‘What stuff?’ I ask genuinely interested.
‘Beating on a female. No one will tolerate that in our pack, ever,’ Jared answers.
‘So anyway, that’s how the two of you met. Howard was kicking Brody’s arse, and you stepped in, and threatened to cut off his balls.’
‘What happened after that?’
‘Well, you would have to ask Howard really about the stuff with the two of you, but I know Brody wanted to come here. Howard didn’t have to force the issue. Brody was going to get you out from that pack one way or another.’ I smile at her words about Brody. He’d always been there for me. Always.
‘One thing I will say about your brother is he’s a really good guy and an asset to the pack, but he’s been a real arsehole when it comes to Howard.’
‘He has?’ They both nod at me in answer. Devon kind of smiles in a ‘you ain’t kidding’ kind of way. ‘Why?’ Again, I’m genuinely interested. I want to know about him.
‘Because of your age.’ I frown and think on that a little bit. I hadn’t given it much thought until it was mentioned. I run through the memories of my birthdays—never anything extravagant, only usually a card and gift from dad until Brody got older and then after dad died, from him. I remember turning seventeen, but I don’t know when that was.
‘How old am I?’ I ask nervously waiting for the answer.
‘Seventeen,’ Jared announces.
‘Phew, I was hoping I hadn’t missed too much. This is so weird. I didn’t know if I’d had more birthdays.’
‘No, but you have one coming up.’ Devon smiles.
‘January third. What date is it?’
‘It’s New Year’s Eve.’
‘Oh wow. Okay, so it’s really soon.’ I nod.
‘We will have to celebrate. Hopefully, you and Howard will both be home by then.’
‘Where is home?’
‘Did Brody not tell you any of this?’ Jared asks sounding a bit pissed off. I shake my head in answer. ‘Honestly, I don’t think I was ready for any of it.’
‘Fair enough. Well, I’ll leave you two to chat. I’ve gotta make a few calls,’ Jared says reaching for his phone and kissing Devon on the lips. His hand slides across her stomach, and he pats it and tells her he loves her. They are the epitome of being in love. As he leaves the room, her eyes follow him, and she doesn’t turn back to me until he is out of sight. I smile as our eyes meet.
‘What?’ She smiles knowing what I’m smiling at.
‘That’s got to be nice—having your one true mate. It’s said that only half of us find them in our lifetime.’
‘It’s the best, and you will know that soon enough because you’re one of the lucky ones too.’ I must look worried because her tone changes.
‘Listen, I know everyone is hoping that you get your memory back and that you just spring right back into life as you did, but realistically, it may never come back, have you thought about that?’
I sigh. ‘Yeah, I have. I guess I need to just get to know everyone and go from there?’
‘Why don’t you start with someone in particular?’
I know she means Howard, and I know I should, but more than having his bonding scent, I don’t know or feel anything.
‘Have you ever heard of a female leaving her bonded mate?’
Her face changes and she looks panicked. ‘I’m not the right person to ask about that, but I don’t think it would be good, at least not for Howard. You need to at least try, Willow. Don’t make a decision like that now, please. I’m sure, given time, you will know your feelings for him, even without your memory. Things like that don’t happen by accident.’
I nod my agreement and inhale deeply. ‘I guess you’re right.’
‘Willow, I am a bonded female. I know what the connection feels like. I know what it’s like to worry when they’re in danger, injured, or even just away from you. I feel a pull. It’s like a need, almost a hunger to be near him. And if it’s that strong for me, I can’t imagine how he feels. Howard is a really good guy, Willow. If you left, it would kill him. He is so fiercely loyal, and he loves you with everything he has. I know because I see it, and you will too, just give him a chance.’
‘It’s just Brody is so set—’
‘Brody doesn’t know Howard well enough to make that judgement, and I’m sorry, I know he’s your brother, and I do like him a lot, but he’s being a fucking asshole.’
My brows shoot up, and I smile at her blatant honesty.
‘Just give Howard a chance, okay? You already told your brother to butt out once. I’m fairly sure you’ll do the same again.’
I SLEPT IN own bed for the first time in what feels like months—and it felt wrong. I went to sleep alone and woke up alone too. It’s Willow’s birthday today. I’ve trawled through countless online sites until I found what I wanted. It’s not exactly what I’d like to give her but it has a strong meaning behind it, and I’m hoping that comes through when she opens it. I wish I were with her now, waking up with her, able to hold her in my arms and make love to her. I sigh and throw off the comforter. I’m still hurting inside, but it’s bearable.
As soon as Willow was discharged, I wanted to be home with her. No way was I staying there without her.
I take a shower and get dressed, pondering how I’m going to give her the gift—how she’ll react. Who will be there—if she will even want to be alone with me. I haven’t seen her since I got back yesterday. I went straight to her room, and she seemed okay with that.
That’s what I’ll do.
I get dressed and go straight there. It’s early enough that hopefully no one else will be up yet and I’ll be the first person to wish her a happy birthday. I knock gently, and there’s no answer. I knock again, a little louder. The door swings open and Brody stands in the doorway.
‘What?’
‘Brody, I don’t have time for a pissing contest. I came to wish my female a happy birthday.’
‘You know, they say things happen for a reason. My guess is this happened so she could get out from under you.’
I grit my teeth and grind my jaw, closing my eyes against the vision my brain is giving me of pasting this bastard all over the floor. I speak to him in a cold, quiet voice.
‘I have to remind myself the reason I shouldn’t kill you, every time you open your mouth. One day I may just forget,’ I tell him through gritted teeth. ‘Now, move the fuck outta my way.’ I physically move him, and the minute I pass his frame, I see Willow. She still looks pale, but every day she’s looking better. I smile.
‘Hey, sweetheart, happy birthday.’ Her face lights up a little when I present her with the small box and a card.
‘Oh… you shouldn’t have,’ she says smiling, a little embarrassed.
‘Of course I should.’ I smile. ‘Any chance I can speak to you alone?’ I ask still smiling. Her nod is all the approval I need.
‘Brody, can you step out for an hour.’
‘No,’ he says looking at Willow to back him up—fucking arsehole.
‘I’d like that, Brody, please.’ He looks mighty pissed, but he goes like a good little pup. The door closes, and he waits a while outside the door. Rookie move. I’m not a fucking idiot. I shake my head, rolling my eyes until eventually he huffs and walks away.
‘Why does he hate you so much?’ Willow asks.
‘No idea. He’s just had a stick up his arse since I met you. I guess he thinks I’m not good enough for you.’ I shrug my shoulders. ‘Shit, even I don’t think I’m good enough.’
‘Why do you say that?’
I sigh. This is not how I envisioned this morning going. ‘Because, I’m older than you, by too much. Not that it bothered you.’ I chuckle.
‘How old are you?’
‘Twenty-two.’
She snorts back a laugh. ‘Jesus I thought you were going to say much older. What’s four years in the grand scheme of things?’
‘Almost five, but, good to know you still feel that way. B
rody never wanted us together, but more so, he didn’t want us too… um…you know… sleep together, and when he found out we had, he didn’t take it so well.’
‘Oh my god, you mean I’m not a virgin?’
I am gobsmacked… ‘I…ah… I…’
‘I’m just messing with you. I know I can’t be if we’ve bonded.’ She all but falls off the bed laughing. I laugh too, and as our laughter dies down, I’m fucking desperate to taste her lips. I move towards her, and she freezes. Her eyes widen, and I can tell she’s not feeling the moment like I am. I pull back. I have a huge ass lump in my throat.
‘I’m sorry,’ I croak out.
She shakes her head. ‘Don’t apologise, Howard. I’m your female. This has to be really hard for you. It’s just… I’m not ready, I feel…’
‘It’s too soon. I understand. It won’t happen again, I’m sorry.’ I stand to leave.
‘Don’t go. I haven’t even opened my gift.’
‘Wait until you’re alone. It’s a promise.’ I tell her kissing the top of her head.
I turn, walking straight out of the door. I’m scared I’ll see a negative reaction to my words and gift. Brody is at the end of the corridor. Fucker. I hold in my emotions. I will not break in front of him. I get to my door just as he passes it on his way back to Willow.
With my back to the inside of the door, I close my eyes and silently the tears fall, for the first time since my dad killed my mother.
***
Willow
I’m still reeling from that almost kiss when Brody strides back in. He notices the box in my hand, and he frowns. I move, placing it on the bedside table. His eyes follow it, and I know he’s desperate to ask me what’s inside. But he doesn’t. I keep the card under my hands, tapping my fingertips on it gently.
‘I was going to bring you some breakfast, but I didn’t know how long he was staying,’ he grumbles. ‘I know you can’t change yet, so a run is out of the question, but I thought I’d maybe take you out for a walk?’
‘That would be nice, but maybe later, okay? I think I’d like to be alone for a bit.’ His eyes widen. ‘What’s wrong? Did he upset you?’
‘Brody,’ I chastise. ‘Of course he didn’t. I just want to be on my own, and I want to be allowed to get to know Howard without having this every time he comes to see me. I really think you’re being unfair.’
‘I know him a little better than you do right now.’
‘Yes, thanks for reminding me, but the others think the same.’
‘Others?’
‘Yes, other members of the pack, Brody. Those people who grew up with him, and know him inside out. They’re all rooting for us to be together.’
‘You don’t even know who he is!’ he yells, and I take in a deep calming breath. I will not lose my shit.
‘He is my mate, and that means something to me. I’ve had time to sit and think about it all, and I know I wouldn’t have just had a one-night stand, or meaningless sex, Brody—that is not me. And if I know nothing else, I know me.’
‘I just don’t want you to get hurt.’
‘I’m a big girl. I wear big girl pants now, Brody.’ He sniggers at that. ‘Why don’t you give me half an hour and then I’ll eat with you?’ I ask.
‘Sure, you coming to the kitchen or shall I bring you some food up?’
‘I’ll stay put for now,’ I tell him smiling. He leaves me alone, and the first thing I do is open the card Howard gave me. On the front, it says: ‘To The One I Love’. I open it, ignoring the verse inside. Instead, going to the handwritten one on the inside cover.
Willow,
What we have is special,
I know you feel it too.
Because what lies in my heart,
lies inside yours too.
Every day we spend apart
a little of me dies inside.
But I know one day you’ll remember
and never have to hide.
The feelings that we share. A moment, a kiss,
Our never-ending bliss.
If only you could remember,
if only your heart spoke out.
If only… if only…
is all I can think about.
I swear I will make you happy,
And I’ll try not to make you blue,
I know I’m not perfect, Willow,
but all my love is for you.
Always,
today and every day
Howard x
I close the card, unable to read the actual birthday message. I don’t know how to feel. It’s so sweet and loving—romantic, but it feels like it’s for someone else. It feels like I’m reading a card that doesn’t belong to me. I feel so cruel, so heartless, and numb. How can I be with him when he’s a stranger to me? I pick up the box and looking at the size, I almost don’t open it. What if it’s an engagement ring? Taking a deep breath, I pull on the red ribbon and tear off the small amount of wrapping paper, and when my fingers clasp a velvety box, I know it’s jewellery. I almost can’t look. I squeeze my eyes closed and flick the box open. Opening my eyes, I gasp, as I see a band of diamonds and rubies entwined—the ring itself forms an infinity sign. I lift it from its housing and engraved inside are the words: ‘Forever Is My Promise To You’ This guy really does love me. Why… why can’t I just remember? There is a soft knock on the door, followed by, ‘Can we come in?’
‘Yes.’ I giggle as the door opens and two huge-ass balloons with a number one and a number eight, come through, followed by a huge bunch of flowers and then Devon, Zoe, and Maiya, who proceed to sing Happy Birthday to me, all together. The ring is still in my hand and like a magpie, Zoe zones in on it.
‘Wow, girl. You did well!’ When they’ve all finished cooing over my ring, I slip it back in the box and close the lid.
‘What are you doing? A ring like that is made to be worn!’ Zoe exclaims. ‘Don’t you dare hide it away.’ I laugh, but inside my stomach is churning.
‘Zoe,’ Devon says in order to calm her down, seeing the look on my face.
‘What’s wrong?’ she asks. The tears flow freely now, and I don’t know what to say. The card is tucked safely in the envelope against my thigh, and they haven’t yet seen it. They all got so excited about the ring, but, well, the card feels private somehow. I feel sure he wouldn’t want his words shown around the pack. So, I clutch it close to me.
‘Nothing, it’s just a little overwhelming, that’s all.’
‘I know our singing was good, but I didn’t think we were that good’ Maiya chimes in clearly trying to lighten the mood.
‘Speak for yourself, Maiya. I know we were amazing,’ Devon chimes in, making me giggle.
‘Hey now, come on, you can’t be sad on your birthday,’ Zoe coaxes as she wipes away my tears with her thumb. ‘It’s not allowed.’
‘Agreed,’ Maiya and Devon say together. I smile at them all, so kind and caring. ‘Come on, time for gifts,’ Devon says with a huge grin on her face. I roll my eyes in defeat.
‘You really shouldn’t have…’
‘Oh shush. You only turn eighteen once in your life, and it’s a special occasion. Besides, we didn’t get that much time to choose gifts, what with you all being in the hospital, so don’t get all sappy yet, it’s not much.’
The fact that I’ve never had a birthday like this goes unspoken and unnoticed. How can this be the most special birthday I’ve ever had and yet, I’m surrounded by virtual strangers who because I’m one of their pack, are treating me with kindness and care like I’ve never known.
I have only ever had Brody, and he’s always been there for me since that day he came home and vowed to keep me safe.
A parcel gets thrust into my hands, bringing me back to the now.
‘I hope you like it,’ Devon squeaks through a toothy smile.
I open the wrapping and find a gift card taped to some huge chocolate bars. I smile instantly. I love chocolate. But I have never seen this kind before.
‘
Okay, so let me explain. Galaxy chocolate is THE best chocolate, and we don’t have it in the states, so I indulged and bought you every kind.’ She smiles. ‘It’s to die for.’
‘Thank you. I love it.’ I hold up the gift card. It’s black and has writing on, which you need to catch in the right light in order to see it. When I do, the writing appears like a hologram. ‘Victoria’s Secret.’
‘Wow, thanks so much. You really shouldn’t have.’ Before I can finish the words, I get another envelope and a bunch of flowers given to me from Maiya. ‘It’s not a lot…’ she says. I open the envelope expecting a card, but instead, it’s a voucher to a local restaurant, stating ‘three courses and house wine for two.’
‘That is so sweet, thank you.’ She smiles as Zoe hands over the last gift. It’s a rather big box, and it has a beautifully tied bow, keeping the black box closed. I am so overwhelmed by their kindness. I pull on the bow and lift the lid, inside is a beautiful black dress. I lift it from the box. It has intricate lace covering the whole thing. I can’t speak… it looks like something a model would wear.
‘It means a lot to me that you all did this. I can’t believe it.’
‘Well, we kinda have an ulterior motive.’ Devon smiles like a naughty kid.
‘Okaaay?’ I ask exaggerating my suspicion.
‘Well, we thought, buy a nice dress, add a nice restaurant and some new underwear, add in a hot guy and da dah! A hot date.’ They all look at me like naughty schoolgirls now. Devon looks a little worried when I don’t speak straight away. ‘Too much?’ she asks. I shake my head and close my eyes against the tears threatening to spill over.
‘Oh, hey don’t cry. This was supposed to make you happy, not sad. Oh, sweetie,’ Zoe says hugging me into her chest.
‘Thank you. All of you. This is so nice of you,’ I stutter against her boobs.
‘Umm, you might want to let her come up for air, Zo,’ Maiya giggles.
‘Ooops sorry.’ We all laugh as I reach for the tissues.
‘God, I’m a mess.’ I laugh.
IT’S BEEN TWO days since I saw Willow. I can’t sit around any longer. I need something to do. Unable to go for a run yet, with my injury still reeking havoc on my body, I slam my bedroom door. I’m tired and fucking irritable. I need to stay away from people today. I find myself in the gym room. There isn’t much in here: a punchbag, some loose weights and a treadmill, but it’s enough for what I need today. Willow hasn’t left her room, and I haven’t been back to see her since her birthday, but I was hoping she’d reach out after reading that poem and seeing the promise ring, and when she didn’t, it fucking hurt.
Fated Love (Stone Pack book 3) Page 16
