Friends with Benefits
Page 48
“Was that how you thought it would be?” he asked, quietly.
I pulled in a deep breath through smiling lips and nuzzled his chest hair. “No, it was way better.”
He cocked a brow at me and widened his smile. “So, we’re repeating it?”
“Absolutely,” I assured him with a giggle. “Just give me a few hours to feel my ass again, and we can do all of it all over again.”
Ben laughed and pressed his lips to mine. After all the kink that had transpired between us, the softness of his kiss was weird and fantastic. It was also really hard to tell which I liked best. Luckily, I wouldn’t ever have to choose.
* * *
After that incredible night at the pool, things between Ben and I started to move faster.
Within a week, we were so comfortable around each other that clothes became optional. Deep conversations, as well as hot, wild sex, became the rule of the land. We talked all the time and fucked every chance we got—usually enjoying every flavor besides vanilla.
I wasn’t sure if it was due to my endless appetite for sex or my adventurous nature, but for some reason at the three-week mark, right after my mother’s graduation and big move to France, Ben invited me to move into his bedroom with him. Obviously, I said yes. To me, it was ludicrous that I still had my own room when I spent practically every night naked in Ben’s bed.
A month after that, I realized that I was centering every aspect of my life around Benjamin Walker. He was the fixed dates on my schedules, the parameter I used for choosing the university I would attend Med School and focal point of every major decision I made. Which led me to the very important—and obvious—conclusion that I was falling madly in love with him.
Although my feelings and his grip on me were scary as shit, I knew I couldn’t help it. Ben was everything to me, and he made me happier than I had ever been in my life, something I knew wouldn’t change anytime soon. It was as simple as that and, for that reason, I centered him around everything.
However, around the three-month mark, my mother came over for a visit and things changed. Although Ben still made me the happiest version of me, our bubble was burst. The reality of the lie we lived started to weigh on me.
I loved Ben and wanted to be around him as more than a step-daughter and mistress. I longed for a normal relationship with romantic dinners at restaurants and PDA. I wanted to be able to call his office and announce myself as his girlfriend instead of his step-daughter, and above all, I wanted not to feel jealous or awkward towards my own mother.
My mom and I had always been best friends, and the fact that I couldn’t talk to her about the first man I had ever loved was eating at me. Every time we talked, and she asked me about why I sounded so happy, I had to lie and say it was just excitement over finally starting Med School. Then, as the semester went on and my excitement stopped making sense, I had to lie and create friends I didn’t have just to justify something I was dying to tell her but didn’t.
Each new lie made me feel more rotten and resentful. Although I knew this mess was no one’s fault but my own, I couldn’t help but feel bitter at Ben for not wanting to admit to our romance and at my mom for being fake married to the only man I had ever loved.
Many times, I thought about breaking up with Ben and walking away from this mess, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t give him up without relinquishing a part of me in the process. Therefore, I saw no other way than to force my growing bitterness aside and convince myself that things were fine the way they were.
It was another life, but for a while, it worked.
Chapter 26 – Ben
I looked up and was completely amazed. My reaction wasn’t only related to how amazing Jessica’s body looked as she bounced up and down on my cock—though that was a pretty mind-blowing sight as well. No, my amazement was a hundred percent related to how into her I still was.
It had been a little over five months since Jess and I had started fucking and almost as long since she moved into my bedroom. That was five months of me doing stupid romantic stuff just to please her, five months of calls and texts throughout the day for no particular reason, and, most importantly, five freaking months of me fucking just one woman. It was a crazy and almost impossible feat considering my record, but despite all of that, my body and heart still craved hers like water.
Usually, after two fucks I was done, but Jess was different. She was everything I wanted in a woman, and though I didn’t really like giving labels, I was pretty damn sure she was my very first girlfriend, and I was honestly okay with that. Actually, I was more than okay. I was happy—really, truly happy—which was a notion almost as bizarre to me as the girlfriend-thing itself.
Six months ago, when I received the news that I would have to marry to inherit my father’s shares in the company, I had thought my father crazy for even suggesting that I could ever be happy in a relationship. But apparently, that whole bullshit about parents knowing what’s best for their kids no matter how old they are isn’t actually bullshit. My crazy, romantic, asshole of a father knew his shit after all, and the biggest proof of that was the three little words that kept threatening to spill out of my mouth every time I saw my girl.
Keeping those words in was a task, especially in moments like now, when her sweet, wet pussy was sliding up and down my length, making me feel like the luckiest SOB alive, but I always held back. I knew that the moment I said them everything would change—I would change. Having her as just my girlfriend wouldn’t be enough, and since I had to remain married to her mother for another five months, I had to keep my mouth shut so things could remain as they were.
Pushing those frustrating words back down my throat, I focused on the delicious bounce of her tits and let her take me to what I considered to be literal fucking heaven.
“Oh, daddy,” she moaned making the moment even sweeter.
With an orgasm building inside of me, I grabbed Jess by the waist and flipped her onto her back. Now on top, I brought one of her knees up and pushed even deeper inside of her. The smile that always curled on her lips when my cock filled her to the brim appeared and I almost lost my shit.
I brought my mouth to hers and kissed her with the same passion as my cock pounded in and out of her wet pussy. Her moans became wilder with her approaching orgasm, and the sound fueled my own ecstasy like oxygen does to fire. With a growing need for more, I broke out kiss and straightened my body to a kneeling position over the bed. Gravity worked with me, pushing my cock even deeper into Jessica and that finally did it.
She grabbed at the sheets beneath her, closed her eyes and roared with the power of her orgasm. The wetness of her release made my cock slide even easier, and with two more pumps, I slipped over the edge and followed my baby girl to pure and undiluted pleasure.
After filling her with my load, I lay down beside her and brought Jessica to my chest. Cuddling was another weird development I was surprisingly addicted to.
“Did you like your early Christmas present?” she asked in a sleepy voice while toying with my chest chair.
I looked at the foot of the bed where her discarded elf hat and stockings were and let out a few lazy chuckles. “I loved it. Nice to know that Santa finally answered the letter I sent him in ninth grade.”
Jess propped herself on her elbow and looked down at me with a cocked brow. “I don’t know which part is confusing me more, the fact that you sent a letter to Santa in ninth grade or what a two-hour sex marathon was doing in your letter.”
Another chuckle bubbled up from my mouth as I gave her a quick peck on the lips. “Well, allow me to clarify it for you. Candice Ulrich—a smoking hot senior—was working as an elf at the mall and my fourteen-year-old self thought that Santa might put in a good word if I sent him a letter asking for a sexy elf.”
For a few seconds, Jess was completely silent. Considering her growing jealousy over the past few months, I worried that I might have struck a nerve and ruined the last few minutes we would have to be us before Pam arrived
home for a surprise holiday visit and ruined our perfectly happy bubble. To my surprise, however, she cocked a playful brow at me and sat down with her arms crossed in a way that made her tits look illegal.
“I hope you’re not too disappointed to have me as your slutty elf instead of Candice Ulrich.”
Although I tried not to, I couldn’t help but laugh as I pulled her back down over me. “Candice is pushing fifty by now, so no. Not at all disappointed.”
Faking outrage, Jessica pushed against my chest. “Is that the only reason, Benjamin? My age?”
I looked up as if pondering my answer for a moment. Her eyes narrowed, but she laughed when I finally shook my head. “An incentive for sure, but no. You’re the only slutty elf I’ve ever truly wanted.”
“Good answer,” she assured with a kiss. Once our lips parted again, she propped herself over my chest and, staring straight into my eyes, said, “Want to continue the sluttiness in the shower?”
Pam was to be home in less than an hour, and since our showers never lasted less than that, the idea was incredibly risky. Still, I couldn’t help but smile at the invitation.
“I’d love to.”
Her smile doubled as she gave me another peck on the lips and jumped off the bed. “Great, maybe after two orgasms, I’ll convince you to ditch your office party tonight and accompany me to Mallory’s party. The whole class is going, but I’m not very good with people—or parties, to be honest—and having my man there will make it so much better.”
My lips fell into a flat line at her words. The shower was risky, but doable. Ditching the party—and Pam—and going to a party with Jessica, was tempting but impossible. I hated to burst Jess’s bubble and risk the few precious minutes we had left, but there was no way I could fulfill Jessica’s request and maintain my marriage intact—a key element to keeping my whole life intact as well.
With her jealousy out of control the way it was, I knew that the best way to salvage some of the night was to hold her in my arms as I delivered the bad news. Since she was already at the door leading into the closet, I jumped off the bed and went after her. When I arrived there, she was standing in the middle of the room staring unblinkingly at the empty space where her clothes usually hung.
Dread cold as ice ran down my spine at the sight. I opened my mouth to explain, but before a word came out she asked, “Where’s all my shit?”
The explanation that had been at the tip of my tongue slipped away when she turned her angry eyes at me. I took a deep breath and tried to prepare myself for the unpleasant conversation that was about to happen.
“Pam is coming over to surprise you for the holidays,” I started. My words caused a layer of sadness to mix with the anger on her face, but I didn’t let that stop me and kept going. “She’s arriving today—in about an hour, to be exact—and will stay for a whole week. We’ve gotten lucky during her last visits, but they were all short stays. I’m sure she’ll notice you sneaking in and out of my room after a whole week here.”
She nodded and, for a moment, I thought she would surprise me by being reasonable. She didn’t.
With her anger growing stronger in her eyes, she reached for one of my shirts and covered herself as she barked, “So you kicked me out of my own room without consulting me?”
Annoyance bubbled up inside of me over being denied an unobstructed view of my girlfriend’s body, but I didn’t say anything knowing it would only make this argument worse. Instead, I tried to keep my voice calm and conciliatory as I spoke.
“I’m not kicking you out, baby,” I said honestly and took a step closer to her. “This is still your room and, as far as I’m concerned, it’ll always be your room. We just need to keep up appearances while your mom is here. As soon as she’s gone, I’ll bring back your things myself. I promise.”
Her green eyes filled with unshed tears, but she kept them firmly focused on me as I continued to walk in her direction. I could tell that the wheels in her head were turning, and I just hoped that they were turning in my favor.
With my heart pounding in my chest, I took another step in her direction. When she didn’t try to pull away, I felt encouraged to touch her. However, as my hand reached the curve of her hip, Jessica shook her head and took a step back.
“No,” she whispered and looked down for a very long second. Unsure if she was saying no to my touch or to me in general, I inhaled a deep and hurtful breath as I pulled my hand away.
When she looked back up at me, there were tears in her eyes. “I don’t want to keep up appearances anymore. I don’t want to lie to my mother the way I am or hide this mammoth of a secret from my best friend. It’s killing me, Ben.
“She’s my mother, the woman who worked herself to the bone so I would have a good life, and the first thing that popped into my head when you mentioned her visit was, ‘Shit!’ That’s not okay. It’s not okay for me to resent her because she belongs to you and I don’t. It’s not okay for me to hate her presence just because it means I can’t touch you. It’s not okay for me to have to switch rooms and erase the happiness in my life because you made a fucking mess out of our lives.”
As she stopped for breath, panic gripped like vice in my throat making it hard for me to breathe. I loved Jessica, there was no doubt about that. However, my career, my position within my company, my inheritance, my everything was on the line, and for that reason, I dreaded the ultimatum I could feel brewing in her mouth.
Closing my eyes, I made myself more open and vulnerable than I had ever been in front of someone else, and begged, “Please, Jess. Don’t say what you’re about to say. Don’t make me choose because I can’t. I can’t choose between twenty years of work and the only woman I’ve ever . . .” I closed my mouth quickly and cleared my throat before that dangerous little word slipped out and made this whole thing messier than it already was.
After a deep breath, I opened my eyes and continued, “You’re my first girlfriend, and I like that. I like us and you for way more than your pussy. That has never happened before, so please, don’t make me choose because either way, I’ll lose. It’s just five months, and I’ll be yours. Just yours.”
Jessica stared at me, and I could see the conflict in those gorgeous green eyes. They gave me hope that she would see reason and wait. But then, she clasped her arms around my face and brought her lips to mine. She kissed me, and though her lips still felt comfortable and familiar, there was something not quite right about them. When she pulled away from me, I finally understood what that something was. It was goodbye.
“I don’t just like you,” she started in a voice that was broken but somehow still firm. “I love you. I love you with all my heart. But, I love myself and my mother too. And, I’m as tired of sharing you as I am of lying to her. So, you’ll have to choose. Either you move my stuff back here, and we tell my mom everything, or we’re done.”
Maybe it was because of my lack of experience in the dating department, but I had no idea how we went from being in bed and perfectly happy to ending things in the span of five minutes. However, that appeared to be the case, and I had no fucking clue of what to do or how to stop the train wreck happening in front of my eyes.
“Don’t, baby,” I begged. “We can go away together over New Years. We’ll walk around in public, and I’ll tell everyone you’re my girlfriend. Just don’t make me choose. I’ll lose everything. Just wait a bit longer.”
Jessica’s chest deflated with the power of her exhale, and a couple of tears fell from her eyes at my words. She stared at me for seconds that seemed to last a lifetime, and her beautiful eyes held an intensity that filled the air around us, making it as heavy as this moment.
“No, you wouldn’t lose everything,” she said in a voice that was pure sadness. “You’d still have your shares, the billions you worked for, and me. But maybe a freaking chair, an inheritance you don’t need and a title you’d eventually get on your own mean more to you than actually being happy. If that’s the case, I’m really sorry for you,
Ben.”
With that simplistic and hurtful assessment, Jessica turned around and walked way.
I stood there, like a moron, staring at her as she walked out of the closet and towards the bedroom door. For some reason, the world seemed to move in slow motion making each step she took feel like an eternity. That infinity of time still wasn’t enough to give me any light of what to do.
Every inch of my heart wanted stop Jessica and beg for her forgiveness. I wanted to drop on my knees and promise her whatever she wanted me to promise just so that she would remain mine. I wanted to tell her that I loved her and couldn’t live without her because I knew the first statement to be the most absolute truth and the pain in my chest at her absence made me afraid to test the second.
However, my head—my stupid, rational, greedy head—held me back. It told me that five months of personal happiness couldn’t compare to twenty years of professional success, and for a second, just one fucking second, my heart wavered, and she walked out the door.
For the first time ever, I felt lonely in my own bedroom, and that strange feeling finally quieted my brain and jolted me into action. I knew that going after Jessica with Pam bound to arrive at any moment was highly imprudent, but I no longer cared. With my heart beating out of my chest, I put on a pair of sweatpants and ran after her, hoping that I wasn’t too late.