Deep Freeze

by Diane Muldrow

  Chapter 12

  Shawn was glad that she got to stay home from school on Tuesday. After her doctor’s appointment, she worked on her blue painting, and then took a long nap. When she woke, she was surprised to find her dad in his office, working on his new book.

  “Hey, Dad,” Shawn said with a yawn. “Don’t you have to teach classes today?”

  “I cancelled my classes,” Mr. Jordan explained with a smile. “I wanted to be here in case you need anything.”

  “Oh. Thanks,” Shawn said. “Actually, I do need something—lunch. I’m really hungry!”

  Mr. Jordan laughed. “Me, too! Mrs. Moore stopped by while you were asleep. The twins made a big pot of matzoh ball soup for you!”

  “Wow—that was so nice of them,” Shawn exclaimed. “I love their matzoh ball soup!”

  “Mrs. Moore was so relieved to hear that you were okay,” Mr. Jordan said as he heated the soup. “She’s taking the twins shopping for dresses for Natasha’s bat mitzvah this afternoon and was wondering if we wanted to come along—if you’re up to it.”

  “Really? Even though I didn’t go to school today?” Shawn asked. “Awesome!”

  “Well, there is one condition—you have to finish this big bowl of soup first,” Mr. Jordan teased. “So eat up!”

  A few hours later, Shawn and her dad met Molly, Amanda, and Mrs. Moore in the Juniors’ department of Macy’s. Mrs. Moore gave Shawn a big hug.

  “What did I miss at school?” Shawn asked the twins.

  “Well, everyone was talking about you,” Amanda said. “But not in a bad way. They were saying what an evil witch Angie is, and how she’s totally jealous of you because you are way cooler than she could, like, ever hope to be.”

  “Really?”

  “Yup. And everyone was worried when you stayed home, but Molls and I told them you were okay. You’re, like, a celebrity now!”

  “And everyone’s talking about how Angie got suspended for two weeks!” Molly added. “I don’t think she should even bother coming back to school.”

  “What kind of dresses are you guys looking for?” Shawn asked, changing the subject quickly. The last thing she wanted to talk about was Angie.

  “I asked Natasha and she said that we should wear a nice outfit to the temple, but a fancy dress to the party that night! Let’s get in there and start shopping!” Amanda exclaimed.

  The twins and Shawn combed the racks with Mrs. Moore, while Mr. Jordan stood back and watched. Soon, they had several beautiful dresses to try on.

  “Come on, let’s hit the dressing room!” Amanda said.

  Giggling, the twins and Shawn helped one another try on the dresses. Molly liked the first one she tried on—a navy satin dress with short sleeves and a straight skirt. Amanda and Shawn had a little more difficulty picking out their dresses.

  “You guys look great in all of them,” Molly pointed out. “Shawn, that red one looks really nice on you. And Amanda, you love the lacy one. Why don’t you try them on again and we’ll ask Mom and Mr. Jordan?”

  “Good idea, Molly,” said Shawn.

  “Yeah—who knew Molls would ever give fashion advice?” Amanda joked.

  Shawn slipped into a ruby-colored velvet dress that had spaghetti straps and a flared skirt. Amanda picked a cream-colored lace slip dress that had tiny, off-the-shoulder sleeves. “This isn’t what I thought I’d get,” she said. “But I love it!”

  The girls hurried out of the dressing room to show their parents.

  “You look stunning,” said Mrs. Moore. “Oh, you’re all growing up!”

  “I think you three picked the most beautiful dresses in the place,” Mr. Jordan added with a grin.

  That night, Shawn couldn’t sleep. I don’t want to go back to school tomorrow, she realized. I wish I hadn’t said I’d do the mediation thing. What if Angie’s really terrible to me? I don’t want to be anywhere near her.

  She slipped out of bed and walked to her closet to look at her new dress, but it didn’t make her feel better. I missed Mom so much today, Shawn thought. I miss her more and more. It’s not getting easier.

  Shawn turned off the light and crawled back into bed. I don’t want to start crying again, she thought angrily. I’ve been crying too much lately! Enough, already!

  But she couldn’t stop the tears.

  After school the next day, Shawn met her father at the main office. To her relief, Angie wasn’t there yet.

  “Hi, baby,” he said warmly when she walked in. “How was school today?”

  “Good. Better than I thought it would be,” Shawn replied. “People treated me pretty normally.”

  Miss Hinkle smiled at Shawn over her funny, old-fashioned half-glasses. “Ms. Martinez just called—they’re running late and will be here in about ten minutes.”

  Angie’s always late, Shawn thought. Guess her mom is, too. Shawn tried to ignore the queasy feeling in her stomach.

  Mr. Jordan leaned over and whispered, “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, Shawn,” as if he knew what she was feeling.

  “Thanks, Dad,” Shawn told him. “But I just want to get it over with.”

  A few minutes later, the door opened and Angie and Ms. Martinez entered. With an ugly scowl on her face, Angie sat at the opposite end of the bench from Shawn.

  Ms. Martinez was a very thin woman with blonde hair pulled into a tight ponytail. She marched up to the desk to tell Miss Hinkle they had arrived, then turned to Shawn and Mr. Jordan. “I’m very sorry for how Angie has behaved,” she said coldly. “She’s been severely punished.” Then Ms. Martinez sat next to Angie. They both ignored each other.

  Poor Angie, Shawn thought. Ms. Martinez seems so mean. And she’s all that Angie has.

  “Shawn? Angie? Right this way, please.”

  A middle-aged woman with long, curly red hair stood in the doorway. Her gray eyes were kind as she smiled at Shawn and Angie.

  Here we go, Shawn thought, feeling her heart beat faster. She and Angie followed the woman to a small conference room next to Principal Wagner’s office. Shawn could see Principal Wagner at her desk, and felt better knowing that she was close by.

  “My name is Jill Newman,” said the woman as everyone sat down. “I’m a counselor trained in mediation. My job is to help people work through their problems to find a solution that makes everyone happy. And that’s what I’d like to do with you today.

  “Before we begin, I’d like to go over some ground rules,” Jill continued. “First, this is a safe space—no name-calling, no threats, no yelling. Second, if anyone needs a break, we can take a time-out. Third, everything that happens in this room is confidential. You cannot talk about it with anyone else. Understand?”

  Shawn and Angie nodded.

  “Good. Now, Principal Wagner told me that you two used to be good friends. Angie, how did you and Shawn become friends?”

  Angie looked surprised. “Um, we’re both cheerleaders,” she said. “Shawn was cool. We got along really well. Uh, we had a lot of fun together.”

  Jill nodded. “Good. Shawn, do you agree with that?”

  “Yeah. And, uh, Angie and I had a lot in common. When my dad started dating last year, she’d been through it with her mom. She understood exactly how I felt. And I had fun hanging out with her.” Shawn looked down as she remembered how close she and Angie had been.

  “But something happened to change all of that. Can you tell me about it?”

  After a pause, Shawn spoke. “I started thinking that maybe Angie and I didn’t have so much in common. One time, she stole gum from a store. That made me nervous. And she was always mean to my other friends. Then...”

  “Go on,” Jill encouraged.

  “I saw Angie do something really harsh to another girl on the cheerleading squad,” Shawn finished. “And I just didn’t want to be friends with somebody who could do that. I didn’t want to fight with her. I just didn’t trust her anymore.”

  “Actually, the problem is more that Shawn became this
big snob,” Angie interrupted. “She started acting like she was too good for me. I was all, whatever.”

  “Okay, let’s remember, no name-calling,” Jill said gently. “It’s always sad when a friendship ends, isn’t it? Unfortunately, it’s a part of life that people change and start needing different things from their friends. Normally, though, the end of a friendship doesn’t lead to such trouble. I’d like to talk about that now. What happened?”

  “Angie just started hating me,” Shawn said quietly. “I never tried to hurt her.”

  “Angie? Can you tell us why you started doing all these things to Shawn?” Jill asked quietly.

  Angie shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  “Angie,” Jill said again. “You haven’t treated Shawn very well. You need to explain why you’ve behaved this way.”

  Angie didn’t say anything.

  I should have known this would be a waste of time, Shawn thought angrily. Angie will never own up to what she’s done.

  “Angie, Shawn could have died this weekend,” Jill continued. “I want to know why you would put someone who was your friend in such a dangerous situation. I want you to explain to us why you’ve treated Shawn so cruelly.”

  Still, Angie remained silent. Then Shawn heard her sniff. Ohmigosh, Shawn thought. I’ve never seen Angie cry before.

  Jill pushed a box of tissues over to Angie. “Angie, remember that you’re in a safe space here,” she said. “What are you thinking about?”

  “Shawn was my best friend,” Angie said quietly as she wiped the tears from her face. “And then she just—she didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I missed her a lot. And then I got really mad. She just dropped me. What kind of friend would do that?

  “It felt like when my dad left. One day, everything seemed fine. Then he was packing his suitcase and I kept asking him to take me with him. But he didn’t. He just left. And I never saw him again.” Angie put her head on the table and her shoulders started to shake with silent sobs.

  “Angie, I didn’t mean to just ditch you,” Shawn said. “I didn’t think I could be a very good friend. It seemed like we were too different.” As Angie continued to cry, Shawn felt a lump in her throat. “Angie, I miss my mom, too,” she said. “I miss her every day. I miss her so much that it hurts.” She blinked hard, trying to keep from crying.

  “You’re both very brave girls,” Jill spoke up. “Losing a parent is one of the most painful experiences you will ever endure. And the loss can stay with you forever. I think that one of the reasons you became such good friends so quickly was because you had both experienced losing a parent.”

  Shawn glanced up to see Angie looking at her—but this time, Angie wasn’t staring at her with a look of hatred. There was understanding in her dark brown eyes. She knows, Shawn thought to herself. She knows what it’s like to miss someone so much.

  “And losing a best friend can hurt terribly,” Jill continued. “But bullying Shawn won’t make you feel better, Angie. You don’t look like you feel better.”

  “I don’t,” Angie said. “I felt awful this weekend when I found out Shawn was missing.”

  “I’d like to write up a contract for you both to sign,” Jill said. “The contract will have certain rules for behavior to keep this from happening again. Is that okay?”

  After Shawn and Angie nodded, Jill left the room. Shawn cleared her throat. “Detective McElroy told me that if you hadn’t come forward, it would have taken them a lot longer to find me. I wanted to thank you for doing that.”

  “I’m really sorry, Shawn,” Angie said. “I never meant for it to go so far.”

  “I’m sorry, too,” Shawn replied. And she was sorry—sorry that Angie had been so hurt when Shawn had ended their friendship. As Shawn and Angie waited quietly for Jill to return with the contract, Shawn knew that she and Angie would never be friends again; too much had happened between them.

  But she also knew that they would no longer be enemies.

  When Shawn and her dad got home that afternoon, she told him she had something to show him. “I’ve been working on this painting for a little while,” Shawn said shyly. “It’s not finished yet...”

  Her father silently looked at the portrait Shawn had painted of her mom. “Baby, it’s beautiful,” he finally said. “What made you use all different shades of blue?”

  Shawn shrugged. “Blue is a sad color,” she said simply. “But it can also feel quiet and peaceful. I’ve been missing Mom a lot. And the blue matches my feelings.”

  “Shawn,” Mr. Jordan began, “we haven’t talked about Mom in a while. But you can talk to me whenever you want—you know that, right?”

  Shawn nodded and smiled sadly at her dad.

  “Maybe you’d like to talk to someone else, too,” Mr. Jordan said. “A counselor like Jill?”

  Shawn thought for a moment, then nodded again. “Going to counseling right after Mom died helped a lot. But now that I’m older...I guess I miss her in different ways.”

  “I do, too,” Mr. Jordan said heavily. “All the time.” He was silent for a moment, then said, “I’ll make an appointment for you to see someone next week.”

  Shawn reached up and hugged her dad.

  “What a hard time you’ve been having, baby girl,” Mr. Jordan said as he kissed the top of Shawn’s head. “My brave little girl...”

  “Everyone keeps saying that, but I don’t feel very brave, Dad. I’ve just been crying all the time.”

  “That’s okay, baby,” Mr. Jordan replied. “Sometimes, crying is the best way to get your feelings out. It’s going to get better. I promise it will.”

  Shawn looked into her father’s warm brown eyes and knew, in her heart, that he was right.

  Chapter 13

  Today is my bat mitzvah! Natasha thought as soon as she woke up on Saturday morning. She sat up in bed, feeling more excited than anxious as she thought of the day ahead of her—the solemn ceremony at the temple in the morning, the fabulous party her parents had planned for that night. This is going to be the most amazing day of my life!

  Natasha quickly showered and went down to the kitchen, where her parents were eating breakfast. At first, Natasha felt too nervous to eat, but realized how hungry she was after her first bite of cornflakes. After breakfast, Natasha returned to her room to put on her new outfit, a soft blue wool dress with long sleeves and embroidery at the hem. She looked at the shimmery lavender dress she would wear for the party that night and felt a shiver of excitement. I’m so glad Connor is coming tonight! I hope he asks me to dance!

  There was a soft knock at the door, and Mrs. Ross entered. “Oh, Natasha,” she said proudly. “You look lovely.”

  “Thanks, Mom,” Natasha replied shyly.

  “Before my bat mitzvah, my mother gave me this necklace,” Mrs. Ross said, placing her hand on the silver Star of David that she always wore. It had a tiny diamond on each point. “You are my jewel, Natasha, my precious daughter. Today, you will become a woman in the eyes of our faith. This necklace belongs to you now.”

  “Oh, Mom. It’s so beautiful,” Natasha breathed. “Thank you so much.”

  Mrs. Ross fastened the necklace around Natasha’s neck and gave her a hug. “Are you ready, sweetheart?” she asked. “It’s time to go.”

  A few minutes later, Natasha and her parents arrived at Temple Beth-El, a large brick building with tall, narrow windows and a domed roof. Rabbi Perlman met them in the foyer. “Welcome, welcome!” he exclaimed. “Natasha’s big day is finally here. Come with me—I’ll get you settled while we wait for the rest of the congregants to arrive.”

  In a small anteroom outside the sanctuary (the main room of the synagogue), Mr. Ross squeezed Natasha’s hand gently. “Princess, you’re going to be great!”

  “Thanks, Dad,” Natasha said, starting to feel more nervous. Relax, she told herself as she took a deep breath. You’ve been planning for this for years! It’ll be okay.

  “Natasha, honey, you know exactly what to do,” Mr
s. Ross whispered in her ear. “I was anxious before my bat mitzvah, too. But it will be over before you know it!”

  Natasha smiled at her mother, then pictured her friends sitting together on one of the dark wooden benches in the sanctuary.

  Suddenly, it was time for the service to begin. Natasha sat with her parents at the bimah, the front stage area of the sanctuary. Behind her, Rabbi Perlman led the congregation in prayer. Then he removed the Torah scrolls from the ark, the special cupboard in which they were kept.

  Then Rabbi Perlman gestured for Natasha to join him at the wooden pedestal on which he had carefully placed the Torah scrolls.

  This is it, Natasha thought as she took a deep breath. She began singing from the Torah in Hebrew. All of her practicing paid off—the words came naturally to her, and as Natasha grew more confident, her voice rang out clearly and sweetly through the temple.

  There was silence in the sanctuary when Natasha finished. She looked at everyone seated in the sanctuary and spotted the Chef Girls smiling at her. She smiled back as she began to speak.

  “My portion of the Torah relates to service. Serving others is very important in the Jewish religion, and I learned how important it is almost by accident. I love to cook, and my friends and I have a cooking business. But from the very beginning of our business, helping others has been one of the most important things we do. We’ve helped out with a charity fund-raiser for people suffering from hunger. We’ve given food to a family who just had a baby, and to a family that suffered through a fire in their apartment.” Natasha paused and looked around the sanctuary. “Food is such a basic thing for most of us. It’s easy to forget that people in our community, our neighbors, sometimes need help. In happy times and in sad times, it’s important to be there for everyone in the community.”

  Before she knew it, the hard part was over—and she had enjoyed it!

  The rest of the ceremony passed by quickly. Natasha beamed as her parents spoke to the congregation about how proud they were of her. Then Mr. and Mrs. Ross recited a blessing, and suddenly Natasha realized, It’s over—my bat mitzvah is over! I didn’t mess up! She had never felt so happy—or relieved—in her entire life.