by Amber Garza
Dad gritted his teeth. “Did you think you could get away from me for good, princess?”
I hated when he called me that. It wasn’t endearing in the way I imagined it was when other dads said it to their daughters. When he used to call me that at the park or other public place when I was little, women would always smile down at me as if I had the sweetest dad in the world. I wanted to yell at them, to make them understand, to tell them about the hell I lived in every day.
The first slap wasn’t so bad. It stung, but I could endure it. And it told me he was just warming up. A little appetizer to whet his palette. The evil grin that swept his face told me he would enjoy every moment of this. He grabbed my face, his fingers digging into my flesh as he stuck his face in front of mine.
“Tell me you’re sorry, Jade! Apologize for leaving and not telling me where you went.”
I couldn’t speak because he was pressing my mouth closed as he gripped my face. But I did my best to push the words out, knowing it would be unforgivable to not do what he said. “I-I’m sorry.”
“You know why I have to do this, right? I have no choice but to teach you a lesson. You had me worried when you left.”
Worried. Yeah, right. I almost laughed at that. I might have if I wasn’t so terrified.
He released my face, and I exhaled, allowing the feeling to return to my cheeks. Before I could savor it, his fist cracked into the side of my face. Pain shot all the way up into my head. He wrung out his hand, cursing, like he was the one hurt. I was pretty sure something had been broken, and I had trouble moving my jaw correctly. Tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them back. I had to stay strong. It wasn’t over yet. Far from it.
“So what’s in this god awful town, Jade?” Dad asked in his gravelly voice, running a hand over his salt and pepper hair. It was funny to me how normal my dad looked, with his brown eyes, gray hair and wrinkles around his mouth. I didn’t know what I expected. Real life monsters didn’t have tails and horns on their heads. They were normal people with families, wives and children. Men who went to work wearing slacks and dress shoes, carrying briefcases in their hands. I guess I always expected that one day the evil inside of him would manifest itself on the outside. As a child I imagined that one day it would be plain as day, etched on his face like my scars. I figured he should endure my same fate. He was the one who did it to me, after all.
“You got a boyfriend here?” Spittle fell from his mouth as he spoke.
My heart arrested. The only other time he punished me about a guy was when he burned my face. Heath didn’t bother him. We’d known Heath for years, and he always placated my dad. Dad knew Heath was no threat to him.
“No. Of course not.”
He stuck his hand into his pocket. I didn’t move my body, but I followed him with my eyes, knowing what he was doing. He yanked out the red lighter, a maniacal look on his face.
“Seriously. No, man.” Heath finally sprang into action, surprising me. “Not in here. The whole place will go up in flames. I can’t afford to have arson on my record. I already have a warrant out, man.”
What a selfish piece of shit.
“You know what happens if you’re lying to me, right, Jade?” Dad held the lighter up in front of my face.
I nodded, my body starting to shake. My cheek throbbed, my jaw ached.
The door swung open, cool air spilling inside. “Get away from her!” Kyler stood in the doorway, the same gun he taught me to shoot with aimed at my dad.
Heath threw his arms up. But Dad wasn’t one to cower. He grabbed me around the neck, pulling me close.
“Who the hell is he?” Dad’s breath was hot and sticky against my skin.
I pressed my lips together, my heart hammering. I prayed that Kyler would shoot him. Blow his guts all over this damn motel room so I could finally be free.
“I said to get away from her!” Kyler stepped in the room, his voice demanding. “Don’t think I won’t shoot you, because I will. Hell, I should’ve done it years ago.”
Dad’s eyes widened. “You!” He hollered. “What the hell are you doing here?”
My gaze shot between the two of them. “You know him, Dad?” When I spoke it caused unimaginable pain in my face. I cringed, fighting through it.
“Of course. You do too.” He pulled his arm tighter around me, constricting my breath. “Son, you didn’t have the guts to do it years ago, and you won’t now.” Dad flicked the lighter on, the flame nearing my hair.
“No.” I wriggled in his grip, trying to push my hair out of the way, not wanting it to go up in flames.
“That’s where you’re wrong. I will absolutely shoot your ass because I didn’t do it years ago. It’s time to finally make it right.”
I closed my eyes as Kyler pulled the trigger, knowing that if his shot wasn’t spot on I was getting hit too. The sound of the gunshot pierced through the room. Dad and I flew backward. His hand fell off of me, landing on the ground as my head bumped the wall. I glanced down to see blood splattering my shirt. Reaching down, I touched my body, running my fingertips over my skin. Was I hit?
“Jade.” Kyler rushed me. Heath started running for the door, but Kyler turned the gun on him. “Stay right there or I’ll shoot you too.” Heath froze. Sirens sounded in the distance.
Dad stirred, moaning from where he lay on the ground.
Kyler’s gaze roved over my body. He touched my battered cheek, running his fingers over it gently, a pained expression on his face. “You’re not hit. I got him in the shoulder.” He glared down at my dad. “He’ll live. Not that he deserves to.”
My head was reeling from the entire exchange. How did he know my dad?
“You’re going to regret this, son,” Dad sputtered, trying to move, but it was no use. Blood leaked from the wound in his shoulder. It smelled like burnt flesh in here.
“I don’t think you’re in any position to threaten me, Mr. Mathews.” When Kyler said my dad’s name, his tone was dripping with sarcasm in a way that told me he meant it as a slam. As if my dad had asked him to call him that at some point, and he was rubbing it in his face.
While Kyler was distracted, Heath turned around, inching toward the door.
“Don’t think you can outrun me,” Kyler shouted in his direction, and Heath halted. “In case you missed it, I’m a pretty good shot.”
I shivered. It’s true. Dad was directly behind me. It’s a miracle that he hit him without even grazing me. Kyler kept one eye on me and one on Heath to make sure he didn’t bolt. Not that he would. Heath’s entire body shuddered, and he looked dangerously close to throwing up.
The parking lot filled with red and blue flashing lights. Cops entered the room, guns drawn. Kyler pulled me close, and I let him, falling against his chest with a relieved sigh.
“Burt,” he called to one of the officers.
“Kyler?” The man raised a brow. “What happened?”
“They were attacking her. It was self-defense.” He stroked my hair. “She needs medical attention.”
As the cops swarmed the room, I stared up at Kyler while the words spoken tonight replayed through my head.
You didn’t have the guts to do it years ago, and you won’t now.
It’s time to finally make it right.
Mr. Mathews.
As I took in Kyler’s face - his rugged charm, his full lips, his sandy blond hair, his silver eyes - suddenly I knew. And now that I did, it all made perfect sense.
“I know who you are now,” I whispered.
TWENTY-SIX
After the paramedics checked me out and the police interrogated me for hours, I was finally released to go home. At this point I had no idea where home was. It’s not like I could go back to the motel now, and I sure as hell wasn’t getting on a bus back to my hometown. I strapped on my backpack and trudged out of the station. The sky was pitch black, the moon hidden behind the clouds. A chill broke out over my skin from the coolness of the air circling me.
My cheek throbbed, and
my body ached. But other than that, I had no injuries. And apparently nothing had been broken. My face would heal like it had all the other times. It seemed like a miracle that I’d made it through this whole ordeal relatively unscathed. I didn’t think my dad planned for me to leave that motel room in one piece. In his mind I had betrayed him in the worst way possible.
It was the middle of the night, so the parking lot was empty and dark. When I reached the asphalt, I let out a little gasp.
Kyler stood against his truck, his leg bent and one hand in the pocket of his jeans. I hadn’t noticed him before. He was masked under the backdrop of night. Shoving off the truck, he walked toward me. “You okay?”
I nodded, biting my lip.
“They weren’t too hard on you, were they?” He nodded in the direction of the police station.
“No, they were fine.” I hugged myself.
“You cold?” Kyler reached for me. “C’mere.”
Shaking my head, I stepped backward.
“Jade.” Even in the dark I could make out his silver eyes and the strong set of his jaw. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you who I was sooner.”
“I don’t understand. You said you were from Alabama.”
“No, I didn’t. I said that my parents live in Alabama. You assumed I was from there.”
“But still. You knew who I was the whole time, and you never told me.” Sorrow enveloped me. “I don’t know if I can ever trust you again.”
“Please come home with me and we can talk. I’ll explain everything, and if you still want to leave, I’ll help you find a place to go in the morning.”
I wanted to say no, to storm away and never look back. But I was tired, hungry and cold. And the truth was that I did want to hear what he had to say. I wanted to know everything. Slowly, I bobbed my head up and down.
A relieved smile swept across Kyler’s face as he ushered me to the truck. I slid into the passenger seat, and Kyler closed the door behind me. While he went around to the driver’s side, I took off my backpack and set it on the floor near my feet. Kyler hopped in and started the engine. As the truck rumbled out of the parking lot, I rested my head against the seat and stared out the window.
We drove in silence for awhile. The only sound was the tires spinning along the road, and the wind hitting the windshield. I shifted in the vinyl seat attempting to get comfortable. Images from the night assaulted me. Dad hitting me. Reaching into his pocket with his thick fingers, and pulling out his lighter. Kyler busting in, gun in hand. Heath trying to run. Kyler shooting Dad in the shoulder. Blood everywhere. I squeezed my eyes closed and exhaled, allowing my chest to expand. It was over now. Rolling my head to the side, I stared at Kyler’s profile that was illuminated in the moonlight.
“So, they let you go, huh?”
Kyler kept his gaze trained forward. “Yeah, apparently Heath sang like a canary. Even though your dad lied, making it seem like I attacked him unprovoked, Heath corroborated my story.” His jaw clenched. “I’m not sure this is all behind us, but at least for tonight we’re free.”
My shoulders tightened. I didn’t even want to think about the future. Tonight I had finally come clean, and told the officers everything my dad had done to me. And I said that I wanted to press charges. Something I should have done years ago. I didn’t know how this kind of thing worked, but I assumed at some point I would have to testify against him and that made me feel sick to my stomach. I wanted to rest in this one free moment, knowing that my dad and Heath couldn’t hurt me tonight. That even if it was fleeting, they were locked up. They were in a place where they couldn’t reach me. If only for tonight, I could breathe easy.
“Hey,” Kyler said. “Don’t worry. I won’t let him hurt you again. I’ll do everything in my power to keep him away from you. Even if I have to put a bullet in his head this time.” His icy tone made me shiver.
But I knew he was telling the truth. I could hear it in his voice. And he had saved my life tonight. If only his protectiveness alone could make me feel safe. If only I could believe in him again like I desperately wanted to. But things changed the minute I realized his true identity, and I wasn’t sure how we could ever go back to the way we were. Back to when I was starting to open up and trust him.
When we got to his house, Edgar bounded toward me. He jumped up on my legs, licking and panting. His claws scratched at my pants.
“He missed you,” Kyler said, but in his eyes I saw the words he didn’t say. He missed me too.
My heart squeezed. I stroked Edgar’s fur until he was calm. Then I made my way to the couch, sinking down onto the plush cushions. It felt good to sit, to rest my weary body. My shoulders relaxed, my body warmed. Comfort blanketed me. I wondered if this was what coming home felt like.
“Can I get you some tea or anything?” Kyler asked.
I shook my head. “All I want from you is answers.”
“Fair enough. But first let me get you an ice pack.”
I sighed. He was always taking care of me. Even now.
After handing me a wrapped ice pack, he sat next to me, spreading his arms out in front of him like an offering. “Ask me anything you want.”
I pressed the ice pack to my face. It stung a little. “And you’ll be honest this time?”
“I guess I deserve that.” Kyler frowned. “Yes, I’ll be completely honest with you.”
My face started to numb, the pain fading. “So before your parents moved to Alabama you lived with them at the apartments, right?”
He nodded.
“I remember your mom.” The fuzzy memories began to surface. “I used to see her outside smoking cigarettes. I don’t remember seeing your dad much.”
Kyler’s lips hardened, the vein in his forehead more prominent than usual. Something about his dad agitated him. I guess we had that in common.
He wasn’t a nice man, was he?”
“Not at all.”
I recalled hearing yelling through the wall sometimes. A man’s voice, strong and angry. I was remembering a lot now. I’d repressed most of my childhood memories. It was too difficult to think about. But being here with Kyler, the boy who’d live next door to me for years, made it all come flooding back. “You knew what he did to me. You saw. And yet you did nothing. You never even spoke to me.”
A sad expression cloaked Kyler’s face. He fidgeted with his hands in his lap. “Whenever you came outside you were so guarded. You kept to yourself, and you always had your head down. I didn’t know what to say to you. But I did do something. I called the cops numerous times, leaving anonymous tips about your dad. I know they showed up at your apartment, but they always seemed to leave without doing anything.”
The cops had come to my house several times. But I always lied, said that I hurt myself. That I was a klutz. Once in high school I even blamed my injuries on my boyfriend at the time. Not that I felt guilty about that. He was an ass. Dad had a couple of buddies on the force, so they always believed him. He was a respected member of society. No one suspected that he was a monster behind closed doors.
“The last time I called the cops, my dad found out. He yelled at me, telling me to stay out of it. That it was none of my business. He said that the way your dad parented was his issue, not ours. But after I moved out on my own, I realized he was wrong. It was my business. It was all of ours. None of us should have let your dad treat you that way.” He lifted his head, his eyes shining. “So I grabbed my gun and went after your dad. I figured if the police wouldn’t handle it, then I would. I threatened to kill him so he’d never be able to hurt you again, but then I couldn’t follow through with it. I was too scared. I was a kid. Only eighteen. I had my whole life ahead of me. I didn’t want to end up in prison for life.” He paused, a silent apology in his eyes. “After my parents moved to Alabama and I moved here, I called the manager of that apartment complex and found out that you’d moved out. I was so relieved, assuming you were no longer in danger.”
A bitter chuckle leapt from my throat. �
�Yeah. Only I was living with Heath, and he wasn’t much better than my dad.”
“So the bruises you had when you first showed up here weren’t from your dad?”
“No, that was all Heath.”
“Bastard,” he muttered under his breath. “I should’ve shot him while I had the chance.”
I suppressed a small smile. “Did you know who I was when you found me in the barn?”
Pressing his lips together, he nodded.
“So that’s what all this was, huh? A way for you to ease your guilty conscience.”
“No, it wasn’t like that.” Kyler sighed. “I mean, I guess at first it kind of was. When I saw you in the barn I felt like I was given a second chance. An opportunity to help you like I should have done years ago. I wanted to give you a safe place to stay, and I planned to tell you the whole truth once you got comfortable here. But I didn’t plan on falling for you. Once that happened, I was afraid to tell you the truth. I was afraid you would leave, and I didn’t want to lose you.”
My heart softened at his words. But I wasn’t quite ready to give in to him yet. “What about the book?”
“I wanted to write something for you, Jade. Something beautiful, like you are.”
“Then why not tell me about it? God, Kyler, you wrote a book about my life without even asking my permission.”
“I was going to.”
“When? When it came out and the whole world knew my story?”
“No. I would never do that to you.” Kyler scooted forward, his eyes pleading with me. “The story isn’t accurate. I only knew a little about your situation. Things I intimated from snippets of conversations and noise through our conjoined wall. The Red Lighter is a work of fiction. But even so, I always planned to get your permission before sending it to my publisher.” Reaching forward slowly, he placed his hand over mine. I didn’t pull back. I didn’t move at all. “I wanted to give you the happy ending you deserve.”
