Undone by His Touch
Page 15
Declan looked at the soft pouch in his palm. It was weighty yet small. He tore it open and tipped out the contents. His breath stalled as he took in a familiar green glow. He stroked hard, perfect facets.
Slowly, reluctantly, realisation dawned.
‘Declan! Are you all right? Will I get a doctor?’
Declan raised his hand. ‘I’m fine.’
‘You’re not. You’re white as a sheet. Is it your leg?’
Declan shook his head, eyes still fixed on the contents of the package. ‘I’m OK, David,’ he lied. ‘Why don’t you pack up for the night? It’s very late.’
His PA hesitated but finally Declan was alone. He turned the bracelet over. It was the most expensive piece in his mother’s collection: huge emeralds of exquisite quality surrounded by myriad diamonds and flawless pearls. A stunning piece of jewellery worth a rajah’s ransom.
Light dazzled off it and raw pain sliced through him.
If Chloe was a gold digger on the make, why would she return several million dollars’ worth of jewellery?
Declan had a sickening feeling his instinct about her had been right. That he’d made a terrible mistake.
Chloe hurried across the marble and glass foyer of the apartment building, aiming to catch an early train to the mountains. It had been a long week since she’d seen Ted.
Exiting onto the pavement, she stumbled to a halt, eyes widening. A gleaming, low-slung car was pulled up at the kerb. Declan leant against it, arresting with his dark looks, casual leather jacket and long, nonchalantly crossed denim-clad legs. He was the picture of potent masculinity, his scar adding an undercurrent of intrigue and danger.
Chloe blinked and turned away, her pulse hammering. She had to stop responding to the sight of him. But it was easier said than done.
‘Wait.’ He straightened, staggering a fraction as he took his weight on his bad leg. Another step and he stood tall, as if that stumble had never happened.
Yet it stopped Chloe in her tracks. Declan had persuaded everyone that, apart from his facial scar, he was fully recovered. It was only in private, when he thought himself alone, that she sometimes noticed him limp at the end of a long day.
That reminded her of the other scars he carried, unseen, the grief that drove him and softened her contempt for his behaviour.
‘What is it, Declan?’
‘I’m going to Carinya. I can give you a lift to see your foster father.’
She swung round, meeting his shuttered gaze full on. He looked drawn, his features pared back to stark planes.
‘How do you know that’s where I’m headed?’ Was he having her followed?
‘It’s your day off.’ Her suspicion must have shown, for he shook his head. ‘The concierge told me.’
‘Why should we travel together?’ True, they’d shared the penthouse for weeks, but as strangers. The strain of it drew her nerves almost to breaking point.
Running away would have been the easy option, if only she’d been able to bring herself to do it.
He stiffened. ‘It’s only for an hour or so. I’ll have you there much faster than the train so you’ll have more time for your visit.’
He was right. She was travelling against the daily commute and instead of an express she’d be stopping at almost every station.
‘Besides, I want to talk with you.’
Chloe crossed her arms. ‘So talk.’
He shook his head, stepping back as a woman walking a pair of dogs with jewelled collars slowed to pass. Behind her came two men in suits and a jogger.
‘Not here. We need privacy.’
He was right. But to be cooped up in his luxury car all the way to the Blue Mountains? Breathing in his familiar spicy scent that, to her chagrin, still sent awareness tingling through her?
‘Chloe.’ He took a step forward then stopped, his face unreadable. But he couldn’t mask the rough edge of emotion in his voice. It sounded like a plea.
Her breath quickened. What did he want? To tell her he was ready to see the truth about her and Adrian? Wishful thinking. How could she expect him to believe the woman he’d slept with one night over the brother he’d known a lifetime? She had no tangible proof. Besides, grief didn’t pass so easily, nor, in her experience, the need to blame.
Unless Declan was stronger than she’d been when she’d lost Mark.
Yet hadn’t he ejected one of his dinner guests because he’d pawed her? If Declan despised her he’d have accused her of seducing Daniel, or left her to fend for herself.
‘Please, Chloe.’ His ebony eyes met hers and heat shivered through her, igniting again that spark of connection. How could it still be so strong between them?
Everything she’d learned from his friends and colleagues indicated Declan was fair and honest. That he was clear sighted and generous. Was there a chance he might finally accept the truth?
She feared she was hopelessly optimistic.
Yet she yearned still for the man she’d fallen in love with. Love was too precious to set aside as if it had never existed.
She owed it to herself, and him, to try one last time.
Nevertheless, she had to force herself to get into his car. She trembled as she brushed past him and felt the heat of his body. Declan had hurt her, flayed her pride and her self-respect, betrayed her trust. Even knowing the pain that drove him, it was hard to put herself in his hands.
They drove silently through the city, except for the low, purring growl of the car. Declan seemed in no hurry to talk. Chloe stared at the city streets, anything rather than watch his clean, powerful profile or his capable hands on the wheel.
They were on the freeway heading west when finally he spoke.
‘Thank you for taking care of Sophia.’
Surprised, Chloe turned to watch him. ‘It was no bother.’
Sophia had emerged rumpled and sheepish from the guest suite on the morning after the dinner party, well after Declan’s early start at the office. She’d been appalled at her behaviour the previous night, drinking too much and flirting outrageously to spite her ex-partner.
‘She’s not usually so … impulsive.’ Declan shafted a direct stare at Chloe.
‘I gathered that.’ Just as she gathered Declan had been gentle but firm in rejecting her. He’d swept her to a guest suite to sleep off the effects of alcohol and misery.
Some men would have accepted what Sophia offered, even knowing she was drunk.
But Declan had behaved honourably.
Chloe remembered Sophia’s praise for him over a late breakfast; it echoed what she’d heard from David and his associates. All thought him a paragon; a dynamo in business and an upstanding man.
Only with her did he show a dark side. To have seduced her, slept with her, opened up all those emotions and hopes it had taken years to suppress and then reject her …
‘I’m grateful to you.’ Tension edged his voice.
‘It was nothing.’ Organising fresh clothes, providing a sympathetic ear—none of it had been any trouble.
He shot her a gleaming look she wished she could read then concentrated on swinging the car up the first wide sweep of the incline to the mountains. It hugged the ground and Chloe realised with a frisson of shock that, despite all that horsepower under the bonnet, she’d never felt safer.
She drew a deep, fortifying breath. ‘Was that all you wanted to discuss?’
‘No, not all.’ Even to his ears he sounded terse.
Could he blame lack of sleep? He’d only had one decent night’s sleep lately—the night of the party when he’d dreamed Chloe had come to him. He’d woken to a sense of peace that had made a mockery of his distrust.
But the real reason for insomnia was his conscience.
Chloe looked so fragile. Lately she’d been pale but today she seemed as delicate as hand-blown glass. She’d walked from the apartment building and his gut had tightened as he saw the tension in her slim frame and the way her mouth turned down as if with grim thoughts.
His fault. He’d caused her distress.
The knowledge ate like acid. He remembered her poise and dignity even when he’d heaped the burden of his own guilt on her. He’d lashed out viciously. His skin crawled at the memory of all he’d said and done.
Because he’d needed a scapegoat for his pain, he’d made her suffer.
His hands grew clammy on the wheel, his heart thudding roughly against his ribs.
‘Declan?’ The low cadence of her voice stroked like velvet.
Abruptly he signalled, pulled over to the side of the road and switched off the engine. His hands shook. Had he subconsciously chosen to speak to her as he drove so he wouldn’t have to look her in the eye?
Inwardly, he cringed. Chloe deserved better.
Declan turned to face her, his gaze roving with a freedom he hadn’t allowed himself in weeks.
‘I owe you an apology.’
She stared mutely, her eyes wide pools of shock.
‘I’ve treated you appallingly.’
‘You have.’ Her brow pleated as if she didn’t quite believe what she was hearing. Who could blame her?
‘I acted out of shock.’ And, he admitted now, out of sheer green-eyed jealousy. Some champion he’d been for Adrian. All this time he’d been jealous of his brother.
‘I don’t understand. What, exactly, are you apologising for?’
Chloe sat stiffly, obviously unwilling to take his words at face value. He reached out for her unresisting hand. It felt firm and capable, marked by work yet slender and feminine. His fingers closed tight around it.
‘Everything.’ He dragged a huge breath into his constricted lungs.
‘I said I’d slept with you because I knew you’d betrayed Adrian. That my sight had come back and I wanted to test how easily you’d give yourself to a man with money who could make life easy.’
She tried to tug back her hand but he gripped it in both his, not flinching from her glare. He deserved her wrath.
‘You were despicable.’
‘I lied, Chloe.’
‘What?’
Part of him wanted to find hope in the fact she looked so stunned. As if she couldn’t believe him guilty of an untruth. After all he’d put her through …
‘I lied. Out of fury and shock. I despise myself for it. I lashed out because I was angrier than I’d ever been in my life and I wanted to inflict some of the hurt I was feeling.’
‘On me.’ Fire blazed in her eyes. He almost welcomed it after her cool distance.
He nodded. ‘On you. I’m sorry.’ He drew another mighty breath and laid the truth before her. He’d never behaved so badly in his life and he’d regretted it ever since, especially when he saw the pain in her eyes.
‘I went to bed with you because I was desperate for you. That’s all. There was no plot, no test.’ His hold tightened. ‘I wanted you, Chloe, as I’ve never wanted any woman.’ Her expression froze in disbelief.
‘Just the sound of your voice or a hint of your fragrance as you passed turned me hard with need.’ Declan’s blood heated now, merely from touching her hands. For weeks he’d kept his distance, fearing what might happen if he got too close to the woman who stirred such strong reactions.
‘I was trying to keep a lid on what I felt.’
Chloe scrutinised Declan’s drawn face, reading regret and shame. His big frame tensed as if awaiting rejection. His hands on hers were firm but the tiniest of tremors passed through them.
Fear.
That was what she read in his face. Not just guilt and regret but, remarkably, fear.
Why? Fear she wouldn’t forgive him?
Surely that couldn’t be. Yet her heart tumbled hard as she grappled with this new Declan.
‘I didn’t regain my sight till after we’d slept together.’ The admission sucked the breath from her lungs.
‘The next day I recognised you from Adrian’s photo. I was a coward.’ He halted, grimacing. ‘I didn’t want to face you so I left.’
‘Really?’ She hardly dared believe. It had been bad enough to face Declan’s accusations but worse by far had been the belief he’d deliberately seduced her in a tawdry test of character. Even now, the idea of being used like that sent a shiver of shame through her.
‘You made me feel cheap.’
‘I’m sorry, Chloe, more than I can say.’ He leaned in, his voice urgent. ‘I should never have let you believe it, even for a moment.’
‘No,’ she whispered, reliving the terrible searing pain of betrayal. ‘You shouldn’t.’
‘There’s no excuse for what I did. All I can say is that I regret it. That I’d do anything to make it up to you.’
Chloe stared. Declan was so intense, his words obviously heartfelt.
A tiny flicker of light flared in her battered heart.
‘Why tell me now?’ Steadfastly she concentrated on his words, not the feel of his strong hands enfolding hers or the fact she hadn’t tugged hers away. She’d yearned for him to see the truth. Could her hopes be coming true?
‘I couldn’t lie any longer.’
His gaze seared hers. ‘I’ve had doubts from the first. Every time I lashed myself into a fury about what you’d supposedly done I remembered how you’d been with me. Not seeking anything, just being yourself, caring and supportive, but always your own woman. I saw you interact with my friends. I saw your poise and strength in the face of my accusations, the way you rose above the worst of my behaviour.’
The naked emotion in his now unguarded eyes stunned her. He really meant it.
Could she forgive him? Her heart thudded faster.
‘Then last night something happened that made me confront everything I thought I knew about you.’
His thumb stroked her palm, sending shivers of delicious sensation tingling through her.
She shouldn’t let him touch her. He’d hurt her so badly. Yet she longed for his tenderness. Even now, trying hard to keep her distance, she relished his gentle caress almost as much as the salve of his words.
‘Tell me.’ Her nerves stretched taut in mingled expectation and fear of disappointment.
‘The bracelet arrived. The one you returned.’
Chloe frowned. ‘But I posted that to Adrian months ago. The day after I left Carinya. I’d told him I couldn’t accept it,’ she added quickly. ‘But when I unpacked my things I found it stowed amongst my jewellery.’
She shuddered, remembering the shock of seeing it amongst her meagre collection of earrings. Adrian had obviously ignored her refusal and felt no qualms about rifling through her belongings to place it where he believed it belonged.
Declan shrugged. ‘It never reached him. It got delivered to the firm’s legal office and then news arrived of his death.’ His voice hollowed but he continued. ‘Some junior clerk sat on it, wondering what to do with it. I received it just last night.’
He leaned closer, his gleaming eyes intent.
‘It’s worth a fortune. If you’d been a gold digger trying to get wealthy from the Carstairs brothers you’d never have returned it.’
‘I told you I wasn’t interested in your money.’ Her mouth firmed.
‘I know.’ He swallowed hard. ‘I’m sorry, Chloe. Sorry for all the hurt I’ve caused. All along I’ve wished—’ He broke off, shaking his head.
‘So you believe me now?’
‘I believe you.’ His deep voice made it a pledge.
A shimmer of excitement rose within her. She’d never seen Declan look so earnest, yet she needed the words.
‘Tell me.’
Declan looked into her clear green eyes and felt himself slide into temptation. How badly he needed her. He’d always needed her. Yet he forced himself to continue, not pull her to him as he’d dreamed of doing so long.
‘I know you never schemed for money. I know you never deliberately enticed me or Adrian.’
Her natural warmth and generosity were enough to attract any man. Look at the way his guests had hung on her every word.
‘I know you’re honest and that I hurt you. Badly.’
His heart hammered as he watched emotions flit across her neat features. He stroked her hand possessively. He told himself he’d stop in a moment, that he’d just allow himself one final touch.
‘I apologise, Chloe. Even knowing how your relationship with Adrian affected him, I was wrong to blame you. No one could have foreseen …’
‘What did you say?’ She stiffened.
‘What happened wasn’t your fault.’ It might tear him apart to think of her with Ade but that was his problem, not hers. ‘Obviously he was vulnerable with the loss of everything he’d worked for. He must have built up unreal expectations of his relationship with you—’
‘His relationship with me?’ Her voice held an odd, detached note.
He hurried to reassure her. ‘I understand, Chloe. Adrian was good-looking and charming. You weren’t to know he was … unstable.’ Even now the word dried his mouth as if he’d swallowed ashes.
‘I told you I wasn’t your brother’s lover.’
‘It’s OK, Chloe. I don’t blame you.’ If anyone was to blame it was Declan. He was Adrian’s brother. He should have made it his business to check on him in person, not rely on long distance calls while he finished his business overseas. He should have done so much more.
‘You still think Adrian and I had an affair?’
Declan frowned. ‘I know you did. Adrian said so. He took photos of you in bed.’ Bile rose at the memory.
Chloe yanked her hand free and shrank against the door. Her face turned milk-white.
‘I told you, they were taken without permission. He came to my room and took photos while I slept. I felt unclean when I saw what he’d done.’
Declan shook his head. ‘Don’t. Please.’ His gut twisted. Couldn’t she just accept that he understood? Why continue to deny it?
‘I’ve never lied to you, Declan.’
He gazed into her clear eyes and regret welled. His heart thumped a discordant beat and tension sank its talons into his flesh.
He didn’t want this. He was trying to do the right thing.
When she spoke again her voice was leaden, like the cold weight in his belly. ‘Why will you believe everything else, but not that? Why insist Adrian and I were lovers?’