by Lucy Francis
Travis turned away from her and scrubbed his hand through his hair. “Damn, I can’t win tonight.” He stood and reached for his clothes, yanking them on.
She cringed inside at the anger etched in his expression. Why did she always do that? She’d never learned how to be quiet when she should, preserving someone’s feelings rather than pushing forward in an effort to help. Now she’d pushed too hard. “Travis.”
He thrust his foot into a shoe and pulled his car keys from his pocket, looking disheveled and beyond frustrated. “Andri, I have given everything I have to take care of Danny and protect him, and suddenly everyone is telling me I’ve done it wrong. I already know I’m a failure, I don’t need everyone else piling on.”
She rose, but resisted the urge to crowd him. He raised his palm to her, freezing her in place. “Listen, I can’t do this tonight. I’m angry, and frustrated, and if I don’t leave now, I’m going to say something I’ll regret.”
She crossed her arms over her middle, nodding. He closed the door softly behind him and she let out a heavy sigh. She hated where his head was, but she knew why he was there. What killed her was not knowing how to pull him out of such a vicious cycle. He alone could do that.
She took a fast shower, then lay in bed, staring at the ceiling in the dark. Her people skills could only take her so far, and her man skills clearly didn’t extend this far. Her experiences with an addict, the things she had learned, weren’t the only path to survival, but they were all she had to offer to Travis, to help him in his struggle. Yet, she dreaded the feeling that she was troubleshooting in the dark. She had no idea what to do, going forward, aside from somehow learning to bite her tongue when tempted to give advice.
Good thing she was working again. She found comfort in the world of networks and hardware and software. Those concrete things she understood. Even when something was glitchy in her work world, it was always something built in, something tangible that she could find and fix. People on the other hand…even when she could pinpoint the problem, she couldn’t just swap in a replacement chip or board. Travis would have to fix himself or remain forever tortured.
Why did that nugget of reality have to hurt so much?
Chapter Eleven
Travis sat in the truck after leaving Andri, waiting for the traffic light to change. He hated how he felt, and even worse, he hated that he’d lashed out at Andri. What the hell was wrong with him? Was he trying to push her away? He should be listening to her advice. She’d been there. But his stubborn refusal to fail tripped him up, again and again.
He called before he hit Parley’s Canyon.
“Hi.” Andri sounded reserved. Cool. What did he expect?
“Hey. Thanks for picking up. I half expected to be groveling on voice mail.”
“I much prefer to receive groveling via live connection. In person is best, but I’ll take it over the phone.”
He took the next exit, driving back under the interstate so he could return to the valley. Going home wasn’t an option. He knew where he needed to be. “I have no excuses for lashing out at you. I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”
He waited for a second, then, hastily added, “Let me do that again as soon as I can get back to you. I’ll apologize properly, at your feet. I’ll beg forgiveness on my knees. I’ll do it at your door if you don’t want to let me in.”
She sighed. “Travis. You’ve apologized. It’s okay.”
“Yeah, but it was a phone apology. Lame.”
“Could’ve been worse. You could have texted.”
That made him chuckle in spite of himself, but it was a momentary respite. “Is it okay if I come back to you tonight? I’ll do whatever you want me to.”
She sighed. “Travis. You’re forgiven. Come home to me.”
When she disconnected, he turned his attention to the road, determined to reach her as quickly as he could without being pulled over. This had to stop. He was pushing his luck with her. One of these days, she’d hit breaking point with his attitude, and then she’d be gone for good. He wouldn’t blame her. In fact, he’d have no one but himself to blame, and wasn’t that exactly what he was trying to avoid in the first place? He cursed. He was damned if he did and damned if he didn’t. But for now, for tonight, she was waiting for him. He shut down his thoughts and drove.
****
Travis had been a workaholic since his divorce, and he’d watched Andri put in her share of killer days. In an effort to strengthen what he had with her, Travis made a point of cutting back on the overtime as much as he could over the next couple of weeks to spend time with her. She trimmed her own schedule in return.
One Thursday night, Travis found himself desperately trying to beat Andri on the new first-person-shooter game she’d picked up. Unfortunately, she was a terror with a game controller in her hands and she was kicking his ass.
She was closing in for the kill when her newly adopted gray cat, Fluffball, ripped around the corner of the sofa and pounced on Andri’s bare feet. She shrieked, and Travis took advantage of the distraction of kitty claws and blasted her avatar on screen. “Yes! Nice timing, Fluff.”
Andri shooed the cat away and gave him a dirty look, though the sparkle in her eyes dampened the effect. “You and the cat are ganging up on me. That’s terrific.”
The cat chose that moment to jump up on Travis’s lap and rub his head against his forearm. He scratched Fluffball’s ears. “Guys have to stick together, especially when a girl is beating one of them at a game she shouldn’t be good at.”
Her brows lifted. “That I shouldn’t be good at? Why, because I’m a girl?”
“Anything I say to that is going to be wrong, isn’t it?”
“Probably. Might want to stop while you’re ahead. Best two out of three?”
“You’re on.” His phone rang, startling the cat off his lap. He fished the phone out of his pocket, cursed under his breath, then answered. “Hey, Dan. What’s up?”
“Trav, uh, hey. Are you busy?” His voice sent a tremor through Travis’s gut. He knew that low, not-quite-normal tone, the slight slur in his words.
“Damn you, Daniel. You’re drunk.”
“Um, not entirely. Couple other things all mixed in there too. Listen, I’m kind of in trouble and I need you.”
Andri placed a hand on his thigh, her expression rich with concern. He covered her fingers with his, siphoning strength. “What’s going on? Where are you?”
“I was hanging out with a couple of guys, and more people showed up, and it got outta hand. And I did some stuff, so that was kind of fucked-up, but I could be way more wasted, so that’s good, right?”
“Yeah, that’s a huge improvement. Just a little wasted instead of completely.” He cringed at the cruel edge in his tone, but at the same time, it was all coming to a head now, frustration rushing up from the cauldron deep inside him, threatening to cut off his voice, cut off his air, force him under the torrent. “What do you want from me, Dan?”
“We took a little roadie, so now I’m—oh, where the fuck are we? Oh, yeah. Wendover. I’m broke and I could use some cash. ’Cause, you know, we got a room, but I want to hit the buffet and I think Korbin’s car’s out of gas so that makes getting home tomorrow…oh. Hey, so I’m stuck, I guess. I didn’t drive and that’s a really good thing because I am way not safe on the road right now, but I swear to God, if you get me some cash, I won’t even play roulette. Except I might win, so I could pay you back and then some, right?”
When Travis didn’t respond, Danny said, “Please? Come on, hook me up, Trav.” Someone in the background mumbled something and Danny laughed. “Yeah, hey, don’t sit there doing the pissed off big bro thing. Cut me some slack or I’m gonna be stuck out here.”
God, he was so tired, exhausted deep down to the tattered, dark pit where his threadbare soul huddled against the cold, raging sea. He looked into Andri’s eyes, seeking comfort. As long as he kept giving Danny everything he wanted, when he wanted it, he was never going to learn to take
care of himself. “Danny, you cannot be serious. Why do you think I’ll bail you out of this little adventure?”
What was it that he’d promised himself? When it happened again, he’d send his father. Yes, that was the answer. “Do you have Dad’s cell number?”
Danny swore. “Trav, oh, man, please, I don’t want to talk to Dad right now. Come on, it’s not like I’m asking all that much. Fifty bucks will get me fed and home tomorrow, and I won’t even gamble it. I’ll do anything you want.”
“No. Call Dad.”
Silence stretched over the phone for a moment before Danny cleared his throat. “I can’t. I don’t want him to hate me.”
That stung, fierce and hot, like a stab from a monster wasp. He heard all too clearly what Danny meant—I don’t want him to hate me like you do, Travis. “Look, Dan, it’ll be okay. Just call dad. It’ll be fine. Call him before it gets any later. I’ll talk to you over the weekend.”
He disconnected the call, setting his phone on the arm of the sofa. He leaned into Andri after she placed her game controller on the table. “Tell me I did the right thing.”
She wrapped her arms around him. “Kardia mou. My heart. Everything will be okay.” He chose to let himself believe her. And for that night, making love to her and then sleeping curled around her, cocooned together in her bed with Fluffball sprawled along the bottom of the mattress near Andri’s feet, for that capsule of time, everything was just fine.
Andri had an early meeting, so she left him in bed with Fluffball draped over his legs. He listened to the soft sounds of the world waking up after she closed the door. The cat’s gentle purr combined with the birds in the trees outside the window in a natural lullaby, and he thought perhaps he could drift back to sleep for an hour. He turned, pulling Andri’s pillow to his chest, tucking it under his chin. It carried traces of her scent, vanilla and woman, and it comforted him.
Strange how much a part of him she’d become, like a missing piece of his puzzle had finally been fitted into place. His own shortcomings were blessedly silent and the sense of peace rejuvenated him. Not enough to go back to sleep, though, so he gave up and hit the shower. He stood at the foot of Andri’s bed, toweling off, when his phone rang.
“Travis?” A shimmering thread of terror wove through his mother’s voice, hitting his gut like a shot. “I don’t know what to do. I came down to his office, he’s on the floor—”
Dad. His blood turned to ice. “Did you call the paramedics?”
“No, no, Travis, please, I can’t do this, oh, God, I can’t lose him, too!”
Memories rose of Jacob, of that terrible moment when his parents forced open the bathroom door. He gritted his teeth, pushing the phantoms back. He had to focus. “Mother, I’ll call them, I’ll meet you at the hospital.” He hung up, realizing she wasn’t listening. She’d dissolved into hysteria.
Fear gutted him, leaving his fingers trembling. Travis yanked a black t-shirt over his head, then grabbed his wireless headset from the kitchen counter and hooked it over his ear. He dialed for emergency assistance, giving his parents’ address to the dispatcher as he pulled on his jeans, socks, and boots, then clipped the phone to his belt. He stayed on with the dispatcher as he drove, until the paramedics reached his parents’ home and relayed that his father was alive, and his frantic mother would travel with them to the medical center.
After the dispatcher hung up, Travis tightened his fists around the steering wheel, searching inside for a way to stave off the panic churning through his system. He refocused himself on anger, a tool he could use to stay sharp. He cursed his father for putting off seeing his physician. He cursed himself. Damn, why hadn’t he just taken Dad to his appointment? And what if those moments lost when his mother called him rather than emergency assistance were too precious, the moments dividing a chance at life from certain death?
He refocused again, ordering the logical part of his brain to override the growing fear chilling him from the inside out. There would be paperwork to fill out. Clearly his mother would be in no condition to handle any of those details. And where did Dan fit in all this? Where was he?
An image of Andri slipped forward into his line of thought, a picture of her wrapping her arms around him. The need for her caught like a spark on tinder, flaring, licking along the edge of the growing fear for his father. He’d give anything to crawl into bed with her and block everything else out. But there was too much resting on his shoulders to escape now.
He clenched his jaw, thrusting everything back to the depths inside him. He had to get through whatever lay ahead with his father. He had to take care of his mother, whether she wanted him to or not. He had to track down his brother and get him back on the road to recovery. He’d handle the business via cell phone.
Everything would be fine.
It had to be.
Travis refused to consider any other possibility.
Chapter Twelve
The accountant with the printing problem breathed a huge sigh of relief through the phone at Andri. She silently thanked her lucky stars at the sound of the printer pulling in paper. She closed out the error report on her screen as she said goodbye to the woman on the line. Crisis averted.
She picked up her cell, which had vibrated against her hip three times while she handled the epic printing disaster. Rachel. Must be important. Rachel picked up on the first ring.
“Andri. Have you talked to Travis?” She could hear the van rumbling in the background. Rachel was on the road.
“Not since I left for work, why?” A foreboding shiver ran down her spine.
Rachel cursed at another driver. “Peggy, the office manager, called me. His dad’s in the hospital.”
Oh, no. “What happened?”
“Heart attack.”
The bottom dropped out of her day. Oh, Travis, kardia mou. “Which hospital?”
“That big one in Murray. I’m on my way to Danny’s place to let him know. Brat’s not answering his phone.”
“I’ll get up there as soon as I can.” Andri disconnected, grabbed her purse, and hurried to her assistant’s desk.
Shalyndra looked up as she reached the desk. “What’s up, boss?”
“I’ve got to take off.” She glanced at the clock on the desk. “Call it an early lunch, and I will probably be gone a couple of hours. Think you and Chen can shoulder the load?”
“Sure. Everything okay?”
“I don’t know. My boyfriend’s dad is in the hospital. I’ll check in with you in an hour.”
Andri tapped the button for the elevator, silently cheering when the doors slid open immediately. She stepped in, then groaned as the elevator ignored her basement level request and moved up a floor to the executive level, the need of someone above her apparently more important to the elevator than getting her to the parking garage. She clamped down on her frustration as the door slid open and GlobalTech’s tall, blond CEO, Jamie Mickleson, joined her in the elevator. He smiled down at her as the elevator finally moved in the right direction.
“Hello, Andri. I haven’t had a chance to stop in and check on you, but I’m hearing good things.”
She flashed a quick smile. “Thank you.”
“So, what do you think of GlobalTech? How are you getting along here?”
Distracted, silently cursing each dragging minute that kept her from getting to Travis, she realized he’d asked a question a beat too late. She blurted out, “I love it, thanks for the opportunity.”
His brow knitted, concern shadowing his features. “You sure? Is there a problem?”
Andri clenched her shaking hands, knowing her anxiety must be written on her face. As the boss, Mr. Mickleson would naturally interpret it as work issues. Ugh, damage control. “No, really, work is fantastic. I’m just, um…personal issues. Don’t mind me.”
“Do you need to take the day off?”
She’d only been there a month, taking time off would look even flakier than stealing a long lunch. “It’s okay. I might be ext
ra long at lunch today, though. My boyfriend’s dad had a heart attack this morning—”
Mickleson held up a large hand. “The hours you’re putting in haven’t escaped my notice. If you need time, take it. Anything your team can’t handle will wait. Get out of here.”
She already loved working there, but that won her undying loyalty. “You’re the best. I’ll be in tomorrow.”
The doors opened on the second floor, her boss’s destination, and as he stepped out, he said, “Tomorrow is Saturday. I don’t want to hear that you came in over the weekend.”
She nodded as the doors slid closed.
Worry filled every cell of her body, pulsing with her heartbeat as she reached her car. She found herself praying, a mantra pleading for a good outcome repeating through her mind as she drove. She exited the interstate and worked her way into the chain of parking lots surrounding the massive medical center, her heart aching for the fear and stress Travis must be under. It suddenly felt far longer than a few hours since she’d last seen him. Never in her life had Andri stood by and let someone she cared for suffer alone. No power on earth could make her start now.
She snagged a parking spot as an older couple pulled out. She ran all the way to the information desk, where she was directed to the waiting room nearest the intensive care unit.
The antiseptic scent in the climate-controlled air flooded her with memories of visiting her father in the hospital, during that last few weeks before the doctors recommended hospice care at home. We’ll make the last of his time as painless as we can, the oncologist had said. Let him go with dignity, surrounded by your love.
