Wedding Cake & Woe

by Beth Byers

  “They did seem like they’d kept up. Bobby knew right where to poke to make the other guys squirm.” My disgust was evident and Joyce shot me a look that said she’d been irritated by Bobby for far longer than I could imagine.

  Joyce nodded. “Bobby’s attitude was always bigger than his sense. He’s been a bully who pushed people around and gotten away with it because he pretended to be joking. You don’t know how many times, I wanted to take that boy by the ear and wash his mouth out for being a jerk.”

  “I’d pay to see that,” I admitted. I tucked a hair behind my ear and set Mama Dog back down.

  “You know,” Joyce said, “We only moved to Florida a few years before you came to Silver Falls. Those boys came back to hang out together a lot. They didn’t arrive all at the same time very often, but when Justin divorced, they were all here. Bobby rode poor Justin about being unable to satisfy his wife. And when Simon and Roberta broke up, it was nearly as bad.”

  I frowned at that. I didn’t want to hear about Simon’s old relationship the weekend of my own wedding.

  “Those two were so bad together,” Joyce said. “Simon and Roberta were never good. They broke up over and over again. Not like with you. With you, Simon saw you, and that was it.”

  I smiled at her even though I didn’t really believe it. I was sure Simon loved me now, but I had been at my plumpest when I’d arrived in Silver Falls with bags under my eyes and a tinge of crazy from having quit my job in a fury and then being unable to believe I’d done it. My hair was better these days with my friend, Mattie, keeping me in hand, but back then, it had been a frizzy mess. He hadn’t looked at the mess I was and thought, ‘That’s the one. Her.’ No way was that how it happened.

  “Joyce,” I said suddenly. “It might be weird until we get to know each other, but we’re going to be family. Why don’t we just choose to like each other? Right now?”

  She teared up and answered, sniffling a little, “Can we really? I’m sorry I was so out-of-line when I got here. Your house doesn’t smell like dogs! And the inside is so much better now. My Simon really is so happy now that you’re a part of his life. He tells me all the time, how happy he is.”

  “I make him crazy,” I told her as she hugged me. This time, I didn’t wait too long to hug her back.

  “He likes your kind of crazy,” she whispered. “Thank you. Thank you for giving me another chance when I so thoroughly started out on the wrong foot.”

  Chapter Four

  We went to one of those steak and seafood houses where they probably bought the fish that morning. I chose a tuna steak over a bed of greens and a wasabi sauce that burned in the very best of ways. I’d exchanged the side of rice for a side of mashed potatoes and gravy since I’d had a taste for them since the morning bite I’d stolen from Simon.

  “The potatoes are better at the diner,” I told Simon. He snagged a bit of mine, considered, and then said, “You know? You’re right.”

  “Of course she’s right,” Joyce told him. “You don’t argue with your bride, especially about the food she makes, before you get married.”

  “Don’t be dumb, boy,” Marvin said. He took a long drink of his Bud light and said, “I taught you better than picking a fight with your lady.”

  Nearly all I had seen was Marv pick fights with Joyce or make her sad. I wanted to smack him, but his wife beat me to it.

  I laughed at Simon’s expression and asked, “How’s your salmon?”

  “The sauce is…interesting.”

  That translated to he didn’t like it, and I laughed at him. He shrugged and ate the bread while I tried his meal. The sauce was a sweet, spicy flavor with an underlying heat, I bet that Simon didn’t just not care for it, but actively hated the dish. I liked it when my food burned a little, but Simon hated for ‘dinner to be painful.’

  He scraped the sauce to the side and ended up cutting his salmon in such a way that he was leaving behind the sauced part of the fish.

  When the waiter came back, I ordered Simon a shrimp cocktail, since I knew he wouldn’t be satisfied with a third of his fish and the basket of bread.

  “You always were the pickiest kid,” Marvin said. He turned to me and said, “His mom just indulged it. Never made him finish his dinner.”

  Joyce shot her husband an irritated glance and said, “Simon was such a good boy. So what if he had simple tastes? What about you, Rose? You probably cater to him.”

  I winced and then leaned forward to whisper, “I kind of enjoy making him try new things.”

  “She does,” Simon said. “And she punishes me with food.”

  “Punishes you? What now?” His dad demanded. He seemed as though I had emasculated his son and hated that Simon was joking about it.

  “I order chicken fried steak at the diner. If she’s irritated, suddenly I’m getting an egg white scramble or maybe that really healthy whole grain hot cereal they serve to hippies. Only someone who hasn’t had meat and dairy in years can eat that…stuff and enjoy it.”

  “His body isn’t equipped for the heavy grains and nuts that our vegan customers eat,” I laughed, pressing my lips together at the look on his mom’s face.

  If he were 10-years-old, she would have boxed my ears for treating her kid that way. But given he was a full-grown man, her humor was getting the better of her.

  “Don’t whine,” I told him. “I’ve seen you get breakfast burritos from the coffee shop across the way when you knew it would be a bowl of grains day. Funny how the breakfast burrito days were also the days you ‘worked’ through lunch.”

  “Funny,” Simon said sarcastically.

  “Or maybe you would go home and let the dogs out and then just eat a PB&J, wallowing in your woes. It is a hard knock life for you sometimes, isn’t it?”

  He grinned at me and then grinned at the waiter when the shrimp cocktail was delivered.

  “Careful now,” Marvin said. “Don’t drive your girl away when we’ve come all this way to see you get married. What a waste of a ticket if she runs off. You should have been married a long time ago, really.”

  “I was waiting for Rose and didn’t even know it. I can’t drive her away, she was meant for me.”

  “Oh geez,” Marvin said and his wife elbowed him—not softly—in the side.

  “That was sweet.” Joyce said fiercely. “Rose is my daughter now, Marvin. Don’t make me show you my Mama Bear.”

  “Oh geez,” Marvin said again and cursed into his beer.

  “Why don’t we go up to see the chapel after this?” Simon asked before his dad could keep irritating his mom. “It’s dark, but you can get the idea. You’ll like it up there, Mom.”

  “That does sound lovely,” his mom said while his dad frowned. It was apparent his dad didn’t want to go up to the chapel. “I’ve seen weddings up there before, but nothing like this one will be. You aren’t stressed out at all, Rose.”

  “Yeah,” I said, smiling even though I was worn out from the stress of meeting his parents.

  What I really wanted was to curl up on the couch or the bed and relax in a pile of dogs with Simon. I was going to have to turn off my internal recluse. Though, I supposed I wasn’t quite a recluse. I just really enjoyed my quiet evenings. “I hired someone to do everything for the wedding. I got too overwhelmed and wanted to run away. Simon found a wedding planner to take over instead. All I have to do is show up and say the vows.”

  “You kids are so smart these days.” Joyce elbowed Marv lightly and then asked, “Aren’t they though?”

  “Waste of money if you ask me,” Marvin muttered, “You’re a cop, boy. Not a millionaire.”

  “Well no one did, Marv,” Joyce shot back, ignoring the fact that she’d been the one to say something about it.

  I was definitely needing some time on the couch especially if these two kept fighting. We’d be getting a lot of time on our own terms on our honeymoon, wherever that would be. Simon was keeping the plans close to his chest, but I could tell he was excited. I had on
ly asked for something warm and tropical. I wanted to be pleased, so I figured it would be fabulous wherever we went.

  The drive up to the chapel was better. Simon and his dad took the front seats and Marvin made Simon drive past their old place and through their old favorite spots before we headed up the winding road to the little white chapel on the cliff.

  The chapel was lit up which paused me for a second. The pastor worked there in the mornings during the weekdays and all day on Sunday. The rest of the time, the electricity was never left on because no one was around. Maybe they’d decided to keep it on for safety purposes because we were setting up for the wedding?

  Or maybe they had just forgotten to turn it off because the schedule was off for how they normally did things? The tent was lit up too. A part of me knew that someone had come up here to put up lights around the property and through the tent so that our evening reception would shine with strands of lights through the trees, the tent, and the church grounds.

  I hadn't, however, expected them to be on.

  “Oh,” Joyce said, turning slowly. “It’s breathtaking.”

  “Wait until you see the flower beds. They match Rose’s bouquet and the boutonnieres.” Simon told his parents about how my friends had grown and planted them for me as a gift.

  Joyce oohed and ahed while Marvin trailed behind us talking about chocolate cake.

  “Stop at the diner and get him some,” I whispered to Simon. “Otherwise your mom won’t hear the end of it.”

  Simon shook his head and said, “He’s prepping for a late night walk to get some cake. It’s all part of his pattern. Dad hates being retired and stuck with my mom. He loves her, but it’s too much time together after having their days apart before. So he builds this elaborate ruses about stuff he needs to do with pre and post whining and then gets some space.”

  I laughed even though it struck me as sad. Then Joyce stopped in front of us. We almost plowed into her back as her head tilted slowly. She was staring at the chapel and I turned to follow her gaze.

  “Simon,” I whispered, feeling like a fool for doing so, but with the door of the chapel open, it felt like we should be whispering. “The church door is open. Pastor John is never up here this late. His wife works the graveyard shift, so he’s home with the kids.”

  Simon instantly went tense. The vacation-mode Simon fled in a second and I was left with the alert, cop Simon.

  “Mom, Dad, go back to the car and get inside. You too, Rose.”

  “But it’s just an open door.” Joyce took a few steps back.

  “It’s an open door that shouldn’t be open, Mom. Go.”

  “I’m not leaving you here if there’s a criminal in there.” She said, looking scandalized.

  “I’m a cop, Mom! Go!”

  “Joyce, really.” Marvin said. “Leave the boy be.”

  “Rose, tell him,” Joyce said. Her look was pleading, and I winced, not quite certain what to do.

  Simon’s expression was clear with the intent that I had better grab his mom and drag her back to the relative safety of the car. But…his mom and I were just starting to get along. And Simon wanted to go someplace potentially dangerous without a weapon or backup. That just didn’t work for me.

  “I’m with your mom on this,” I said.

  “Rose!”

  “Simon, we are getting married Sunday morning. If you think I’m going to watch you endanger your life and you not even have a weapon or another cop with you, you need to re-evaluate who you think I am.” I crossed my arms over my chest and shot him a look that said, I was going to win this fight.

  “I don’t want to cause trouble, Simon.” Joyce took another few steps back. “Please don’t fight.”

  “Too late now,” Marvin muttered. “Just go inside and look around, boy. You’ll be fine. I’ll take the girls to the car.”

  Simon winced. His dad had just set it in stone. I was going with Simon into the church.

  “Simon if you drive Rose away, I’ll never forgive you,” his mom said. “She’s my daughter now, and I love her.”

  I winced at that one. We were staring at each other under the lights of our own wedding, both irritated, and both certain the other was in the wrong. I’d have backed away if he had a weapon. I’d have let him do his job if he had backup. I was trying to stay out of police work these days, but I couldn’t do it when all that kept him safe was a declaration of ‘No, really. I’m a cop.’

  His lips twitched. His dad grabbed his wife’s hand and dragged her back to the car and I said, “They’re…” I didn’t know how to say it. They were not what I wanted for myself at that age. But I wondered if that sort of relationship was inevitable.

  “Yeah,” Simon replied. “Dad could be so much nicer to Mom.”

  “How about I be your backup? We’re over-reacting, right? The dudes who put up the lights probably just did a really crappy job locking up.”

  “If there’s a mass murderer in there,” he started.

  “Or an enraged moose,” I suggested.

  “Dangerous creatures either way,” he said and laughed. He took my hand, tangling our fingers together and finished, “At least we’ll die together.”

  “In our own pathetic blaze of glory. Mowed down right before our wedding. We might make the national news.”

  “A consolation for missing our honeymoon,” he suggested.

  “Exactly! Where is that again?” I only asked to make him smile and it worked.

  He slowly opened the door of the chapel and called, “Police. Show yourself.”

  There wasn’t a sound. Not a shuffle. Not a creaking of the boards. Nothing but the sound of the door moving.

  “Maybe we’re being paranoid?” I whispered.

  He shook his head. It wasn’t that there was movement. It was that there was something in the air. Maybe just our instincts on alert? He walked forward slowly, holding my hand, so I was blocked my his body.

  “Police,” he called again. “Show yourself!”

  “We should have called Carver,” I said, pulling out my phone. “Or the station.”

  Simon’s glance told me that he should have left me behind. I didn’t react to it. He loved me and wanted me safe. I wanted the same for him, and I’d gotten my way, so it was time to shut my trap. I just moved slowly forward, refusing to let him get ahead of me. Finally, the tension was too much and I called Carver.

  “Yeah?” He said.

  Simon stopped suddenly and I peeked around him.

  “Rose?” Carver asked.

  “Holy goodness!” I whispered. There was a body. Why was there a body? “Why!”

  “Why what? If you’re calling to give me crap about my chest, save it for Zee. She’s the weirdo who keeps sharing that picture.”

  “There’s a body,” I whispered. “Why is there a body?”

  My question ended on a wail and Simon sighed as he looked back at me. I hated that a huge part of me cared more that there was a body where I was supposed to be getting married than I did that there was a dead guy. For the love of all that was holy, what was wrong with me?

  Carver cursed. “I thought you were having dinner with Simon’s parents. Is it them? A more patient woman than Joyce would be driven to kill Marvin most days.”

  “I…I…”

  “Rose, take a deep breath. Where are you?”

  “At the chapel,” I wailed. “There’s a body where I’m supposed to say my vows!”

  Chapter Five

  “It’s going to be fine,” Joyce said as I paced her hotel room.

  Simon had me take his parents away from the crime scene while his coworkers had shown up to process the body and the evidence.

  “There was a dead body in the chapel,” I moaned. “Even if people get over it eventually, they won’t before Sunday! This is a disaster. Every time I watch our wedding video, I’ll be thinking of how someone was killed right where Simon and I promised to love each other forever.”

  I sat down on the end of her bed.
I was trying not to cry when someone knocked on the hotel room door. Marvin rose and opened it.

  He told me as the door swung open, “It’s a disaster for that guy’s family. It’s unfortunate for you.”

  “She knows that Marvin,” Joyce snarled. “Leave her be!”

  Zee walked into the hotel room, glanced around and then said, “What a disaster!”

  “I know,” I wailed. “Oh my goodness. I’m such a cow to be thinking of my wedding, but I am! I’m thinking of my wedding.”

  “Nah,” Zee said, almost callously. “No one even recognized that guy. He looks a bit homeless, to be honest.”

  “So it’s ok because the person was homeless. Murder is murder, Zee.” Marvin’s sarcastic gaze filled Zee with wrath, you could see it blaze from her gaze.

  “I’m not saying that,” Zee said. “I’m saying that Rose isn’t constitutionally obligated to mourn every person that dies. At least not personally. It’s possible to recognize the human race has lost what the victim contributed without having to weep into her pillow over him. Don’t mess with me, Marvin. I’m not in the mood.”

  “I”m going to get cake,” he said, shooting us all an irritated look.

  Before he slammed the door shut, Zee called, “Don’t forget to cry into your frosting over the dead guy you don’t know!”

  The door slammed and then Joyce said, “Oh. Well.”

  “Rose,” Zee said, “I’m going to make all of Simon’s dreams come true right now.”

  I looked up at her and Joyce wrapped her arm around me.

  “This case is none of your business.” Zee

  I blinked. Was she…was she telling me to stay out of this murder case? Zee’s hands were on her hips, and her gaze was a sheer order.

  “You aren’t a cop. You don’t know this guy. Your friends aren’t suspects. This is the sad case of someone who was in the wrong place at the wrong time and it’s Carver’s problem.”

  She was. She was telling me stay out of this murder case.