Calmer Secrets: Calmer Girls 2 (Calmer Girls Series)

by Jennifer Kelland Perry

  She wept for Henry and Veronica and for all of this misery to come to an end. She wept for her mother, sleeping in her bed down the hall. What crushing guilt she must be suffering! What torture she must have undergone, before a dose of sleeping medication mercifully freed her from such a terrible state of consciousness, at least for a few hours. She wondered what sort of questions the Child Protection people had asked her and Cash this morning. As preventable in hindsight as it may have been, Samantha knew nothing, not police intervention or the significance of an arrest, could punish Darlene more than the knowledge of her own culpability in her grandson’s plight.

  She wept because of her own guilt, for her absence this morning when Henry woke up with the house to himself and to the mortal danger that awaited him. A direct consequence of Darlene's carelessness, yes, but they were all aware of her ongoing dependence on alcohol and her need for pain relief last evening. Samantha hadn’t known her mother’s Tylenol pills contained codeine. Had Cash known? Why hadn't anyone, including herself, thought of the possible ramifications?

  And she cried anew for the fatherless little boy. Ben had delivered a bombshell of new information to her yesterday that would soon send shock waves through their world, as soon as Samantha found the appropriate moment to reveal it. She thought of Ben's eyes and his attitude of compassion and understanding when she apologized to him.

  As tired as she felt, she stumbled out of bed and padded out to the closet in her own room. She stretched up on her tiptoes to the closet shelf, rummaging past her old portfolio filled with her art and photographs from high school, grasping the cardboard box next to it.

  She had crammed the box full of old mementos over the years. Bringing it to the bed, she opened its flaps, dug down and pulled out what she wanted. She thought she’d outgrown any possible need for a stuffed animal. Her pink and white unicorn, smelling musty and showing signs of wear; Ben had won the toy for her at the St. John’s Regatta when she was sixteen. She left the box there, tramped back to the spare bedroom and squirmed under the covers. Careful to leave Lily undisturbed, she hugged the small unicorn to her breast, fondling the frayed pink ribbon around its neck until she fell asleep.

  ***

  She called Kalen early the next morning, as soon as she fixed a pot of coffee and poured herself a mug. “I'm going to get straight to the point of this call,” she said, taking a deep breath.

  “Is it Henry? Has he—”

  “This doesn’t concern Henry,” she interrupted. “We haven't heard anything new since last night. This is about you and me.”

  “Hmm. I see. Do I want to hear this?”

  She gritted her teeth. “I think we should part ways, and go back to being friends. If our friendship is over, that would be sad, but I’m not the right girlfriend for you, Kalen.”

  After a short but heavy silence, he responded. “What did I do this time?”

  Samantha caught the hint of irritated sarcasm. “My feelings have changed about us, and I need to sort out where I'm going from here.”

  “Then it's more than just a break?”

  “Yes.”

  “Sam, I’m not sure yet if being friends is possible. Give me time to process this.”

  After another painful silence, she mumbled a terse goodbye and hung up. She hadn’t wanted to hurt him but, to be frank, she’d had her fill of the “Kalen O’Dea Rollercoaster.” The time had come for her to step off and get her bearings.

  Biting the inside of her cheek and leaning against the counter, she straightened up in a hurry when Darlene entered. Her mother made a beeline for the coffee pot and filled her favourite mug, the one with I Love Grandma emblazoned on the side of it in bright pink lettering. She sat down at the table, her face ashen and weighted with worry.

  To Samantha, it was as if she’d aged two decades overnight. She reminded her of Nana.

  “That wasn't Ronnie, was it?”

  “No. But you might as well know. Kalen and I broke up.”

  “Really? Why? I’d hoped you two were getting along.”

  “I’ve learned you can like someone a lot, even though you may be incompatible as a couple. It bums me out, but I guess it happens. I believe it's for the best.” Speaking of what was best, Samantha couldn’t hold it in any longer. “When are you going to clean up your act, Momma? Don’t you think it’s, like, way overdue?”

  Darlene nodded but wouldn’t meet her daughter’s gaze. “I’ve already told Cash I’m going to stay sober from now on. I told Jack, too.”

  “Long before this terrible thing happened, you should have tried to get off the booze. I mean, you’re needed around here, by Cash, by Ronnie, and by Henry. By all of us! You’d think you’d want to get better! To be better.”

  Darlene nodded, saying nothing. Cash walked into the kitchen. “Could one of you call to see how Henry is?” she asked, her voice quivering.

  Samantha grabbed up the receiver again and dialed Gina's number first, in case Veronica had changed her mind and was still there from the night before. But Mandy told her Veronica had stayed at the hospital all night.

  She opened the phone book and found the Janeway number. They put her through to the ICU and she asked for Henry's mother.

  “Hello?”

  “It's me. How's Henry?”

  “They're going to try and bring him out of the coma soon, I think,” Veronica said, her voice sounding feeble and far away. “And then we’ll know his true condition.” She paused, letting out a shaky breath. “So, Sam? If you haven’t already, now’s the time to start praying.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Samantha assured Veronica she had been and would continue to pray for her nephew, adding she would come to the hospital as soon as she got ready. After a hot shower and a quick piece of toast, she felt more like herself again. As overwrought as her mother was, she dressed and insisted on going to the hospital as well. After a heated exchange with Cash and Samantha, Darlene won out. The three of them got into the jeep and drove to the Janeway.

  Taking the elevator to the third floor again and scurrying down the hall to the ICU family room, it surprised Samantha to see Ben there, and it equally surprised her to see him talking to Sebastian.

  Ben's countenance lit up when she came into view. Striding over to her, he gave her a warm smile.

  “Fancy seeing you again so soon,” she said, returning his unspoken greeting.

  “Any news, Sebastian?” Darlene asked, her eyes clouded with apprehension, her forehead lined with deep furrows.

  “I only got here a few minutes ago,” he replied, “but Veronica told me on the phone they are considering waking him from the coma. The emergency medicine specialist wants to run a couple more tests first, though, so it could be a while.”

  “I thought you were in Halifax,” Samantha said to him.

  “Never made it because of the bloody weather. First, my flight got delayed last night. We sat on the tarmac for six hours. Then, when we got going and were almost there, we got rerouted back. Couldn’t land because of an ice storm and high winds in Nova Scotia.”

  An attractive young nurse, dressed in cotton scrubs sporting Looney Tunes characters, came forward from inside the unit. As she approached, the soles of her white hospital shoes squeaked on the polished tile. “You are Henry's family?”

  Cash affirmed they were.

  “I'll let his mother know you're here,” she said. “I think she had a rough night, the poor thing. We gave her a comfortable recliner so she could rest beside her son, but she didn’t get much sleep, according to the night staff.”

  After Samantha went inside to see Henry with Veronica's okay, she asked her if she would allow Darlene to see him.

  But Veronica remained firm to her stance from yesterday. “The day I let that drunken pill-popper near my son will be the day he is completely recovered from her neglect and she is completely recovered from her alcoholism. And not a single minute sooner. Tell her to put that in her glass and drink it.”

  Darl
ene, though appearing disappointed to be excluded again, wasn’t easily discouraged. “I'll stay right here, then. Surely she can't drive me out of the entire hospital.” She took up vigil with Cash in the family room, while Sebastian ventured inside next.

  Samantha felt encouraged to see Ben had waited while she’d gone to the ICU. “Good of you to be here.”

  “I want to be. Figured I could lend some moral support.”

  Five minutes later Sebastian emerged from the ICU, shaking his head. “She asked me to leave. I thought she might’ve reconsidered our breakup, but I guess I was wrong. Anyway, I have to report to work.” He told them all he’d be praying for Henry, and left.

  Samantha doubted if she’d ever see him again.

  “I haven’t eaten yet today,” Ben said to her. “Have you?”

  “I forced down a piece of toast. That was it.”

  “I think it's going to be a while before anything happens here,” he said. “Would you like to come with me for a late breakfast? Say, to the bagel joint on Duckworth? I'll bring you back straightaway afterwards.”

  Samantha hesitated for a moment. “That should be alright, yeah.” She told her mother where they were going, disregarding Cash's quizzical expression as they took their leave.

  Ben opened and closed the car door for her before he got in himself. She'd forgotten how cherished this gentlemanly act of his used to make her feel, and it still had the same effect.

  “Is this your car?” she asked, leaning into the comfortable plush upholstery of the late model sedan as they exited the hospital parking lot.

  “I wish! It's a rental. No T-birds or convertibles in my future for a long while yet. Writing off my old man's pride and joy drove my insurance premiums sky high, even after all these years.”

  “Well, that stinks,” she said. “Are you suffering any impairment from the crash? Like, leftover injuries?”

  “Sometimes my back hurts,” he admitted. “And my thigh bone where it got fractured. I can’t play hockey like I used to at all. Had no choice but to retire my dream of becoming the next Gretzky.”

  “That stinks to high heaven!” Samantha shared a chuckle with him. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh. I know how much you loved playing hockey.”

  With one hand holding the steering wheel, Ben lifted the dark tumble of hair on his forehead, exposing the thin but jagged scar he’d sustained from the collision.

  Samantha winced. “Ouch! That’s why you wear your hair that way.”

  “I have to watch out for infections and take antibiotics, as well, since I don’t have a spleen anymore. It could've been much worse, as you know. For both of us.”

  “Oh, I know. We could have ended up paralyzed, or even killed. I'm still too chicken to get my driver's licence, can you believe it?”

  “I get that. It took me quite a while to get up the nerve to drive again. And it took the old man longer to let me borrow his new wheels. He made sure I passed a driver safety course before I ever got the keys.” He laughed.

  “Well, there’s one positive that came out of it all. You’re a much better driver. You can take that as gospel from this Nervous Nellie.”

  “Hey, I can give you a few lessons this summer. Think Cash will let you learn on his jeep?”

  Samantha thought of her recent “crash course” driving lesson through the snowdrift in Kalen’s car. Getting behind the wheel and being forced to drive had quelled some of the intense anxiety she had harboured for so long. Still…

  “Thanks for the offer, but I think if or when I ever do learn, it will be with a certified instructor. No offense!” She grinned at him.

  “No offense taken. It’s great to see you smile again, Samantha. I'm practically pinching myself to be here talking with you. Feels like old times.”

  Despite everything, she liked the sound of that. During a much-needed breakfast of eggs over easy, wholegrain bagels and orange juice in the crowded eatery, she allowed herself to loosen up and relax for a bit, the first time in days. While chatting with Ben over coffee, she disclosed her recent breakup with Kalen. He didn't ask her why or anything, but after she admitted it was her idea and she was alright with it, she thought she could tell, by the way his aspect changed, he welcomed the news. Or could it be wishful thinking on her part?

  “Tell me to go to hell if you want,” he said, “but I never thought you two made a good match.”

  Samantha eyed him thoughtfully over the rim of her mug. Funny, her sister had made a similar observation about them. She’d come to realize they were probably right.

  “Oh damn, maybe I should’ve kept my mouth shut. What a stunned-arse thing to say! He’s the next best thing to a rock star around here these days. What if you end up back together with him?”

  She laughed and assured him she didn’t see that happening. “I think I should try staying single from now on. Seeing how I’ve had a pretty crappy track record where serious relationships are concerned.”

  He covered her hand on the table with his. “You might have had a better one if certain obstacles hadn't gotten in your way.”

  Blushing, she gulped the rest of her coffee and pushed her chair back. “We'll never know for sure, now, will we?” She thought of the full life waiting for him in Nova Scotia. Her chance with him had passed. It was far too late to dream anymore of such things.

  Ben threw some bills on the table and they left the café. “I suppose not. But who knows what the future has in store for you, Samantha? Sometimes, love has a funny way of working out, just when you least expect it.”

  ***

  “What time is it now?”

  “Ten minutes to five,” Cash said.

  “He should’ve woken up by this time,” Darlene said in a fearful voice. “Why isn't he waking up?”

  Samantha chewed on her thumbnail. “His little body has endured a lot, Momma. The doctor warned us it might take this long for him to come around.” She searched Ben’s face for reassurance.

  He squeezed her hand near her thigh where her mother and Cash couldn't see. “Try and think positive thoughts, everyone,” he said. “We should hear something real soon.”

  Darlene rose from her chair and grabbed her jacket. “But this waiting! Cash, I need another cigarette. I'll be back in a few minutes.” She hurried out of the family room.

  Their mother hadn't completely kicked her smoking habit since she’d tried to quit for the second time back in 1993. Whenever life got too much for her, she tended to relapse, and this was the most trying time yet. Samantha knew it was the first time in years Darlene had bought cigarettes again.

  Cash stood up. “Alright, guys, I’m taking a quick trip to the washroom and then I’m getting a cup of tea. Either of you want anything to drink?”

  They both declined his offer. When they were alone, Samantha said, “Ronnie must be going crazy in there.”

  “I know.” Ben put his arm around her, tucking her nearer, letting her lean her head against his shoulder.

  “I’m guessing no one ever told you about the day he was born.”

  “Not much. Why?”

  “He came early, you know. Three weeks before his due date.”

  Ben nodded. “I knew that. Your mom phoned my old man the next day.”

  “Ronnie was in first period algebra class when her water broke. Total bedlam took over for a spell, the way she tells it.”

  “You serious? Her algebra class turned into a biology lesson!”

  “The teacher, Mr. Collins, nearly had a stroke,” she said. “He would have driven her to the hospital himself, he told her afterwards, but the guidance counsellor, Miss Payne, took over when she saw how rattled he was. He might have driven them off the road! Anyway, she still hadn't started labour pains hours later, so they put her on an IV drip to induce her. And when they were delivering him, they discovered the umbilical cord had wrapped around his neck. It must have gotten wound around him during the birthing process.”

  “Yikes! What did they do then?”


  “It turned into a race against time to get it loosened and to get him breathing. Ronnie said it terrified her to see the serious expressions in the eyes of the doctor and the nurses. It was all she could see of them with their masks on. She kept screaming at them and one of the nurses tried to reassure her, but she could tell he was in trouble.”

  “I had no idea.”

  “When she finally heard the baby's cry, she said she knew for sure then she wanted to keep him.”

  “Did she have anyone in the delivery room with her?”

  “No. All along, Momma had planned to be her coach, but when the time came, she wimped out and told Ronnie she didn’t want to know anything until it was all over. She would have made things worse, Ronnie thinks, so she didn't hold it against her—”

  “Here she comes,” Ben said, cutting her off.

  Veronica stood in the doorway, her face ruddy and awash with tears. Her mouth formed an ugly square and her chin trembled.

  “Oh no.” Samantha ran to her. It couldn't be. And here came Momma, also crying as soon as she saw her daughter’s distress. Why couldn't they all wake up and discover the last couple of days were a dreadful, hideous nightmare?

  “What is it?” she asked Veronica. “Did something else happen?”

  Sobbing, Veronica shook her head. “He’s not regaining consciousness,” she said between sobs, “and the staff act so concerned, I wonder if he ever will.” She allowed Samantha to hold her while her tears fell unchecked, soaking her sister’s shoulder.

  “He will,” Samantha murmured, trying to reassure her. “We must be patient, that’s all. You’re so exhausted. What if we bring you home for a nap?”

  “I can’t sleep! Whenever I tried to close my eyes last night, I’d still see Henry lying there. And once, when I did manage to drop off, I dreamt he…he didn’t pull through.”

  “Don’t you dare go there, Ronnie.” Helplessness gripped Samantha. This sitting around on her butt drove her crazy. “Is there anything I can get you? Anything at all?”