Is that Knox? I’m coming! I will my mind to make my voice be heard; my mouth to open. “I’m here,” I yell in my head, “I’m trying, please wait for me,” I scream. Then it’s gone.
It is quiet again yet I can feel something heavy being placed on my chest. It’s cool and smells of sweat and rain. It smells so good. I can feel my hair fanning out around me. What am I lying on? It’s hard and cool, crisp. Wait, what’s that I feel; is that someone’s touch? So, soft and smooth; running fingers over my cheeks, my chin, and lips. My heart beats faster; my chest feels tight; my lungs are squeezing in on themselves. I panic. I have to wake up. Sarah-Jane, WAKE UP! I’m willing my body to respond. That touch is making me panic. Scared I don’t want to be touched, not again!
Just like that the pain and anger mixed with fear pushing my body to will my eye lids to open. It is the final push my body needs. I scream out as they finally open. I jolt up and gasp in pain at the sight of a man leaning in on me. I can barely see. It’s still so fuzzy and dark. There is a light behind him, making it hard to see his face. Who is this guy? I go to scream but nothing comes out.
“Hush,” he says. “It’s me, Knox.”
OH, THANK GOD! “You came! You came!” I say as I let out a breath, unaware I had been holding it in. The pain I feel zapping through my body has me flinching as he wraps me in his strong arms. Hell, he’s talking about keeping me safe and even though I can’t concentrate on all he’s saying, I don’t doubt it. He takes all the darkness away and shields me with his light.
God, I start to remember what has happened. Looking down I see my top ripped open under his jacket. I cautiously reach up to touch my swollen lip, running my tongue over it, I feel the split and taste the tang of blood. Knox is talking about cleaning me up and taking me home. God no! My parents will flip. “Please,” I plead shakily. “I can’t go home, not after what happened to Brad. This would kill my mother.”
He is searching my eyes with his beautiful grey pools. A woman could get lost for an eternity in them. Confusion washes over his face as the lines of worry etch out over his perfect features. “He’s my heart Brad and it’s to raw still I just can’t do it, going home and facing the fake glares of love.” I blurt out before I even know I have said it. He looks deep into my eyes his finger traces over what I can imagine is a bruise on the side of my temple and under my eye. “I’ll take you somewhere I go when the world gets fucking intense but then I have to take you to my place, to my Nan like you need a doctor or some shit.” He pulls his jacket from the front of me to my back. I look down numbly as shame washes over me. He zips up his jacket, shutting the dirty sight of my ripped clothing and reddened skin. He’s talking to me. I can see his lips moving but I can’t hear what he is saying. I feel so dirty and embarrassed
I must look terrible. I can taste blood and grime. I don’t want to know how bad I look. What does Knox think? He breaks my train of thought as he gently pulls me out of the car and into his arms; shit that hurts. I hold my breath and place my hand to the pain slurring round my ribs. He tells me to just breathe, like it’s that simple. It feels like there is fire raking through the splinters of my soul. He places a tiny kiss on my forehead. I shut my eyes as his lips linger on my still clammy skin. Breathing slowly from my nose I try to push the pain from my body and the drug haze that still swims deep in my veins. One thing I know for sure is I’m glad that I stopped drinking that damn drink the moment I realize something was up with it. My mind jumps to the fear and the sicking feeling I felt when Dan’s hands and mouth found my body and now here with Knox I don’t feel scared or fear, I’m not clammy up and holding my breath as his hands touch my body. I feel safe with him.
Knox puts me on the front seat I watch him as he walks around to take his seat. He looks deep in thought as we drive away from a place I want to forget. Just how much did he see? What happened after the darkness swallowed me? I steal a glance at him driving; the street lamps shining in over us outlining his body and muscles. His hands are gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles are white. His brow is furrowed and his lips are set in a hard line. I want to reach out and touch him, to wash all his anger away. I can feel it radiating off him. It’s all consuming.
I slip off into my own thoughts, finding it hard to concentrate for long. I wonder what he’s thinking. Is he thinking about where we are at? We seem to be stalled between acquaintances and wanting to be friends but also more than friends. I didn’t even get to give him my name before he came to my rescue. Can someone build something on top of something as gross as what just happened tonight? How do I move us forward? How do you forget and just start over like it’s the first time we have met? Ding, Ding, lightbulb. I smile to myself, but it feels more like a grimace because of the pain and swelling. I feel the split on my lips pop a little. You start over.
“Hi, I’m Sarah-Jane, and you are?”
“Pardon?”
“I’m Sarah-Jane, and you are?” I press, willing him to play along.
He smiles, a small chuckle escapes his lips.
“Me? Well, I’m Knox,” he says.
“Well Knox, I’m very pleased to meet you.”
We carry on like this for a little while, just idle chit chat. I drift in and out of the conversation, still fuzzy and in shock. Knox slows as we approach a drive-thru.
“I thought maybe you would be hungry and want something to eat?” He looks over at me questioningly.
“Yeah, now that you mention it. I could eat,” I say as I think back to spewing my whole stomach contents out in the omega douche bag’s bathroom. Maybe if I eat well try and eat past the pain that ripples through my body it may soak up some of this drug haze that is still swimming through me and coming in waves of like a nausea feeling. My mouth is dry and tastes feral.
He pulls in slow to the drive-thru, ordering cheeseburgers and chips, raspberry and coke. Smiling, I look up at him as he passes me the bag and cup tray. I flinch at the movement of raising my arm. I pull my free one around my waist and double over in automatic response to the shooting pain that wracks my chest. I moan slightly. “Fuck,” he snaps out, startling me. I flinch again at the harsh sound. “Shit sorry, you ok?” He is looking at me with concerned laced in his eyes.
“Yes, a little sore. I think my ribs are broken.” His eyes close as he breathes in deep, shutting out the pain from me but I see it flicker across his iris before his lids shut. We are under lights so I take this moment to look at myself. I move to pull down the visor.
He reaches out his hand, wrapping it around mine, his touch tense. “Don’t do that” he says.
“I need to,” I reply because I do. I want to see what he sees. I pull the visor right down.
“You’re freaking stunning, Sarah-Jane.” I feel a warm flush travel over me as I shut my eyes, taking in a deep breath before opening them slowly. Shock hits me as I look into the mirror, seeing a puffy half closed eye split lip, with some angry finger prints around my neck, blood smeared over my top lip and bottom chin and under my nose. Turning, I look at my eyes. My eyelashes are caked with dirt, tears and mascara.
“I’m looking hot now, am I?” I turn to him.
There is a small smile on his face as he touches my cheek with his finger, “Fucking drop dead hot babe.” He winks at me before lowering his hand back to the steering wheel and we pull out of the light back into the dimly lit streets heading out of town. He turns off the main roads and takes us up this narrow windy road to the most stunning place I’ve ever seen. Dove’s Peak, the sign reads as we pull in, it overlooks the whole city. Driving right up to the massive stone wall barrier I can see for miles; all the lights and rushing cars, the lost sounds of people and life. I see the beautiful lights of New York, all the little suburbs, and the moon and stars winking from the lakes below. Stunning this place in time right now with him up high above the busy city is beautiful and it’s just what I need. I breath in deep the pain from my ribs sears through me like a hot poker. He helps me from the car and li
fts me so slowly and gentle up onto the hood. I look out at the skyline, God, I could stay up here forever. This place has such a remarkable feeling of peace and hope.
I try to sip on the drink Knox has handed me, my ribs and lip are so sore, just those small movements hurt. But my body is begging for more of the sweet, cool liquid. I’m parched; my mouth is so dry. I close my eyes as I suck up more drink and allow the coolness and peace to wash over me. I feel my emotions bubbling to the surface. Looking up at him as he studies my face, I feel calm.
“What’s your story babe?” he asks me as I blink up at him. With the moon shining behind him, I breathe it all in. He has picked me up from the dirt half naked and bleeding and that didn’t scare him off. Maybe I can share my story with him. He continues, “We all have one baby. Mine isn’t flash either. It’s dark, empty and shit, I’m not proud of where we came from. That is till my Nan and Pa took us in,” he trails off, looking back out at New York’s skyline, a quiver leaving his body as I place my hand on top of his and squeeze gently. Suddenly I can’t hold anything in any longer. I turn to this incredible man who saved me, and tell him my story of loss, hurt, and sadness. I pour out my heart, telling him how I have lost myself and can’t seem to find that person anymore.
“Can anyone love someone who is lost and broken?”
He answers the question that I wasn’t seeking an answer for with a simple. “Yes.”
Knox
She is so beautiful. She’s haunted by her brother dying and feels as if love is out of her reach. Love killed her brother, so she says. But she is wrong. The wrong love killed him; a smothering and controlling love, that’s what killed him. Their parents were, and still are, so caught up in their own appearances. If other people’s opinions dictate how you live your life, then things slip, build up and explode. Mistakes happen; words said that cannot be taken back.
I want to take all the pain and hurt out of her eyes. I want to send butterfly kisses all over her to remove all that has stained her soul until she feels nothing but sweetness and passion. I want to embrace her and show her that you can feel love, pure, deep and unwavering; and not feel guilty about it. Not all love ends in the death of a brother, a marriage, a family, or even yourself. I can love her more than life itself. I vow to the gods in that minute that, for all I have, I will love this angel the way they had intended the day they had made her. Forever. It might seem too fast, but when I looked into her eyes the very first time I saw her, I knew then that she was meant to be mine. Placed in my life for one reason only: to love beyond all bounds with no ties to appearances or social development, to love in the carefree way that has your heart on fire and your soul on ice all at the same time.
Sitting here with her on the hood of my car, after the night we’ve had, I feel like a hero with his fair maiden. It feels like I have known her my whole life, even though we’ve only just met. The wind catches her hair and blows it and her scent wafts faintly to my nose. I take a deep breath in. She smells amazing. Watching the way her lips move, swollen and bruised, but still beautiful; the words of her story take hold of my soul. The way her eyes sparkle when she speaks of her brother and then drop into the darkest depths when she tells me how he died; and how that has broken her family into pieces, that she feels can never be glued back together.
I wrap my arm around her back and gently pull her close to me; I hope my touch brings her comfort and conveys that it’s ok to talk.
“I’m here, I’ll listen. No judgement here. We all have a story, we all have dark days and we all have secrets,” I tell her, looking down onto her.
She looks up at me and smiles, tears in her eyes. I nod back down encouragingly at her as she lays her head on my lap and wraps her arms around my back and leg. Feeling her flinch at the movement, I push my anger at Dan back down and focus on her story. I need to give her what she needs tonight asshe tells me more of her past; the fights, cheating, alcohol, her Mom crying in the dark, and them pushing each other to the point of near death. She tells me about the suicide of her beloved brother. He was gay and in love, a love so deep that they wanted to marry each other. But that would tarnish her parents’ perfect image in the society of the rich and snobby. God help them if that happened. They don’t worry about the fact that their father was cheating with just about all the women in their world of prissy perfection; that their mother survived on gin and sleeping pills. Her brother snuck out every night to see his boyfriend of five years because that was easier than having to deal with the shitty existence of life as a Briggs; of not being able to be who he was. She is left alone in their big empty house to swallow the crap they feed her about image.
“I loved it when Brad and I would escape away, when Mom and Dad were out of town.. The way we would lounge around as normal kids and have all our friends over. When their dad was away on business alone, Mom was happy and fun; we enjoyed our time together. Mom even let Brad and his partner be together at the house. She liked him. Mom had no problem with them, and she supported them in secret.” The melancholy in her voice hurts as anger coils up my spine how can one man take so much away from them and not even see it? She is so haunted that she almost seems to look past what happened tonight.
I have to shelter her from the aftermath of what’s coming from tonight. There will be a shit fight, that much I’m sure of. I won’t back down; I’m going to protect this girl. I didn’t know why, but I felt like I’d fight to the end of the earth for her.
“Sarah-Jane, are you ok after everything that has happened tonight?”
She shrugs. “Compared to what I have lived through, losing Brad... I think of him and his boyfriend overdosing together. I think about my mother finding them holding each other with a note for each of us. So, dealing with a scumbag like Dan really doesn’t hurt as much as that. I’m pretty numb to that kind of emotional pain now. Going home though and having my dad see just how much I am not like him will hurt more than this though you know. His disappointment is a pain I’m not strong enough to bare bones mend, and he didn’t get much further than that, thanks to you.” She looks at me, my concern mirrored in her own eyes. “Are you ok,” she asks, “I mean, given what has happened and what you had to see and do?” Looking at her the way the moon hits her features and the way her hair shines like a golden halo how can someone be so beautiful yet broken all at the same time. Not trusting my voice to not break I just nod my head in answer to her question.
I sit mulling that over; thinking of just how amazing she really is. It is incredible how strong one woman can be.
The sun is starting to come up.
“Isn’t that just beautiful,” she exclaims. “How the stunning magic of a sunrise can wash away the troubles of a past day.” A tear forms in her eye. I can see the shimmer of it on her cheek. I close my eyes, take a deep breath. This girl and all her beauty and hurt could just be the death of me... She’s so vulnerable under her trained strengths, under the facade of the persona that people in power have to uphold. I will protect her from it and I will hold her up in the dark that will surly fall from this.
Chapter Six
Sarah-Jane
I lay in his lap as the sun comes up, watching the way it dances around the moon, rising up from the sunken depths of a night-time’s embrace. I need to figure out what I’m going to say to my mother. I can’t even think of how my father will react. God, just the thought has my nerves up. Then there is school and teachers. Shit, this isn’t good. Lost in thought, Knox brushes my hair from my face. Turning my head, I look up at him, “Ready babe. Time to get you looked over.”
I pout up at him, “Do I have to?”
He chuckles, “You’re cute, and yep you do have to.” I slowly pull myself up as Knox slides off the hood, slowly putting his arms around me, he pulls me into him, leaning my head on his shoulder as he walks around the side of the car. He opens the door and ever so slightly places me down onto the cool leather seats. Everything seems to look a bit brighter today, not so dark and gloomy. It feels like a
weight has shifted, just sharing the saddest part of me with him. I just wish that my head was a little clearer and not so heavy with the fog of the drug haze that is still swimming inside me.
I look out the window as we wind the way down this amazing mountain road. It truly is stunning even if I’m looking at it with one painfully puffy eye. We head over the Brooklyn Bridge. Looking out at the water below, I feel the nervousness start to form in my belly. I’m about to meet this guy’s Grandparents and look at the state of me. Holy hell. Nice way to make a first impression. ‘Hi, I’m Sarah-Jane. I’m Senator Briggs’ daughter and I was beaten last night by a guy who wanted to rape me. He drugged me, your grandson saved me. Who wants to hear that you know no-one. I might be strong, but I’m hurting not only physically but mentally. I am emotionally tired and vulnerable. I had to fight for my life last night.
Knox slows down before turning around a corner lined with trees and cute benches in between them, houses and shops scattered to the backs of them. It’s cute. So pretty. I would never have known a place like this was here. He pulls into a tight drive heading to the back of what looks like a two maybe even three storey building. Out front hangs a sign Ambrose Hardware, coffee & sweet Italian pastries Est. 1982. This is where he lives and works. This right here is his life. I’m about to walk into his world.
Pulling to a stop, he jumps out, before running around and opening my door. He picks me up shock jumps through my tired body my heart rate picks up as his hands wrap around me and he delicately carries me up the back steps, taking them uber-slow. He’s holding me against him like I weigh nothing at all. It’s nice, really nice. I feel like I could break and he would just piece me back together without even thinking twice about it. “I’m scared,” I whisper into his neck. Knox stops in his tracks. He pulls me out a little so he can look at me.
“Why?” he asks as if everything is fine.
“Um well look at me,” I say quietly, waving my hands around us, instantly regretting the movement. “AHHH shit!” I cry out in pain as water pools behind my eyes.
Broken (Reapers Reign, #1) Page 8
