Silvia's Rose

by Jerry S. Eicher

  “It’ll be okay,” Arlene repeated as the ambulance rocked down the incline toward the small town of Little Falls.

  Esther wiped her eyes and tried to compose herself. She needed to focus and be prepared for whatever medical decision lay ahead of her. Isaiah would be with her soon. She was sure of that.

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  Esther sat in the waiting room of St. Elizabeth’s in Utica, where Diana had been transferred immediately after their arrival at the Little Falls Hospital. Arlene sat beside Esther, white-faced and apparently as traumatized as she was.

  “She’ll be okay,” was all the information anyone would give her. But why had Diana been transferred if she would be okay? She knew enough about medical ways to know that only serious cases were sent to a better facility. What was really wrong with Diana? The girl had been breathing when she disappeared through the emergency room doors at St. Elizabeth’s, but she had not made a sound on the way. What a change from only hours ago, when Diana had been filled with such vibrancy, happiness, and joy.

  Esther tried not to go down the road of doubt and worry. The Lord had allowed this injury, but He had not taken Diana from her. Surely the Lord wouldn’t—not after Lonnie’s death. Not after the pain she had already endured.

  But still, the Lord did what He thought best. What if Diana was needed in glory with the angels?

  “It’ll be okay.” Arlene repeated the only words she seemed capable of uttering at the moment. “It’ll be okay.”

  “Thank you,” Esther whispered. “You comfort my heart with a little hope, at least.”

  “It’ll be okay,” Arlene repeated, squeezing Esther’s hand.

  “How are you doing?” Esther asked. Arlene appeared pale. “Maybe you should get something to eat in the cafeteria. It must be well past lunchtime by now.”

  Arlene shook her head. “I couldn’t eat a thing. This was my fault, you know.” A tear trickled down Arlene’s face for the first time.

  “Arlene!” Esther exclaimed. “I was the one who wasn’t paying attention to what Diana was doing and let her get away from me.”

  “But she was running to meet me,” Arlene choked. “If I hadn’t called to her, she wouldn’t have run across the road.”

  “That doesn’t change anything,” Esther told her. “Diana knows to look both ways before running across the street. I should have had a better eye on her. Usually I would have heard her leaving the greenhouse, but I was…” Esther looked away. “We just have to pray that she will get well. You can do that, can’t you?”

  Arlene nodded, still looking miserable.

  Esther reached over to give Arlene a hug. “Nothing can be accomplished by assigning blame. Now we just have to make the best of things. And we must pray out of pure hearts, so let us give our blame to the Lord and ask for His forgiveness.”

  “I…I don’t know if I can do that,” Arlene whispered.

  “But we must. It’s the only way,” Esther insisted. She took Arlene’s hand and bowed her head. “Dear Lord, help us. Forgive us our many failings, and have mercy on Diana’s broken little body right now. Don’t hold my sweet little girl accountable for my faults… our faults. And help us both in the future walk closer to Your will. Amen.”

  “Amen,” Arlene echoed. “I do feel better already. Shall I go get something to eat for both of us?”

  “I can’t eat.” Esther forced a smile. “But you go.”

  Arlene retreated down the long hallway, and the minutes ticked past. Esther wished Isaiah would come, but it would take some time for him to find a driver and trace her route. Maybe Isaiah’s Englisha neighbor would drive him for this emergency. No one in the community liked to impose on their neighbors, and they didn’t ask for rides unless absolutely necessary. That was one of the blessings of life in the valley. Most of the stores and businesses were within driving distance for the community’s horses and buggies. Maybe Isaiah would attempt the drive to Utica with Echo but…no, he couldn’t. The distance was simply too much for a horse. But he must know to hurry. She needed him, as she had needed the Lord in prayer.

  Esther stood to pace the floor. A young Englisha woman and her small son were seated at the other end of the waiting room.

  The woman attempted a weak smile. “How are things going with you?”

  “We don’t know yet,” Esther replied, walking toward her. “I’m waiting on word about my daughter, who was injured in a car accident.”

  “I’m so sorry to hear that,” the woman said.

  Esther offered her hand. “I’m Esther Stoltzfus. What brings you here?”

  Tears formed in the woman’s eyes. “My husband woke up with chest pains this morning, so we called 911. A light heart attack, they told us. He’s supposed to be out once they’ve gone over things.” The woman wiped her eyes and attempted a laugh. “Here’s to healthy eating the rest of our lives, but at least we still have him with us.” She wrapped her arm around the young boy and pulled him close. “I’m Phyllis, by the way, and this is Tommy.”

  “Hi, Tommy.” Esther offered the little boy a smile and sat down beside them.

  “My daddy will be well soon,” he chirped.

  “I’m very glad to hear that,” Esther assured him.

  “He won’t be able to play ball with me for a while,” Tommy continued. “Daddy’s heart has to heal first.”

  “Shhh…” Phyllis chided him. “Don’t talk so much.”

  “My daughter does her share of chattering when she’s well,” Esther said, her own tears stinging.

  When would Diana again run free across the backyard? With Isaiah by her side, when would she be ready to shoot arrows at straw bales? Or bend low over the rosebushes to take in the scent of the flowers? The images agonized her. She was no stranger to loss, but this seemed different somehow. The hurt went deeper this time.

  Phyllis reached over to hold Esther’s hand. “We will pray that the doctors will soon have a good report for you.”

  “Please do,” Esther whispered, unable to say more at the moment. She looked up to see Isaiah’s tall form in the hospital hallway.

  “Your husband?” Phyllis asked.

  “No, my boyfriend,” Esther managed.

  Boyfriend was probably appropriate as she planned to fly into Isaiah’s arms right here in this public place. She stood and managed to take a few steps before he caught her in his embrace. She buried her face in his chest and pulled him close. There was no shame in this. Isaiah would be her husband by this fall, and they had embraced before—though never under such awful circumstances.

  “How are you doing, Esther?” His hand stroked her arm. “And Diana? I’m so sorry. I came as quickly as I could.”

  “I know you did,” she said. “Come.” She took his hand. “Just sit beside me. This was all my fault. I’ve already confessed to the Lord, but I must tell you too. I was distracted in the greenhouse, and I didn’t hear Diana run outside.”

  “You mustn’t blame yourself,” Isaiah told her. “It could happen to any mamm.”

  “Oh, Isaiah!” Her tears came again. “That’s so kind of you to say, but I was still to blame. I…” Esther stopped. She couldn’t say the words and might never tell him about her conversation with Joseph. How foolish she had been.

  “Have you any news from the doctor?”

  Esther shook her head and leaned against his shoulder. “It’s just so goot that you came. I was so…” Again she stopped. They were not wed, and she must not make a display of herself.

  Isaiah nodded as if he understood. “Let me go talk with the nurse or perhaps the doctor. Someone should have news by now.”

  Esther smiled up at him. Maybe this was what she had also missed. A man who took charge and could order doctors and nurses around. She didn’t have the courage even in goot times, let alone with Diana lying injured somewhere in a vast hospital.

  Isaiah stood to walk back up the hallway. Esther watched his broad back until he vanished around the corner. Phyllis gave her a warm smile when
Esther sat down again. “Do you have other children?” Phyllis asked.

  Esther felt her cheeks grow warm. Clearly, the truth was always the better route. “No. I…I’m a widow,” she managed. “Isaiah and I will be wed this fall if the Lord wills.”

  “Oh!” Phyllis’s smile didn’t dim. “He looks like a keeper.”

  “Yah, he is,” Esther agreed, forcing herself to relax.

  “Looks like your food is back,” Phyllis said when Arlene reappeared.

  “A sandwich,” Arlene offered. “I know you said you didn’t want anything, but I passed Isaiah in the hallway, and he thought you might be well enough now to eat.”

  “Thank you.” Esther took a deep breath. “I guess I am now that he is here.”

  Arlene handed over the sandwich and seated herself beside Esther.

  “This is Phyllis and her son, Tommy,” Esther told Arlene, making introductions. “Phyllis’s husband had a heart attack this morning but will be released soon.”

  “Hi,” Arlene chirped. “Goot to meet you, although not under these circumstances.” She attempted a laugh. “Sorry. I’m rather clumsy with words.”

  “That’s okay,” Phyllis assured her.

  Esther took a bite of the sandwich but paused when Isaiah reappeared, accompanied by a doctor. The two men walked toward them, and Esther set down her sandwich to stand on trembling legs. Arlene stood with her, holding her hand.

  “Mrs. Stoltzfus? I’m Dr. Kramer.” He held out his hand. “I’m sorry about your daughter’s accident, but you’re a lucky mother. Everything will be okay.”

  “We are blessed, yah,” Esther managed. “What is wrong with Diana?”

  “A concussion for one, which is why we would like for her to stay overnight for observation. She also has a broken arm and some internal injuries—bruising to the spleen and the liver—but nothing that won’t heal. We’ve done an MRI and know we don’t have to operate. Your daughter is conscious, and you can be in her room if you wish.”

  “Of course! Yah! Where?” Esther stumbled over the words.

  The doctor smiled. “A nurse can show you the way, and I wish you all the best.”

  “Thank you, Doctor. Thank you so much.”

  Dr. Kramer smiled before leaving them. Isaiah took her hand. “Come. I know where the room is.”

  “You do?” Esther choked on the words.

  She wanted to see Diana, but she also wanted Isaiah to hold her and never let go. She wanted to drift off in his arms into a world where there was no trouble.

  Esther gathered her wits and turned to Phyllis before she left. “Thank you for sharing our sorrow with us.”

  “And your joy,” Phyllis said with a bright smile. “Your little girl will be up and running in no time.”

  “We hope so,” Esther agreed. She responded to Isaiah’s gentle pull on her hand, following him up the aisle and down a long hallway with doors on each side. Arlene quietly followed. Finally, Isaiah pushed open a door. Diana was inside, tucked under the covers of the bed with a nurse by her side. The girl looked up and burst into tears.

  Esther let go of Isaiah’s hand to rush across the room. She hovered over her daughter and stroked her hair across her forehead.

  “Oh, Mamm, I’m so glad to see you,” Diana whispered. “I thought you had gone far away.”

  “No, dear heart. I wouldn’t do that,” Esther whispered back. “And neither would Isaiah.” She turned to allow him to come closer.

  He reached out and held one of Diana’s hands. “I’m sorry you got a little bang on your head,” he said. “No shooting arrows for a while.”

  “What happened to me?” Diana asked.

  “You ran in front of a car when you crossed Fords Bush Road,” Esther said. A rebuke rose inside of her, but now was not the time.

  “I don’t remember it,” Diana whispered. “I was just…”

  “It’s okay, sweetheart. Say hello to Arlene. She came along with me in the ambulance.”

  “I rode in an ambulance?” Diana’s interest rose for the first time.

  Esther held back her tears as Arlene came over to gently pat Diana’s hand.

  Moments later Isaiah whispered in Esther’s ear. “I’ll be leaving now, but I’ll be back this evening for a visit.”

  “Thanks for coming,” Esther told him.

  “Would you like to come with me?” Isaiah asked Arlene.

  She hesitated for a moment. “Maybe I should. I’ll come back later this evening, Esther.”

  “That would be so kind of you.”

  The two waved from the doorway before they left.

  Esther pulled up a chair and settled in by her daughter’s bed.

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  Hearing the sounds of a buggy pulling in the driveway, Esther pushed back the drapes to peek out the living room window.

  “Who is it?” Diana called from the makeshift bed Esther had constructed for her in the middle of the living room.

  “Willis and Beth,” Esther replied. “The Sunday service must be over, and they’re coming to visit you.”

  Diana tried to sit up. “Is Isaiah coming too?”

  “I hope so. But remember, he was just here yesterday when he brought you home from the hospital.”

  “I want to see him.”

  “I do too.”

  Esther stepped away from the drapes to open the front door. “Goot afternoon!” she called out. “How was the service this morning?”

  “We missed you,” Beth called back as Willis tied their horse to the hitching post. They slowly made their way up to the house.

  “It’s so goot of you to visit,” Esther told them as she stepped to the bottom of the porch steps to greet the couple.

  Once inside, they headed straight for Diana’s bed. “Well, what happened to you?” Willis boomed. “Did you trip down the stairs like I almost did last week?”

  Diana giggled. “A car got me. A big one that zoomed down the road while I wasn’t looking.”

  “Yah, those Englisha cars sure can zoom fast,” he said with a smile. “But you’ll have to look extra sharp before you cross the road next time.”

  “Mamm has been telling me that,” Diana replied. “I’ll try to remember to do that.”

  “Well, now, tell me. Have you been out of bed yet?”

  “I don’t want to yet,” Diana said with a scowl on her face. “It hurts too much. Maybe when Isaiah comes.” Her face brightened. “Mamm said he would.”

  “Isaiah was getting his horse ready when we left,” Beth told her. “In fact, here he is right now.”

  “Oh, goody,” Diana sang out. She tried to sit up but gave a little cry and lay back.

  “You just take it easy,” Beth warned, pulling up a chair beside Diana’s bed. Willis did likewise. Esther left them with a quick backward glance. The scene soothed her spirits and comforted her heart. What a blessing to have their bishop come to the house and pull up a chair beside the bed of her daughter to minister to her.

  Esther slipped outside, where Isaiah was climbing down from his buggy. “How’s the little one?” he asked with great tenderness.

  “Eagerly waiting for you.”

  He opened his arms for a hug, but Esther shook her head. “Willis and Beth are inside.”

  “I know that. And they know we plan to wed.”

  “It’s broad daylight, Isaiah,” she protested. “And we’re out on my front lawn. See, here come Dorrine and John with their buggy. They would have seen us.”

  “They would have understood, Esther, but it’s okay.” He touched her arm instead.

  “I’m still feeling guilty about the accident.” She looked up at him.

  “You have to get over that,” he told her as he tied Echo to the hitching post. “Accidents happen to children all the time, even to goot parents like you. There’s nothing wrong with your mothering, Esther. I wish I could do something to help you believe that.”

  “You came.” She smiled up at him. “That helps. And now you can help me mak
e popcorn.”

  “That I cannot do,” he said as they waited for the Kings’ buggy to pull into the driveway. Arlene climbed out from the back first and helped the two youngest boys down.

  Esther waved, but Arlene responded with only a slight nod of her head.

  “How is everybody?” Dorrine called from the buggy door.

  “Recovering,” Esther said. “Diana’s not too grouchy, so I’m thankful for that. Things could have been much worse.”

  “Yah,” Dorrine allowed, making her way slowly down the buggy steps. “Did you know that the driver’s insurance company will pay your bills even though it wasn’t their fault?”

  “I didn’t,” Esther reponded. “I’ve been too taken with Diana’s injuries to think about hospital bills.”

  “The Lord be praised!” Isaiah proclaimed. “That’s very kind of them, although the community would have stepped in to help.”

  “I’m sure they would have,” John agreed from the hitching post. “But perhaps this is the way the Lord provides this time.”

  “I would have done my share.” Esther spoke up. “This was mostly my fault.”

  “We’re not going there again,” Isaiah replied. “Come, I think someone said something about popcorn a moment ago. What more is needed on a Sunday afternoon to cheer a poor soul than goot company and popcorn?”

  “You can say that again,” John replied.

  “All of you being here will certainly cheer Diana,” Esther informed them.

  Isaiah grinned. “Your company cheers me, Esther. In fact, I think popcorn would stick to my throat this afternoon if I didn’t have you by my side.”

  Dorrine chuckled. “Do I hear Minister Isaiah singing your praises again? But where were these words in his sermon?”

  “That’s because Esther wasn’t there to hear the sermon,” Isaiah said, and they all laughed.

  Esther lowered her head. She had not expected such teasing. She hoped things would soon return to normal after the awful shock of Diana’s injury.

  As they all made their way into the house, Arlene went into the kitchen to begin preparing the popcorn. Isaiah went over to Diana’s bedside. “You poor little thing,” he sang out. “All broken and fallen out of the tree with her limb in a white cast. What shall we do?”