Cailean

by Brent Miller

  “Oh,” Cailean responded quietly. He wasn’t sure if the news concerned or relieved him, but he knew there was nothing he could do to change it. Anyway, it was better to avoid throwing too much unrelated information at Brooke. Brooke sat in silence, absorbing the information and tightly clenching Cailean’s hand as she looked around the room.

  “What is it like?” Brooke interjected.

  “We have a while before you start to change,” Aldric told her slowly. “Take it slow. Digest, think things through. We are here for questions, and we will help you through this. For now, though, I think it’s best to just take your time.”

  Cailean completely understood why his father avoided the question. While no one wanted to lie to her, Cailean definitely didn’t want to try to explain to her everything he’d gone through the previous night. His father had apparently made the decision that it was best to keep her from facing that terror – at least for the time being.

  “You’re not alone in this, Brooke,” Aldric added. “Cailean and I are here for you. We’re a pack now.”

  Chapter 10

  Four Years Ago

  Aldric

  “Quarter turn left. Low block,” Aldric instructed. As he spoke, he demonstrated the movements for Cailean, who followed him with rapt attention. Since his son had been able to walk, Aldric had taught him as many basic principles of self-defense as possible. For the first time, though, he began a formal instruction of his art.

  “Step forward, center punch, land in front stance,” Aldric continued, executing the steps himself. Cailean followed along as Aldric continued with the next step, turning in a half-circle and blocking again. With Cailean positioned in front of him, Aldric was able to watch his son’s movements. As they both stepped forward and threw another punch, Aldric sighed.

  “Alright,” he groaned, standing straighter. Clearly, Cailean heard the displeasure in his voice. He brought his feet together and turned, facing his father somewhat defiantly.

  “Why are we doing this? It’s boring.”

  “You will train because I deem it important,” Aldric answered bluntly. A flash of his father passed before his eyes, and he closed his eyes with frustration. Although being questioned was annoying, he consciously fought to avoid becoming that man. With a deep breath, he tried to regain his focus and provide his son with a more satisfying answer.

  “Humans use forms to strengthen relatively unused muscles with stances. It’s also a great way to practice balance, for which you also have a natural skill. Though those uses are diminished to us, there is still much to learn here. First, you will learn discipline. Secondly, it is a mechanism by which you can practice your blocks and strikes.”

  “Huh,” Cailean accepted with a nod.

  “So, use this to practice everything,” Aldric ordered. “Punch like you mean it. Block like your life depends on it. Because one day it may.”

  “Father,” Cailean began quietly. Aldric could practically watch his brain work as he tried to formulate his question. “If I’m the strongest, why do I still have to train so hard?”

  “You’re not the strongest. There will always be someone stronger. Even if you were, raw strength will never be enough. Skill, speed, and efficiency are everything.”

  “All I have to do is punch them, though,” Cailean argued.

  “Tell me, boy: What if you fought me?”

  “I wouldn’t have to.”

  “Then someone as strong as me.”

  “No one is.”

  “I have met plenty who were.”

  “I guess I’d just punch them, then.”

  “One punch? That’s all it takes?” Aldric taunted, squatting down in front of Cailean. “Prove it. I will give you one free punch. This is the only opportunity you will ever get. Prove to me that you’re the strongest.”

  Cailean hesitated, so Aldric turned his cheek and kept his hands low. Raising his fist shakily, Cailean growled as he tried to work up the nerve to attack his father. Aldric rocked back on his heels, impatiently awaiting the attack so he could finish proving his point. Eventually, though, Cailean’s hand dropped back to his side.

  “Good. Now then, your punches are weak. Aim with the front two fingers,” Aldric explained to his son.

  Covering the basics in excruciating detail, Aldric worked on building a firm foundation for Cailean. He showed him the kata, good form when punching and kicking, strong stances, and even a basic combination to practice. After working tirelessly for hours, he finally decided Cailean deserved a break. When training humans, stamina was a factor, but for his son, it was exclusively his receptiveness to new information. After being presented with so much at once, it was only natural that his attention would start to waver.

  Still, Aldric knew that he needed to be completely sure that his son was ready to defend himself. Aldric himself had started formal martial arts training even younger, but he wanted to make sure Cailean was more mature than him when he started.

  “That’s enough for today,” Aldric instructed, nodding as a way to acknowledge Cailean’s good work. Cailean, actually breathing heavily from the workout, hesitated in the middle of the room. He took a moment to catch his breath and settle his heartrate before straightening up and facing Aldric confidently.

  “Father,” he argued. “I can learn more.”

  “We have to space things out, otherwise you won’t properly internalize the information,” Aldric explained. There was no annoyance in his tone, although he recognized that any type of questioning would typically spark such a reaction. Aldric quickly realized that it was simply because the annoyance was overridden by pride. Cailean’s desire to learn and improve his skills, even though he’d only barely begun to formally learn them, made Aldric proud. Aside from that, it made him hopeful. His son would eventually be a good fighter, able to defend himself against the hunters.

  “Yes, sir,” Cailean replied, disappointed. It had taken time, but he’d finally learned not to go against Aldric’s decision. Sometimes, such as in that moment, he tried to argue once. However, when Aldric affirmed his statement a second time, Cailean typically accepted it as reality.

  “If you want to continue practicing,” Aldric conceded slowly, “you can practice what we’ve gone over today. Your technique will always need improvement and honing. Focus on your kicks and your balance.”

  “Yes, sir!” Cailean repeated with a new vigor in his voice. As he walked away, Aldric heard the snapping of Cailean’s pants as he kicked into the air. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Aldric turned to watch his son. Cailean’s front kicks were still weak, and they weren’t aimed with the ball of the foot. His side kicks weren’t folding deep enough to his side, which would sacrifice power for speed. The round kicks were fast, which was the main goal, but he was powering through them too much, throwing off his balance. Aldric worried that he’d already thrown too much at Cailean for one day and was concerned that the boy was mixing up the reasoning behind each of the kicks.

  Sighing deeply, he turned back toward Cailean and moved back into the basement. More days than Aldric could count had been spent training for more than twelve hours, so it wasn’t anything new to him to continue longer than a traditional class. If his son was showing such enthusiasm, that was something he wanted to foster.

  Just as he was about to say something, though, Aldric watched as Cailean folded for another side kick. This time, he slowed down, focusing on each step of the kick. His knee drew further across his body and his heel pointed directly in front of him. As he thrusted that heel forward, he turned his hips into the kick and audibly snapped the fabric in his pants. For a moment, he left his leg extended fully, balancing on his back foot. Slowly, he withdrew the kick, pulling his knee back across his body before placing his foot back on the floor in front of him.

  “Good,” Aldric praised.

  “Thank you, Father,” Cailean beamed. The child was nearly bouncing with excitement having received a positive remark from his father and teacher. Nodding triumph
antly, Aldric leaned against the wall behind him. Cailean turned back to continue practicing his kicks and Aldric could see his balance and technique improving with each subsequent attack. There was no question in his mind that his son was going to be a warrior.

  Present

  Three Years Later

  Cailean

  “Mom,” Cailean whispered, hesitating with his hand on the doorknob. The questions racing through his mind screamed for answers but once again, he found himself too uncomfortable to ask. As he felt her gaze turn toward him, he quickly fumbled for another topic. While he had time before he had to leave, he wasn’t sure he wanted to spend that time in an awkward conversation with his mother.

  “What’s up?” She asked, concern clear in her voice.

  “I love you,” he responded, forcing a jovial tone into his voice and smiling as he turned back to face her.

  “I love you too,” she smiled, though her response was skeptical.

  “I’ll see you after school.”

  Escaping the uncomfortable air which he’d created, Cailean quickly stepped outside and closed the door behind him. Shuffling off toward Brooke’s house, he left his home and his questions behind him. Somehow, spending time with Brooke made him believe everything would be fine. Even though the uncertainty in his mind exclusively revolved around her – she was somehow able to dampen its effects. As he briskly walked toward her home, everything else seemed to dull in the world around him. Barely registering the footsteps behind him, Cailean jumped in surprise when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

  Turning quickly, Cailean backed away, trying to remember his father’s training. Since he was a child, he had been taught to prepare for a surprise attack. When the actual possibility arose, though, all he could think about was his heart pounding in his chest as the adrenaline killed his capacity for rational thought. Lifting his hands, Cailean faced the aggressor.

  “Calm down, slugger,” his mom teased, completely unfazed by his stance. Cailean wondered whether her confidence was around the hope that he’d recognize her before reacting or the idea that she could easily dodge his attack if he didn’t.

  “What…” Cailean stumbled, wondering what to ask as his fists fell to his sides. “Did I forget something?”

  “Not exactly,” she laughed, waving her hand at the ground in front of Cailean. Without waiting for his response, she continued walking past him. Confused, Cailean caught up with his mother and walked by her side.

  “So, do you not want to talk to me about it or are you scared your dad will hear?”

  “Father does hear everything,” Cailean chuckled.

  “Well, I think it’s safe to say we’re out of earshot,” she observed with a shrug.

  “It’s not that I don’t want him to know,” Cailean stumbled.

  “Sometimes a boy needs his mother. Let me relish that a bit,” she encouraged, stopping and placing her hands on his shoulders. Smiling down at him, she gently kissed his forehead. Instinctively, Cailean pulled back and wiped his head as if that would have any effect. Exhaling deeply, he tried to collect his thoughts.

  “How do you know?” He finally asked. The confusion on her face told him that he hadn’t been clear enough, so he forced himself to add detail. Uncomfortably, he clarified. “How do you know when you’re in love?”

  Silently, she looked up and pondered his question. Simultaneously burdened by the weight of the silence and comforted by the fact that he finally asked the question, Cailean anxiously awaited her response. The two began walking again as she placed a hand on his back and directed him forward. He didn’t want to be late to school, so he was grateful that she continued walking with him toward Brooke’s house as she spoke.

  “I wish I had a better answer for you, but you just know.”

  “But Father says I can only love once. Is it my choice? How will I know when I’ve chosen?”

  “Oh, you’ll definitely know that one,” she coughed, laughing and appearing equally uncomfortable and entertained by her own response.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Love comes in so many different forms. Honestly, we don’t have enough words for the diversity of meanings it actually has. You see, you never choose the perfect person to love, Cailean. It’s a choice, though. A decision to always put this person before yourself.”

  As her words resounded in Cailean’s mind, he wondered if he ever truly loved anyone. His desire to be near Brooke had led him to put her in danger. Though she didn’t seem to resent him for her transformation, he still bore the burden of that selfishness. Love sounded difficult, and he wasn’t confident he was actually capable of it.

  “Of course, we’re all human. Even you, most of the time,” she smiled, rubbing his hair as she seemed to read his mind. “We’re selfish and we all make mistakes. But love is also accepting each other’s mistakes and caring for them in spite of them.”

  “If love is a choice, why can I only choose one person?”

  “Well, that’s where other definitions come in. Sometimes, love is also an emotion. It isn’t enough to rely on, because emotions change, but that is an undeniable aspect. That’s all your father is talking about. A werewolf chooses a mate and they can never feel that emotion for someone else. You can still choose to show people love, but you can never feel the same way. It’s a deep, all-encompassing feeling.”

  “That sounds scary.”

  “It’s terrifying, but it’s also beautiful.”

  “I’ve been scared to get too close to Brooke. I really like her, but I don’t want to accidentally love her if I’m not supposed to.”

  Stopping on the sidewalk, Cailean’s mom laughed and shook her head. After taking a moment to compose herself, she placed a hand on his cheek and smiled down at him.

  “Trust me, that isn’t going to happen by accident. Your father can be very strange about certain information, that’s for sure. This is a conversation we can have after school, alright?”

  “Why?”

  “Because I need some time to prepare,” she stumbled awkwardly. “For now, I promise you, it doesn’t happen by accident and you have nothing to fear. When you find the person you want to spend your life with, whether you’re a human or a werewolf, you just know.”

  “Yeah, okay,” Cailean nodded. “Thanks Mom.”

  Embracing her tightly, Cailean tried to decompress all of the information. Though he was still confused, he was becoming more confident that he wasn’t meant to spend his life with Brooke. Over the past three years, they had spent every day together and she was constantly on his mind, but if he had to ask that meant he didn’t know. At least, it felt like he didn’t know. Resolving to wait until his mom was ready to have whatever conversation she felt too uncomfortable to partake in before school, Cailean just stepped back and turned back toward Brooke’s house.

  “I love you, Mom,” he smiled, turning over his shoulder. As he said it, hundreds of selfish acts raced through his mind and he wondered if it was true. Still, he knew that he couldn’t live without his mother and if that wasn’t love, he didn’t know what was.

  “I love you too. Now get to school. You don’t want to be late.”

  She turned and quickly started walking back home. Though he was confused by her sudden shift in tone, Cailean shrugged it off and walked up the pathway toward Brooke’s house. The two of them had walked to school together every day since she’d turned. Sometimes Cailean found himself wishing he could walk alone to process his own thoughts, but he knew that Brooke hated to be alone. Barely even considering the fact that granting her that company would limit his ability to interpret his conversation with his mother, Cailean gently tapped on her front door.

  “Cailean’s here,” Mrs. Cassidy called from the other side of the door. Cailean heard scuffling from the inside of the house as all of them shuffled around. After a moment, the door opened and Brooke’s mom stood in the doorway smiling at him.

  “Sorry, Brooke is still getting ready, she shouldn’t be much longer.
Do you want to come in?”

  “Thank you,” Cailean accepted, stepping past her as she closed the door behind him. Normally, she had already left by the time Cailean picked up Brooke, but she was clearly running late. Her wet hair was still tied up in a towel and she had raced to the door before finishing with her make-up. Make-up wasn’t something Cailean understood. Usually, women looked just fine without it. His rationalization was that it was just the human way of covering up their scars or any imperfections on their skin, but it didn’t seem worth the effort.

  Her dress, which fell loosely around her body, dropped past her knees. Brooke’s mother found a way to remain fashionable while dressing appropriately for her job. Watching the fabric flow behind her as she returned to her room to finish applying the make-up, Cailean found himself wondering why seeing Brooke in a dress was so rare. Her mother wore them nearly exclusively, and plenty of girls in his class did the same. Of course, the high schoolers’ attire typically didn’t cover quite as much skin and were often less tasteful, but they were still dresses. The unique aspect of Brooke’s fashion decisions was endearing to Cailean, though.

  On the couch, Cailean waited for a moment as everyone else in the house continued to prepare for the day. He wondered whether it was more difficult for humans to be on time for something or if his father had simply taught him well. Aldric was always prepared for everything and being early was his general state, so that attitude had passed to Cailean. Waiting on Brooke to get ready didn’t bother him, though. In fact, he found the commotion comforting in a strange sense.

  “Hey Cailean,” Brooke’s dad greeted as he walked in, adjusting his tie.

  “Hello Mr. Cassidy,” Cailean greeted, jumping to his feet and extending a hand instinctively. For some reason, being around Brooke’s father always made him uncomfortable. The man was by no means intimidating, but he was still someone to whom Cailean went out of his way to act respectfully toward.