by Jane Shoup
“Right back atcha.” Doll moved over to the stove and melted lard, then put the vegetables in a pan to fry.
“Mm-mmm,” Wood murmured as he walked in. “I’m hungry.”
“Well, when aren’t you?” Doll replied. “Why are you back early?”
“Because I’m hungry,” Wood said, edging closer to see if there were any tidbits to snack on.
“Emmy, I set some pies out to cool earlier,” Doll said. “Get them for me before you go?”
“Sure.” Em wiped her hands on her apron and complied cheerfully.
Wood watched her go. “She looks good today.”
“And she’s going into town,” Doll said meaningfully.
“Now, if you want to help, finish slicing those taters. After you wash them hands. No telling what you been touching.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Mrs. Simpson unwrapped the white cheese and cut a small chunk. “Soft, dry,” she commented. She smelled and then tasted it. “Very good.”
Em realized she was holding her breath, and let go of it. It wasn’t that they needed the money, but Doll had toiled over the cheese; she’d be sorely disappointed if Mrs. Simpson rejected it.
“Back in New York,” Mrs. Simpson said, “we made a goat cheese pie with tomatoes and onions. Delicious. So, how much can you bring me every week? And how much per pound? Let’s settle on it now.”
Em walked out of Wiley’s feeling positively high, and headed toward the General Store. Besides staples, she was going to buy tobacco, since Tommy and Wood had been sampling and comparing brands.
“Miss Wright?”
Em stopped and turned to see two of the waitresses from Wiley’s who’d followed her out. “Yes?”
“Can we speak with you for a minute?”
“Certainly.”
“I’m Dixie and this is Meredith,” a solidly built brunette said. “We’re friends of Colleen.”
Em’s smile suddenly felt a bit strained. Not only at the mention of Colleen, but because of the way the women stood and looked at her as if they disliked her. When they didn’t even know her.
“I don’t know if you know this or not, but we sign a contract with Mr. Wiley not to get married for a year after startin’ work,” Dixie continued.
Em blinked, wondering why they would tell her this. “I . . . didn’t know that.”
“We’re friends with Colleen,” Meredith said. She had light-colored hair and a strangely asymmetrical face.
“We already said that,” Dixie reminded her, sotto voce.
“Anyway,” Meredith said, sending an insulted glance at Dixie, “her year isn’t up yet, but sometimes rules shouldn’t matter. You know what I mean?”
“I’m not sure,” Em replied hesitantly. The only thing she was sure of was that she didn’t want to hear this. She just wanted to buy her goods, get back home and share the good news with the others, especially Tommy.
“Tommy Medlin wants to marry Colleen,” Dixie stated.
Em’s jaw went lax. It felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her.
“And Colleen loves him, too,” Meredith spoke up again. “He is all she talks about.”
“But Tommy feels like he can’t, because of . . . you know, obligations and all.”
“It’s the farm,” Meredith added. “He doesn’t want to disappoint you, ya’ll having a partnership and all.”
Em felt sick to her stomach. How did they know all this? Had Tommy told them? How else could they possibly know?
“He takes responsibility real serious,” Dixie said.
Em experienced a clutch of annoyance that the two of them would have the gall to tell her what Tommy was like. Her Tommy.
“They’re together right now,” Dixie continued. “Tommy and Colleen. Talking about it.”
Em nearly took a step backward. She felt sick.
“We were thinking, if you could just talk to him and maybe encourage him—”
“Release him, so to speak.”
Em’s fingernails dug into the palms of her hands. Release him?
“Like we said, he doesn’t want to disappoint you. But—”
“But if he knew it was fine by you to marry Colleen, he’d do it in a minute.”
“Just your blessing. That’s all he’d need.”
“He feels kind of held down.”
“He should be able to have a life, too.”
As if she’d tried to prevent Tommy from having a life, which was exactly what they were insinuating. What a load of sheep shit. He was happy at the farm. He’d told her he’d never been happier. Of course, that had been months ago. And she had been a recluse and a burden since. “I never thought otherwise,” she said weakly.
“He’s awful proud and shy,” Dixie ventured. “So, you’d have to be careful, I guess, in how you brought it up.”
The women had inched closer to Em, too close, and she felt a pressing need to get away from them. “Thank you,” she said stiffly, “for telling me,” she added.
“You’ll think about it?”
“Yes,” Em replied, and she turned and hurried away, too close to tears for comfort.
Dixie and Meredith waited until she was out of sight before they turned to each other gleefully. “My God,” Dixie exclaimed. “Did you see her face?”
“I thought she was going to faint!”
“Me, too.”
“I almost feel sorry for her.” Meredith’s eyes twinkled mischievously. “Almost.”
“Not me,” Dixie said, lifting a brow and folding her arms. “Women like her get everything.”
“Yeah, but she’s in love with him. You can see it.”
Dixie’s expression hardened. “Who cares? I’ll be so glad if she loses him. I swear, I’ll do a jig at the wedding right in front of her.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Colleen spread a blanket under a huge oak tree and in view of the lake. Tommy watched as she sat and then looked up at him, full of expectation and he couldn’t tell what else. He moved forward and sat, feeling awkward. Why was she here? He didn’t have time to waste like this and yet he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. She’d driven a long way out to see him.
“It’s so pretty here,” Colleen said. “Would you stay at the farm if you was to get married?”
Get married? What was she talking about? “I don’t think I’ll be going anywhere,” he replied. It sounded choppy and he felt even more foolish than before.
“I know the farm couldn’t run without you. But haven’t you ever thought of getting married and starting a family of your own?”
This was undoubtedly the most uncomfortable he had ever been. “Not really.”
“Tommy, will you kiss me?”
A soft pout was playing on her lips and her dress was so low cut he could see her breasts heaving when she breathed. She was pretty, so why didn’t he feel the least inclination? “I don’t know if that would be a good idea.”
“One kiss, Tommy. Please? I come all this way.”
He hesitated and then leaned over to kiss her.
As he got close, she wrapped her hands around his neck and went flat on her back, bringing him down with her. She grabbed hold of his hand and brought it to her breast. “You can touch me. I want you to.”
His instinct was to back away, because it was too fast and forced, plus she wanted too much from him, but her breasts were straining toward him. He cupped one and a part of him wanted to go along with her wishes. His body was responding even without his emotions being in play. But then she reached down and began tugging up her skirt, and he heard his ma’s warning inside his head. She will lift her skirt up and say ‘put your thing inside me and move.’ The memory stifled all desire in him and he pulled back. “I’m sorry. This just isn’t right.”
“I’d marry you, Tommy,” Colleen pleaded.
A sickening kind of panic took hold, but no words came to his rescue. He sat up.
“And have your children,” she continued. She sat up, too, and read
justed her clothing to cover herself. “I’ve been hoping you’d ask me, but . . . you’re so busy,” she finished weakly. “But wouldn’t you like to have a wife who’d cook and keep house for you? Somebody you could come home to at the end of the day and be with? Because I’d do that.”
He looked away from her. She was a pusher, like his ma. “I haven’t thought about it that much,” he hedged, not wanting to hurt her.
Colleen chewed on her bottom lip nervously. “Will you do me one favor?”
This was pure misery. “I’ll try.”
“Close your eyes and picture something for me.”
He closed his eyes. He felt foolish, but he’d said he would.
“It’s the end of the day and you come home,” she said softly. “And your wife is there, waiting for you. Dinner’s all made. Let’s say it’s . . . wintertime and snowing outside.”
His lips parted slightly, because he saw it. He saw the house, the polished wood floor, the fire burning in the hearths. He imagined the savory scent of food and the familiar face and figure of his wife as she untied her apron and set it aside. She smiled, glad to see him, and it affected his heart like it always did.
“And your young son comes running in to tell you something and he throws himself up into your arms. Oh, Tommy, he looks just like you.”
Tommy smiled, picturing it.
“He’s so beautiful and healthy and strong,” she continued.
Tommy breathed out slowly. His son did look like him and his daughter, his precious little baby girl, looked just like her mama.
“Now, imagine it’s later on,” Colleen went on. “Time for bed,” she said in a low, seductive voice. “The children are asleep in their rooms. Can’t you just imagine how sweet they look when they sleep?”
It was true; they did. They looked like angels tucked in their beds in the loft.
“After you check on them, cover them up, you come to bed.”
He could see it. Em was waiting for him, looking up at him with those beautiful golden eyes of hers. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. She lifted back the covers, offering herself to him. Just like in his dream.
“And I’m waiting there for you,” Colleen finished.
Tommy opened his eyes, knowing he couldn’t hedge anymore. It wasn’t right. “I can’t marry you, Colleen.”
Her face fell. “Why not?”
He shook his head. “I just can’t.”
Tears sprang to her eyes. “But why?”
“Because I love someone else.”
Colleen’s expression changed, hardened. “But does she love you?” she demanded. “Will she marry you?”
Tommy drew a breath, but didn’t speak.
“She won’t, Tommy,” Colleen implored. “She won’t. And you’ll end up all alone.”
Tommy got to his feet. She was telling the truth, but it didn’t matter. He couldn’t marry someone else just because the woman he loved didn’t love him back. Not in the way he loved her.
“Tommy, please,” Colleen wailed.
He felt terrible. Colleen cared about him and he was hurting her. He’d never imagined he’d be in this position.
“I’d be a good wife!”
“I know you will be. But it can’t be to me. I’m sorry.” He offered his hand to help her up.
She accepted his hand and got to her feet. “You’re making a mistake,” she said in a shaky voice.
He wondered what else he could say.
“Will you think about what I said?” she begged. “Just think about it?”
“There’s no use,” he replied gently. “I’m sorry.”
Em made herself go though the motions. She purchased supplies and then headed back home, navigating the road without truly seeing it. She could only picture Tommy and revisit scores of insignificant moments they’d spent together. Working, talking, planning. But they hadn’t been insignificant. They’d been little building blocks of communication and trust. And all for what? She’d taken him for granted, just like everyone else in the world had. And now a woman who was smart enough to appreciate him had snagged him.
Tommy, her rescuer and best friend, wanted to marry someone else. “Maybe it’s not true,” she murmured. And yet how else could those girls at Wiley’s have known what they did?
Em brought the wagon to a stop and pressed her fist to her chest. Her heart felt heavy and swollen. Maybe it was; that would explain her not being able to breathe very well all of a sudden. Stop it, she commanded herself. You’ll go on. You’ll be calm. You will talk to him, and if he truly wants to be free of you—
She shook her head as tears blurred her vision, but she forced herself to finish the thought. If he wants to be free, you will let him go. She swallowed hard, wiped her face and drove on.
Everything looked normal when she arrived back home. The men were returning from the field, although Tommy wasn’t amongst them. Of course, that wasn’t unusual. He often stayed behind and worked longer than anyone.
Doll came scurrying out. “Well?”
“She wants to buy all we can make,” Em replied as she climbed down from the wagon on weak-feeling legs.
Doll pursed her lips in order not to burst into the wide smile that threatened. “Means she’s got good sense. And what’s that, may I ask?” She pointed to the case of sarsaparilla. “I don’t recall ordering that.”
“It’s a treat,” Em said, trying to keep her voice light. Everything looked and felt perfectly normal, except for her.
“Wood,” Doll bellowed. She reached for one of the 20-pound bags of sugar and headed back to the kitchen. Wood passed her and she gave her thumb a backward jerk. “Emmy brought sarsaparillas. Get ’em.”
“Went well, then, did it?” Wood asked with a grin.
“Good enough that I got you this,” Em replied, handing him a tin of snuff.
Wood whooped and kicked up his heels. “And it ain’t even my birthday!”
She grinned, despite the sick tension she felt. “Is Tommy around?”
Wood was walking around the wagon, his back to Em. “Sure, he’s around. Want me to find him for you?”
Was it her imagination or was there something odd about Wood’s tone? “Is he busy?” she asked reluctantly.
“He’s with someone, I believe.” He looked back at her sheepishly. “You okay, there, Emmy? No offense, but you’re looking a little green around the gills.”
“I’m fine,” she said quickly, stammering only slightly. She started to walk off, then stopped and turned back to him, because she had to know. She could not stand one more instant of not knowing. “The person Tommy’s with, is it Colleen?”
He hesitated, hating the answer. “I believe it is.”
Her faced heated; she felt so foolish. Apparently everyone knew about Tommy and Colleen except her. She’d been so stupid. So foolish and remiss.
“How ’bout I get him for you?” Wood offered again.
“No,” Em replied. She held up another tin of snuff and then tossed it to him. “Just give him that when you see him.”
Colleen was relieved to see her horse. She couldn’t stop the tears from running down her face, but they didn’t relieve the hysteria she felt building. A terrible outburst was coming and she wanted to be well clear of the place before it did. She mounted her horse without the hand up Tommy offered.
“Will you be alright?” he asked.
She gave a stiff nod, because she wasn’t capable of speaking without blubbering like a baby. He handed up the blanket she’d brought and she took it and then kicked her horse into motion.
“Went that well, did it?” Wood asked as she rode away.
Tommy looked back at the older man as he approached. He shook his head, unable to express how bad he felt.
“I was coming to find you,” Wood said. “You should probably go see Em.”
Tommy tensed. “Why?”
“I don’t rightly know but she seemed strange and she was asking for you.” As Colleen turned onto the road and
disappeared from sight, he scratched behind his ear. “I, uh, didn’t know the two of you had something going on.”
“Who?”
“You and Miss Colleen.”
“We don’t,” he stated firmly.
“Oh?” He nodded slowly. “I see. My mistake.”
Tommy started off. “I’m going to find Em.”
“Yeah, you should do that,” Wood called, giving in to a relieved grin.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Tommy opened the door without knocking and found Em pacing. She saw him and quickly turned and dabbed at her eyes and nose. He closed the door behind him. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she replied too quickly.
“Em?”
“Nothing,” she said again, turning back to face him. “Really, nothing. I’m fine.” She shrugged.
“Wood said you wanted to see me.”
She crossed her arms. “No. I just asked where you were. That’s all. Not that I was checking up on you. I just asked. It was nothing. Oh, I b-brought you a tin of snuff. Wood’s got it.”
Whatever was bothering Em wasn’t nothing. She was chattering and stammering the way she did when she was nervous, and she’d been crying. Something had happened in town. He walked to the table and sat. “Tell me what happened,” he said calmly.
Seconds of silence ticked by.
“Aren’t you with someone?” she asked.
“Yeah, I’m with you.”
“I meant Colleen.”
“No, she left.”
She looked away to collect herself. “Are you—”
“What?”
She had to know. She had to ask him. Rigidly, she moved to the table and sat across from him. Stiffly. “I heard you were getting married.”
Tommy frowned. “Where did you hear that?”
He hadn’t denied it. So it was true. She felt sick. “Wiley’s,” she said weakly.
He struggled to understand what she was talking about and why she looked so devastated, as if he’d disappointed her beyond belief. “Wiley’s?”
