You Must Remember This

by Clara Wimberly

  “Where’s the car?” Hagan asked. He hesitated at the door before going out into the pouring rain.

  “About a half mile,” Cord said. “You wait here…I’ll see if I can drive closer…”

  “No,” Hagan said, stepping out into the rain. “There’s no time.”

  Cord and Lacy stood inside the cabin for a brief sec- ond. They exchanged glances and Lacy placed her hands over her mouth to stifle her sobs. They watched helplessly as Hagan bent protectively, covering Sarah’s face from the rain with his head and hands as he stumbled down the steps and out into the darkness.

  “Is he crazy?” Lacy asked, her words breathless.

  “Yeah,” Cord said wearily. “I think maybe right now, he is.”

  Cord grabbed one of the blankets from the window. Then he and Lacy hurried out into the rain to catch up with Hagan.

  When they finally got to the car, Cord drove while Hagan sat in the front seat cradling Sarah against him. Cord’s gaze moved toward him time and again, but Hagan said nothing. He only sat holding her, rocking her. Sometimes whispering soft words against her hair.

  Lacy, sitting in the back seat, couldn’t seem to stop talking.

  “I’m so sorry,” she said, her voice choked with tears. “When I met Dan Brennan I had no idea who, or what, he was. When Sarah called tonight I tried to get away with- out letting him know what was going on. But he seemed to know anyway. He said he wanted to help…that he was familiar with the swamp. He said he could bring food and dry clothes to you before I ever found Cord. I…I thought he only wanted to help…because of me. God. Cord thinks he introduced himself to me just so he could find Sarah…and you.”

  “He was the man who killed Cindy,” Hagan said, his voice dead and lifeless.

  Lacy didn’t know the man who held her friend. And she could hardly believe that Sarah had kept this secret from her all this time. But she couldn’t deny the connection that existed between them, either. Not after watching his tor- tured face and seeing the tender way he held Sarah so gently against him.

  She thought she’d never seen such anguish on anyone’s face.

  “I didn’t know…please believe me,” she whispered before finally sinking back against the seat.

  At the emergency room, they had to practically pry Sarah from Hagan’s arms.

  “I’m going with her,” he said.

  “Sir…you’ll have to wait here,” the nurse said. Her gaze took in the group’s wet, bedraggled clothes and their mud-stained shoes.

  “Lady…” Hagan said through gritted teeth. “I intend going with her—”

  “Hagan,” Cord said quietly. He caught Hagan’s arm, feeling the tensed muscles and the way he jerked away from him.

  “Let them do their job. They all know Sarah. This is her hospital. They care about her and they want to help her. But you have to let her go.”

  Hagan closed his eyes and hugged Sarah against him, his eyes bleak and filled with pain. Then he took a deep breath of air.

  The nurse pushed the gurney closer beside him, looking at him now with a mixture of awe and curiosity.

  “Please…” the nurse said. “Just until we can decide what her injuries are. Then we’ll call you in. I promise,” she added, her professional voice growing soft with sym- pathy.

  Finally, gently, Hagan lay Sarah on the gurney. But he held her hand and walked with her to the large doors leading into the examining room. After she was gone, he stood there, shoulders slumped, clenching and unclench- ing his fists.

  “Hey,” Cord said, putting his hand on Hagan’s shoul- der. “Come and sit down. I’ll get us some coffee…”

  “I’ll get it,” Lacy said, hurrying toward the vending machines.

  When Lacy brought the steaming cups back, Hagan took his and glanced up at her. It was the first time he’d even really looked at her and for a moment reality struck him and he felt guilty.

  “Thanks,” he said, attempting a smile. “Sarah talked about you a lot.”

  Tears filled Lacy’s eyes and she sank into a chair beside Hagan.

  “I would die before I’d do anything to hurt her,” she whispered.

  “Hey…” Hagan sat his cup of coffee on a table and reached to put his arm around the young woman’s shoul- ders. “I know that. And Sarah knows it, too. You did your best,” he said, shaking her gently for emphasis. “It’s all we can do.”

  Lacy began to tell them everything that happened. Cord, who had already heard it, only nodded.

  “She still had no idea who Dan Brennan was until she found me,” Cord said.

  “I had an odd feeling about him, though. When he seemed so enthusiastic about helping find Sarah, it just gave me a real funny feeling,” Lacy said.

  “Brennan and Walsh had to walk to the fishing shack. If Lacy hadn’t found me so quickly and showed me the road into the swamp…” Cord shrugged and looked into Hagan’s troubled eyes. He’d never seen his partner this way and it worried him.

  Hagan nodded. “Thank you, Lacy,” he said, his voice quieter…calmer now.

  The nurse stepped out into the waiting room and looked toward them.

  Hagan stood up, holding his breath as he stared at her.

  “Are you…a relative?” she asked.

  Hagan frowned and hesitated a moment.

  “No,” he said. “Just a friend.”

  He wanted to be more. In that one brief moment, he knew he wanted to be much more than a friend. He’d known it all along.

  “Sarah’s awake—you can see her now.”

  Hagan let the air out of his lungs in one loud burst of relief. He didn’t even think to say anything to Cord and Lacy. He just headed toward the door where the nurse was pointing.

  She looked so small lying there in that narrow white bed. So fragile in the dim light with the machines bleeping softly behind her.

  She reached out her hand and Hagan thought it was the most wonderful moment in his life.

  He held on to her hand tightly, reaching out to brush the hair back from her pale face. There was a small white bandage above her eye.

  Hagan touched it gently.

  “Stitches?” he asked.

  She nodded, smiling tremulously. “I’m going to look like a scarecrow, but at least it’s on the same side as the other scar.”

  “I don’t care,” he whispered. He bent to kiss her pale lips. “I was afraid you’d been shot. As long as you’re all right, I don’t care what you look like.”

  “They think I have a mild concussion, too,” she said. “In the darkness I must have fallen against the table or something. But all I could think about was you and when I woke up and you weren’t here, I…” Sarah swallowed hard as a tear slid from the corner of her eye.

  Hagan murmured softly and wiped the tear away.

  “Don’t cry for me, darlin’,” he whispered. “I can’t stand to see you cry. Besides, don’t you know? I’m just like an old alley cat with nine lives.” He grinned down at her, for a moment his old mischievous self.

  Sarah laughed, then groaned as she reached up to touch her head.

  “Ouch,” she said.

  Hagan pulled a chair up beside the bed and, still hold- ing her hand, began to relate Lacy’s story to her.

  “Cord got the evidence he needed on Sheriff Metcalf, too,” he said. “He’s a secret member of the Satilla bunch. His job was to make sure they didn’t have any resistance from law enforcement when they transported their guns across the county.”

  “And to give them any information he knew about out- side agency activities,” she said.

  “Right.”

  “I knew it,” she whispered. “Somehow I always knew he was involved.”

  “Dan Brennan made a play for Lacy just so he could get to you,” Hagan said. “And to me.”

  “Poor Lacy,” Sarah said, her eyes wide with sympathy. “I feel so guilty for involving her in this. And you, Ha- gan,” she said. “God, you were almost killed because I insisted on calling her…”


  “Shh. That’s enough of that. It’s over.”

  “I need to talk to her. I know it’s killing her that she trusted someone like Dan Brennan. And that he used her.” She looked up at Hagan. “Is he dead?”

  “Yeah…so is Emmitt Walsh.”

  Hagan could see the concern in her eyes.

  Wasn’t it just like her to think more about her friend than she did herself? He guessed it was one of the reasons he loved her so much.

  The thought came so naturally to Hagan’s mind, but it stunned him nonetheless. He released Sarah’s hand and moved back in the chair, his mouth working soundlessly as he stared at her.

  “Hagan?” she asked, noting the look of mystery in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

  He laughed and rubbed his hand over his stubbly chin. Then he stood up.

  “Nothing’s wrong,” he said. “Actually, everything is pretty much right. For the first time in my life.” He bent to place a quick kiss on her lips.

  Sarah frowned. She didn’t understand what he meant, or why there was such an odd look of excitement in his eyes.

  “Where are you going?” she asked.

  “There’s something I have to do. You rest. I won’t be gone long.”

  By the time he returned a couple of hours later, Sarah had been placed in a private room. When he came in, she was sitting up in bed, eating breakfast. Lacy was there in the room with her.

  “Well,” he murmured approvingly. “I like this sight. Hello Lacy. How’s our patient?”

  Lacy smiled knowingly, her eyes taking in every inch of Hagan as he moved toward them.

  “She’s doing great,” she said. “The doctors say she can go home tomorrow.” Lacy touched Sarah’s arm and moved toward the door, passing Hagan with an openly curious look. “Well, I’ll leave you two alone…so you can talk.”

  Sarah pushed her tray aside, her eyes burning with cu- riosity as she watched Hagan approach. He had showered and shaved and was wearing new jeans and a shirt.

  He was leaving.

  As she fought the wrench of pain in her heart, she knew that he had come to tell her he was going back to Atlanta. He’d come to say goodbye.

  “I have something to tell you,” he said, coming to the bed.

  “I know,” she whispered.

  He sat in a chair beside her bed and reached for her hand. Holding her fingers between his hands, he pulled them against his mouth, gazing at her with a look that simply took Sarah’s breath away.

  Sarah didn’t want to cry. Didn’t want to throw herself at him and plead with him not to go. But that was exactly what her heart was urging her to do.

  “Say it,” she said. “Just go ahead and say it.”

  Hagan cocked his head to one side and looked at her curiously. He tightened his grip on her hand and sat up straighter in the chair.

  “In all my life, I’ve never met anyone like you, Sarah,” he said. “I grew up pretty much on my own. With no en- couragement, no kind words or expression of affection. And I told myself all this time that it didn’t matter. That I, Hagan Cantrell, could make it on my own, with no help from anyone else.”

  “And you have,” she said. “You’ve made a good life for yourself, Hagan. You should be proud.”

  “No,” he said, shaking his head. His smile was sweet and a little sad. “Substitutions were all I ever had. I never really knew what life was supposed to be like. Cord and Georgia showed me a part of it, but I was still an out- sider…still just an observer.” He laughed softly and shook his head. “God, why is this so hard?” he muttered.

  “Saying goodbye is always hard,” she offered, her voice soft with regret.

  “Goodbye? Oh, but, darlin’, this is not goodbye,” he said warmly. Then he frowned. “That’s not what you want, is it? Goodbye? Not that I could blame you if you never wanted to see me again after—”

  “No,” she said quickly. “Heavens, no. Of course I don’t want to say goodbye, but—”

  “Lord, you thought…?” Hagan stared hard at her. “You thought I was going to leave? Just like that? Pick up and go as if nothing ever happened between us?”

  “I—”

  “I came here to tell you that I lov…that I lov…” Ha- gan laughed softly and bent his head until his forehead touched hers.

  Sarah’s eyes grew wide with awe and joy as she finally realized what he was trying to say. Her hand crept up around his neck and she trailed little kisses across his face and breathed in the clean masculine scent of him.

  “Is it so hard to say?” she whispered against his ear.

  Hagan’s laughter was muffled against her skin before he pulled away and looked into her eyes.

  “It’s just that…I’ve never said these words to any- one,” he whispered.

  “Well, if you don’t say them pretty soon, I think I’m going to just explode,” she teased.

  He laughed, then grew serious.

  “I love you, Sarah James,” he whispered, his voice husky with emotion. “God, I’ve never loved anything as much as I love you.”

  “Oh, and I love you,” she whispered.

  His kiss was sweet and warm, filled with all the tumul- tuous emotions that had followed their entire relation- ship. Yet today, with all that had happened and the realization of all that could have happened, there was a reverence and a gentleness that he had never felt for any- one.

  He took her hands, leaning close.

  “I’ve resigned from the G.B.I.,” he said.

  “You’ve…? Oh, no…Hagan,” she protested. “You love your work. You’re so committed and intelligent… so good at what you do.”

  “I didn’t say I was getting out of law enforcement al- together,” he said. “You do realize there will be a sheriff’s vacancy coming up soon in Ware County, don’t you?”

  “Oh, my gosh,” she whispered, her eyes sparkling. “Hagan Cantrell, Sheriff of Ware County. It sounds good.” She frowned again. “But you aren’t doing this… quitting the agency…because of me?”

  “Partly,” he admitted. “I want to be with you every day, Sarah. Not just once a week or on weekends, or call- ing from someplace in God-knows-where, Georgia. When dark comes, there’s only one place I want to be—at home in bed with you.”

  “Oh…” Her eyes twinkled and her voice was one long sigh of pleasure.

  “But I want it for me, too,” he continued. “I’ve learned so much from you, Sarah. And I want different things than I wanted before.”

  “What things?” she asked with solemn awe.

  “A home. Not just a designer-decorated apartment in the best part of town. But a real home, like your grand- parents had. Land to pass on to my children and then their children. A place for them to grow up where everyone in town will come to their wedding.”

  Sarah’s lips were parted as she stared at him in disbe- lief.

  “I want you,” he said. “Because you’re real and car- ing…because I can talk to you about anything. And be- cause you have such compassion for other people. I love you.”

  She held her breath, staring at him with eyes swimming in tears.

  “Will you-?” he began.

  “Yes,” she whispered, reaching for him and stopping his words with a kiss. “Oh, yes.”

  Neither of them could seem to stop smiling. When a nurse stepped into the room, they pulled apart, grinning.

  “Oh,” she said. “I came in because we noticed a change in your heart rate and blood pressure on the monitor,” she said. “But I’d say that’s normal…under the circum- stances.”

  “Nancy,” Sarah said. “I’m engaged.” Then she grinned at Hagan. “I am, aren’t I?”

  “You are,” he said. “But not for long. We’re getting married as soon as you get out of this place.”

  “Sarah, that’s wonderful,” the nurse said. “Here, I’m going to just unplug the heart and BP monitor. You don’t need it anymore anyway. It would be kind of like voyeur- ism to keep watching, wouldn’t it?”

  They all laughed
and when the nurse left, Hagan reached into his pocket.

  “The strangest thing happened,” he said. “When I went to buy the ring, I knew I could afford practically anything I wanted. But then I realized, looking at all those huge, ostentatious stones, that none of them would be what you wanted.”

  He slipped the ring onto her finger as she gazed up at him. It was a small cluster ring of diamonds and brilliant blue aquamarine.

  “I thought they matched your eyes,” he said.

  “It’s beautiful,” she whispered. “Oh, Hagan I love it. And I love you.”

  Hagan climbed onto the bed with her, wrapped his arms around her and held her quietly for a moment.

  “By the way, you might be interested to know that when I went back to your house to shower and change, Tom was back.”

  Sarah turned to look at him, her face glowing with life and love.

  “He was? Oh…I was afraid this time he was gone for good.”

  “Darlin’, old Tom knows a good thing when he sees it,” he whispered. “He’s not about to leave you…not ever. He’s too much like me, remember? He did, however, bring a lady friend with him and they seemed quite cozy there on the front porch. I have a feeling Tom will be the one to contribute to our family first.”

  Sarah laughed and clapped her hands, then sat up in bed.

  “You know what?” she said. “I think I’m ready to go home. I want to meet this lady friend of Tom’s.”

  “Jealous?” he teased.

  “No,” she whispered against his lips. “Happy. Hap- pier than I’ve ever been. I just can’t wait to get started on our new life.”

  “Neither can I, darlin’. Neither can I.”

  * * * * *

  eISBN 978-14592-7943-8

  YOU MUST REMEMBER THIS

  Copyright © 1996 by Clara Wimberly

  All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office. Silhouette Books, 300 East 42nd Street, New York, NY 10017 U.S.A.