Finding Refuge

by Lucy Francis

  Rachel grimaced as she opened the van and reached for the cooler. “Oh, please, when have I ever eaten chick food?”

  “Let’s see, what grade were you in when you were crushing on my cousin, Alec? Tenth?”

  “You’re seriously bringing that up?”

  He laughed. “Yeah, and you were so worried he’d think you were a tomboy that you wore a dress to the Memorial Day picnic and picked at a teeny little salad when all of us knew you would have killed everyone there for a steak.”

  She swatted his arm. “And you let me think he liked me even though he had a girlfriend, jerk. How does leftover chicken and potato salad grab you?”

  “Works for me.”

  “Good.” She pressed the cooler against his chest until he took it from her.

  Travis followed Rachel inside to the open kitchen area, where Andri knelt on the wood floor, smoothing out an old blue blanket. She looked up, glanced from him to Rachel, her brows rising in some unspoken question.

  Rachel hitched her thumb at him. “Company for lunch.” She took the cooler from him as Andri’s gaze connected with his. For a moment, she hesitated, her expression unreadable. Then she smiled, and his knees went a little weak. He grinned back. Damn, she was so pretty. And that smile pulled at him, hard, making him fight to remember why she was supposed to be off limits.

  Travis lowered himself to the floor across from Andri as Rachel dug in the cooler, handing him plates and forks. He set one of each in front of her, then reached out, offering a set to Andri. “I wasn’t expecting to see you on the job.”

  “I’m becoming quite an efficient little helper.” She took the plate, her fingertips grazing his knuckles, sending awareness zinging through his hand, up his arm, coursing through him. Man, he was on really thin ice if he got a thrill from a tiny touch like that.

  Rachel nodded, handing Andri a bowl of potato salad. “You are a good helper, and I like bossing you around.”

  Andri giggled, and the rich, textured sound poured through him, burning into his stomach. Yep, he had it right the first time he saw her. Kryptonite. This was a woman who could strip him to the core without even trying. He turned his attention to filling his plate. He needed a change of subject, had to focus on something, anything besides Andromeda Miller. “Rach, how did your parents enjoy their anniversary cruise?”

  “Loved it. If they could afford to spend retirement on a ship full time, they probably would.”

  He laughed. “Sounds like Uncle Mac. I haven’t seen your brother in months. Is he still working on his degree?”

  She shook her head. “Nah, he didn’t have enough time for it. I don’t think Ian will go back to school for real until his ski career is over. He’s been smart with his race winnings, plus he doesn’t pay rent, so he can be a bum for a few years, even if it all ended tomorrow. He’s such a brat.”

  Andri said, “Doesn’t that drive your parents crazy, watching Ian play for a living?”

  Rachel reached for chicken leg, a broad smile on her face. “Oh, it might look like he plays, but he works incredibly hard just to stay in fighting shape.”

  The three of them talked lightly through lunch, discussing the weather, sports scores, world news. Finally, Rachel stood up, leaving her empty plate on the blanket. “Back to work for me, but don’t you two run off on my account.” She walked away, taking the stairs up to the next floor two at a time.

  Travis took a deep breath as Rachel left, steadying the sudden staccato beat of his heart. What was left of his appetite vanished the moment he found himself alone with Andri. She set her own plate aside as he watched her. For a moment, she looked down at her hands, pressed against her knees, then she started cleaning up, stacking the plates and replacing everything in the cooler.

  He couldn’t stop himself. “How long are you going to be here, visiting Rachel?”

  She shrugged. “I’m not sure. A few weeks, maybe.” She stood and waved him off the blanket. When he got to his feet, she picked up the blanket and folded it. “I’m sort of on vacation. Figuring some things out, you know?”

  The grainy quality in her low voice touched something primal, deep inside him, hooking him, and for a moment, he wasn’t sure he remembered why he should be fighting this attraction. “Would you have dinner with me tonight, Andri?”

  Her eyes met his then, wide, turbulent. He got the distinct impression she was sifting her thoughts, making a measured decision. Then the turbulence cleared and she smiled. “I’d love to. What time?”

  Travis broke into a grin. “Great, uh, six-thirty? I’ll pick you up at Rachel’s house.”

  “All right, that works. I’d better go help her, then. Make sure we’re done on time.” She gave him that brilliant, soul-warming smile one last time, then retreated up the stairs where Rachel had gone.

  The lightness in his soul lasted until he crossed the walkway to his truck. His cell phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket, only to feel the waves crash against him. The caller ID said Craig Jasper. “Lord help me, this guy is going to drive me insane.” He leaned against his truck, calmly answering his anxious client’s questions. No sooner did he get the man off the line than his office manager called.

  He glanced up at the unfinished roof, resignation settling on him like a blanket. He’d get no more manual labor today. He’d pushed aside his office duties as long as he possibly could, and now he had to pay for it. He waved at one of the guys on the crew, who grabbed his cap and tossed it down to him.

  He talked to Peggy all the way to company headquarters in Fort Union, and it wasn’t until he stepped into his private office and closed the door that it fully dawned on him what he’d done.

  He’d asked Andri out.

  He leaned against the door. What was he thinking? He never dated, except to functions where he was expected to show up with a woman on his arm. The only other reason to date was to find a companion, and he couldn’t bring himself to try. The potential for pain to himself, or worse, for him to hurt someone else, was too great.

  The memory of the way Andri smiled crept into his thoughts. Her bright, genuine smile warmed the dark places inside him.

  She couldn’t possibly be as sweet as she seemed. He could dig a little and find the negative traits he knew must lurk under the surface, the things about her that would turn off his response to her. They had to be there.

  He’d had his libido under firm control for a long time, but she rattled him. The edges of his control slipped when visions of her flooded his brain. He would dissect her personality tonight and be done with her.

  A nagging thought tickled his brain. What if she ended up being wonderful? That made his heart skip a beat, but he reined himself in. She didn’t live here. She was a visitor, taking a break from her usual life.

  Hmm. Maybe he should take advantage of that, enjoy her company a bit before she left. Either way, then he’d be able to let her go. She would be out of his head completely, leaving him to his comfortable, familiar misery.

  Chapter Three

  The doorbell rang at precisely six-thirty, and Andri panicked. She was ready. She had been for twenty minutes. Once she told her about the date, Rachel had insisted on taking off early and going shopping to be sure she had a great outfit. So here she stood, in a long, cream floral halter dress she’d fallen in love with, paired with navy sandals.

  She still wasn’t sure about her face. Cosmetics just didn’t look the same on her as they looked on other people, but she’d done her best. Mascara, sheer powder, and, since Rachel had insisted, a matte rose lipstick, but she nixed anything else because more always made her feel like a little girl playing dress-up.

  “You look fantastic, Andri,” Rachel said, peeking around the edge of the kitchen doorway. “Stop stressing out in front of the mirror and open the door, or I’ll do it for you.”

  She threw a pleading look at her friend and got a thumbs-up in return. She drew a deep breath. She looked presentable. This would be fine. She pushed her hair back over her shoulders
and opened the door.

  Travis stood on the front porch, his hands in the pockets of khaki pants. The rolled-up sleeves and open two buttons and the top of his pale green striped shirt gave her a glimpse of tanned skin and toned muscle. Ohhh, he looked good. She allowed herself a quick glance from the top of his thick, sunstreaked hair to the toes of his very nice leather shoes.

  Something bright and hot sparked deep inside her when she realized his eyes were roaming across her in a slow, casual once-over. His gaze caught hers, and his lips curved into a sexy grin that stole her breath.

  “You look great,” he said. His silky baritone sent shivers up her spine, and she wondered if she’d be able to eat with the butterflies circling inside her. She’d give anything to know if she affected him like this, or at all. She did not want to be the only one chemically involved here.

  She forced herself to breathe evenly. “Thanks, so do you.”

  He cocked his head slightly, his grin widening, deepening the crease of his dimples. “Thanks. Are you ready?”

  Andri grabbed her purse and a cream wrap off the rack beside the door. “I am now.”

  She shut the door behind her and walked beside him to his truck. He opened the door and held out a hand to help her in. The touch of his calloused hand under hers sent a livewire shock through her body, tingling in the pit of her stomach.

  She climbed in, and before she could tug her dress to safety, Travis tucked the long hem out of harm’s way, then closed the door. The small act stunned her. Either he had been well-trained, or Travis possessed an eye for detail and a level of thoughtfulness she’d not seen in other men she dated. She hoped it was the latter, but she knew he’d been married before. What sort of woman had he chosen? She forced her thoughts away from that subject. Whatever woman she might imagine would instantly morph into everything she wasn’t and further inflame the inadequacy festering inside her.

  After he’d backed out of the drive and headed down the highway into Park City, he glanced over at her. “Do you have any preferences?”

  “I’m not picky. Just feed me, I’m starving.”

  That brought his killer grin back. “I know a great Mexican place. Will that work for you?”

  “Maybe. How’s their chile verde?”

  “Just the right amount of heat and the pork’s tender, lots of flavor.”

  “Yep, that’ll work.” Her eyes drifted down his tanned arms, layered with corded muscle, to his strong hands gripping the steering wheel. Hands used to putting tools to work. She considered briefly whether his hands would be rough or gentle on her skin, then batted the thought away. In the first place, who’s to say he even felt that kind of attraction to her. If he did, it would be fleeting. She’d had her first boyfriend in college and a few that followed. It never lasted long. One or both of them always lost interest after a month or two or three. None of her relationships had any staying power until Pete, but look how that turned out.

  The restaurant was fifteen minutes from the house, and small talk about the weather and how their respective days had gone kept them occupied until they settled into a brightly striped booth, digging into chips, spicy salsa, and fresh guacamole.

  After they placed their orders, Travis leaned toward her slightly, dipping a chip in salsa. “So, where are you from? How do you know Rachel?” The warm expression in his eyes encouraged her. He sounded genuinely interested rather than someone reaching for something, anything, to say.

  “Originally, Colorado Springs. I met Rachel at the University of Utah when we shared a dorm. I moved to Phoenix after graduation, but we’ve stayed in touch.”

  “Ah, that’s it. I wondered why I hadn’t met you before, but while you two were at the U, I was at Clemson. What do you do?”

  “I’m a computer geek. I ran the IT department for a grocery chain in Arizona. Now I’m between jobs.”

  “What happened? Did you quit?”

  She thought she saw a hint of dismay in his expression. She understood. Walking away from a stable job in this economy did make her look like a flake. “I really needed to get out of Phoenix.”

  The dismay morphed into curiosity mingled with concern. “That sounds ominous.”

  “Not really. It was more a case of a lot of things that added up until I realized it was time for some changes in my life. I wasn’t very happy with how things were going, so I gave my notice and got out of there after I’d shown my replacement around. Rachel kindly offered a place to crash while I get my head sorted out.”

  He took a drink of his soda, then leaned back in his seat, watching her. “There are days I’d love to do that. Just, step back, take an honest look at things, and make changes.”

  The conversation bounced around for a while until their meals arrived. Travis thanked the waitress at the same time Andri did, and she grinned at him. Her dad always said to watch how her date treated those who served him, because she’d learn a lot about his character. So far, so good.

  As he cut into his smothered burrito, Travis said, “Tell me about your family.”

  Andri finished swallowing a bite of spicy but incredibly flavorful chile verde, then said, “I lost my dad a few years ago. Colon cancer. My mom lives in Phoenix. She’d moved there while I was in school, and she loves it there, loves the Greek community. My brother, Dmitri, is an attorney out in upstate New York. What about yours?”

  “I work with my dad, I’m sure Rach told you that. He’s the best.”

  She grinned, watching him dig into his dinner. The man ate with gusto. “Sounds like you have a good relationship.”

  “Oh yeah. You know, he always made time to do things with me, even when business was wearing him down. We’d go hiking, or take the boat out and fish. Sometimes, he’d pick me up after school and we’d sneak off to the movies together, just the two of us. Then he’d make up excuses about where we were when we got home late for dinner.”

  She laughed with him, delighted with mental images of him as a boy. She watched him eat for a moment while she devoured her own meal. He was a breath of fresh air, so amazingly…normal. Centered. Confident without being arrogant. A man who actually listened to what she said, who didn’t just sit there waiting for her to stop talking so he could hear his own voice. Not to mention he was yummy to look at. So far, Rachel was right. This was fun. “Tell me about your mom.”

  His expression closed a bit, but the tone of his voice remained smooth. “My mother is a fine woman. She does a lot of work for the homeless and children’s causes. Most of her time goes to charity work. Always has. Of course, now it’s more in the form of organizing big affairs to bring in donations, but when I was young she spent time in the trenches, feeding people, helping them face to face.”

  “Wow. I’ve always admired people who give so much of themselves to others. What about siblings? Rachel said you have a brother.”

  The moment she saw the shadow flicker across his face, she regretted asking the question. She’d obviously hit a painful subject, and she didn’t want to ruin the evening. Even more, she didn’t want her nurturing instinct to kick in. “I’m sorry, Travis, I seem to have said the wrong thing. Forget I asked, okay?”

  He raised his eyebrows, surprise registering on his strong features. After a moment, he gave her a slight smile. “No, it’s fine. I do have a brother, Daniel. He’s five years younger than I am.”

  “Are you close?”

  “Yes and no. I boss him around more than he appreciates.”

  “That’s what big brothers are for. Dmitri made my life miserable, but I sure miss having him around sometimes.”

  The conversation lightened up as they finished their meal. Travis paid the bill, then gently draped her wrap over her shoulders before they ventured outside. An evening breeze cooled the mountain air by a good twenty degrees, and Andri tightened the wrap around her.

  They continued talking on the way back to Rachel’s house, trading memories from growing up. Andri soaked it in, learning everything she could about this wonderful ma
n before the evening ended. When they reached the farmhouse, he switched off the engine and shifted on the seat to face her. The evening light outlined his face, glinting in his eyes.

  “So, I’m curious. You seem very together and on top of everything, and I can’t figure out for the life of me what you’re staying with Rachel to sort out. What drove you out of Phoenix?”

  Whoa, that was a swerve into serious. Telling him about her sham of an engagement wasn’t a conversation she really wanted to have, but there was no point in avoiding it, either. If he asked Rachel, she’d tell him. Better that it come from her. She toyed with the ends of her wrap. “Well…I was engaged.”

  His brow knitted. “Did you call it off?”

  She nodded. “We shouldn’t have been engaged in the first place, so I saved us both from a very painful future together. We would have divorced eventually.”

  His expression closed, his gaze hardened. Her stomach took a sickening dive. Now she’d done it. A ruinous end to an otherwise decent date.

  “You decided to not even try to make it work?” Accusation simmered in his words, and she sighed, reaching for patience. Of course he would think the worst of her at this moment.

  “Travis. He was gay.”

  His expression melted into compassion instantly. “Oh, damn. Wow. Not openly, I’m guessing.”

  “No. That’s why he wanted me, to help provide cover.”

  “And you agreed to marry him?”

  “I didn’t know, at first.”

  “Oh. How long were you together before you figured it out?”

  She felt the blush flow across her cheeks. “That’s embarrassing. It took about a year.”

  Travis whistled. “I…at the risk of sounding unkind, um…”

  Andri sighed. “Why did it take me so long? Didn’t I notice that he had no interest in touching me outside of hugs and perfectly chaste kisses?” She pressed against the bitterness rising inside her. “Believe me, I’ve asked myself every possible version of the obvious questions and most of the not so obvious ones, too.”