Silvia's Rose

by Jerry S. Eicher

  “Are you proposing to be that man yourself?”

  Joseph smiled. “I have been that man—for Silvia. I don’t need to travel the road twice, even if such a thing were possible.”

  “But I don’t want roses from Isaiah…or anything like that.”

  “Have it your way,” Joseph said with a shrug of his shoulders. “People are starting to come in. We need to be ready for them.”

  Diana’s voice piped up in the distance. “Joseph! I found it.”

  “And here’s Diana with the water sprayer,” he added. “I have to see to my roses, Esther.”

  She watched him walk away and forced herself to move down the aisle. She didn’t need a rose in her life, or a man to grow her one. But as for Joseph, surely he could find another woman he loved the way he had once loved Silvia, just as she had found a man who fit the life she had once lived with Lonnie. Roses were for Joseph, but they were not for her. Anyone could see that plainly enough. But what if Joseph was right? What if she could have with Isaiah what she hadn’t had with Lonnie? Was there something to what Joseph had said? But how would Isaiah be different from Lonnie? How was she different all these years later? She was still the same woman, and Isaiah was so like Lonnie. They were two flowers that looked the same—but did they also smell alike? Did she want flowers and butterflies in her stomach—a love to take her breath away?

  FOURTEEN

  The following Friday afternoon, Esther opened the oven door and removed the cake from the rack with her mitt-covered hand. She set the round cake on the stove top and bent down for a closer look. Her arms still ached from the severe beating she had given the egg whites earlier in the day to produce a decent angel food cake. She hoped the effort had not been wasted. Even then, Isaiah might not appreciate the cake, enraptured as he was with pecan pie for dessert. Not that she was complaining. She liked a man who was so easily satisfied with the basics. How else could she pass muster? She had no fancy frills or daydreams to offer the relationship. She was Esther Stoltzfus, a simple woman who lived a simple life.

  Joseph’s words from the produce market last Saturday had disturbed her all week, but she was not going to take them to heart. She was building a solid relationship with Isaiah. Why even think about disturbing things with fancy thoughts of love and roses?

  Esther squinted at the browned top of the angel food cake. “I hope you taste better than you look,” she muttered.

  “I want a piece of that cake,” Diana piped up from below.

  “Where did you come from?” Esther patted her daughter on the head. “You sneaked right up on me.”

  Diana grinned. “Can I have a piece, please, especially if it’s no goot?”

  “You hear too much.” Esther smiled down at the little girl. “I’m afraid you’ll have to wait for supper.”

  “Is Joseph coming?”

  “No, Isaiah is coming.”

  “I want to see Joseph. I haven’t seen him all week.”

  “We’re going to help with the Saturday market again tomorrow. You can see Joseph then. Tonight Isaiah is coming.”

  Diana pouted. “Isaiah doesn’t tell me anything interesting. I want to know about new things.”

  “Maybe you can ask Isaiah about his farming,” Esther suggested. “He has many acres of grassland, black cattle, and a nice house.”

  “He does?”

  “Yah. I should take you over there sometime.”

  Diana didn’t appear impressed. “I want Joseph to come for supper tonight.”

  “Well, he’s not coming, but you can have a piece of angel food cake after we’ve eaten the main course if—” Esther stopped short when she heard the sound of buggy wheels coming up the driveway. “There’s Isaiah now. Right on time, as usual. Go give him a hug and a big Stoltzfus welcome.”

  “You don’t ever give Isaiah a hug.”

  Esther drew a sharp breath. “Diana, that wouldn’t be decent.”

  “Why not? I give him hugs.”

  Esther bent on one knee to wrap her daughter in both arms. “It’s difficult to explain, sweetheart, but it wouldn’t be right. Now shall we go welcome Isaiah together?”

  Diana’s head bobbed up and down. Esther took Diana’s hand to lead the way out the front door. Isaiah had already tied Echo to the hitching post and waved toward them. They came close to greet him.

  He looked at both of them and smiled. “Goot evening. Is supper ready?”

  “Goot evening yourself,” Esther told him. “Diana can’t wait for angel food cake, so we’d better eat soon.”

  Isaiah bent on one knee and opened his arms. “How are you tonight, Diana?”

  “Okay.” She cheerfully returned his hug.

  “So I hear you like angel food cake?” Isaiah asked. “Meat and gravy—now that’s what a person can grow strong on. Don’t you want to grow up big and strong so you can help your mamm in the garden?”

  Diana looked at him with a puzzled expression.

  “I think you need a son,” Esther told him.

  He bent down for another hug. “I guess I don’t know much about little girls.”

  Diana’s face lit up. “Tomorrow we’re going to help with the Saturday market, and I’m taking along a piece of my angel food cake for Joseph.”

  “Really?” Isaiah glanced over at Esther.

  “Oh?” She looked at her daughter. “That’s news to me.”

  “Joseph loves angel food cake,” Diana insisted.

  “And you know this how?” Esther pressed her lips together. Why did Diana have to bring up Joseph again?

  “He just does.”

  “Did Joseph tell you this?” Isaiah asked. “Maybe while he was telling you that no two flowers smell the same?”

  Diana’s perplexed expression was back.

  “I’m sorry,” Isaiah said again. He picked up Diana for the walk toward the house. She wiggled out of his arms at the front porch and ran inside ahead of them.

  Isaiah turned to Esther with a smile. “So how have you been doing? It’s goot to see you again.”

  “And you.” She returned his smile, holding open the front door. “Supper’s getting cold. We can’t have that.”

  “Nope,” he agreed. “We certainly can’t.”

  She led the way to the kitchen and motioned for Isaiah to sit down. Diana was already perched on her chair with an eye on the cake.

  “Shall we pray?” Isaiah asked, bowing his head without waiting for an answer. “We give You thanks tonight for this delicious food before us, dear Lord. Bless Esther for the hard work she put into the preparations. Bless both Diana and Esther, and their precious home. Thank You for bringing them to the community safely and in Your time. Bless our evening together. May You always be the center of all our actions and thoughts. Amen.”

  “Amen,” Diana echoed.

  Isaiah gave her a warm smile.

  Diana giggled, and Isaiah reached across the table to serve her first. Esther watched with a catch in her throat. What more could she want than this? Yah, this was home. Her life was being given back to her. She had been selfish to think she should ask for more. Joseph was wrong about Isaiah and her, as he was wrong about his relationship with Arlene.

  Diana dived into her food when Isaiah handed her a plate. He watched the child eat for a second before he filled his own plate with meat loaf, mashed potatoes, and gravy. Esther glanced away. Why couldn’t Isaiah dish out her food the way he had served Diana? But where had that thought come from? What silliness. She wasn’t a child in need of attention.

  “Here’s the bread.” She passed him the plate of thickly cut slices.

  He smiled and buttered his piece as she filled her own plate.

  “So tell me about your day,” Isaiah said to Diana.

  Diana thought for a moment. “I played with my dolls in the backyard, but it’s not as fun as playing down at Joseph’s place with his boxes. We didn’t go down there all week.”

  “But you’re going tomorrow,” Isaiah prompted.

&n
bsp; “Yah.” Diana’s interest increased. “There will be lots of people there, and loud talking as they sell things, and Joseph’s roses. They’re so beautiful.”

  “They are beautiful,” Isaiah agreed. “Will you be buying any?”

  Diana giggled. “I don’t have to. Joseph gave me one last Saturday, but it didn’t last very long. I dropped it.”

  “That’s too bad,” Isaiah commiserated. “I’m sure Joseph can give you another one tomorrow.”

  Diana peered across the table at him. “Do you have roses?”

  Isaiah laughed. “I’m not a rose man, myself. Just a common fellow, you could say. But I’m glad you like roses.”

  “I do.”

  “Are you a rose admirer like your daughter?” Isaiah asked Esther.

  “Oh, I guess. They’re beautiful and they do smell nice. Did you bring some for me?”

  Isaiah’s fork nearly fell from his fingers.

  She forced a laugh. “Isaiah, I’m just teasing.”

  He laughed with her. “You startled me for a moment. I thought some fancy ways had suddenly taken hold of you.”

  Esther concentrated on her food, hoping there would be no more talk of roses. Where had that all come from? What was wrong with her?

  Isaiah paused with his fork halfway to this mouth. “But…now that we’re on the subject, what was the story you were going to tell me about Joseph’s rose?”

  “Maybe we should finish supper first.”

  “You have me worried, Esther. You’re always pushing this off. What’s the big secret?”

  She tried to smile. “You’re helping me wash dishes afterward, aren’t you? We can talk then.” She sent a quick nod toward Diana.

  “I see. Then this is serious.”

  “No, not really,” she hastened to say, but he was clearly not convinced.

  “I think we do need to talk,” he added, taking another bite of food. A heavy silence fell in the kitchen.

  “Can I have some angel food cake now?” Diana asked, her face uplifted.

  Esther cut the first piece of cake as Isaiah dished himself out another helping of mashed potatoes.

  Diana took a bite, her face rapturous.

  “Is it goot?” Isaiah asked.

  Diana nodded, grinning from ear to ear as she took another forkful.

  Obviously her daughter was impressed with her extra effort baking the cake. But would Isaiah notice?

  “Why aren’t you eating, Mamm?” Diana piped up. “This is so yummy.”

  Esther forced herself to cut a piece, put it on her plate, and bring the fork to her mouth. The spongy goodness practically melted in her mouth.

  “It is goot,” she agreed softly, and Diana seemed satisfied. She finished her piece, but Isaiah hadn’t yet helped himself to one.

  “Let’s pray,” he said, bowing his head.

  After the amen, Diana asked Isaiah, “Aren’t you going to try a piece of angel food cake?”

  “Maybe later,” Isaiah said. “I’m full to the top right now.”

  Diana giggled and scurried off.

  “Okay,” Isaiah said, turning to Esther. “Start talking.”

  “It’s nothing really,” she protested. “It’s just that Joseph has a hybrid rose he created himself, and he had Silvia’s daett enter it in some rose-growing competition in California. You have to submit your seeds two years in advance, he said, and they grow them on their own land and judge the live specimens. The judging is this year. The award is a big deal for Joseph, who named his new rose after his deceased frau. That’s it.”

  “And you know all this how?”

  “Joseph told me. Beyond that, I know a little something about roses, but not as much as he does.”

  “And what happens if Joseph wins this award for his rose?”

  “There could be some fuss, I suppose.”

  “Like what kind of fuss?”

  “Oh, you know, maybe a newspaper would want to report a story like his. Especially with it being Amish related.”

  “And what has this to do with us?”

  “Nothing.”

  “I agree,” he said. “This sounds like Joseph’s problem if he causes a ruckus in the community.”

  “So now you know as much as I do,” Esther said, forcing a quick smile.

  “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

  “I didn’t think it was important. Can’t you just forget about Joseph and his roses? Won’t you have a piece of angel food cake? I spent extra time whipping the egg whites, and they turned out real well. Try a piece and see if I’m not right.” She cut a piece of the cake and put it on his plate.

  “This is not like you, Esther, wanting attention for what you do. You’re avoiding something. Tell me—are you in love with Joseph?”

  She shook her head. “Of course not. It’s you I want to fall in love…” Almost the words had slipped out. What must Isaiah think? What they had was love.

  He took a large bite of cake and chewed slowly.

  “Is it okay?” She dared a glance at him.

  “Yah, it’s delicious. You did a goot job, Esther. Maybe you can bake one for the barn raising at my place next Friday. Not that I’ll have much chance of getting a piece with everyone else in line.”

  She lowered her head. “I’ll see that you get some, Isaiah. And I’m sorry about what I said. I’m ashamed that I should want more than what you’re giving me. You give me plenty of attention and care.”

  His smile was thin. “Joseph can put strange ideas into one’s mind and heart, but we are a down-to-earth people, Esther. I’m sure you understand that.”

  “I do. Thank you for coming tonight. Your presence is always a great joy to me.”

  “And your suppers are splendid,” he replied. “I couldn’t ask for better food.”

  “You are very kind, Isaiah. You give me much more than I deserve.”

  “You’ll soon have me falling in love,” he teased, and they laughed together.

  FIFTEEN

  Early the following Tuesday morning Esther dug her fingers deep into the dark soil of Joseph’s greenhouse, pulling up weeds in bunches. The row of seedlings in front of her faded in and out of focus. Everything had gone well at the produce market on Saturday, but yesterday the Sunday service had undone her again. She envisioned Isaiah’s handsome face as he preached his sermon. His voice had been sure and steady, but his gaze rarely drifted in her direction. What had Isaiah thought of her strange statement on Friday evening—that she wanted to fall in love with him? Isaiah had joked and they had laughed at the end of the evening, but things were not the same anymore. They both knew something was wrong.

  Those words should never have been thought, let alone spoken. How could she think that she wasn’t in love with Isaiah—and then tell him so? What an insult she had handed him. What immaturity on her part.

  Her heart was pounding but for the wrong reasons. Had she not loved Lonnie with all of her heart, as Lonnie had loved her? The same love must have existed between Isaiah and Mandy. How embarrassing for her to blurt out what she did. It was a wonder Isaiah hadn’t walked out of the house.

  Joseph was to blame for this. Isaiah hadn’t said anything to her about staying away from Joseph, but perhaps he wanted her to use common sense and keep her distance from the man. Perhaps she shouldn’t even be here in his greenhouse. And yet, how awkward would that be? Avoiding Joseph might be seen as an admission, confirmation that her heart had strayed. Such an admission should disqualify her as a minister’s frau right on the spot, so staying away from Joseph was not the right choice. Neither could she abandon her garden. What a waste that would be.

  Esther’s face flamed at the memory of her words, and she yanked at the weeds in front of her all the harder, pulling up several of the young carrot plants along with the weeds. Esther took a deep breath and stilled her thoughts. This was no way to act.

  Joseph’s soft shuffle behind her turned Esther’s head. She forced a smile and stood.

  “Keep
pulling,” he said, motioning with his hand. “I don’t want to disturb you.”

  “You certainly have a green thumb. You have things growing quite well here.”

  “Yah, including the weeds,” he said with a grin. “If I could just figure out a way to stop them from helping themselves to the nutrients.”

  “That’s the Lord’s doing, I’m thinking. Much like life—we take the goot with the bad.”

  He nodded. “It does seem so. If you don’t mind my asking, what weeds are growing in your life, Esther? Also, where’s Diana?”

  She turned away. “I dropped her off at Dorrine’s, and we’d best not speak of the other, Joseph.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. I hope something hasn’t come between you and Isaiah. I wondered on Saturday if something was troubling you.”

  She studied the ground. “No, we’re okay…”

  He winced. “So there is something wrong? I hope I’m not to blame.”

  Esther sighed. “Joseph, you did nothing wrong.”

  “It seems I did.” He shifted off his lame foot. “Does Isaiah object to you having a garden here?”

  “No!” she exclaimed. “It’s what you said at the produce market the Saturday before last. And your stories about love, Joseph… they’ve gone to my head and stirred my imagination. As a result, I said something very stupid to Isaiah on Friday night.”

  “Oh, I doubt that, but I’m sorry that anything I said caused problems. I was just grateful for someone to speak to after Arlene’s obtuseness.”

  Esther forced a laugh. “Like I said, it’s not your fault.”

  “I have led a blessed life, Esther. A rare one in some ways, though most people who know me probably wouldn’t understand that. The truth is, not many men receive the wunderbah kind of love that Silvia gave me.”

  “There you go again. When you say things like that, I feel like a cold fish. A woman who will marry a man without really loving him.”

  “I’m sure you love Isaiah—”

  “Then why did I tell him that I want to fall in love with him? I made it sound as if I don’t love him already!”

  Joseph studied the ground at his feet. “Your carrots are growing fine along with everything else.”