My Mother's Secret

by Sheila O'Flanagan

  ‘That’s not true.’

  ‘You agreed with me about kids at the start. You changed.’

  ‘Perhaps I thought you’d change too. Seeing you with Summer has made me realise what a big mistake that was. I’m sorry.’

  ‘So being sorry …’ He looked at her. ‘Does that mean you want things to go back to the way they were?’

  ‘Of course not.’ She sipped her wine. ‘It’s too late for that. I want a family. I wanted it to be with you, but it’s not what you want. That’s what I’m sorry about.’

  ‘I haven’t had a great experience when it comes to family life,’ he said. ‘Mum and Dad …’

  ‘You’re not the only person whose parents had a crap marriage,’ she told him. ‘And you lived with me, in reasonable stability, for eight years.’

  ‘We could still be together,’ he said.

  She raised an eyebrow. ‘How would Summer feel about that?’

  ‘I like her a lot. But you can see yourself that she’s not the settling-down kind.’

  ‘Which must be ideal for you, because if I recall correctly, you told me that’s what you didn’t want to do.’

  ‘I said I didn’t want to be the sort of married-with-kids couple my parents were.’

  ‘Well, no chance of that when you wouldn’t talk about our fertility issues either.’

  ‘I didn’t want to be bludgeoned into going through tests and God knows what else when I wasn’t ready. And I didn’t like you going behind my back to get yourself checked out either.’

  ‘I was looking after my own health,’ she said. ‘Which I was perfectly entitled to do without you behaving as though I’d signed up for IVF on the spot!’

  ‘It was supposed to be a joint thing.’ His tone was stubborn.

  ‘I know you’re angry about what I did,’ said Bernice. ‘But it’s my body.’

  ‘Is it my fault?’ he asked abruptly. ‘Am I the reason?’

  She thought again of the piece of paper in her bag. The results that she’d brought, not knowing if she’d intended to give them to him or not. Thinking that if she did, it would be a real jaw-dropping moment for everyone at the party.

  She got up from her seat and looked at him.

  ‘If you want the answer to that question, you should go and get tested yourself,’ she said. Then she turned away and walked back into the house.

  Chapter 30

  When Steffie woke up, she was alone in the bed. She had no idea of the time, but there was a faint light filtering into the room. She sat upright, listening for sounds of Liam moving around. But the flat was silent and so she pushed the covers away, got out of bed and opened the curtains. It had stopped raining, although there were still some large grey clouds in the sky. Even as she stood there, however, the rising sun flecked them with a warm orange glow and the patches of blue between them grew bigger. But the road outside was still wet and the potholes remained full of water. She wondered if it had receded in the ditch where she’d abandoned her car. She’d have to deal with that as soon as possible.

  Her discarded underwear was on the floor beside her and she picked up her bra and knickers before going into the tiny bathroom. She realised the power must still be out because the water from the electric shower was nothing more than a cool trickle. She hopped around beneath it for a minute before switching it off and drying herself with one of the two bath towels on the rail. Then she put on her party dress again. She pulled her fingers through her curls and walked downstairs, once again in her bare feet.

  Although it was only six thirty, Liam was already in the restaurant, mopping the floor. At first she thought he was simply cleaning it, and then she saw that the entire floor was under water.

  ‘Oh my God,’ she said. ‘Don’t tell me you’ve been flooded! You’re on a hill here; how on earth did that happen?’

  Liam rested his chin on the handle of the mop. ‘Not from the ground up,’ he told her. ‘From the top down. The roof is leaking.’

  Steffie glanced upwards.

  ‘That’s the trouble with flat roofs,’ said Liam. ‘Water can gather and if there’s a weakness it’ll find it. I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner.’

  ‘Did it do much damage?’ asked Steffie.

  ‘It’s not too bad,’ replied Liam. ‘But the banquettes are soaked and they’ll take some time to dry. I’ll send emails to the diners who had reservations for today. It won’t all be dried out in time, and besides, I’ve no power.’

  ‘What about the food?’ asked Steffie. ‘Won’t it spoil?’

  ‘The temperature in the cold storage room will stay low for a while yet,’ said Liam. ‘But I’m hoping they’ll have it restored soon. Either way, though, I’m closing for today.’

  ‘Will that be very costly for you?’

  ‘It’s just one day,’ he said. ‘A pity it’s a Sunday, but there’s nothing I can do about it.’

  ‘Can I help with anything?’

  ‘Are you good with a mop?’

  She grinned. ‘It wouldn’t be my number-one thing. But I’ll manage.’

  ‘There’s another one in the cupboard over there,’ he said.

  They spent the next half-hour in silence as they worked on cleaning up. At least it wasn’t muddy flood water, Steffie thought as she squeezed the mop into her bucket. It wouldn’t take long to get the restaurant back to normal. When they’d finished, Liam told her he’d make some pancakes for breakfast.

  ‘I thought you had no power,’ she said as she followed him into the kitchen, which he’d already cleared of broken glass.

  ‘It’s a gas hob,’ he explained.

  ‘Of course. I’m an idiot.’

  He smiled at her.

  ‘Do you want me to do a notice?’ she asked as she watched him get the ingredients together.

  ‘What sort?’

  ‘To stick on the window. In case people come to the restaurant anyway.’

  ‘That would be useful,’ he agreed. ‘There’s a little office through that door. You’ll find paper in the printer tray and pens in the cup on the desk. Tomorrow is our day off, so we won’t be open till Tuesday.’

  Steffie went into the office, returning a short time later with some A4 sheets on which she’d inscribed the words ‘Closed Due to Flood Damage. Business as Usual on Tuesday’ and sketched a line picture of a man with a mop.

  ‘That’s fantastic,’ he said as she stuck them up. ‘You’d think it was printed.’

  ‘Hopefully you will be able to open on Tuesday.’

  ‘Fingers crossed. Here you go.’ Liam handed her a plate on which he’d placed three pancakes and a small ramekin of whipped cream, along with a variety of chopped fresh fruits.

  ‘This looks gorgeous,’ she said.

  ‘It’s meant to.’

  ‘I don’t normally eat much for breakfast.’

  ‘You should, you know. It’s the most important meal of the day.’

  ‘So the experts say. But I’m not usually one for food until at least ten. And being honest with you, I don’t see six thirty in the morning very often.’

  ‘It’s not my thing either,’ he admitted. ‘But I woke up and I thought I heard the sound of dripping water so I came downstairs to investigate. Although,’ he added, ‘I would’ve much preferred to stay where I was. I could’ve done far more interesting things there.’

  She felt herself blush as her eyes met his. Neither of them spoke, and then he leaned over and touched her cheek. She felt a jolt of electricity run through her as his finger glided across her skin and came to rest on her lips. They remained immobile for a moment and then she closed her mouth around it.

  ‘You taste of sugar and strawberries,’ she whispered.

  ‘Is that a good thing?’

  She nodded. ‘Why don’t we delay breakfast?’

  Liam took the plate from her hand and put it on a table. Then, as he’d done a few hours earlier, he picked her up and carried her up the stairs.

  ‘Sure?’ he asked as he placed he
r gently on the bed. ‘In the cold light of day?’

  ‘It’s the warm light of morning,’ she said. ‘And I’m certain.’

  ‘I need to sort everyone out.’ Roisin had already been up half an hour before Paul opened his eyes. ‘I don’t know what people want to do about getting home.’

  ‘They can just go,’ Paul mumbled from beneath the duvet, where Dougie was still sleeping. ‘You don’t need to do anything else for them.’

  ‘I have to say goodbye,’ said Roisin.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘It’s good manners.’

  ‘What time is it?’ asked Paul.

  ‘A little after nine.’

  ‘What! We’ve only been in bed a few hours. They’ll all still be asleep.’

  ‘Maybe. But I can tidy up.’

  ‘Around them?’

  ‘Whatever.’

  ‘You go and sort things if you want,’ said Paul. ‘I’m staying here for a bit longer.’

  He pulled the covers further over his head.

  Roisin opened the bedroom door and walked quietly down the stairs. The first person she saw was Summer, stretched out on one of the two sofas, a blanket around her shoulders. In sleep, she looked almost as young as Daisy, her face unlined and untroubled, her long dark lashes sweeping her dewy cheeks.

  Bernice, on the other hand – and on the other sofa – was managing to look tired despite being asleep. Her red hair was tangled and her eyes were smudged with mascara. Roisin thought she’d been crying and her heart hardened against Carl. She was convinced that the whole ‘on a break’ thing had been his idea.

  There was nobody in the kitchen. She filled the kettle and switched it on, then realised that the power was still out. She poured herself a large glass of water and began to tidy up, putting empty beer cans into one plastic bag for recycling and empty wine bottles into another, and then stacking glasses in the dishwasher for later. She’d just closed the door when Colette walked into the room wearing her now crumpled black and yellow dress but looking, Roisin thought, happier than she’d seen her in ages.

  ‘I’m going to head back to town,’ Colette told her.

  ‘I can’t offer you tea or coffee before you go because there’s no electricity,’ said Roisin.

  ‘It doesn’t matter,’ said Colette. ‘I’m not the sort of person who needs caffeine in the morning to get going.’

  ‘Plus you weren’t drinking last night so you’re not hung-over. Lucky you.’

  ‘Indeed.’

  ‘I was going to make some sandwiches,’ said Roisin. ‘I thought people could do with some food inside them before they go. Though perhaps not if they have particularly sore heads.’

  ‘You should chill a bit, Roisin,’ said Colette. ‘You don’t have to look after everyone. If they have sore heads, it’s their own fault.’

  ‘It’s what I do,’ said Roisin.

  Colette smiled. ‘It always was,’ she said. ‘I remember when we were kids and the boys and I stayed here. You were always rushing around the place doing things. You were so efficient and grown up. Glamorous too, of course.’

  ‘Glamorous? Me?’ Roisin snorted. ‘I don’t think so.’

  ‘You were what – eighteen, nineteen back then?’ Colette recalled. ‘Of course you seemed glam to me. And you had a part-time job too, which made you properly important.’

  ‘Stacking shelves in the local supermarket,’ said Roisin. ‘Not at all glam or important.’

  ‘To me it was. And you were so together, that was the thing. Nothing seemed to bother you.’

  ‘I’m sure plenty of things did,’ said Roisin.

  ‘If they did, you never let it show. I wanted be like you but I couldn’t.’

  ‘Like me?’ Roisin was flattered.

  ‘Of course. You were the eldest. You were super-cool. And I was … well, not in a good place back then.’

  ‘It was a tough summer for all of you,’ said Roisin.

  ‘And I let it get on top of me,’ agreed Colette. ‘But you – you never let things get to you. You’re like – like Superwoman.’

  Roisin smiled.

  ‘Except you don’t have to be all the time,’ added Colette. ‘Like now. You need some time to yourself after everything that’s gone on.’

  ‘It won’t change anything,’ said Roisin. ‘Besides, I have me time when I’m tidying up and stuff.’

  ‘It’s not quite what I meant.’

  ‘I know, but it works for me. Anyway, thanks for everything you did yesterday.’ Roisin took some butter from the lifeless fridge.

  ‘No worries,’ said Colette.

  ‘Um, one other thing. I hope you don’t mind me asking – did you and Davey have a row about something last night?’

  ‘It was a misunderstanding, that’s all,’ said Colette.

  ‘I saw him talking to you and he seemed so angry. It was odd after you’d driven through all that bad weather together.’

  ‘Nothing to worry about. All sorted.’

  ‘Sure?’

  Colette nodded.

  ‘You and I don’t see each other enough,’ said Roisin. ‘We should do coffee sometime.’

  ‘I’d like that,’ said Colette. ‘Keep in touch, Roisin. I’m off now. Give my good wishes to your mum and dad. Tell Davey I said goodbye.’

  ‘OK.’

  ‘And go easy on Steffie when she comes home. It was a big shock for her.’

  ‘Oh, I know.’ Roisin put some glasses in a cupboard. ‘I always seem to be making allowances for Steffie, even when she does something that scares us all witless.’

  ‘I always make allowances for Eoin because he’s my younger brother,’ said Colette. ‘Even though he can be a right eejit. Steffie’s not a bad person, and yesterday’s news was a really big deal as far as she was concerned.’

  ‘It was a big deal for all of us.’ Roisin flicked a cloth across one of the worktops. ‘Oh, you’re right, Colette. Her stuff is harder. It’s just … there’s always something with her, that’s all. And for some reason everyone thinks she needs support while I’m supposed to manage by myself.’

  ‘I understand,’ said Colette. ‘I feel that way too sometimes.’

  ‘You do?’

  ‘You and I are life’s copers,’ said Colette. ‘You do it by organising and cleaning and I do it by looking bizarre outside when I feel churned up inside.’

  ‘Oh Colette! I never thought – you always seem totally happy and together to me.’

  ‘I think I’ll be better in the future,’ said Colette. ‘Funnily enough, last night made me see some things differently myself.’

  Roisin looked at her enquiringly, but when she realised that Colette wasn’t going to say any more, she simply asked her if she’d like a sandwich before she went. When her cousin said no, she put her arms around her and hugged her.

  Colette had just picked up her bag prior to leaving when Davey and Camilla appeared.

  ‘Don’t go yet,’ said Davey. ‘We want to celebrate.’

  Colette looked between them. Camilla held up her engagement finger.

  ‘It looked so good on you, I had to have it for myself,’ she said.

  ‘Oh my God, Davey!’ squealed Roisin, who, in the excitement of seeing the ring on Camilla’s finger, hadn’t listened to what she’d said. ‘I don’t believe it! Today of all days!’ She threw her arms around her brother and then around Camilla, who hugged her tentatively in return.

  The sound of their raised voices soon brought everyone else into the kitchen, where Camilla showed off her ring amid delighted whoops. When Jenny and Pascal, awakened by the noise, came downstairs themselves, they found their only son and his new fiancée the centre of attention.

  ‘It’s wonderful news,’ Jenny repeated over and over. ‘Simply wonderful.’

  ‘The best anniversary present you could give us,’ said Pascal.

  ‘Um, it’s not actually your anniversary,’ Roisin reminded him.

  ‘Whatever,’ Jenny said. ‘It’s the best news, Dave
y. I can’t tell you how happy you’ve made me.’

  ‘You’re some woman, Camilla, taking on this family,’ said Paul.

  ‘She’s seen us at our absolute worst,’ Davey told him. ‘I’m hoping in the future she gets to see us at our best.’

  Carl clapped him on the back and told him that he was a crafty sod not to have said anything before. He wished him lots of happiness and then glanced across the room to where Bernice was standing, her face totally expressionless. Summer was missing out on the commotion as she was still asleep on the sofa, oblivious to the excitement of the moment.

  ‘I’m glad we have something to celebrate,’ Roisin said. ‘After all, a celebration is what this party was supposed to be.’

  ‘When do you plan to get married?’ asked Lucinda.

  ‘I don’t know yet,’ replied Camilla. ‘But as soon as possible, I think.’

  She smiled. She couldn’t believe how happy she felt and how much enjoyment she was getting from the fact that people were crowding around her, wanting to look at her fabulous ring and being delighted for her and Davey. Such unbridled joy had never been part of her life before and it was exhilarating. It was equally exhilarating, too, to allow herself to realise that she really and truly did love Davey Sheehan and that she wanted to be married to him. She was also looking forward to being part of his family, even though he kept apologising for the debacle of the day before. She’d never seen so much emotion on show in her life, and although he told her that this wasn’t normal for them, she couldn’t help feeling that she was part of something bigger than just her and Davey. That although there were clearly issues to be sorted out among the Sheehans, they would talk them through. Her own parents had never talked about anything.

  ‘We’ll have to go to Copenhagen,’ Jenny said. ‘See where you live and meet your parents, Camilla.’

  ‘Give us a chance, Mum,’ said Davey. ‘I haven’t even met her parents yet.’

  ‘They will be happy for me, I know,’ said Camilla.

  ‘And the wedding? Here or in Denmark?’ asked Roisin.

  ‘I haven’t thought about the wedding at all yet,’ said Camilla. ‘Only that Davey and I are going to get married.’