Outsider

by Klaire de Lys

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Just wait for Dag to come looking for us.’

  ‘That could be hours!’ Astrid replied, panicking. She took a deep breath and tried to free herself, shuffling uncomfortably on the floor.

  ‘Stay still!’

  Astrid ignored him and pulled herself out from under the pine branch, her left leg sending a flash of vision-blurring pain with each of her movements. She pushed through it, dragged herself out and turned on her side. The light wicker roof of the hut had fallen between her and Ragi, and she crawled forward and pushed it aside.

  Seeing her face come into view, Ragi didn’t need to ask what she saw. Her expression told him everything he needed to know.

  ‘Go get Dag, goldheart,’ Ragi whispered. ‘He can help,’ he lied, starting to feel the cold sensation from his stomach spreading upwards along his spine. ‘Astrid! Get Dag!

  ‘No, no I have to get you out!’ she said, moving towards the branch impaling Ragi through his gut.

  ‘Don’t touch me!’ Ragi yelled, his eyes wide, his pupils so thin Astrid could barely see them. ‘Astrid...you can’t do anything.’ A strange feeling spread from his spine towards his head.

  Reaching for his hand, Astrid closed her eyes, a terrible pain bursting from her stomach the minute she did so.

  ‘Astrid, stop! You can’t mend this! Go find Dag!’

  ‘No! You’re just saying that so I won’t be here!’ Astrid screamed, trying to take his hand again, but Ragi pulled it away.

  ‘Yes I am, goldheart. You don’t need to see this!’

  ‘I’m not going!’ she said, crawling up next to him. She took his hand and Ragi, getting weaker by the second, gave in and let her hold it. His skin was turning grey and pasty.

  ‘Astrid, please don’t stay here,’ he whispered. ‘Dag would let you hide away till the day you die. Don’t let him. Leave!’

  ‘But you said you’d go with me!’ Astrid sobbed, her lips trembling. ‘I don’t want to be alone!’

  ‘I’m afraid you’re going to have to get used to it for a while, goldheart!’ Ragi chuckled, the chuckle turning into a cough. The inside of his mouth was speckled with flecks of blood. ‘But it won’t always be lonely, the Outlands are full of people. You’ll find new friends.’

  Seeing his pupils starting to dilate, Astrid reached for his face and pressed both her hands on either side of it, screaming from the pain as she tried to absorb as much of Ragi’s as she could, refusing to allow him to die.

  ‘No! No you stay with me!’ she shouted. Ragi opened and closed his mouth, trying to say her name, but the blood caught in his throat making a horrible gargling sound.

  ‘Ragi! Ragi!’ Astrid shrieked, her hands glowing bright blue and her fingertips reddening. The skin dried and cracked under the pressure of trying to hold death back and her stomach felt as if she had a red hot poker burning its way through it.

  ‘Astrid!’ Ragi gargled, reaching up and weakly pulling her hands away from his face. ‘Leave!’

  Slowly, with her hands shaking, the glow around her fingers faded. Astrid moved Ragi’s head into her lap and she stroked his face gently. He closed his eyes as his face relaxed, his breathing weakening, until he finally let out one long, pained breath. Everything went still.

  ‘Sleep and be happy, the moon is awake.

  There’s light in the darkness.

  Smile dear, you’re safe.’

  Helpless

  Knud was freezing, the damp having gotten into his bones. He pulled his cloak tighter around him and rested his head on his knees.

  ‘Knud! Here, eat this. It’ll help keep you warm,’ Jarl said, passing him something which looked like a compressed piece of bread. Knud took it from him and bit a small piece, his hands shaking.

  They had finally reached the forest edge but the dampness seemed to only have intensified as soon as they reached it, trapped under the trees’ thick canopy. Their clothes felt heavy on their backs and they had stopped for a moment in a hollow to rest. Knud looked like he was about to collapse at any moment, exhausted.

  Seeing him shaking, Astrid pulled off her wolf-skin cloak and placed it over his shoulders. Knud flashed her a grateful smile and pulled it as tightly around him as he could, tucking his feet and head under it so he looked like a big ball of fur.

  ‘Thank you,’ Jarl said, his breath turning to mist in the cold night air.

  ‘He needed it,’ Astrid replied, a small smile on her lips. Turning her head, her eyes warily scanned the forest around them. It was too silent. Silent was never good.

  Goblins could be stealthy when they wanted, creeping up on their prey like a mist, preferring fast and sudden attacks. They would rush in, kill as many as they could, and then leave before they suffered too many casualties. It was a brilliant strategy for the goblins but it made life very difficult for anyone who wanted to try and travel through the pass, having to stay alert and ready at all times. It was exhausting both mentally and physically.

  ‘We should leave soon. I know Knud’s tired, but I can carry him. The house I mentioned is about a mile from here. We can stay there for a few days if we need to,’ Astrid said quietly.

  ‘What is this place?’ Jarl asked.

  ‘An old friend used to live there,’ Astrid said flatly, implying that was all she wanted to say on the matter. Jarl took the hint.

  ‘Can he rest for a bit longer? Then we can go,’ Jarl said. Astrid nodded, hearing the faint snores from within her cloak.

  Jarl sat down next to him, moved his arm over him and pulled him close to keep him warm. Knud snored more loudly and Astrid grinned at how comical he looked.

  Suddenly she felt her ears tingling and heard the sound of light scuffling in the undergrowth a few feet away from them. Turning to face the sound, she pulled her dagger from her boot and held her hammer axe in her other hand. With her knees bent, she was ready to attack. Jarl heard her draw her dagger and looked up, his own hand moving to his weapon.

  For a few seconds there was silence. Jarl pulled Knud to his feet, waking him, and stood in front of him protectively.

  ‘Run!’ Astrid whispered.

  He didn’t need to be told twice. Jarl practically dragged Knud along behind him as they ran, the young dwarf struggling to keep up with them, his tired feet catching on the many tangled roots that covered the ground. He tripped and stumbled clumsily forward, doing his best to keep up, but failed miserably. When he fell for the second time, slowing them down once again, Astrid ordered him to climb onto her back. Knud did as she’d asked and Astrid ran ahead again as if Knud weighed nothing at all.

  ‘It’s not far,’ Astrid said under her breath to Knud who was holding onto her so tightly he was almost strangling her.

  Glancing around her as they ran, Astrid tried desperately to recognise her surroundings, so much of the forest having changed since she last travelled through it. She sighed with relief when she saw an old twisted tree ahead of them, the relief turning to horror as she saw a goblin drawing his bow from the corner of her eye.

  Smirking, the goblin released the arrow and Jarl stared in horror, time seeming to slow down as it shot towards Knud.

  ‘KNUD!’

  Not even having to think, Astrid turned to face it. Jarl bellowed in shock as she reached out fast enough to grab it. The arrow head cut through the skin between her thumb and index finger, her grip temporarily slowing the arrow down, but not enough to stop it piercing her shoulder. Astrid grimaced in pain.

  For a few seconds nobody moved. The goblin stared in disbelief and Astrid looked up, their eyes meeting for a moment. She had yellow eyes like Ragi’s and her hair was pulled back into tight braids with several silver tribal bracelets wound into it.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Astrid whispered under her breath, and with one fluid movement, Astrid turned the arrow in her hand to her bow and shot it back, shooting the she-goblin straight in the forehead.

  ‘Come on!’ Astrid shouted, racing ahead. She reached the oak, whispered something u
nder her breath and a door appeared in front of her. She threw it open and Knud scrambled down from her back and ran inside. Jarl sprinted past her and into the tunnel and flashed Astrid a worried look as he passed her. Blood gushed from the torn skin on her hand and the superficial wound on her shoulder. Astrid closed the door as soon as they were all inside.

  ‘Where are we?’ Knud asked, reaching out in the darkness. Everything was pitch black.

  ‘We’re safe,’ Astrid panted back, her heart pounding as she heard goblins shrieking outside and the sound of multiple pairs of feet scrambling over the tree above them.

  ‘Can they find their way in?’ Jarl said worriedly, his deep voice echoing in the tunnel.

  ‘No. This place is protected with magic. They’d kill themselves if they tried to get in uninvited,’ Astrid said.

  ‘How did we get in then?’Knud asked.

  ‘I know the password,’ Astrid replied, as if it was obvious. Jarl could tell from her tone of voice that she was smiling. ‘I just don’t want them to know we’re here or they’ll try and starve us out.’

  Of course they will! Just like they’re trying to do with Bjargtre, Jarl thought.

  They all turned and stared as a faint light began to glow at the end of the tunnel. Astrid walked towards it and the others followed until they reached a large room that looked as if it had been hollowed out by hand. Roots covered the walls and a few of them had started to make their way across the floor. Astrid snapped a few that had grown across a cupboard in the wall.

  Everything smelt musty and old. Hundreds of faces were painted onto the wall behind the tree roots, and faded eyes stared out at Jarl. Something about them made him feel distinctly uncomfortable.

  Astrid opened the cupboard door, the old, rusty hinges making it creak. ‘Food?’ she asked, pulling out a few sealed jars. She sat down on the floor and grabbed a handful of nuts from one of them before passing it to Knud, ignoring the fact that her hand was still bleeding.

  Knud scooped out a handful of nuts and ate them as quickly as he could.

  Jarl put down his bag and hammer axe and knelt down next to Astrid. Taking her injured hand in his, he turned it over gently to look at it. Astrid flinched but didn’t pull away.

  ‘We need to clean this,’ Jarl said quietly. ‘The arrowhead was probably poisoned.’

  ‘It wasn’t,’ Astrid replied, trying to stop herself from shaking but her body refusing to do as it was told. She pulled her cloak tighter around herself, trying to pretend that it was the damp that was making her shiver. ‘Besides, Dip venom doesn’t hurt me anymore.’

  ‘Anymore?’ Knud asked, sensing another story about Astrid’s adventures coming up.

  ‘If you drink it in small doses you become immune to the poison. A little like hemlock,’ Astrid said, moving to pull her hand way but Jarl not letting her. ‘It’s a slightly painful process but it’s worth it.’ She turned to Jarl. ‘Don’t worry about it. It’ll scab soon.’

  ‘It’ll scar if you leave it.’

  ‘It will be a good scar,’ Astrid said, slowly pulling her hand out of his, her fingers tingling where his skin had come in contact with hers. She suddenly felt stupidly light headed and her stomach was in knots. She lifted her hand to her mouth and sucked away the blood.

  Jarl reached into his bag and pulled out a tunic, then ripped a piece into a thin bandage.

  ‘Jarl, I’m fine, really,’ Astrid protested.

  ‘No! You just saved Knud’s life. Again! You’re going to let me bandage that hand!’ Jarl said firmly, taking her hand in his again. This time she didn’t flinch but set her jaw tightly, trying not to wince as Jarl pressed the bandage over it to stop the surprising amount of blood flow.

  With her hand in his, he noticed just how strong she was. Her fingers, though long and elf like, were coarse and tough, the skin of her palm as weathered as his, though slightly softer.

  The bleeding finally slowed and Jarl wrapped the bandage firmly, being as gentle as he could. Taking advantage of the moment, his eyes ran over the beautiful ink pattern of her tattoos. Stemming up from her nail bed, the white thorn patterns twisted over her hand as organically as if it were a real rose bush, the thorns circling the bottom of her index finger more tightly than on her other fingers. A beautiful large black rose stretched from the gap between her thumb and index finger and reached her wrist, the arrow injury almost having cut through the skin the tattoo was inked on.

  ‘There!’ Jarl said, tucking the end of the bandage in and letting go of her hand. ‘See? It didn’t hurt that much.’ He smiled, looking oddly nervous, his smile wavering.

  ‘Thank you,’ Astrid whispered, looking down at her hand and flexing her fingers, the bandage holding fast. She nodded her head to the hallway. ‘Nobody can get in through that so you won’t need to keep watch.’ She dragged her bag next to her to use as a pillow so she could sleep half sitting up, then pulled her wolf-hood over her head and closed her eyes.

  Jarl hovered by the door. He trusted what Astrid had told him but knew he would not be able to sleep well knowing nobody was on watch. He pulled his cloak around him and held his hammer axe in his hand, staring down the hallway with his head resting against the wall behind him. Knud, having fallen asleep a few moments ago snored gently, and when he turned to look at him, he found himself looking at Astrid instead. She was curled up like a cat, her hood pulled so far down over her face that only her lips were visible.

  I wonder what Holmvé would think of her? he thought, smiling as he imagined her reaction. The scars on her face would shock Holmvé at first, but he had no doubt that as soon as she spoke to her, the old dwarf would adore Astrid and admire her bravery.

  Astrid would hate Bjargtre! And people like Áfastr Gull would hate her! Clenching his fists, Jarl turned away from Astrid and glared back down the passageway. Áfastr would be brutal, of that he was sure. In fact there were very few dwarves in Bjargtre who he could think of who would treat Astrid with anything other than contempt. They would shun her publicly, make snide remarks behind her back, which she would undoubtedly hear perfectly. Just the thought of it made him angry.

  She deserves better! She should be loved by her people! He suddenly felt horribly empty at the thought that once they reached the outskirts of Lǫgberg, she would leave them. Leave him.

  Ask her to come back with you! the small voice in his head suggested. If she covers her ears and if you find dwarf clothes for her, nobody will know she’s a half dwarf!

  Slowly. the beginnings of an idea began to form at the back of his mind. Looking back over at Astrid, his eyes gleamed. She would get to see a dwarf city! Her people! And he would get a few more months to travel with her.

  * * *

  She was sitting in the kitchen again, and Sylbil and Arnbjörg were humming together as they worked on the thatching on the roof. Looking down at her fingers, Astrid saw her tattoos were gone. She reached up to her lips and felt for the scar, smiling as she felt that it was gone too. It was a dream, she knew that, but it was a good dream. She was inside the house. Her dreams were always good when she was inside the house. So long as she stayed inside, bad things wouldn’t happen. For a moment she considered going up to the top rooms and her heart leapt at the thought of seeing their faces again.

  But she decided against it. Their faces would be foggy like they always were, or worse, their faces would morph into the faces of other people like last time when Arnbjörg’s face had morphed into Skad’s. It was better if she just waited down here. Maybe if they came down she would be able to see them.

  ‘Astrid!’

  Turning around, Astrid saw Ragi, and the still mildly conscious part of her brain told her something was wrong. Ragi never appeared in her dreams here. When she dreamt of the Red Mountains, yes, but her dreams of the Aldwood had never included him.

  ‘Ragi? What are you doing?’

  ‘Still running wild child?’ Ragi asked, climbing up into the rafters and smiling down at her with a thistle and a jasmine in hi
s hand. He pulled the petals from the jasmine and dropped them over her. They floated down like feathers.

  ‘Running?’

  ‘You’re afraid! So you’re running!’

  ‘No, I’m taking Knud and Jarl to Lǫgberg.’ Astrid smiled, trying to climb up into the rafters so she could sit down beside him. Ragi disappeared in a puff of smoke and his voice echoed through the air as he hummed the song she had sung the day he had died: There’s light in the darkness. Smile dear, you’re safe.

  Suddenly, she felt someone holding her hand and she looked down to see Jarl next to her, taking her bandaged hand and wrapping it some more. He was smiling, humming as he wrapped it around and around. Astrid turned to face him, a strange feeling in her chest, like her heart had grown hundreds of wings and was fluttering around inside her, leaping each time he looked up at her with his sky blue eyes.

  ‘Why do you flinch when people touch you?’ Knud asked behind her, and Astrid turned to look at him.

  It’s just a dream! You can say anything in a dream!

  ‘I’m frightened they’ll hurt me!’ Astrid said.

  Knud watched as Jarl continued to wrap the bandage and Astrid suddenly realised that she was running her fingertips along Jarl’s hand as he held hers.

  Why are you doing that? Stop that!

  ‘Why don’t you mind us seeing your face?’ Knud asked. Astrid looked at him, her mind ordering her to pull her hand away from Jarl but her hand refusing. It felt as if it was made of lead and not attached to her body.

  ‘You don’t mind my face, nor does Jarl,’ Astrid said. ‘I covered it because I didn’t want Skad or Halvard to see it. It made them stare. I hate people staring at me!’

  ‘Why doesn’t Jarl mind?’ Knud asked, and Astrid thought it was strange that he was asking her but not questioning it. It was a dream after all.

  ‘I don’t know! He’s always been kind to me.’ Astrid smiled.

  Suddenly, Jarl moved his hand and rested it against the side of her face. Astrid felt her heart jumping up into her throat and she was unable to look away from his deep blue eyes that were fixed on hers. He stood up and stood in front of her. Astrid remained seated on the chair, staring up at him as his face slowly lowered towards her, his lips moving in to kiss her...