him. I was just wondering about the rumors is all.”

  Dad stood, but instead of snarling at either of us, he pulled me for a tight hug. “Lexa, if Davis is who you want, I’m not going to stand in your way anymore. The two of us had a…chat. And I told him if you choose him, then I’d respect that. But if you didn’t, he needed to respect your decision and leave you alone.”

  Stunned, I just stood there, letting Dad hold me. What Ben said was true, then. He’d spoken to Dad. And survived. Maybe I should go to his place later and give him a chance to explain about that Paige woman after all.

  “And I really am sorry for the way I talked to you. I couldn’t wrap my head around Raven’s cancer, then there you were with a guy for the first time. I lost my mind, and I reacted badly. I hate that I hurt you.”

  Something I’d noticed about my dad over the years was that he rarely apologized. Unless it was to Mom. He was Bash Reid, Angel’s Halo Motorcycle Club president. He didn’t need to say sorry, ever.

  Yet there he was, apologizing to me.

  It didn’t make the sting of Max’s throwaway comment about Mom not being my real mom hurt any less, but it went a long way toward healing what Dad had scraped raw weeks before.

  “Do you mean it?” I asked hesitantly as I looked up into those eyes that were identical to my own. “Do you really not care if I’m with Ben?”

  He sighed heavily but nodded. “I don’t care, Lexa. After our talk, I realized Davis would be a better ally than an enemy.”

  As apology presents went, that was the best one he ever could have given me.

  Standing on my tiptoes, I kissed his cheek. “Thanks, Dad.”

  Max jumped to his feet. Even at fifteen, he was almost as tall as our father, just a leaner version of him. “Does this mean you forgive me too?”

  The smile that had started to form on my lips died, and I glared at him standing there with his arms open wide to embrace me. “You’re still on my shit list,” I told him as I walked toward the stairs. “And don’t you ever say that again, asshole!”

  “Lex, I really am sorry,” he whined as I stomped upstairs. “Come back. Love me!”

  “Dude, you gotta get smoother. If that’s how you are with the chicks, your game is lacking.” I heard Dad admonishing him.

  “Gross, Dad. I’m not talking about the action I get with you.”

  Snickering to myself, I went to my room to shower and change. There was still plenty of time before Ben got off work, and I wanted to look my best when I showed up at his place.

  But excitement was making my blood zing, and I couldn’t wait to see him again. I couldn’t remember ever feeling so…freaking giddy. As I washed my hair, I even found myself humming a little, a smile glued to my lips as I laughed at myself for being so off-key.

  When I was finished, I dried my hair and put on a little makeup. I didn’t contour like I’d done earlier in the day because I’d noticed Ben hadn’t
seemed to like it. I didn’t know why, but the way his eyes had skimmed over my face told me he wasn’t a fan of that look on me. That made me wonder if he’d stopped seeing the scar, if he just didn’t care about it now.

  I could hope.

  Once I was ready, I walked down to Mom’s room and knocked lightly before sticking my head in to check on her. She was sitting up in bed, a new tray across her lap, this time with spaghetti and garlic rolls.

  “Lexa,” she greeted me with a tired smile as I entered her bedroom. Seeing I was dressed to go out, her eyes lit up. “You look beautiful, baby.”

  Crossing to her bed, I climbed in beside her, snuggling against her like I used to when I was a little girl. “How are you feeling?” I asked as I tucked the covers over both our legs.

  “Those damn pain pills make me so tired. Flick just made me take another one after she brought my dinner. Between her and your dad, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed, honey.” She blew out a frustrated sigh and leaned her head against my shoulder. “You’re the only sane one right now, kiddo.”

  Kissing the top of her head, I closed my eyes, thankful she was there with me. “I don’t know how sane I am, Mom. I…I need to tell you something.”

  Her head snapped up, her eyes going from tired to assessing in an instant. Before my eyes, she went into mom mode, and I wanted to cry then and there because I never wanted to lose her. “You know you can tell me anything. No matter how bad, I won’t judge you, and I’ll do whatever I can to help. Even if it means having to get rid of a body.”

  “I know,” I whispered before clearing my throat. I didn’t want to cry in front of her, not when everyone else was driving her bonkers. “I love you, Mom. More than any person in the world. Please know that.”

  “I do, Lexa.” She caught my hand, entwining our fingers. “And I love you just as much.”

  “I like Ben Davis,” I confessed. “As in, I could maybe fall in love with him.”