I don’t know how to feel about it. I can’t be angry with her for not remembering me. I shouldn’t be angry with anyone, but I am. I’m fucking angry at everything and everyone right now. And I can’t help it. I start slowly on the treadmill, picking up pace, knowing I have to take it easy and not do anything too strenuous, but then I kick it up a notch anyway. Normally, an hour, running flat out wouldn’t faze me, but fifteen minutes in and I hurt. I kick it up again and raise the incline. Another five minutes pass. My lungs are fucking screaming at me, but I don’t stop. After a thirty-minute run, I’m in agony. I move over to the loose weights, and lay on the bench, giving myself a short timeout. Closing my eyes, I even out my breathing, and wait for my heartbeat to slow to an acceptable pace. The door opens, and I sit up, to find Brad in the doorway.
‘Jordan didn’t make it. Doc has just called.’
With my head in my hands, I sigh. ‘Fuck.’ I shake my head. ‘Was hoping he’d pull through.’
‘Didn’t look good from the off, but we all hoped he would.’
‘You told Brody?’
‘No, Jared just got the call, and I came to find you, think he will be next to know though.’
‘He should be held fucking accountable. It was his fuck up that landed Jordan in the shit.’
‘Is that the pack enforcer talking or is that a pissed off boyfriend?’
Looking up at the ceiling, I rub my hands over my face and run my fingers through my hair.
‘I don’t know the difference at the minute.’
‘You need to let off some steam.’
‘Only two ways I can do that, and I can’t do either right now.’ Fucking and running as a wolf are my outlets. Everyone knows it. And being unable to do either is churning me up inside.
‘You want me to spot you?’ he asks motioning to the weights.
‘Yeah, thanks.’ I lay back, and we don’t speak another word, as I lift in repetitions of ten.
***
It’s another twenty-four hours before I finally give in and go to Willow’s room. I’ve managed to avoid the girls and their questions, and thankfully the guys don’t ask me anything. But it is time. She can’t avoid me forever. I’m not sure what reception I’m going to get from her. I’m not even sure if she wants to try with me. But what I am sure of is that my bond with her won’t allow me not to try. So here I am at her door. Again. Like a desperate loser with a habit I can’t kick. I knock on her door. I know Brody isn’t in there because Jared put him on guard duty, and I sense she’s on her own. My stomach churns with nervous energy. And as I stand there, maybe a minute too long, I’m thinking she doesn’t want to see me. I sigh in defeat, but as I turn to walk away, the door springs open.
‘Hi.’ she smiles. I want to grin, but I hold it back.
‘Hi,’ I mumble. ‘Can I come in?’
‘Sure.’ She opens the door wide, and I take in her outfit, my eyes sweeping up and down her entirely. Willow’s body is amazing in anything, but she is wearing a cropped tee and cropped leggings showing off her midriff and ankles, the tee has a V-neck, and her cleavage is on show. It’s fucking killing me to keep my hands off her. I clench my fists at my sides so I don’t reach out. I walk past her into the room.
‘You look better,’ I start.
‘I feel it—bones heal quickly I guess, and the bruising…’ She shrugs it off like it was nothing.
‘Well, you look really… beautiful,’ I tell her hesitantly. I get a shy smile as she sits on the edge of her bed, facing me.
‘Where were you?’ she asks chewing on her lip.
‘I was around,’ I tell her honestly.
‘But you didn’t come by?’ I shake my head no. ‘Why not?’
‘I guess I was hoping you might have wanted to come and see me.’
‘Oh.’ She’s surprised. ‘I didn’t… I wouldn’t know… well… I guess I should have.’ That gets my attention piqued. Our eyes meet, and I hold the stare.
‘Willow… I’ve fucking missed you so much. I can’t even tell you.’
‘I missed you too… does that sound crazy?’
I think my heart skips a few beats as I process those words. I shake my head. ‘No it doesn’t. I’m your mate. Your heart knows that even if you don’t.’
‘Maybe.’ She smiles a little, and she is so damn cute when she looks up at me through her lashes. ‘I wanted to say thank you, but I was scared.’
‘Why scared?’
She shrugs her shoulders. I change my stance and fold my arms across my chest. ‘Willow, look at me.’ She does. ‘You don’t ever need to be scared of me. I will never hurt you, ever, are we clear?’
‘Yes… I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t do that, don’t apologise for it.’
‘It’s all just… I don’t know—’
‘Confusing?’ I add finishing her sentence. She laughs a little.
‘Yeah, it’s very confusing. It’s just I feel like I know you, but I don’t. I want to open up… but then…’ She inhales a huge breath, and I think I know where we’re going with this convo.
‘Brody?’ I ask knowingly.
‘Yeah. He’s… it’s a problem, and I don’t really know how to get past it at the moment. He wants to be here every minute of the day, and I have no time to think. And when I tell him I want to speak to you, he gets pissy. I don’t ever remember him being this protective of me. And I keep thinking to myself that maybe he knows something I don’t.’
‘Willow, there is nothing about me that I wouldn’t tell you right here and now. There’s nothing that I have ever done to hurt you or would do—absolutely nothing. Brody doesn’t like me being with you—never wanted me near you and I have no idea why, but please don’t rule us out. At least try. You owe that much to yourself.’
She doesn’t say anything to that, and I think I’ve probably blown it. But then she surprises me, and she shuffles back, leans against the headboard of the bed and pats the spot beside her. I almost jump into action, reminding myself I have to take this slowly and carefully. I notice she doesn’t have the ring on either hand and my heart sinks just a little bit. But I have to keep faith in us.
‘Okay, listen, can we play a game?’
‘What kinda game?’ I ask dubiously.
‘A bit like truth or dare but without the dare.’ She laughs.
‘So you wanna just ask me questions then?’ I grin shaking my head as she laughs.
‘I guess?’
‘Shoot?’
‘Oh… okay… umm… how many girlfriends have you had?’
‘One… that’s you.’
She bites her lip and looks around the room for inspiration—maybe courage for the next question. ‘Umm… okay. Where do your thoughts lie on a female’s place in the pack?’
‘What do you mean?’ I ask wanting her to be a bit more specific.
‘Well… like where would you expect my place to be?’
‘By my side, I guess?’
‘Yes, but doing what?’
‘Whatever it is you want to do. I’ll support you just as I hope you would support me?’ Her back straightens, and she smiles a huge fucking smile.
‘So, if I wanted to go and work in a human hospital or a café or as a mechanics apprentice you would be okay with that?’
‘Well, I won’t lie, I’d prefer you stuck with our own kind, but that’s only because I’d be happier knowing the pack have your back.’
‘So you don’t think a woman’s place is in the kitchen or that I should be seen and not heard?’
‘Jesus no. You do speak to the other females in this pack, right? The guys may not wanna admit it, but their women carry their balls in their purses. Sweetheart, you and me, we’re equals, and I’m not a fucking caveman, despite how I might come across to people who don’t know me.’
‘I don’t think you’re a caveman.’
‘Good to know.’ I laugh. ‘Any more questions?’
‘What about you? Your life before me?’
‘What do you want to know?’
‘All of it. I want to know you.’
I inhale deeply, thinking about where to start. ‘Okay, well, my father was abusive to my mother and me. He eventually killed my mother.’ I hear her small gasp, and it’s like déjà vu, but I carry on anyway. ‘Mr Stone took me into his home, and I grew up with Jared from then on. Mr Stone killed my father.’
‘My dad died when I was young,’ she tells me honestly. ‘He was a good dad. Always there for me. I’m sorry you never had that,’ she says sympathetically.
‘Yeah, he was a bastard, but I was treated like a son and a brother by Mr Stone and Jared.’
‘Jared is the alpha, right? But we have his dad too? It’s a bit confusing.’
‘We are one pack, and we have an overall Alpha, Jared’s dad, but we live away from the main pack. Jared is the alpha heir, and the alpha of this section of the pack, and I am his enforcer, so second in command if you like, but we answer to Jared, and Jared answers to his father until he becomes the overall alpha, are you following?’
‘Yeah, explained like that, it’s easy. It’s kind of like a business you have a CEO and an area manager.’
‘Yeah, can’t say I’ve ever looked at it that way, but yeah, that’s exactly it.’
We spend the whole day just chatting and getting to know each other. I check my watch and know Brody is due back anytime, so I get up from the bed.
‘So, now that you know I’m not a serial killer, can I take you out?’ Her whole face lights up, and she bites her damn lip.
‘I’d really like that.’
Now she’s agreed, I’m not letting her change her mind.
‘Tonight?’ Her smile broadens before she once again bites down on that lip.
‘Yes.’
‘I’ll be here to pick you up around seven then?’
She licks her lips as I open the door slightly and turn to face her. I want to kiss her so badly, but the last time I did that, I fucked up, so I refrain. Instead, I open the door fully and step through. She stands in between the door and the frame, with her hip leaning against it, looking fucking perfect. Her head tilts to the side, and the things I want to do to her run through my mind unchecked and my dick stands to attention and becomes uncomfortable.
‘Okay, then, seven it is.’ I nod in answer.
‘Can’t wait,’ she says all breathy. I grin as I walk away.
As I round the stairs, I walk right into Brody. I can’t help but grin wider. His eyes narrow, and I can tell he has something he wants to say but doesn’t.
AFTER ARGUING WITH Brody that I am going out with Howard whether he agrees or not, he finally gives up and leaves me to get ready, telling me all he wants is what’s best for me. He also tells me that a boy named Jordan, who was with us when I was taken, has died this morning. I feel guilty, and I know he does. He is all twisted up inside, telling me it is his fault, but he won’t go into detail. So, I leave it. Maybe it’s something I can ask Howard about.
I check myself out in the mirror on the back of the bathroom door. I’m wearing skinny jeans with ripped knees and wedge boots. And I have on a red V-neck top with three-quarter sleeves, and my hair is down. I don’t own any makeup, and I’m not bothered really. I wonder if I wore it in the time I have lost?
Howard knocks on my door promptly at seven p.m. I open up and step out. He stares at me for a second too long, and I wonder if there’s something wrong with what I’m wearing.
‘You look… fucking beautiful,’ he says putting my mind at ease.
‘You don’t look so bad either,’ I tell him shyly. He has on denim bootcut jeans, which hug his huge thighs and a dark grey t-shirt, which makes his dirty blonde hair look amazing. Across his arm, he has a black jacket.
‘Thank you!’ he says with a smile in his tone. ‘So, I thought I’d take you out for dinner and maybe the cinema?’
‘Dinner and a movie? Sounds like a plan!’ He holds out his hand, and I take it without even thinking about it. It feels right somehow. We reach his car, and I notice two other guys get in a car behind us.
Howard notices me looking. ‘It’s just precaution right now. Although Daniel isn’t a threat anymore, we don’t know if the rest of the pack left or if they’re seeking revenge. I won’t risk you getting hurt,’ he tells me plainly and honestly.
I nod in acceptance. ‘Thank you,’ I whisper as he opens the door for me.
‘What for?’ He smiles
‘Being protective.’
He frowns but then smiles at me.
‘I will always be protective, Willow. You are mine to protect.’ I look away, a little thrown by that. It’s just so strange being told that I am his.
‘Sorry,’ he says as I pull on my seatbelt.
‘No, no, don’t be. It’s just… a little strange that’s all, belonging to someone.’
‘I wish you could remember how it feels.’
‘I’m not sure it will ever come back.’
‘Well, if I have to win you over again, challenge accepted,’ he jokes. But I hear the sad undertone in his voice. ‘We weren’t together long, but our bond was so instantaneous it didn’t matter. We were still getting to know each other.’
‘Well, I’m glad really because it must be tedious for you to repeat everything.’
‘I don’t care if I have to repeat myself every day for the rest of my life, so long as you’re my mate.’
I press my hand to my heart. ‘Oh my god. You are so fucking sweet,’ I mock.
He laughs out loud. ‘No, I’m not sweet at all, and don’t you dare tell anyone!’ he says with wide eyes and a mocking tone.
‘Oh, your secret is safe with me, Romeo, I swear.’ I’m giggling now at his mock-serious tone.
‘Cut it out. Fucking Romeo? Now you’re going way too far.’ We laugh the whole journey, and by the time we arrive at the restaurant I’ve forgotten we even have someone following and watching us. He is so easy to be around. We wait to be seated and are invited, after being given a buzzer (which will activate when the table is ready), to sit at the bar. Howard lifts me onto a high stool with ease and climbs onto the one by my side. He hands me a cocktail menu, and with wide eyes I scan it looking for something I may recognise. There is nothing.
‘See anything you like?’
‘Ummm, not sure what I like. I’ve never had alcohol before.’
‘Well, you have actually.’
My brows shoot up in surprise. ‘I have? Can you remember what I like?’
‘Ummhmm,’ he says smiling. I bite my lip against saying something stupid. He is very sexy when he looks at me like that. Oh my, where did that come from? The bartender asks what we would like, and my eyes don’t leave Howard.
‘A cosmopolitan for the lady, and I will have JD and coke please.’ He hands over the cash, and the guy gets mixing my cocktail. He is spinning glass bottles and shaking stuff up, crushing ice and doing some real genius shit, but all this is going on in my peripheral because all I can do is watch Howard watching the guy work. To anyone else, he looks sullen and arrogant. But to me, he looks sexy and hot and all kinds of mysterious. I can feel heat flush my cheeks as I watch him with a feeling of desire. I have never felt anything for a guy in my life, and I’m a bit surprised by the sudden onset of feelings I have coursing through me. And right as I feel the heat between my legs, his eyes meet mine and a half smile tugs at his lips. I squeeze my thighs together in the hope that I can contain my arousal. His head tilts to the side, and he licks his bottom lip, his eyes never leaving mine. I feel like the air in the room is getting thick and hot as his hand reaches out for mine. With his other, he beckons me close, and his breath fans across my ear as I lean into him.
‘I do hope that’s for me,’ he whispers leaving me almost lost for what to say, and I quickly realise he’s waiting for an answer. I don’t even know how to answer. I feel so embarrassed.
‘Are you surprised?’ he asks, and when I don’t answer him, he continues. ‘At how you feel?’
he confirms.
‘Yes,’ I pant, feeling all kinds of flustered.
‘Don’t fight it. Don’t fight fate.’ He sits back as the guy places my fancy drink in front of me. Don’t fight fate. Is that what this is? Are we destined? It’s such a romantic notion. And you would never expect him to be so romantic. But he is. I don’t know why it surprises me, but it does. He sips his drink, and his eyes barely leave mine. But then the buzzer goes off, and he stands and deftly lifts me by the hips from the stool, and we make our way to the guy assigning tables. We get a very private booth towards the back near the kitchen. Howard inspects the surrounding area and decides he is happy with it, nodding to the guy his acceptance. The waiter bows his head and leaves us with menus.
‘Are you ready for another drink?’ Howard asks, and I realise then that I am probably drinking melted ice by this point, so I nod a yes please, and go back to checking out the menu. It’s Mexican, and I like the sound of just about everything on the menu.
‘Do you know Mexican food?’ he asks me, interrupting my train of thought.
‘I do, and I like just about everything, so I’m finding it hard to choose.’
‘Then let me,’ he says, and without missing a beat, his hand is in the air beckoning the waiter.
He orders more drinks first and then starts reeling off our order. I have to wonder if someone is joining us when he gets to the fourth starter and is still adding more. The waiter though, just jots it all down on his pad and doesn’t question how much he’s ordering.
The drinks are flowing, and I feel very tipsy. My confidence has grown with each cocktail. The starters arrive and are placed in the centre of the table, and we are handed small plates so we can help ourselves. Howard gets straight on with piling his plate. I sip on my cocktail and watch as he does.
Fated Love (Stone Pack book 3) Page 17
