Undesired Lust

by Eden Summers

  “Open the gate, Mason. We’re here.”

  He disconnected the call and swung to face Sidney, but she was gone. Running after Sean. Again. He walked to the security panel, noticing the additional cars parked down the usually empty street and the reporters huddled around his driveway. Leeches, every single one of them. He buzzed to let his mom in and waited until her shiny SUV and his sister’s tiny hatchback were onto the property before pressing the button again.

  The sound of Sidney’s voice carrying down the empty hall set his nerves on edge. He followed the gentle noise, and found her standing at the open front door, mumbling something unintelligible to a frowning Sean.

  “Sweetheart, you can’t leave,” Sean soothed. “And I don’t want you out in that pool house until the police are finished looking around.”

  Mason stalked to her side, standing possessively close, shoulder to shoulder. “You’re not going anywhere.” Something had changed in the last five minutes, and he didn’t know what. The woman who’d been snuggled into his chest minutes ago was now darting her gaze around the yard, searching for an exit strategy.

  She raised her brow in defiance. “I—”

  “Save the sarcastic retort, wildcat.” She changed so quickly, from the vulnerable woman with her heart on her sleeve, to the clawing little tigress who turned him on. “You’ll need to show the police the messages. And my mom’s already here, she’s going to want to catch up with you.”

  Her face paled and the fear in her eyes demanded he comfort her. He reached out a hand, pausing when she stiffened. “Why are you scared?”

  “I—I need some space.” She stepped away, needing to flee.

  He got in her way, standing in front of her so they were toe to toe. “Kitten?”

  She winced at the endearment and tried to push past him. “I need to pack my things.”

  “No.” He shook his head. “You need to tell me what’s going on.”

  She stared at him with contemplation in her eyes. “I…I can’t face her,” she said in a rush.

  “Why the hell not?” His voice rose unexpectedly. He was confused and damn tired. “You two used to get along well.”

  Sidney scowled. “Do I have to spell it out?”

  “Obviously you do, because I’m completely fucking clueless.”

  She huffed in frustration and tried to push past him again. Not happening. He mimicked her moves, making sure she wasn’t going anywhere until he had an explanation.

  “Mason!” She glared. “Don’t you get it? She’s watched us have sex. Not only us, Sean too. That video would’ve humiliated her. I would’ve humiliated her. I can’t take the embarrassment and disgust right now. I’m not strong enough to withstand her disapproval.” She began to shake, her voice wavering as much as the hands she held up between them. “Look, I have a million questions, and one day I’ll hang around to get the answers. It just won’t be today. I’m about to break…”

  The warmth of her hand touched his chest, and she pushed, softly, but the shock of her words had him stumbling out of the way. “I need to pack my things.”

  “Wait.” Damn it. Now he knew why she’d been eager to miss dinner with his mother last night. She was ashamed, and he’d never spared a thought at how the reunion would affect them all. Ten points for insensitivity.

  She paused, her spine stiff, her chin high, fighting off the invisible demons. The pain in her eyes sliced through him like rusted steel. He didn’t know how to get her to stay, and now, more than ever, he couldn’t stand the thought of her leaving.

  “You want to clear the slate?” he asked. “Then let’s do it now.”

  She frowned at him. “Mason…”

  He grabbed her hand, pleading with his eyes. “Come on.” He could hear the gravel footsteps of his mother and sister as they walked toward the house. Sidney could too, if the tightening of her hand was any indication.

  “Sean.” He glanced over his shoulder and tried to ignore the rejection on his friend’s face. “Can you deal with my family while we talk?”

  “Yeah, sure.” Sean shot Sidney a sad smile, and then turned in the doorway, heading toward the driveway to hopefully stall their unwanted guests.

  “Come on.” Mason jerked his head in the direction of the left wing, fighting the urge to kiss the fear from Sidney’s features. “We’ll talk in my room.”

  SIDNEY WANTED TO hide as Mason led her into his bedroom and closed the door behind them. She’d been here before. A lifetime ago, when she’d strode through the doorway, grabbed a pillow off his bed and then pounded his sleeping face until he awoke and promised never to be late for one of their studio sessions again.

  She remembered watching in masked awe while he went through his morning routine, washing his face, combing water through his blond waves, and then brushing his teeth. She’d never known hygiene could be so attractive. Truth be told, he could probably make any chore sexy.

  Now he held her hand, his strength seeping into her a little piece at a time, yet not enough to stop her from wanting to run. Being in here, with her guard dangerously low, wasn’t a great idea. Each moment with him washed away a little of the past. Her anger was harder to cling to, and her heart was winning the war. Or maybe it was her libido. Having him shirtless, his muscles flexing with every movement, wasn’t helping.

  “Take a seat.” He indicated the bed with a wave of a hand.

  She inhaled deep and did as requested, slumping onto his mattress. They needed to do this elsewhere. Maybe someplace she wouldn’t imagine him naked, doing naughty things. With her. Over and over again.

  “Let’s get this show on the road.” He stood before her, his bare chest pure temptation.

  “Can you…umm…put on a shirt?” she muttered, diverting her gaze to the carpet.

  “Sure.”

  She heard the humor in his tone and wanted to curse him for it. He headed for his wardrobe and strolled back into the room minutes later, pulling a loose grey T-shirt over his head. “Better?”

  “Yeah.” His potent focus made her shiver, and she found herself nervously running a lazy finger up and down the leg seam of her jeans. They shouldn’t be doing this now, not with the police due to arrive and his mother down the hall. What they needed to discuss would take days, not minutes.

  “So, what do you want to know?”

  She stopped fidgeting and met his gaze, appreciating that the humor had fled his features. “Mason, I’ve got two years’ worth of questions. This isn’t the time or place.”

  He shrugged. “I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you.”

  She sighed, loving and hating the way he wanted her to stick around. Only she didn’t know how to voice her questions without further exposing herself to more humiliation. She’d said enough last night, and there was no pool to push him in if she slipped up again.

  “Come on, kitten. Ask.”

  She chewed her bottom lip. “I just…” Tension built in her chest, tightening until she had to rub her sternum for relief. “I just don’t understand how you could let go of our friendship so easily. That’s what devastates me the most. You moved on without a care—”

  “Easy couldn’t be further from the truth.” The vehemence in his tone made her stomach drop. “Pride was what got me through this mess. Unfortunately, it was also the emotion stopping me from clarifying the situation.” He shrugged. “Do you know what it’s like to have almost every single person you care about believing you’re scum?”

  She gave a derisive laugh. “Yeah, actually I do.” Her friends, her parents, even distant relatives and strangers thought she was disgraceful.

  “It’s not the same.”

  The sadness in his eyes made her speechless, unable to argue that it hurt just as much.

  “I understand what you went through. But being held responsible for a situation like that was entirely fucked up. Everyone expected the worst from me, and apart from being a smart ass most of the time, I’d never earned that disloyalty.” He ran a weary han
d over his forehead. “Do you know what Sean did the very second he caught up with me?”

  She shook her head, already anticipating an answer she didn’t want to hear. Sean had told her things hadn’t been pretty between them after the scandal hit, but she didn’t know specifics.

  “He gave me a black eye.” He laughed with derision. “And Leah was right beside him, arms crossed over her chest, not protesting at the way he pummeled me, not giving a shit at all that I hadn’t even had a chance to open my mouth.”

  “I’m sorry,” she murmured.

  “Don’t be. You had no choice but to believe the rumors. Sean and Leah are different. They had the opportunity to get the full story, and still they went straight for my jugular. The moment his fist collided with my face brought a bucket-load of unwanted clarity. The friends I thought I’d had never really existed. I was alone, clinging to the only thing that mattered to me—my music. It took a long time for me to be able to function around them without the risk of losing it. And once I’d reached that point, everyone else had begun to act like the scandal never existed, so I didn’t want to reopen old wounds.”

  Mason took a step forward, his knees almost touching hers. He held her gaze, held her captive to the torment in his eyes, and all she could do was concentrate on her breathing so she didn’t blubber with something unintelligible.

  “Sid…” Mason whispered. “I’m not claiming I’m free from blame. I took that video. I know it’s out in the world because of me. But I did try to get in contact with you. I was a fucking mess, dealing with paparazzi, police reports, and security contractors, not to mention the social media frenzy. But you were always on my mind. All I wanted to do was talk to you.” His lips curved in a half-hearted smirk. “That assistant of yours is an A-grade pain in the ass.”

  “Justin is my best friend. I appreciate the way he’s protected me. I just…” She shook her head. If their positions were reversed, she would’ve done the same to protect her friend, yet keeping her safe from more emotional harm had made the aftermath worse. Things would’ve been different if one of Mason’s calls would’ve reached her. “I wish it hadn’t turned out this way.”

  “Me either.”

  He stroked a hand through her hair, igniting a path of tingles to run from the top of her spine, down the side of her neck, to pool in her chest. She closed her eyes, allowing the glide of his fingers to touch her soul. She’d never been able to deny her lust for him. Her body never let her forget the pull he had on her. This was different. This was in her heart, burning like wildfire.

  She reached for his shirt, twisting it around her fists for grounding. This man undid her. He controlled her, determined her strength and weakness. No man should ever have that power. She had no control over his hold. And with each passing moment, she wasn’t sure if she wanted control back.

  “What else do you want to know?”

  She opened her eyes and stared up at him, meeting his deep-brown irises. Questions still plagued her, too many to name, yet her mind was frazzled and so damn tired. She kept returning to the same thing. “I guess, I still don’t understand why you didn’t tell me later, once the paparazzi moved on to the next story. Even though you were still angry with Sean, you could’ve told me the truth. We’ve seen each other a few times since the scandal. Why not tell me then?”

  He raised a brow. “Do you remember the first time we met afterward?”

  She glanced away, trying to remember. They hadn’t seen each other often in the last two years.

  “It was at Grander Records,” he interrupted her musings. “Less than a month after the scandal.”

  “Ahh.” She remained quiet, not wanting to relive the memory. She’d just been told the news that her recording contract was no longer going ahead. Consumed with devastation, she’d left the manager’s office and ran straight into Mason. Three seconds later, she was in the middle of her first nervous breakdown, cursing, making threats, and irreversibly ruining her professional reputation.

  “Yeah.” He chuckled. “You didn’t really give me much of an opening to plead my case.”

  She winced.

  “I won’t deny feeling burned after you put me in my place. I don’t blame you.” He shrugged. “And yes, I could’ve tried later, but my pride played a big part in my inability to set things straight. It took me a long time to push aside the disloyalty from my friends. I was a nomad for a while. Doing my own thing and living up to the asshole reputation everyone gave me. I have to admit, though, I did take some enjoyment out of your ferocious backlash. My little wildcat has a way with dirty words.”

  Sidney rolled her eyes, and focused elsewhere. She wished she could be mad. He made it too damn easy to fall under his spell. She was endeared by him, completely lost with no hope of survival. “I hate when you call me that.”

  He ran a delicate finger under her chin, lifting her gaze. His dark irises took in her features, stripping away her defenses and leaving her weak with need. “I don’t believe you.”

  ***

  MASON STARED DOWN at her, his fingers molding her jaw, keeping her face tilted up to his even though she broke eye contact. He needed to step back before he lost the control to do so.

  Her hands fisted tighter in his shirt, encouraging him forward, making it impossible for him to walk away. “Sid…” He didn’t know if her name on his lips was a question or a plea. All he knew was, if she didn’t stop tugging him closer, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from claiming those sweet lips.

  She blinked up at him under thick, dark lashes. He’d yearned for the sight before him. Had jerked off to it more times than he cared to remember—porcelain skin, ruby lips, and the shiniest hair falling over her shoulders. She stole his focus, infused his muse, and hijacked every one of his senses, leaving him a slave to his attraction. No woman had ever claimed his affections like she did.

  “Mason, I…”

  The words were spoken in a breathy whisper, yet it was her eyes, those hazel irises flickering with a myriad of hypnotizing colors that left him senseless. He couldn’t maintain the space between them, couldn’t think past the need for her lips. Leaning in, he brushed his mouth over hers, stealing her sharp intake of breath as her knees parted to allow him closer.

  Their kiss wasn’t harsh or demanding. It was gentle, slow, an apology they both couldn’t voice, yet their bodies knew how to explain. He tasted her thoroughly, each swipe of his tongue acting like an atonement of his guilt.

  He fisted her hair, stepping even closer to the bed. He leaned into her, making her rest back onto the mattress, as their mouths remained joined. Her whimper drove him wild with want, then she tilted her hips, rubbing her pelvis against his shaft, and he was lost in the need to have her. He laid his body on top of hers, fighting a groan at the tightening of his balls. His cock was ready, nestled right where it wanted to be; he just wanted a lot less barriers between them.

  “Mason.” She broke their connection with a panted breath. “We can’t do this. Not with your mother out there.”

  He groaned, resting his head against hers. Yeah, they should definitely stop, but his dick had always had a mind of its own when it came to the hypnotizing Sidney Higgins. He couldn’t help the way his hips ground into her, or the way his hands roamed her sides.

  “Mason,” she chuckled, pushing at his chest. “Stop.”

  He’d do anything to remain like this, in her arms, on top of her body. This, right here, was perfection, and he’d waited a long time to get it back. He swallowed, fighting the need to tell her how fucking glad he was to have her again. Not that he had any unrealistic assumptions one of his highly skilled kisses could fix everything between them. Moving forward would be hard. He was just fucking relieved to be able to claim what was rightfully his.

  “Mason?” A feminine voice from the hall had an adverse reaction on his dick.

  Sidney gasped, and in a flash her arms and legs circled him in a wrestle move to flip him off her.

  “Holy shit.” He fr
owned. “Women really do gain super strength in times of panic.”

  Sidney whacked him over the chest with the back of her hand and glared. “Not funny.”

  “Mason? Is everything OK?”

  “It was,” he grumbled toward the door. “Until you interrupted.”

  “Who is that?” Sidney whispered, the whites of her eyes huge against the darkened irises.

  He grinned, unable to hide his enjoyment at her flustering. “My sister.”

  Sidney scooted off the bed, her face losing color. When the door knob turned, her gaze snapped to his in fear. “Do something!”

  He readjusted the dwindling erection tenting his sweats as the door slowly opened. “Toni, unless you want to see me naked, I wouldn’t come in here.”

  The door slammed shut, followed by a curse echoing from the hall. He laughed, already expecting the earful she’d give him once he left the sanctuary of his room.

  “You’re a disgrace,” his sister called.

  Her footsteps retreated down the hall, leaving them in silence. Sidney stood near the head of the bed, her hands slowly rising to cover her face, her chest beginning to heave.

  “Hey.” He slid from the mattress, coming to her side. “What’s wrong?”

  She flung her hand toward the door. “I can’t go out there. I haven’t even met your sister face to face and already she’s calling me a disgrace. I can’t do this, Mason. I just can’t.”

  Cupping her cheeks, he stroked her bottom lip with his thumbs. “I assure you, kitten, her comment was aimed at me.” He gave her a lazy smile, trying to convey his sincerity. “Toni once wore a T-shirt to Christmas dinner that stated ‘My brother is a man whore.’”

  Sidney lowered her hands to her sides and quirked a disbelieving brow.

  “I promise, I’m not joking. She thinks my life is made up of concert tours and defiling groupies.”

  “Smart woman.”

  “Ha ha.” He leaned in, smacking a quick peck on her lips. “Come on. I promise you’ll be fine.”

  The look of panic returned to her features, and she shook her head. “No. I’ll sneak out the back to the pool house until they’re gone.”