Dirty Cops Next Door

by Summer Cooper

  “Ouch, I felt that,” Lillian grumbled. Mary had already gone into the barn and returned with a mug of coffee.

  “Here, I’m sure this will help, Mom,” Mary said as she also moved the umbrella to a position that shielded Lillian’s eyes from any more intruding rays of sunshine. “Won’t you get hot in that?” Mary added, pointing to the matador hat Lillian was still wearing.

  “I didn’t sleep in it, you know. I just thought it might be useful between the door and the umbrella. Rather cute isn’t it?” Lillian chuckled.

  “Yes, very cute, but I hope you’re not planning on it becoming your normal wear. I’d have to walk quite a few feet behind you if you do,” Mary said.

  “Oh, heavens no. I thought it would be a wonderful present for your Dad. Always have trouble finding something for Walter. He obviously has too much already. Not sure where he’d wear it, though,” Lillian replied, removing the hat and gazing at it admiringly. She placed it carefully down on the table and began to work on her mug of coffee.

  “So, I know how my day went yesterday, well at least the bits I remember, such a lovely couple they are, Chuck and Edna. Such fun. Been all over the world, very well-travelled, they are.” Lillian appeared to be on the verge of a long ramble so Mary sat back and waited with a patient smile.

  Lillian took another sip of her coffee, grimaced as a stray beam of light edged into her eyes, and took a deep breath.

  Mary nodded at all of the appropriate moments and let Lillian ramble.

  “So how was your day, dear? With Ben I mean, obviously. Good was it? Do anything interesting? See anything unusual or exciting?” Lillian asked, smiling and giving a wink.

  “I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about, Mom. Stop that winking! Yes, we had a wonderful day without you, thank you very much,” Mary said, trying to hide a rueful grin that Lillian still caught.

  “Ah indeed? Wonderful was it? Want to tell me about it? Well wait ‘til I reload this coffee. I can’t do early morning intrigue, even if it is the afternoon, without coffee,” Lilian replied as she stood up and headed into the kitchen of the barn.

  Mary followed her with her eyes and gazed towards the gate, wondering if Ben might make an appearance before she could say anything to her mother. Perhaps, it would be better if he was here and she could delay the conversation a while until she was ready. Or perhaps now was the best time to let her mother know everything. She sat, toying with her own coffee mug as she pondered how she wanted the discussion to go.

  Lillian returned, still sporting her matador hat and set herself down at the table, smiling expectantly at Mary.

  “Well? I have coffee and you have gossip. When you’re ready, dear, and be so kind as to move the umbrella a touch more to the left,” Lillian said, shielding her eyes.

  “Is it too soon to fall in love again, Mom?” Mary asked, returning Lillian’s expectant stare.

  “Love? Well now, that is a tricky one. Are you in love with Ben? Are you not just infatuated with a handsome, intelligent, Englishman? I’m not sure I know. I met your Dad when I was eighteen. Fell in love, got married and never looked anywhere else. Were you in love a few weeks ago when you were getting ready to walk up the aisle with that cretin? Does it feel the same?” Lillian asked, looking as serious as someone could wearing a matador hat and a nightgown.

  Mary sat staring at her mother pondering how to answer. She actually wasn’t sure how it had fallen into place as it had, but yes, she knew she was deeply in love with Ben.

  “Jason was a huge mistake, Mom. A huge mistake. I understand that now. I guess I thought that was all I was ever going to amount to, you know?” Mary replied.

  “I never thought I’d ever leave West Virginia, but here we are. We left the whole continent. Maybe everyone should have a sort of pre-wedding honeymoon or something before they make such a big decision. Yes, I love Ben. More than anything in the whole world.”

  “And does Ben love you?” Lillian asked as she removed the matador hat and stared intently back at Mary waiting for an honest answer.

  Mary shrugged and gave a grimace.

  “I don’t know Mom. He didn’t say so. But yesterday, well...” She paused.

  Lillian nodded and said, “Yesterday. Go on.”

  “Well yesterday with just the two of us, yes, he sure acted like he did. He acted like I was the only person in the world and he made me feel like I was the only person in the world. Surely he loves me right? Or will?” Mary answered looking somewhat crestfallen at her own inconclusive answer.

  “Maybe you should ask him and find out before letting it get too far if it hasn’t already,” Lillian replied, trying to read her daughter for hidden details she hadn’t spilled.

  “So what do I do, Mom? I do love him and I don’t want to mess this up. I don’t want to scare him off now we’re here. We have another week left. I could never come out the barn if I found out I’d made a fool of myself. I’d die!” Mary whimpered.

  Lillian leaned a comforting hand to her daughter’s cheek to catch a tear drop.

  “Do you want me to go round there and sort this fella out? I will, you know. I won’t have my baby crying over no damn man again, no matter how fancy he talks, you hear me?”

  “No! No Mom, please! I’d die of shame!” Mary replied, horrified at the thought even though she caught her mother’s grin.

  “Hey girls! How’s my two favourite American ladies today? Sore heads and arguing already?” The sound of Ben’s voice, completely ignorant of the conversation taking place about him, brought a lot of shuffling of chairs, wiping of eyes and attempts at regaining composure.

  Ben strolled through the gate with a fresh mug of tea in hand. He quickly glanced at the two sombre, but quickly rearranging faces and noticed Mary looking sheepishly down at the table.

  “Did I come at a bad time? Sorry, but I couldn’t wait another minute to be with your beautiful daughter, Lillian, if that’s okay with you?” He gave her a smile that he hoped combined hopefulness and an apology.

  Lillian beamed at him. “Sit yourself right down. I’m going inside for a shower and another coffee. I shall leave you two lovebirds alone if you don’t mind.”

  “Did you mean that?” Mary asked as Ben sat himself down beside Mary and Lillian sauntered back into the barn, her matador hat waving merrily on her head.

  “Mean what?” Ben replied giving a puzzled smile.

  “About being with me and missing me?” Mary asked.

  “Well, to be fair, I never said missing you, did I?” Ben teased. “But yes, of course I’ve missed you. I would have been round earlier but thought you might have been needing some space after a long night of the Vogelsangs and a lot of wine. Yes, I missed you every minute you were gone, Mary.”

  Mary leaned forward and kissed him. Ben kissed her back, his hand going to her face as she leaned into his arms. They sat quietly together, their lips brushing together softly as they shared a moment at the table.

  Lillian saw it all through a chink in the curtains, and smiled before heading for her shower. Time to allow them some privacy, she thought, as she headed for the bathroom.

  She made plans as she showered and dressed; plans that would give the couple more privacy. Walking out to the pair on the patio, their embrace quickly becoming detached as they heard the curtain being pushed aside on the door, Lillian tried to hide a pleased smile that just wouldn’t be stopped. Hoping she didn’t sound too pleased with herself, or the situation, she announced she was going out for a while and wouldn’t be back for quite some time.

  “Where? On your own, Mom?” Mary asked.

  “I just had a message from Edna. They’re on their way over to pick me up for lunch. You two are invited of course. I said I would let you know. I wasn’t sure either way, but I’m certainly going. That Chuck is a scream,” Lilian replied.

  “Shall we go with Mom and the Vogelsangs? Or would you prefer to stay home?” Mary asked Ben as she wrapped an arm around his shoulders and smiled at her m
other.

  “Lunch with the Vogelsangs? Hmmm. Not sure I could handle a whole day surrounded by Americans that don’t speak a word of English,” Ben replied looking stern faced.

  Mary punched his arm as Lillian scowled at him before he broke a smile and laughed. “I’d love a day out with them. You’re right, Chuck is great company, it’ll be fun.”

  The Vogelsangs arrived with a honking horn at the front gate and the three of them went out to meet them. They climbed into the back of the car with a flurry of handshakes and air kisses and set off to Faro to a favourite restaurant of the Vogelsangs’s.

  Chuck expertly swung the car into a parking bay outside a large Mexican restaurant. Lillian and Mary gave a whoop of pleasure when they saw the sign and Chuck leaned back at them smiling broadly.

  “Yup, I had a feeling you ladies might appreciate some home cooking.” Chuck turned to Ben. “I know we ain’t Mexicans, Ben, but we sure do love us some real Mexican food.”

  Ben smiled back at Chuck and nodded. “Yes, of course. I’m sure it will be wonderful.”

  Mary noted the side glance he gave afterwards and cornered him as they got out of the car.

  “Something wrong? I thought you liked spicy food. Or is Mexican too spicy for you?” Mary asked.

  Ben laughed. “I love spicy food. Just think you lot might be a bit disappointed is all. Portuguese don’t like spicy food, and this will be a shadow of the Mexican you get back home. It’ll be fun though, come on, let’s catch them up.” He took Mary’s arm and guided her behind the others who were already at the door of the restaurant.

  Inside, they were seated by a young waitress dressed in something that looked a vaguely Mexican getup and began reading the menu.

  Chuck let out a yelp of delight. “T-bone steak! They got T-bone steak!”

  “Chuck, dear, it’s a Mexican restaurant. You can have a T-bone anywhere. Choose something a little bit more exciting, honey. Look they got fajitas. You know you like those,” Edna said.

  “You get what you like, Edna baby, but for me it’s gonna be a T-bone all the way,” Chuck replied, scowling at his wife. Edna shrugged and looked around the table in surrender.

  “I think I’ll follow Chuck’s lead and go with the T-bone too,” Ben said, smiling.

  The food and drinks eventually arrived and they all tucked in. It didn’t take long before the whispering began.

  Ben caught Mary at it first as she hissed to her mother.

  “Do you think these people have ever been to an actual Mexican restaurant, Mom?” Ben overheard Mary say.

  “Well if they did, they forgot to bring the spice rack with them, that’s a fact. I didn’t know you could have a Mexican with no spices,” Lillian said, snickering.

  “You’re both right, but we’re out and I’m just happy to be in wonderful company with you guys,” Edna added, working her way through a large burrito.

  “Yeah, we’ve been here a few times, me and Edna. We know it ain’t like home but it’s better than a burger and fries to get rid of that homesick feeling right?” Chuck agreed, finishing off his T-bone.

  “One thing I know they can do well here,” Ben added, “Is margaritas. Now I know we’d all like to try one of those.” He beckoned the waitress over and in flawless Portuguese ordered a round of margaritas for the table.

  Ben was absolutely right and they all enjoyed the well prepared and perfect drinks. So much so they had another and Chuck was put on cola as they ordered more.

  Everyone was having a laugh and taking turns going over to the water closet when Ben wandered over to one of the paintings on the wall and straightened it with a piece of silly putty he had in his pocket. Mary watched him, and burst out laughing as she pointed it out to the rest of the table, teasing him about his obsession lightly. Ben shrugged and walked back to the table with a self-deprecating smile.

  “Nothing worse than a wonky picture I think, don’t you?” he said, sitting down. “Lillian, I do have something to ask you. I’m sure you do this in America too.”

  “Ask me what?” Lillian replied, puzzled.

  “Would you mind if I dated your daughter? I thought it only decent to ask you first. We seem to be getting on. I’m rambling but I just thought I should let you know is all,” Ben finished, sitting down abruptly and putting an arm round Mary.

  “Oh how gallant!” Edna cried. “How very gentlemanly of you Ben.”

  “Well, I’m guessing that decision was made yesterday, but I’m flattered you cared to let me know, thank you. Yes, of course you may date my daughter. Assuming, of course, she wants you too.”

  Edna and Chuck gave a spontaneous round of applause and the table erupted into fast chattering and laughter.

  After a long day, they drifted back home and with Lillian’s approval, Mary and Ben made their way up to his bedroom.

  13

  Mary sat with her mother on the patio drinking coffee, the next morning. The Vogelsangs were picking her up at ten o’clock to go sightseeing again. Lillian was excited and totally in love with Portugal.

  “I love your Pa, Mary. I love him dearly, I do. But dang I don’t want to ever leave this place. I know the food can be weird and the folk talk funny, but tell me this isn’t the most wonderful place on earth,” Lillian announced as she finished the last of her coffee.

  Mary had just got herself a mug after coming round from Ben’s apartment and was nodding.

  “But we have to go home, Mom. Not like we have a choice is it?” Mary replied, shaking her head as she sat down.

  “Anything wrong honey? With you and Ben I mean?” Lillian took her daughter’s hand and gave her a probing look.

  “Oh good grief no, not between us anyway. Just the big stinking reality that we only have one week left and then we fly home. Like you Mom, I really don’t want to go. I love Ben and I know he loves me. There must be some way I can stay. Somehow?” Mary replied, almost sobbing.

  “I don’t think the authorities would take too kindly to that Mary. Last thing they want is illegal American immigrants cluttering up the place, I’m sure,” Lillian said, not sure of how to solve the problem.

  “I’m going to talk to Ben while you’re out today with the Vogelsangs. Maybe he knows a lawyer.” Mary chewed at her bottom lip as her mother stood.

  “Well, my dear, we shall all find a way to make this work, I’m sure. I only want your happiness and there’s something about you since you met Ben. Maybe it’s just the vacation, maybe it’s being in somewhere new, but something in you has changed and I like it.” She leaned over to give her daughter’s cheek a peck before walking back to the patio door. She paused and turned back to Mary. “I bet he’ll make beautiful babies as well.”

  With a shriek of laughter, Lillian disappeared into the house once more, ignoring the flip-flop that came sailing through the curtain.

  Mary sat back in her chair, waiting for Ben to come around as the sun warmed her face. She thought about Ben, the sometimes OCD but very adorable man she’d come to love so quickly.

  He was intelligent and funny. Sometimes he seemed a bit stuffy, but he was British, that could happen. She smothered her own giggle and looked around guiltily. She knew there would be problems to face in the future, far more than just a shared language spoken in an entirely different manner. They were different people, they had different approaches to life, but she knew he brought out the best in her and she brought out the best in him. That had to be a good thing, right?

  She sat up from her reverie when she saw Ben coming through the gate, a mug of coffee in hand. She held her face up for a kiss, and tried not to laugh when he poured his coffee all over the patio as he leaned over.

  “Go ahead, I’ve made an idiot of myself again.” Ben laughed as he went for the mop standing on the side of the house. “I’ll clean up my mess.”

  Mary laughed with him. “Don’t bother, it’ll only dry off in five minutes anyway.”

  Ben ran the hosepipe over the mop, then put the mop down and sprayed the
baked tiles of the patio. He pointed the flow of the water to a drain and waited until he knew the water had flushed it all away.

  “Nope, around here you have to clean up or you’ll be invaded by ants. There’s enough sugar in that coffee to put an ant into a diabetic coma!” He settled into a chair after putting the hose away and she’d brought him a fresh cup and the sugar bowl.

  “Yes, we noticed the ant situation on our arrival. They’re incredible to watch but when I started having nightmares about them we started pouring cinnamon down to keep them out.” Mary twined her hand in his as he leaned over to kiss her.

  He pulled away and asked, “Why cinnamon?”

  “It confuses them and they can’t find the scent trail they leave behind. It’s safe around humans and dogs, and makes the house smell nice.” She gave him a smile as he pulled away further.

  “You are a brilliant woman, you know that?” The kiss he placed on her nose spoke of his own adoration.

  She gave him a pleased smile as her mother came out of the barn once more, the matador hat on her head, a green summery dress flowing around her knees.

  “Dad’s not going to know you when you get home, Mom!” Mary gave her mother an appreciative whistle as she sat across from them.

  “It’ll do him some good. Shake him up, get the juices flowing, you know?” The mantle of sophistication and worldliness disappeared as she spoke but Mary knew Lillian didn’t care. She was what she was and that’s all there was to it.

  “Your makeup looks nice. I stopped wearing it with this heat, it all just melted off of me anyway.” Mary waved at her green eyes, catching Ben’s attention. She had beautiful eyes after all.

  “Oh, I expect this will as well, but it’s nice to start the day out feeling pretty. We’ll all wilt in this heat but nobody will notice me looking like a clown because the other tourists all look exactly the same.” Lillian laughed and waved a goodbye as she stood to leave. The Vogelsangs were in the street, waiting for her. With a blown kiss she turned to leave by the front door.