The Vexation of Vampires (Penny White Book 5)

by Chrys Cymri

His tentacles turned to point out the window. ‘Them.’

  My eyes went up to the fences, expecting to see lemmings perched on the top. But no rodents met my gaze. Movement along the patio made me look down. And I felt my jaw drop. At least thirty snail sharks were resting across the grass and by the straggly bushes. What amazed me was that some had numbers painted on their shells, but others bore the double wing symbol of the Nation. And they did look, indeed, to be at peace in each other’s company. ‘How did they know to come here?’

  ‘Told them.’

  I glanced at my empty bird feeders. ‘And how are they going to hunt? They’ll clean out all the garden birds in Northampton.’

  ‘Lloegyr. Hunt there.’ He had to pause before adding, ‘Thin place.’

  ‘You can still make thin places in the air? How?’

  Clyde’s body turned purple. ‘Jump.’

  I felt tears once again threaten to spill. Why did I grieve over his wings when he seemed satisfied with his sacrifice? I swallowed hard and leaned close. ‘Just remember, Clyde, it’s really, really important that no one else knows that you can create crossing places. Okay?’

  ‘Secret,’ he agreed. Then he slid from the table and went through the cat flap to the back garden.

  I moved to the window, my shoulders tense. But the snails from the Community did not attack him, and the snails from the Nation showed no signs of worshipping him. Clyde moved from snail to snail, exchanging comments in a flow of colours which I couldn’t even begin to translate. But as I watched him touch one snail with his eyespots, then bend his tentacles to another, I felt something prodding just at the edge of my awareness. There was a word which I was struggling to bring to mind.

  When it came, it was with the strength of a sudden headache. The title whispered through my thoughts as I watched Clyde minister to the snails who had come into his care. Priest.

  I went over to the whisky cabinet, found a bottle of Talisker, and poured myself a stiff drink.

  <><><><><><>

  ‘I’m really grateful for this,’ I told Rosie as she drove me to Ashtrew Church the next day. ‘It’s only for a week, but I didn’t like leaving my car parked outside.’

  Rosie laughed. ‘It’s not a problem, Penny. My diary was free after lunch. But I thought you had other ways of travelling to your Lloegyr parish.’

  ‘There’s a dragon I sometimes use,’ I agreed. ‘But I don't want to ask him all the time. A tacsi dragon will meet me on the other side of the thin place.’

  ‘Remind me, when did you become Vicar General?’ Rose asked as we passed the thatched roof cottages of Ashtrew village. ‘A year ago?’

  ‘Just about. The same time as Bishop Nigel asked you to come to St Wulfram’s to help out as associate priest.’

  ‘A lot has happened since then.’ Rosie pulled the car up alongside the ancient wall which surrounded the church. ‘So, when you’re back, we three need to meet about the wedding. Maybe on a Thursday evening?’

  ‘I’ll check with Peter, but I’m sure that’ll be fine.’ I updated the ‘To do’ list on my iPhone. Then I pressed the off button. ‘No point keeping this on. Not in Lloegyr.’

  ‘Still no signal over there?’

  ‘Nothing gets through.’ I gave her a grin. ‘A real digital detox. James found it really hard.’

  ‘The younger generation,’ Rosie said affectionately. ‘I rely on Facebook to keep up with the grandchildren.’

  I climbed out of the car and walked up the stone path to the church entrance. The new vicar for the benefice unlocked the building himself every morning, so I was able to lift the latch to let myself in.

  The oppressive atmosphere made me shudder. The Gunpowder Plot had been planned nearby, and I was certain this grim history affected the church. The thin place had certainly been created as a result. I walked up the steps into the minstrels’ gallery

  It was best not to think of the crossing ahead of me. I brought a chair up to the wooden rail, climbed on top, took a deep breath, and stepped into air.

  The cold made me grit my teeth, and the darkness hurt my ears. The agony of the men behind the Gunpowder Plot, who had been hung, drawn, and quartered for their crimes, churned through my own guts. I forced myself forward, pushing through the gloom. On the other side would be grass, and flowers, and spring. The unspoiled countryside of Lloegyr.

  Hard ground met my boots. The skies were as grey as in England, but I didn’t care as I lowered myself onto the wet grass. I drew in deep breaths, allowing the moist smell of soil to ease the pounding of my heart.

  ‘My magnificent Penny, there’s no need to prostrate yourself at my feet.’

  The familiar voice gave new energy to my legs. I pushed myself into a stand. ‘Raven. What are you doing here?’

  The dragon cocked his head, scales shifting between green and black. ‘Wondering why you would ever consider riding a tacsi dragon, my dear Penny, when you know that I am always yours to command.’

  The idea of Raven obeying anyone made me snort. ‘And how did you know I’d be here?’

  ‘A passing rat told me.’

  ‘You seem to have a special connection with rats.’

  ‘Not so.’ He arched his neck. ‘I am a search dragon. I can always find rats who carry messages which are of interest to me. And you are always of interest to me, Penny.’

  I brushed grass from my dark trousers. ‘This is the long way around to Caer-grawnt.’

  ‘No flight with you is too long.’ Raven lowered his head, bringing his red-rimmed nostrils near my face. ‘But there is something I’d like to show you. Are you open to a detour?’

  I hesitated. There was work to do in Caer-grawnt, which included making sure that James had started his packing. And my last flight on the dragon’s neck was still an alarming memory. Raven brought one gleaming eye near mine, and I saw myself reflected in the blue-green iris. His enticing scent of grass and wood smoke drifted across my face. I felt my objections dissolving. ‘If it’s no more than a couple of hours. Lord Willis is expecting me to join him this evening for dinner.’

  ‘Time and plenty of time.’ Raven held out a foreleg.

  I climbed up, my boots scuffing against his smooth hide. When I was in my usual place between two spines, he kicked us away from the ground.

  After a few minutes, I felt myself relaxing. So far, no sign of the previous erratic flying. In fact, Raven seemed to be on his best form. He found an air current and for awhile we simply glided over forests and fields. Then he beat his wings and lifted us upwards. We passed through one thin place, then almost immediately crossed another one.

  Blue skies greeted us. I glanced at the angle of the sun, and decided that we had remained in roughly the same time zone. Mountains hulked on either side of us, snow still clinging to sides and peaks. Large lakes glittered at their feet. The air was chilly, and I was glad to be wearing a coat.

  Raven tilted a wing and sent us into a steady downward spiral. We were heading into a valley. Green grass tufted between clumps of grey rock, and a forest straggled along the nearby mountainside. A lake filled the opposite side. It was only as we came nearer that I saw the long-abandoned house, the lack of roof and the tumbled down walls resting across the ground like a decaying jawbone. Black marked the stones, showing that fire had accelerated the building’s destruction.

  We landed nearby. I slid from Raven’s neck, my boots striking against hard stone. A breeze tugged at my hair. ‘Where are we?’ I asked.

  ‘On my land.’

  I stared at him. ‘You own land?’

  ‘I conquered it. From a tribe of trolls.’ Raven stabbed his muzzle at a far ridge. ‘From this mountain to the next, all of this is mine.’

  ‘Why would you want to fight trolls?’ I sighed. ‘Let me guess. Because you were bored.’

  ‘No. For Audrey’s safety.’

  ‘Audrey?’

  The green-blue eyes were intent on my own. ‘The first woman I ever loved.’

  I staggered over to
a wall. The stones took my weight, creaking only slightly in protest. ‘A human woman?’

  His jaws opened in a grin. ‘My dear Penny, surely you know my tastes by now? Yes, a human woman.’

  I turned my head to look into the broken building. ‘Why on Earth would she want to live here?’

  ‘She fell through an air crossing, and this is where she landed.’

  My legs had recovered some of their strength. I rose to my feet, and walked around to what had once been the front entrance. The gap was certainly wide enough to allow a dragon inside. ‘How long were you together?’

  ‘Long enough. But there were things I couldn’t give her, and so she left.’

  I waited a moment. Then, as it was so obviously expected of me, I asked, ‘What sorts of things?’

  ‘Children.’

  ‘Well, of course, in a mixed species relationship, what else can you expect…’ I stopped my blabbering and took a deep breath. ‘I’m sorry to hear that. You took her back home?’

  ‘To what had been her home, yes. I believe she was able to resume her earlier life.’ His tail slapped the ground. ‘She walked away, and I never saw her again.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I said again, this time meaning it. ‘Relationship break-ups—they’re hard.’

  ‘Indeed, they are. But necessary, if one party cannot give the other their greatest desire.’

  ‘Good for you. Letting her go, when you could’ve trapped her here.’

  Raven snorted. ‘Why should I have wanted to trap her? She would only have resented me, for denying her the freedom to find someone who could fulfil her dreams.’

  I stepped into the house. The flagstone floor was still in place. A wooden table, the top rotting away, stood near the brick hearth. The room had been a combined kitchen and living room, I realised. Beyond was another room, which held the remains of a bed. I had to admit, I wouldn’t have chosen to remain in such a remote area.

  ‘Well, it’s all very interesting,’ I said as I wandered back out. ‘I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you. Was there anything else you wanted me to see, or shall we head off to Caer-grawnt?’

  Raven pointed ears and horns towards me. ‘Emily, and William. That’s what Peter wants to name them. His children.’

  ‘And you know that how?’

  ‘Peter has had a number of flights on my back,’ Raven reminded me. ‘And he talks about many things. Including his plans for his marriage, and his hopes for a family. You’ve flown with me many more times than he has, but you’ve never mentioned your plans.’

  ‘Why should I?’

  Raven cocked his head. ‘What names do you plan to give your children?’

  My hands balled into fists. I placed them on my hips and glowered at the dragon. ‘Put out your leg. It’s time to take me to Caer-grawnt.’

  ‘And he’s hopeful of a promotion soon,’ Raven continued. ‘Just in time for you to resign from the Church and give him children. You’ll be a lovely homemaker, my shiny Penny.’

  I marched up to his side. ‘Leg. Now.’

  Raven chuckled. ‘Something you don't wish to discuss, circumspect Penny?’

  ‘Something I’m not going to discuss with you,’ I said firmly.

  I mounted his neck and had barely lowered myself into place when Raven set off in a trot. The bouncing pace jarred my back. The blue-green wings unfurled, and after several down sweeps we lifted from the ground. I relaxed into my seat.

  The flight passed silently and uneventfully. Raven took us through several thin places, eventually ending up just above my vicarage in Northampton. There he used the crossing which Clyde had carved into the sky to take us directly to Caer-grawnt.

  Afternoon sun slanted past high clouds as we emerged above the St George’s vicarage. Raven followed the road down into the town. Many of the low-lying houses bore new roofs, erected after the recent snail shark attack. Perhaps it was just as well that Clyde had remained in England. I couldn't imagine that the townspeople would easily accept one of his kind living amongst them, even though Clyde had not been one of the invaders.

  Raven landed into a canter on the meadow behind Lord Willis’ mansion. I gritted my teeth as he slowed to a trot, then to a walk. It was a relief to drop down into the soft grass.

  ‘See you Thursday,’ Raven told me.

  ‘You’re still planning to bring Peter?’

  ‘Of course.’ He was laughing again. ‘It’s in my best interest to ensure you two have plenty of time together.’ Then he was gone before I could say anything more.

  Chapter Five

  Our evening meal took place in the formal dining room at the mansion. Lord Willis stood at the head of the table, lowering his muzzle to graze from a bowl of fresh grass and herbs. James and I sat across from each other, several seats down. Jago stood at my brother’s left hand, the gryphon’s bright colours reflecting in the highly polished silverware which marched across the dark wood.

  I took my time over dinner. Soon enough I’d be back in England, where all of the cooking was down to me. Memories of mushrooms in a garlic and brandy cream, roast pheasant in red wine, and chocolate chip cheesecake would no doubt haunt me as I heated up yet another pasta sauce.

  A couple of hours and a change of clothing had done little to remove the sting of Raven’s words. So it was only as coffee was being poured that I realised that Jago sat next to an empty plate. ‘What have you been eating?’ I asked him.

  ‘Steak and chips,’ the gryphon answered. ‘But there wasn’t any ketchup.’

  ‘I used up the bottle this morning,’ James agreed cheerfully.

  ‘If you were staying longer,’ Lord Willis said, ‘I’d arrange for some to be brought over from your world. But there won’t be any demand for it once you’ve returned home.’

  ‘You have regular trade with England?’ I asked.

  ‘There are several merchants who cross between our countries, yes. They bring over all the essentials. Ketchup, baked beans, wine, whisky.’

  I winced. ‘You know us all too well.’

  Lord Willis dipped his head. ‘You’ve lived under my roof for nearly a month.’

  ‘And I’m arranging for his products to come across to us,’ James said. ‘We’re aiming to have the first shipment land sometime in August.’

  ‘Land?’

  James grinned. ‘Air freight. We’re employing dragons. Don’t worry, we’ve found a really remote place for our warehouse, and it’s only a short flight from a crossing. The search dragon’s charging double for acting as navigator, of course.’

  Jago leaned back, and his talons flicked as he told James something in sign language. James replied, his hands moving over his face and chest. ‘Excuse us,’ my brother said, pushing his chair back. Jago flew up to his shoulder as they left the room.

  The setting sun was painting clouds with fire. I rose and went to the windows to admire the sight. Lord Willis walked over to join me, his short beard hovering a few inches from my right ear. ‘When are you leaving, Father Penny?’

  ‘Monday. The day after my last service in St George’s.’

  ‘The house will feel very quiet,’ the unicorn mused. ‘No young gryphons perfecting flight in the hall. No hymn singing from a snail shark. No cursing from your brother when he discovers that the bath water is already cold.’

  I bit my lip. ‘I’m sorry about that.’

  Lord Willis chuckled. ‘James is old enough now that you needn’t apologise for him. He also has a good head for business. I’ll at least see him and Jago regularly.’

  Despite the light shining through the window, his coat had a dull quality. I hesitated, then asked, ‘Are you lonely, Lord Willis?’

  ‘I cut myself off from land and herd,’ he replied. ‘I have only myself to blame.’

  I placed a palm on his back. The skin twitched under my fingers. ‘You’ve also done good things for your herd, and for many others besides.’

  ‘We bear the cost of caring for our people.’ The unicorn’s ears flick
ed in his version of a smile. ‘At least you won’t be alone, Father Penny. Inspector Jarvis is a fine and honourable man, and I’m pleased that you two are to marry. And, speaking of which, would you kindly follow me?’

  My hand slipped away as Lord Willis turned. He led me from the dining room and across the wood-panelled hallway. Servants firing up gas lamps stopped to give him quick bows. One scurried ahead of us to open the door to a side room.

  Yellow light flickered on dishes laid out across a circular table. As it seemed expected of me, I walked over and inspected one of each set. The china was white, and finely detailed designs chased around the edges. Dragons flamed their way on the large plates. The small plates featured rearing unicorns. Gryphons flew around the large serving bowls. The small bowls, I noted with a smile, celebrated the snail shark. The sharp teeth had been expertly painted.

  ‘Your wedding present,’ Lord Willis told me. ‘They’ll be carefully wrapped, and delivered to your home at a time convenient to yourself.’

  ‘They are beautiful.’ I resisted the temptation to give him a hug. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘It is I, and this town, who must thank you. As I told your new curate earlier today.’

  I nearly dropped the cup I was holding. Which would have been a shame, as I had never seen such a beautiful drawing of merpeople. ‘My new curate?’

  ‘Skylar Grey, yes. Charming vampire.’ He snorted softly. ‘Although she does talk a lot.’

  ‘I’ve only met her the once. Very briefly. Only on my doorstep, and then she hurried off again.’

  ‘She and I have much in common.’ At my look, Lord Willis explained, ‘We both lost home and herd.’

  Before I could question him further, the clump of boots on tiles announced that James had returned. Jago flew in ahead of him, a purple and grey blur which landed on the unicorn’s back. ‘Red sun,’ the gryphon said happily. ‘Good day tomorrow.’

  ‘That old saying,’ James explained. “Red sky at night, shepherds’ delight. Red sky in morning, shepherds’ warning.”’

  I found myself both smiling and tearful. ‘Dad used to say that all the time.’