Cailean

by Brent Miller

  “When are we going to tell him?” Linda asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “About everything: Lycanthropy, why he’s different, hunters.”

  “I don’t know,” Aldric sighed. “I never want to hide what he is, but… I want to protect him for as long as I can. I don’t want him to be afraid of hunters for his entire childhood.”

  “We can’t just not tell him,” Linda argued.

  “Well right now he’s eating apple sauce on the floor because he doesn’t know what a table is. Can we figure it out as we go?” Aldric asked.

  “I guess that’s all parents can do,” Linda admitted.

  “For now, let’s just enjoy spending time with our son. It won’t be long until it’s not funny anymore when he spills food on himself.”

  Linda laughed, and Aldric pulled her in for a kiss. She turned and he held her, placing her head on his shoulder. Cailean still had his back turned to them as he ate. Aldric wasn’t sure what the best thing to do for his son was, but he was dedicated to spending his life trying to learn.

  Present

  Eleven Days until the Full Moon

  Cailean

  “Hey, Cailean,” Brooke called as he approached the steps. Waving, she trotted toward him. Cailean hadn’t anticipated the way that he’d make his first friend in middle school, but it almost made the horror of his panic attack worth it.

  “Hey,” Cailean replied with a smile.

  “Are you feeling better today?” The two of them stood in front of the school as other students arrived and shuffled into the building. Brooke clearly didn’t understand how many layers her question had. Cailean still had trouble tuning out each individual conversation, and Brooke talking over them started to give him a headache. Her voice – pleasant as it may be – was high pitched and left a ringing in his ears. The smell of dozens of boys who didn’t seem to understand that the changing in their bodies probably meant they should shower daily assaulted him – only to be rivaled by the conflicting perfumes of young girls trying to impress their peers. The iridescent lights from inside the building were already burning his eyes and he hadn’t even entered the halls yet; he was only able to see them through the windows in the door. Even the hairs on his arms stood on end, and he could feel the slight breeze move them periodically.

  Aside from that, because he had spent a good portion of the previous day in the nurse’s office only to be escorted to his classes afterward, he hadn’t had time to gain an understanding of his surroundings. As he checked the schedule that he’d folded up in his pocket, he realized he couldn’t imagine a map in his mind. Even the location of homeroom was a mystery, because he’d only found it by chance the previous day. The task of navigating through the masses and finding his rooms was just as terrifying – if not more – than the previous day.

  However, Cailean had learned from a young age to keep a guarded lock on his perceptions. Having no frame of reference, he couldn’t be sure how much of that was because he was born different. Though he wasn’t entirely sure why, his father had been very clear that he should never let other people find out about those differences. Brooke had said that she’d experienced something similar, but Cailean was still hesitant to pour out his heart to her. Instead, he pushed all of those thoughts aside and continued to smile.

  “Yeah,” he nodded. “Thanks.”

  While it wasn’t the complete truth, it wasn’t entirely a lie either. Cailean was confident that he was more equipped to handle the stress – if for no other reason than because he knew what to expect. With Brooke to give him a friend through it all and his own determination to pull his focus from the increasing noise, Cailean was confident that he wouldn’t suffer the same fate as the previous day.

  “What did your parents say?” Brooke asked, taking Cailean’s hand and leading him to a bench. The second that she touched him, Cailean felt goosebumps race down his arm. Embarrassed, he wanted to pull his hand away to hide it, but he was also confident that would make it more obvious. She was cute, but he couldn’t understand why he was reacting so strongly to her. She was just a girl, after all, and he’d been friends with plenty before.

  Brooke sat on the bench, releasing Cailean’s hand. A strange mixture of relief and longing flooded his mind as she let go. Careful to leave a reasonable distance between them, Cailean sat with her, leaning his side against the back of the bench so he could face her. His backpack still rested on one shoulder, so he slid it off and dropped it on the bench behind him. Cailean didn’t want to leave her, and he didn’t want to admit that he needed the few minutes they had before homeroom began to locate his class.

  “About what?” Cailean finally responded, realizing that it was his turn to speak in the conversation.

  “The whole thing yesterday,” Brooke replied, carefully choosing her words.

  “Oh, yeah. I didn’t tell them.”

  “What?”

  “I don’t want them to worry. Anyway, I don’t think they’d react too well.”

  “Oh, okay,” Brooke accepted hesitantly.

  “I’m fine, really,” Cailean assured her. Unconvinced, she nodded and sighed.

  “Well, just tell me if you need anything, alright?”

  “Sure,” Cailean stammered, his heart skipping a beat. The thought that she was so concerned about his well being made him feel strange, but he appreciated it.

  “Do you know how to get to your class?” Brooke asked, standing back up and looking around. Most of the students had either made their way into the building or were bunched up at the door in confusion. A backlog of kids examining schedules standing in the doorway as they determined which direction to go slowed everyone else down.

  Cailean didn’t want to admit that he had no idea, but it didn’t seem like something worthwhile to lie about. The indecision caused him to pause just long enough for her concern to shift to a knowing smile.

  “Come on, I’ll show you.”

  “How do you know where it is?” Cailean asked, standing and slinging his backpack over one shoulder.

  “I know the school pretty well,” she shrugged.

  “Aren’t you new here?”

  “I’m pretty sure most of us are,” Brooke countered. That wasn’t exactly what Cailean had meant, but she wasn’t technically wrong. He was just as new to the school as she was, even though she hadn’t lived in town her entire life.

  “Fair enough,” Cailean admitted.

  “My mom works here,” Brooke explained, clearly having had enough of watching him struggle. “She’s a teacher, so I had plenty of time to get to know the building while she was getting her classroom set up.”

  “Oh, so maybe you can show me to all of my classes today?” Cailean asked with a sly smirk. His pride made it difficult for him to ask for help, but it was significantly easier when he could convince himself it was just a way to spend time with Brooke.

  “If you insist,” she smiled knowingly, turning her back and walking. Following closely, Cailean tried to avoid staring at her. Logically, he knew he should have been examining the building around him. Even if she was going to be leading him to classes, it would benefit him to learn the layout of the building – in case she was sick one day. Despite knowing that, though, Cailean couldn’t pull his eyes from her. There was something mesmerizing about the way her hips swayed as she walked, and he couldn’t spare the attention on any other detail.

  “Here we are,” Brooke said as she stopped. Cailean almost didn’t stop in time, but he was able to prevent a collision by stepping slightly to the side with his last step. He was grateful that his father had trained him in martial arts since a young age, because it allowed him the control over his own movement which protected him from making a fool of himself.

  Before Cailean could respond to her, Mrs. Cassidy stepped into the hall to greet him. He understood being polite and trying to get to know the students, but it still seemed odd to him that she was going to such great lengths. It seemed like it would make more sense
for her to just wait for him in the classroom.

  “Is everything alright?” She asked. Cailean sighed. Clearly she had heard about the panic attack, and he just wondered how far the word had spread. He hoped he would be able to avoid obtaining that reputation. If he couldn’t, at the very least it would make him stand out. Still, he’d hoped for a more appealing way to do so.

  “Oh, yeah,” Brooke interjected before Cailean could answer her. “I’m just showing Cailean around.”

  “Oh, okay. You worried me. Your class in on the other side of the school, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  Cailean looked back and forth as they spoke, trying to understand what was happening. It was possible that she had Mrs. Cassidy for a later class, and he wouldn’t be surprised that she knew the location of Brooke’s homeroom. She seemed very friendly. Still, their mannerisms didn’t indicate that they had just met the previous day. Finally, the realization hit Cailean and he felt foolish for the fact that it took so long.

  “Do you need a hall pass?” Mrs. Cassidy asked.

  “No, I think I can make it. Thanks!” Brooke assured her as she walked off. Turning and walking backwards for a moment, she added, “I’ll see you later, Cailean Phoenix.”

  “You too,” he called back. As soon as she’d turned back around, Cailean silently scolded himself. His response hadn’t made any sense, but he had been distracted.

  “I’m glad you two seem to be friends,” Mrs. Cassidy told Cailean. “It’s usually hard for her to make friends right after we move.”

  “She’s just showing me my classes,” Cailean defended awkwardly.

  “Okay,” Mrs. Cassidy replied slowly. “Well, thank you for being nice to her.”

  “It’s easy to be nice when someone’s so kind,” Cailean shrugged. Not entirely sure what to feel or what to say next, Cailean slipped past her and found the same seat he’d been in the previous day. Suddenly, the front row felt far too close.

  ❖ ❖ ❖

  At the dinner table, Cailean slouched in his chair and looked longingly at the food in the middle. His father was still bringing a few more things from the kitchen and his mother was setting plates out for the three of them. Cailean had carried the roast, but his job was complete, and he was left to just long for the delicious meal.

  “How was school?” His mom asked as she placed a fork and knife in front of him.

  “It was good,” Cailean replied vaguely. She moved to her seat and placed her own silverware down before sitting. Aldric came from the kitchen with a pot of potatoes and placed it in the middle of the table. He hadn’t been wearing any kitchen mitts, but the potatoes were still steaming, and Cailean was thoroughly confident that the metal pot was hot as well. To confirm his suspicions, he leaned forward and gently touched the silver. Pulling his hand back quickly, he waved it through the air.

  “Why don’t you just use mitts?” Cailean teased his father.

  “It’s conditioning. Anyway, I’m used to it by now,” Aldric shrugged, glancing at his hands. They were red from carrying the scalding pot, but the color quickly began to fade and return to normal. Turning his gaze to his own finger, Cailean didn’t seem to see a reaction from the pot. Still, he couldn’t understand why anyone would intentionally bring themselves pain when there was an easily avoidable solution.

  Aldric sat at the table across from his wife. Cailean’s parents had taken up cooking after they’d retired. Sometimes they both helped prepare something extravagant and others they debated who would get to prepare the meal for the night. Cailean couldn’t imagine enjoying cooking, but maybe if he had as much time on his hands as they did, it would make sense.

  Listening to them discuss anything food related was hilarious to Cailean though. The science behind every decision, the specific temperature of each ingredient, and the competing flavors they worked with were all incredibly specific. Cailean had always figured cooking involved following recipes on a box, but his parents took it to a new level.

  “How was school?” Aldric asked, waiting for Cailean and his mother to get their plates first.

  “It was good,” Linda replied in Cailean’s stead. As if expecting elaboration, she looked at him and scooped vegetables onto his plate. Cailean just shrugged, staring at the plate. He wondered why they made such a big deal of eating well if Cailean’s body would just continually get stronger regardless of nutrients. As far as he was aware, it was more of a calorie thing – it just required an adequate input of energy. He didn’t have a full grasp on werewolf physiology, though, so he decided it was best not to question them.

  “So I guess that’s all we get,” she laughed, serving food to herself and her husband.

  “After counting down the days for three weeks?” Cailean’s father teased.

  “It was the second day,” Cailean shrugged. “The second day is never very eventful.”

  “What about this Brooke girl?” His mother asked, nudging him playfully as she sat back down.

  “What about her?” Cailean asked, blushing as he looked down. Trying to avoid continuing the conversation, he grabbed his fork and shoveled food into his mouth.

  “Well, did you see her again? You didn’t stop talking about her yesterday.”

  “She showed me where my classes were,” Cailean admitted.

  “That sounds romantic,” she joked. Still trying to end the conversation, Cailean continued to eat as he searched for another topic. Glancing toward his father, he saw growing concern on his face.

  “You really like this girl?” his father asked slowly. Cailean couldn’t understand why his father was so concerned by that prospect. Was he that scared of his son growing up?

  “No,” Cailean defended, still embarrassed to be having that conversation with his parents. They had always been very open with him, so he wasn’t sure why he had trouble talking about his new feelings, but he was very confident that he didn’t want to.

  “Okay,” Aldric replied slowly, turning his attention to his food.

  Silence filled the room for a moment and Cailean looked back and forth between his parents. Only a minute ago they’d been joking and laughing, but suddenly they seemed melancholy. Cailean had heard of empty nest syndrome, but he didn’t expect them to be reacting so strangely so early. Even if he did like a girl – and he wasn’t sure that was what was happening – it seemed like an overreaction to him.

  “Cailean, I have to talk to you about something,” Aldric finally spoke up awkwardly.

  “Okay, hold on,” Linda stopped him.

  “What?”

  “Really? At the dinner table?”

  “I’ve never done this before.”

  “Done what?” Cailean pitched in.

  “I’m just going to do it,” Aldric announced, setting his utensils down with a sigh.

  “As you get older, you’re going to notice a lot of… changes,” Aldric started.

  “Yeah, I know. We’ve talked about it before. I’ll be a werewolf when I hit puberty.”

  “See, he knows what puberty is,” Linda added, desperately trying to ease the awkwardness they all felt. Cailean appreciated his mother’s effort, but he had a feeling that his father wasn’t going to drop it.

  “That’s not what I mean,” Aldric continued. “I mean… changes. And you’re going to start looking at girls differently.”

  Cailean had no idea how his father had lived for so long but hadn’t managed to draft that typical parenting speech once. While he’d already heard quite a bit at school, Cailean had been dreading the moment that his parents decided it was time to try to teach him. It didn’t have to be awkward – especially among them – but for some reason his father was making it weird.

  “Father, I know where you’re going with this. We really don’t have to talk about it.”

  “It’s important, Cailean. You see, wolves mate for life.”

  “Father! I’m eleven. I think her hair smells nice. Please don’t be weird.”

  “Just be careful,” Aldric sai
d.

  “Yes sir,” Cailean muttered, turning back to his food.

  Chapter 5

  Eight Years Ago

  Aldric

  With a heavy sigh, Aldric collapsed onto the couch, appreciating the brief respite he had earned by granting Cailean a way to distract himself. His son was sitting on the tile in the other room, finally having been introduced to finger-painting. Aldric wondered whether Cailean’s erratic behavior and endless supply of energy came from being three years old or a young werewolf. Perhaps a mixture of the two was the culprit.

  Aldric had not spent much time around young children – human or lycanthrope – so he didn’t have experience to which he could relate. Still, if Cailean’s liveliness was simply typical of children, Aldric couldn’t imagine a human parent keeping pace. Even he found himself mentally drained after an afternoon alone with the boy. Despite that, though, he wouldn’t trade places with his wife for anything. She’d spent the afternoon out with Bree in attempt to make friends with the neighbors. Aldric would prefer the company of his own rambunctious and exhausting son than any human he’d met.

  Shaking his head, Aldric acknowledged the error in that statement. As he did, he sat up with a groan and dropped his head into his hands. Linda had been human when he’d met her, and she was again, so he couldn’t accurately say ‘any human.’ That was simply another remnant of his father’s mindset – a relic of an ideology against which Aldric struggled daily. Once again, he found it necessary to remind himself that humans weren’t worse than him simply due to their shortened lifespan. In fact, there were enviable things about living in their world.

  None of that changed his opinion on building relationships, though. It seemed pointless to him to establish friendships with humans who would leave their lives as quickly as they’d entered. Aside from that, the whiny and occasionally insolent child in the other room was his own flesh and blood. Whether it was right or not, a part of him did feel that that fact alone made him better than the humans. Cailean and Linda were his family, and he felt no remorse for holding them to a higher esteem than the rest of the world.