Outsider

by Klaire de Lys

  Pulling the blanket back over Astrid, Dag rocked her gently for a few moments before finally attempting to lay her gently back down on the ground. She awoke instantly, her eyes wide, her arms wrapping around his neck in a panic.

  ‘Teach me to fight!’ she said, her eyes closing. ‘Teach me to fight.’ Her voice trailed off into sleep again and Dag raised his head to the sky.

  ‘What am I going to do?’ he whispered, a sudden dread overwhelming him. ‘What on Ammasteinn am I going to do?’

  * * *

  Dag sighed with relief as he saw his small cabin come into view. Astrid looked up to see what had made him start, her feet so numb she could barely feel them, but she did her best to hide the limp that had been bothering her for the past few days.

  Dag had often told her about his cabin; he had even used his magic to paint an image of it in the air. But to see it was quite a different thing.

  Built between four tall oak trees, the cabin was made of large pine logs laid over each other to create thick, wooden walls, the gaps between them filled with a reddish clay. The two large chimneys built at either end of the cabin appeared to be the only parts of the building that were not made of wood. The roof was carpeted with a layer of lush, green grass and an ivy plant climbed up the four trees that the cabin was built around, spreading over parts of it. Tendrils cascaded over the porch like a curtain and Dag swept it aside, tying it to one of the posts that held up the porch roof. A flurry of butterflies fluttered away from it and Dag looked back at Astrid for a moment in the hope that the sight of them may have made her smile. She loved butterflies; Sylbil and Arnbjörg had forever been telling her off for trying to catch them each time Dag had visited.

  Astrid flinched as they swarmed around her, and she raised her hand and roughly brushed one away as it settled on her head.

  ‘Come in goldheart. I’ll show you your room.’ Dag smiled, holding his hand out to her, and Astrid reluctantly took it and followed him inside.

  Dag sat her down at a small table in the corner next to the only window in the cabin, which stretched across almost the entire wall. Each tiny glass pane between the leading was a slightly different colour and sent a cascade of rainbow beams across the floor and the walls.

  A floor to ceiling bookcase took up one wall at the far end of the cabin and a large oak table stretched from one side of the room to the other, strewn with inks and manuscripts.

  ‘Where would you like your room, goldheart?’ Dag asked. ‘You can have it anywhere you want!’

  Astrid took a few moments to look around. She felt dazed, like her mind was about to float away from her body. Dag’s forced cheerfulness made her nervous, like there was nothing to worry about, like her parents were not dead. Though she wouldn’t tell him, part of her wished he would just show how sad he was, even wail and cry if he wanted to. At least that way she could stop feeling like she was walking through some kind of horrible dream.

  Looking up, Astrid saw an old bird’s nest - a swallows mud nest - built in the corner of the roof at the far side of the room.

  ‘Up there,’ she whispered, pointing. ‘I would like my room up there.’

  ‘Ok, just give me one minute,’ Dag said.

  Stepping forward, he clapped his hands together making Astrid jump at the sound. The cabin shook as if a burst of thunder had ripped through the building. Dag slowly separated his hands and as the oak floorboards and the rafters at the far end of the room shuddered, his fingers glowed an electric blue.

  Despite how she was feeling, Astrid couldn’t hide her amazement as two long sprouts burst from the ground, twirling in spirals until they wrapped securely around one of the rafters. Branches grew from it, twisting together, to create stairs leading upwards.

  Up on the rafters, several more branches emerged like threads, weaving together so tightly they created floor boards, the surface texture knotted. The branches at the edge of the rafters climbed up and connected to the ceiling, this time winding together to create a beautiful screen of woven patterns, which loosened as they reached it.

  Dag Picked Astrid up in his arms and carried her up the stairs and into the new room, setting her down on the floor. He pulled the blanket from her shoulders and folded it carefully.

  ‘I’ll make you a mattress tonight. I’ll make some new clothes too! Ragi makes some beautiful green silk; I’ll get him to give me some and I’ll sew you a pretty dress.’

  ‘Ragi?’

  ‘He’s my friend. He’s a hobgoblin.’

  Nodding, Astrid stared around her. She reached over and took the blanket back from Dag and pulled it around her, hugging her knees to her chest.

  ‘Do you want some food?’ Dag asked, unsure of what to do next. Astrid nodded and Dag nearly fell down the stairs in his rush to get to the fireplace.

  There were two in the cabin, one of which had a roasting spit spread across it. Old wooden cupboards were built into the wall beside it, crammed with glass and clay jars containing various nuts, flours, and oils. Dag pulled a few of them from the shelf and mixed their contents in a large clay bowl.

  Up in her new room, Astrid studied her surroundings. Everything about the new place made her feel displaced. The smell, the feel, everything was alien to her, the smell being the thing that scared her the most. Her old home had the aroma of wood shavings, wax and a roaring fire. It smelt warm and safe. This place was new; it smelt of moss, mold and plants. There was nothing remotely familiar about it.

  Overwhelmed by the feeling of abandonment, Astrid rolled onto her side on the ground and pulled the blanket over her head like a tent. She pressed it against her nose and inhaled the familiar smell, closing herself up under it, in the old, safe world it reminded her of.

  Worried by the lack of noise coming from her room, Dag covered the pot of meat bubbling over the flames and headed back upstairs.

  ‘Astrid?’

  Curled up like a squirrel in hibernation, her blanket wrapped around her and only her nose and eyes exposed, Astrid was fast asleep. For the first time in days she looked at peace.

  Dag pulled out two fresh blankets from one of the cupboards lining the wall opposite the window, walked back up to Astrid and tucked one of them underneath her head like a pillow. The second blanket he placed over her and he stroked her head fondly before leaving her be.

  * * *

  Dag watched as Astrid dug her fork into the rabbit pie, raised it to her mouth and began to eat, the overcooked crust cracking loudly against her teeth.

  ‘Do you like it, goldheart?’ he asked nervously.

  Doing her best to hide her disgust, Astrid nodded, even managing a smile. The look of contentment on Dag’s face was almost worth eating the revolting food for.

  ‘Do you want some more?’ he asked excitedly, and moved to scrape some more of the pie onto her plate. Astrid quickly shook her head.

  ‘No thank you. I’m not very hungry,’ she lied.

  ‘But you’ve barely eaten anything!’

  ‘I’m fine,’ she said, finishing up the last of the pie as slowly as she could. Her stomach growled for more but she ignored it.

  For the next few minutes Dag ate in silence and Astrid did her best to keep her eyes fixed on her plate, not wanting him to have any reason to try and talk to her. The last few days had been a relentless monologue of conversation and Astrid felt like she might start screaming if she heard so much as one more word come from his mouth.

  More than anything else, Astrid wanted peace and quiet. But Dag, meaning well, had given her the opposite. He had talked to her constantly whilst she had helped him make the furniture for her room, but he had avoided the only topic Astrid cared about. Any mention or even a reference to her parents’ existence had been brushed away; forgotten. It was just another constant reminder that they were gone.

  ‘Is it alright if I take a walk outside?’ Astrid asked, pushing her plate away.

  ‘Of course, goldheart!’ Dag said. ‘Just let me get my cloak.’

  ‘No! No...ca
n I just go by myself?’

  ‘Oh...ok...yes. Of course you can,’ he said hesitantly. ‘But don’t go far.’

  Astrid left the table and strolled out of the cabin, eyeing Felix distrustfully as she passed him. Spotting a gap in the hedge to her right, she headed towards it, breathing a loud sigh of relief as soon as the house was out of sight. What soon followed was a flurry of tears, the bottled up sadness and frustration from the last few days hitting her like a wave. The clouds above her rumbled threateningly, and the first few drops of rain began to fall, mixing with the tears on her cheeks.

  Glancing at her reflection in a puddle, Astrid stopped and knelt down next to it. She moved her fingers to her mouth and touched the deep scab across her lips, shocked at her appearance.

  Moving her fingernails to the edge of the scab, Astrid began to pick at it. She winced, but felt a strange sense of relief, the pain distracting her from the horrible hollowness she felt inside. She peeled the scab on her upper lip away until she felt the warm, metallic blood in her mouth, then reached to the scab on her lower lip and began to pick away at that.

  ‘What are you doing?’

  Astrid yelped in shock and turned to face the tall thin figure who had crept up behind her. Her hands glowed blue as she held them up in front of her defensively.

  Even though she had never seen a goblin before, she knew almost instantly what the creature in front of her was. Its skin was pale but with a distinct green undertone and it was shorter than Dag but much taller than her. Its nose was flat and the tip of it connected to its upper lip. Two sharp front teeth protruded from beneath it, the ends as sharp as needles. Its huge green eyes stared at her in shock and it raised his hands towards her, the long, slender fingers looking almost like spider’s legs, they were so thin and gangly.

  ‘What are you doing?’ the goblin repeated, this time more gently. Crouching down onto its knees, it eyed her worriedly. Astrid was surprised to hear the kindness in its voice.

  ‘Who are you?’ she finally asked, noticing how the goblin’s long, pointed ears flinched like a cat’s in the rain.

  ‘Ragi. And you are?’

  ‘Astrid.’

  ‘Astrid...Dagmar’s goddaughter?’ Ragi asked surprised.

  Nodding, Astrid lowered her hands and the blue glow faded. This must be the hobgoblin Dag told me about she thought.

  For a moment they just looked at each other curiously as the rain became heavier, the drizzle turning to a downpour.

  ‘Listen, I don’t like rain and I don’t think you do either. My hut is near here. You can come inside if you’d like.’

  At first Astrid didn’t move. After her last encounter with strangers, she was more than a little nervous. But something about the goblin made her feel sure that he didn’t mean her any harm, even though his appearance suggested otherwise. Perhaps it was his eyes, the large eyes that held just as much fear of her as she had of him. It was much like how she imagined a spider would look at someone who was about to squash it.

  Astrid stood up and slowly followed the goblin, keeping a safe distance away from him. Before long, she spotted a round hut ahead of them with smoke billowing from a small metal chimney in the centre of the roof. A large tarp of animal skins shielded the entrance from the rain and the door itself was made of two more skins that overlapped and hung across the door.

  Ragi pushed one of the skins aside and stepped through, but seconds later his head emerged between the flaps.

  ‘Want to stay out here?’ he asked.

  Astrid sat down in front of the door and nodded.

  Ragi’s head disappeared again and she heard him cluttering around inside the hut. Her curiosity goaded her to follow him, but her common sense prevailed.

  Astrid was surprised to see how orderly the forest around the hut was. From the stories her parents had told her of goblins, she had expected to see everything broken and in disarray, but everything - the washing basin, the log hut and the outdoor fire - were all meticulously maintained. The walls of the hut were made of neat tiles of tree bark, measured and cut to perfectly match the triangular tiles beside them, and overlapping each other like scales. Not so much as a single tile was out of place or different to the one beside it.

  Ragi appeared and sat down a few feet away from her, placing a bowlful of food in front of her. Astrid peered down at the selection of nuts, dried and fresh fruits and some bread, and quickly moved her hand to her stomach to try and hide the loud rumble her insides made. After four days of Dag’s food, she was desperate to eat something that didn’t crumble to ash in her mouth, or that didn’t have the texture of slime.

  Leaning forwards, Ragi took hold of one of the apples, raised it to his mouth and took a large bite, his eyes fixed on Astrid as if to say: ‘see...it’s safe to eat!’

  Barely able to stop herself from cramming everything she could into her mouth, Astrid grabbed a handful of nuts and began chewing them furiously, almost swallowing them whole and grunting happily at the taste of them. She moved onto the dried apples and shoved as many slices as she could into her mouth. Ragi took a few more pieces of food from the basket and ate slowly, his long fingers picking at the food in his palm before eating it whilst he observed her with interest.

  ‘You should slow down. You’ll be sick,’ Ragi said worriedly. He pulled the bowl away from her until she had finished chewing, only giving it back to her when she had taken a few seconds to swallow what was in her mouth.

  ‘You’ve been eating Dagmar’s cooking, haven’t you?’ He grinned, the shape of his mouth making it look more like a snarl, but his eyes lit up the way any elf’s or dwarf’s would when they smiled.

  Nodding, Astrid took another handful of food, this time taking her time with each mouthful. When she hiccupped loudly, Ragi laughed.

  ‘Told you! You should have a drink, it will help stop the air bubbles,’ he said, pointing to a nearby well.

  ‘I’ll wait,’ Astrid replied, not wanting to go out in the rain.

  ‘How long have you been with Dagmar?’

  ‘A few days,’ Astrid replied, focusing only on satisfying her need to fill her stomach and completely forgetting that she had not intended to talk to the goblin.

  ‘You must be starving! The man can’t cook!’ Ragi cackled. He pushed the bowl of fruit closer towards her. ‘Take it, you need it more than I do!’

  Astrid was so busy eating that she didn’t even notice Dag’s voice in the distance calling for her. Ragi heard him and looked over at the forest, his long pointed ears turning outwards and quivering at the sound.

  ‘You should go,’ he said kindly. He stood up and walked into the hut, then returned a moment later with a large leather pouch. He swept the food from the bowl into it and passed it to her. ‘Take this, it should last you a day or two. When you can’t take his food anymore I have plenty more here.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Astrid said, surprised. She reached for the bag and flinched as her hand touched his accidently, his skin much like the texture of a toad; lumpy and clammy.

  Astrid strode through the forest towards the sound of Dag’s voice and hid the bag of food underneath her tunic. The rain, heavier now, started to seep through it.

  Reaching Dag’s cabin, Astrid saw him on the far side of the glade, his face twisted in panic as he ran his hands through his long, white hair. Hearing the snap of twigs as Astrid stepped into the clearing, he turned and raced towards her.

  ‘Goldheart! Where did you go?’ he asked, his ice blue eyes darting around wildly.

  ‘I just went for a walk,’ Astrid replied, surprised at how alarmed the old warlock was. Her hand pressed over her side to hide the bulging bag of food Ragi had given her.

  ‘Ok..ok...just, just let me know next time you want to wander off.’

  ‘I met your friend.’

  ‘Friend?’

  ‘Ragi. The goblin.’

  ‘Oh Ragi, yes...Ragi...he’s a hobgoblin,’ Dag clarified, stepping back and running his hands through his hair again as
he tried to calm himself. ‘Come inside, goldheart. You’re soaking wet!’

  Following Dag inside, Astrid felt the cord around the bag of food come loose. A few of the dried fruits dropped out and slid down the inside of her tunic, dangerously close to spilling out onto the floor. Hurtling past Dag, she ran up the stairs to her room in the rafters, reaching it just as the fruit clattered onto the boards. She lifted up the straw mattress Dag had made for her and tucked the pouch of food underneath it, then crawled over to the food which had fallen and scooped it into her hands just as Dag walked up the stairs, his old eyes worried.

  ‘Goldheart? What’s wrong?’

  ‘Nothing!’

  ‘Don’t lie Astrid, please don’t lie!’ Dag begged, tears suddenly filling his eyes. ‘I know I’m not doing very well, but you need to talk! Tell me what I’m doing wrong!’

  Out of nowhere, Astrid felt a lump jump into her throat and unable to stop herself, she burst into tears. She wasn’t entirely sure what specifically she was crying about, but knew she needed to satisfy this overwhelming urge.

  She was tired of the dodging around every mention of her parents. The pain in her chest had built up each day until it just felt like everything inside her had been hollowed out, leaving a gaping burning hole inside that only crying could relive.

  Astrid buried her head into Dag’s robes, and the old warlock cried with her for several minutes. The rain pattered down on the roof like thousands of small stones falling from the sky, then cascaded like waterfalls and splattered down on the ground. There was a faint sound of thunder in the distance.

  ‘I’m scared, Dag,’ Astrid sobbed, her voice almost lost against the rainfall.

  ‘Me too, goldheart,’ Dag whispered back, fondly stroking her head. ‘Me too.’

  The Knot

  Jarl’s spirits lifted as he finally saw the gates of Einn in the distance.

  Worried by the silence of the forest, Halvard walked gradually backwards, facing it, as Jarl and Knud ran towards the city wall. Several guards hollered as they approached, and spotting the tip of an arrow glinting in the fast approaching sunset, Jarl grabbed hold of Knud and stepped in front of him, raising his hands in the air in peace. A crow cawed noisily behind them in the forest and Halvard raised his axe, his eyes scanning the trees.