Friends with Benefits

by Amy Brent

  I went to the kitchen and poured myself a huge glass of water and gulped it down. Then I took another one and sipped it while I waited for things to kick in. I sat on the couch in my living room and turned on the TV and found that every daytime show on at that hour had something to do with babies; either feeding them, changing them, or even giving birth to them. I caught the ass end of a C-section on one channel and turned off the TV. I lay back on the couch and closed my eyes not wanting to think about anything, especially how the baby would come out if it was inside me.

  I thought maybe a nap would do the trick and I could wake up and take the tests with no problem. But I couldn’t sleep. Instead, I kept thinking about Whitt and how disappointed he’d be. Would he think I’d done it on purpose? That I was somehow trying to trap him? I crossed my arms over my stomach and rolled over onto my side.

  I couldn’t even imagine what a child of ours might be like, and the idea seemed so unimaginable that I was sure if I was pregnant then I’d be in denial for the entire nine-month stretch.

  I sat up and went back to the kitchen to pour another glass when the urge hit me, so I raced down to the bathroom and to my relief, filled the cup.

  I did what I needed to the tests and left them alone while I paced the room and got up the courage to look at them. This was the moment of truth.

  I stepped forward and read the indicators, all of which were reading positive. There was no doubt. I was going to have Whitt’s baby.

  I sank to the floor and wept and stayed there for a good hour just thinking about how to tell him, if I should tell him, and what Lila would think.

  Our secret would be exposed in a matter of time unless I came up with a story and lied to Whitt. I couldn’t do that though; I couldn’t let him think I’d been with another or push him out of a chance with his child if he wanted it. What if he wanted me to get rid of it to protect Lila?

  I picked myself up off the floor and washed my face. Then, I looked in the mirror and placed my hand on my lower abdomen. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, and in my mind, a perfect image of my child illustrated, and he had Whitt’s handsome face and my bright blue eyes. But then what if it was a girl? I imagined her too, clearly and without a doubt, which was strange because an hour earlier I couldn’t even fathom the thought of a baby.

  It showed me how the power of knowledge could change things and I decided there was no way I could keep this from Whitt. I’d have to tell him at the gala.

  Chapter 21

  Whitt

  Gemma showed up at our house around four, and she and Lila had spent hours upstairs getting dressed up for the gala. I was just about to button my shirt when my daughter stormed into my bedroom.

  “Daddy, can you get this zipper up?” Lila was panicked as she ran in, her hair perfectly arranged in an up-do that wrapped her head like a crown and flawless makeup.

  Gemma was behind her carrying their shoes. “I couldn’t get it. I don’t understand, you had the dress fitted, and it was just perfect a week ago.”

  “I’m a cow!” Lila frowned. I spun her around and tugged up the delicate zipper which finally went up.

  Lila exhaled. “That’ll do. At least I can breathe.” I could tell that she was really bothered. She had never been heavy a day in her life, though she had always carried a bit more weight than Gemma, but her natural curves were beautiful, and if she had gained anything, she hit it well.

  “You look beautiful, darling.” I kissed Lila’s cheek and turned to Gemma. “You both do.” She looked away about the time Dax rang the front doorbell. Gemma went down to greet him as the housekeeper let him in and I went after them wanting to see his reaction and if he was worthy.

  “Daddy?” Lila came running after me, and I stopped and turned to see what she wanted. She hesitated.

  “What is it, sweetheart?” I wondered if she and Daniel were having problems, but she shook her head and smiled.

  “Nothing, Daddy. I just hope we can spend some time talking later.” I gave her a kiss on the cheek and took her arm, and we went down to join our best friends.

  “You look absolutely beautiful, Gemma,” said Dax, as he crossed the room and took her hand. “Wow, I’ll win the hottest date award for sure.”

  I had to agree. Gemma was absolutely glowing. Her hair had been swept up into a chignon, and her face was so flush that the natural stain of her cheeks shone brighter and the pale dusting of freckles was visible. Her eyes were wide and alert, and she had a nervous smile for Dax. I wanted to rush in and push him aside and take her hand, and in my mind, I could hear her saying she wished she were my date.

  “I’ll just be a moment.” I stepped back into my room and finished buttoning my shirt and fixed my tie, then I grabbed my coat and pulled it on, straightening the cuffs. I was stalling. I didn’t want to go back down and see her with him. I didn’t want to go to the gala and pretend that I was okay with it all. She was mine, and I couldn’t help but want her.

  “Daddy?” Lila’s voice called from the stairs.

  “I’ll be right down.” I took a deep breath and decided it was time to man up, and I stuck out my chest and turned and went downstairs. Lila was waiting, and she took my hand and locked her arm around mine.

  “Hey, Dax, look; I’ve got the most-handsome date,” she said proudly.

  “I don’t think Gemma did too bad for herself.” The two chuckled as we approached the limo, and Dax stepped aside to the let the ladies climb in first. I was next, and I deliberately positioned myself across from Gemma so I could take in the view.

  We made small talk all the way there, and I could tell that something wasn’t right with Gemma. Lila was extra quiet as well, but I had a feeling it was for a different reason.

  I hoped she’d be settling in at home soon and perhaps finding a career, but that was wishful thinking. I had to accept that she was growing up and not my little girl anymore. Seeing her with Gemma showed me how much they’d both changed over the years. The two used to cover their mouths and whisper and give each other sideward glances and roll their eyes when I’d talk, but now they were poised with grace and maturity.

  When it was time to get out of the car, Gemma stumbled, and Dax was there with a helping hand and a strong arm to hold her up. “I’m so sorry. I caught my dress.”

  “Don’t apologize for that. I couldn’t walk in those heels.” Dax belted a laugh and Gemma smiled, a bit of blush staining her already rosy cheeks.

  Inside the event, the room was decorated in white and gold and there was a canopy of white branches over the dance floor.

  Lila’s jaw dropped. “It’s so gorgeous.” She placed her hand on Dax’s arm and leaned in. “I want the name of the decorator. This is what I want for my wedding.”

  “Wedding?” My tone was a bit sharper than I had intended and Lila turned her head and gave me a tired look.

  “One day, Daddy, I will be married, and it might not be long off.” She put her chin down, and I took it between my fingers and lifted her to meet my eyes.

  “I’m aware. Let’s not argue about it tonight.” I gave her my best charming smile and offered my hand. “I’d like to dance with my baby girl.” As soon as the words left my lips, I glanced to Gemma who blushed and looked away. I had a feeling the blush on her cheeks wasn’t the only thing that had heated.

  My cock twitched remembering how I’d called her that. Lila took my hand and pulled me onto the dance floor before it could get any weirder.

  I looked up and caught Dax and Gemma, swaying with one another and his hand resting on her ass really put me in a bad mood.

  Dax had sworn to me that they hadn’t messed around, but I didn’t trust him very much. He knew I didn’t approve of him and her. But then, as Gemma looked at me, I knew she still only had eyes for me.

  The music stopped, and she stepped away to go to the powder room, and my eyes followed her all the way while Lila dragged me off to the opposite side of the room and found our table. Dax stood talking to one of the other gu
ests. And I flagged down a waiter who brought a selection of drinks. I grabbed one and turned it up, and Lila waved the man away.

  “You don’t have to pass on the wine. I’m not going to ground you for drinking.”

  “I just don’t feel like drinking,” she snapped.

  “Hard to believe my little girl, who came in stinking drunk on her sixteenth birthday, doesn’t want to throw a couple back with her old man.” I was teasing, but she gave a half-hearted smile and glanced down to her shoes.

  I looked up to see Gemma approaching. “Lila, may I borrow your father? He owes me a dance.”

  Lila sighed with relief. “Of course. Have fun you two. I’m going to step away and call Daniel.” She hurried off before I could say anything disapproving and Gemma pulled me out to the dancefloor and put her arms around my waist.

  “Did you tell Dax where you were going?” I glanced off to my friend who looked up and gave me a sly smile. Then he held up two fingers and pointed them to his eyes and then to mine. Yeah, I was watching you too, buddy. I looked down, and Gemma was tearing up.

  “I have something to tell you, Whitt.” She tucked her chin and rested her forehead on my chest.

  “Gemma, it’s okay.” I was suddenly on alert, and my blood began to boil. Something had happened. Dax had done something inappropriate. “Did something happen? Is it Dax?”

  “No,” she looked up and wiped a tear before it could make an appearance and trail down her cheek. “It’s so much worse. You’re going to hate me.”

  I stiffened and turned my head. I looked to the far side of the room and stopped dancing. “I don’t want to know, Gemma. If you’re fucking him, you can keep it to yourself.” I glared down into her eyes as she shook her head. “It’s not my business.” I was ready to tear the place apart, to punch Dax in his pretty-boy face.

  “What? No, Whitt. I haven’t—there’s nothing between him and me. I’m going to—I’m pregnant!” She glared at the floor as I stepped back.

  “That’s not funny, Gemma. It’s not something you say to keep me.” I thought about the way she’d been sick, on her knees and heaving into the toilet. Morning sickness.

  “I wouldn’t do that to you or to Lila. I love you both too much.” She stepped forward, closing the distance and fighting tears. “I took tests.”

  “Maybe they are wrong?” I knew better. False positives were rare. It was false negatives that you had to be leery of.

  “I did three. Yesterday.” She was scared to death. I felt like such an asshole.

  I wanted to pull her close, but Lila was headed our way. “I need a minute.” I tore myself away and hauled ass to the balcony across the room, where another waiter smiled as I took two shots off his load.

  I threw them back as Dax came after me. “Whoa, man. I didn’t know you were such a party animal. Are you trying to keep up with Lila?” He’d known about my daughter’s infamous drinking episodes, but I wasn’t in the mood.

  “You’ll excuse me if I don’t want a walk down memory lane.” I closed my eyes seeing Gemma and Lila by the pool, their lives flashing before my eyes. What had I done?

  “That Gemma is smoking tonight, man. I wanted to get you alone, you know, to ask if it’s okay if I take things to the next level. I know you’re like practically a dad to her and—

  “Stay away from her, Dax. You and I both know you don’t want more than a piece of ass.”

  “If she’s down, then what does it matter? She might only want the same.” I was going to have to tell him before he said something that made me hurt him.

  “It matters because I lied to you, Dax. I slept with her; several times; at work. We didn’t want Lila to know.”

  “Or me, apparently. Guess it’s a good thing I didn’t fall for her or anything, right. But you didn’t even think of that, did you?” He raked his hand through his hair and wiped the sweat from his brow.

  “Are you in love with her?” I looked into my best friend’s eyes, and he shrugged.

  “No. Not even close. I just think she’s hot and fun and I wanted to nail her.”

  “I was afraid you already did.” I let out a long breath and said a silent thank you.

  “No. She’s been turning me down. You’d think she was an expert.”

  “Well, she has had a lot of experience with rejections.” I thought of all those years she’d saved herself for me.

  “Do you love her?” Dax narrowed his eyes. “And what about Lila?”

  “I do, and I have no idea. But that’s not the biggest problem, my friend.” I clapped a hand on his shoulder and stared at the floor. “She just told me that she’s pregnant.”

  “No fucking way. Gemma’s pregnant?” He looked across the room, and Gemma’s face turned red, and she wiped her eyes. “That explains her glowing look and those sweet tits. I knew they looked perkier than usual.”

  “Shut your fucking mouth, man. That’s the mother of my child.” I closed my eyes and thought about what I’d just said. Gemma was going to have my baby and Lila’s brother or sister. And I’d just left her there alone not minutes after telling me.

  I had to go to her.

  I hurried across the room to her, but she walked past me to get to Dax who was behind me. “Please, take me home.”

  Chapter 22

  Gemma

  I had turned my phone off after assuring Lila I was okay and just needed a bit of time to rest. I hoped she’d pass the news onto her father, who had called me a million times by Sunday night. I couldn’t talk to him. I had seen his eyes and heard his reaction, and both spoke volumes. To walk away from me at a time like that, when I was so scared and vulnerable, it was worse than him leaving me before when he’d wanted our relationship to be over.

  Well, he wouldn’t have to worry about me. I would raise my baby alone and not ask him for a thing. I rolled over in bed and slapped my alarm clock to turn it off. I had hit the snooze button thirty minutes earlier and twice since, but now it was time to get up and figure out what to do about work.

  I had to go in. I needed my job and a way to support my baby, but then again, what would Whitt do? Fire me? I rolled to my back and suddenly felt queasy.

  After some time in the bathroom, I came out, found my phone, and dialed his. I hated to hear his voice, but I knew I had responsibilities and calling in was the least I could do.

  “Gemma!” Whitt’s voice was strained, and I figured he was having his early morning workout with Dax.

  “I’m sick. I’m not coming in.” I hung up and threw my phone down and then crawled back into bed. I put my hand on my tummy and patted even though I knew the tiny life form inside was nothing more than the size of a grain of rice. But it was my little peanut, and it was us against the world.

  After sleeping half of the morning away, I woke up to a pounding on my front door and Whitt’s voice. “Gemma! Gemma open the door.” I tried to ignore him at first, but I knew I’d eventually have to face him.

  I opened the door and stood in the way. “What?”

  “What? That’s all you have to say to me? I’ve been calling every fucking hour, and you say what?”

  “Yeah, what else do you want me to say? I told you I was pregnant and you walked away from me like I’d just ruined your life. I’m scared to fucking death here. I didn’t want this!” I put my head down and cried, but he pulled me into his arms. I struggled against him, but he was stronger, and he held me close as he walked in and shut the door.

  “Let go of me,” I said, stumbling backward.

  “Look, Gemma. It’ll be all right. I’ll give you the money to take care of it, and I’ll even be there with you. Have you said anything to Lila?”

  His words had me stone still. Take care of it? “Are you suggesting that I arrange to have it aborted?”

  “I just assumed you’d want that.” My hand stung as I slapped his cheek.

  “I’d never want that! You can go to hell, but I’m keeping my baby!” I cowered back as his eyes hardened. And he came forward and
grabbed my arms. “Let me go!”

  “Stop fighting me, Gemma. I don’t care what decision you make, keep it or don’t, but don’t you dare ever strike me again. I’d never hit you, but I demand respect. Do you understand?”

  I nodded, and he shook his head. “Ahem?”

  “Yes, sir.” He pulled me into his arms and held me, and it felt so wonderful to be there again even if it was only for a little while.

  “I don’t want us to fight, Gemma. I didn’t mean to offend you, either, but you seem devastated, and I want you to know I’ll do whatever you want. This is your call.” He stroked my hair and then rubbed his hands down my arms and planted a kiss on my lips. “I’m sorry if I scared you. You’ve had me so worked up.”

  I met his eyes. “We need to tell Lila.”

  “I’ll handle when to tell her. She doesn’t need to know right away.”

  “That’s bullshit. I can’t even talk to her about this, and I need my friend. Besides, don’t you think it’s time you stopped harboring all of the secrets from your daughter?” It angered me that he’d rather lie to her longer than to tell her the truth. “You’re not doing her any favors, you know. I’m telling her, and that’s final.”

  He pulled me close, and his nostrils flared. “I’ll tell her. You’re not going to fight me on this, Gemma. Not where my daughter is concerned.” He turned and walked me to the couch and sat next to me.