January Girl (Wilder Irish Book 1)

by Mari Carr

  “This wine is incredible.”

  “I wasn’t sure if you liked red. The blanc seemed like a safer choice. For future reference, where do you stand on reds?”

  Caitlyn grinned mischievously, grateful to guide them back to the cat-and-mouse game. It was easier for her to maneuver through. “Future reference? That sure of yourself, are you?”

  He didn’t respond. Instead, he pressed for the answer. “A simple love it or hate it will do.”

  “I love all reds. Except merlot.”

  “So noted.”

  “Since you seem to know every single detail about my family, how about you tell me a little bit about yours. You work with your dad, right?”

  Lucas nodded. “I joined Whiting Properties after earning an MBA from Harvard. I’m COO to my father’s CEO title.”

  She’d read that fact in his bio on the company’s website. “You and your dad must be close.”

  Padraig and Tris worked together at the bar, and the two of them were thick as thieves. Aunt Lane joked that she thought they actually shared a hive mind. Padraig would start a story and Tris would finish it. Or Tris would simply jerk his head toward the liquor shelf and somehow Padraig knew exactly which bottle he needed.

  “If you’re referring to proximity, then yes, my dad and I are close. His office is next door to mine.”

  His short tone took her aback. “I didn’t mean physical distance.”

  “I know. My father isn’t exactly an easy man to get close to. He’s…” Lucas paused and Caitlyn sensed he was trying to find the words. “He’s a perfectionist, and he expects nothing less than that in everyone who works for him. He’s driven and detail-oriented. If you’ve done a good job, he won’t say anything to you. That’s his version of a compliment. If you’ve displeased him, you’ll know it, because where he lacks kind words, he has an endless supply of criticism. Failure isn’t tolerated. Ever.”

  “Jesus. He sounds like a mean son of a bitch.”

  Lucas chuckled. “He is. Very much so.”

  “Is that why your mother left?” Caitlyn winced.

  Wow. Nosy much?

  He must have noticed her unease. “I don’t mind the questions. I know exactly how much information is floating around about the Whitings online. I already admitted I’ve done my research on your family as well. My mother was an heiress, wealthy in her own right before she married my father. They’re equals when it comes to their love of money and power. When they met, no doubt they saw a way to double that wealth. Unfortunately, greed wasn’t a strong enough reason to stay together in the end. I once saw a really old movie with Michael Douglas called War of the Roses. Have you ever seen it?”

  Caitlyn shook her head.

  “You should look it up sometime. It fits my parents to a tee.”

  “How old were you when they divorced?”

  “Twelve. Which in my mind was eleven years too late.”

  “Do you see your mom often?”

  “We have a standing lunch date at her country club once a month, where she apprises me of business matters concerning her inheritance…and mine. Typically the meal lasts anywhere from two to three hours, which is long enough for both of us.”

  Caitlyn spoke to her mom nearly every single day. Not because she had to, but because she wanted to. And she talked to her dad almost as much. They were interested in her day-to-day life and always there to offer advice or a shoulder to cry on if she needed it. Once again, she was struck by how different their lives were. How lonely his must be.

  “I can’t imagine it was easy for you growing up in a home like that. With people like that.”

  Lucas had been looking at her very directly for most of their conversation, but now his gaze dropped to his wineglass. He toyed with the stem. “I handled it better than most.”

  “I guess so. Considering you’re still willing to work with your father.”

  “The business is half mine. My father and I have worked very hard to make it prosperous and successful. We have similar goals and…for lack of a better word…mindsets. As such, it’s not difficult working with him. However, others don’t feel the same. We’ve lost more than our fair share of business admins.”

  “Because of your dad? Or you too?” she asked with a grin.

  “I can see by your smile you know the answer to that question perfectly well. As you said in the car, I’m a bastard by my own right.”

  “I said asshole. Bastard was your word.”

  Lucas chuckled.

  “And where did your brother figure into all of this?”

  The second the question came out, Caitlyn wished she could pull it back in. She’d always been far too inquisitive, wearing her parents out with queries about everything under the sun when she was growing up. Her dad assured her that her tenaciousness and constant probing for answers was one of the reasons she was a good lawyer. However, in this case, she’d gone too far. Left the realm of curious and entered the world of prying, nosy bitch.

  “Please forget I asked that. It was horribly rude of me to—”

  “No,” Lucas interrupted her. “You’ve done your homework well. I don’t mind answering. My brother, Toby…” Lucas paused. “Well, he took everything our father said to heart.”

  Caitlyn reached out, grasping his hand. “I heard that he passed away. I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’m very sorry.”

  He squeezed her hand and gave her a sad smile. “The coroner said it was a drug overdose.”

  There was something in his tone that told her he didn’t agree with that assessment.

  “It wasn’t?”

  Her suspicions were confirmed when he very quietly added, “I know it was suicide.”

  Caitlyn swallowed heavily, searching his face for some trace of the emotion she heard in his voice. Strangely, it was missing. While he’d shared a very painful secret with her, he somehow still managed to hold himself aloof, stoic.

  As such, she didn’t have a clue how to respond. She would be devastated to lose Lochlan or one of her cousins to suicide. She could only imagine how often Lucas played over events or conversations, wondering if there was something he could have done to save his brother. God knew that was what she would do. Finally, she repeated, “I’m so sorry.”

  “You’re wasting your degree.”

  Caitlyn frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “You were made for criminal courts. You’ve managed to get me to confess things I’ve never told anyone.”

  “Why did you tell me all that?”

  He ran his thumb along the top of her hand. “You asked.”

  Did that mean no one had ever bothered to get to know him on a personal level? That idea saddened her, though she could understand why it was true. Lucas’s brooding face and no-nonsense way of speaking didn’t exactly invite someone to seek confidences.

  They held hands for a few moments longer, only letting go when the waiter returned with a rich-looking lobster soup. Once the bowls were set in front of them, he topped up their wineglasses and left again.

  She glanced at the soup curiously, considering she hadn’t even seen a menu yet.

  “I took the liberty of placing our order when I made the reservation. Pace yourself. There are five more courses coming.”

  Her eyes widened. “Five?”

  Lucas grinned. “That was the most expensive thing on the menu.”

  She lifted the spoon and took a taste of the soup. She closed her eyes and groaned at the sheer delicious decadence of it. “Oh my God.”

  When she lifted her eyelids, she realized Lucas wasn’t eating. Instead, he was watching her—hungrily. Clearly what was in the bowl wasn’t going to sate his desires.

  “Lucas,” she whispered. She was two seconds away from suggesting they skip straight to dessert.

  She shut the thought down. She wasn’t sleeping with him. She couldn’t.

  Could she?

  “Did you obey my command?”

  Oh fuck.

  “I can’t do
this with you.”

  Lucas’s eyes narrowed, his gaze going dark. That look should have terrified her. Instead, she was more aroused than she’d ever been in her life. “Answer my question, Cait.”

  Again with the nickname. She’d been called Cait a million times in her life by pretty much everyone she knew. Yet somehow, when he used that tone, it took on a completely different feeling, different meaning to her.

  “I can’t.” Caitlyn lowered her eyes, humiliated by the way her voice broke. This was too complicated for her.

  He let her off the hook. “When did you first realize you were submissive?”

  She clasped her hands together in her lap, trying to resist this. Sadly, she didn’t want to. While she had tried to explain her desires to Sammy, it was obvious he’d never truly understood them, never gotten what made her tick.

  There was something about Lucas that made her want to reveal all her secrets. Probably because there wasn’t a doubt in her mind he was the man she’d been looking for her entire life.

  No.

  Not man.

  Dom.

  While she disagreed with pretty much everything he stood for—greed and power and squeezing out the little guy—none of those things made it any easier for her to resist him. Because she desperately wanted what he could offer her in the bedroom.

  “I guess I—”

  “Look at me when you answer, Cait.”

  Her gaze returned to his face. It was soft and hard at the same time, which left her even more confused.

  “High school. I dated a boy for several months my junior year. He was a year older, controlling, jealous. He wasn’t acting that way because he was a Dom. The truth is he was a jerk, but I felt aroused by…weird things.”

  “Like what?”

  “We got into a fight once. He saw me talking to some guy in the cafeteria. He went berserk, yelling at me. I was fed up with him so I turned around, started to walk away. He grabbed my arm and twisted me back to face him. He pushed me against the wall of the school and kissed me hard. Told me I belonged to him.”

  “And while you didn’t like the guy, you liked what he was saying. Liked the rough edge, the control.”

  She nodded. “My parents…”

  Lucas leaned closer. “Your mother is a sub.”

  “Yes. I’ve never witnessed anything outright between them, but I just know. It was my mom who pulled me aside when things with that first boyfriend got out of hand. She said some of my feelings weren’t wrong, but he was.”

  “Smart lady.”

  “The problem is all the men I’ve dated in my life have been the wrong ones. The first two guys couldn’t wrap their heads around what I wanted from them. They thought I was asking for them to abuse me. They were nice guys who just didn’t get it. And while Sammy was game, he wasn’t a natural Dom. It always felt like I was in control, telling him what to do.”

  “Topping from the bottom.”

  Caitlyn sighed.

  “Why do you say you can’t do this with me? Is it because of the pub? Your family?”

  “Partly.”

  He raised one eyebrow, telling her without words he expected her to tell him the whole truth.

  “The other part of me is terrified because of that whole ‘be careful what you wish for’ adage. I know you can give me what I want. But…”

  “You think I’m the wrong man too.”

  “Will you give up on the pub?”

  “No.”

  She hated and respected his complete honesty.

  “Cait, I would never force myself on an unwilling woman.”

  “I didn’t insinuate—”

  “I want you to lift the hem of your dress and part your legs.”

  The tablecloth was long, and they were completely alone in the room. The placement of the table was perfect because no one could see them even if they walked in. However, the waiter could come back at any moment, and if he approached the table, he would see what they were doing.

  She’d never indulged in this sort of play in public. She and Sammy limited their sexual experimentation to their apartment.

  “Pick a safe word.” He acted as if the decision had already been made.

  “I told you—”

  “Blue. Your safe word is blue. Say that, and I’ll look into those soul-stealing eyes of yours and deny you nothing.”

  Caitlyn struggled to get air into her lungs. She was light-headed, her vision going fuzzy. If she didn’t remember how to breathe soon, she’d pass out.

  “The decision is yours, Cait. I’ve made the request. If you do as I ask, I want you to understand you’re saying yes not only to me touching you here in the restaurant, but to me taking you home tonight. To me claiming control of your body, your pleasure, your pain, your orgasms…even your mind.”

  “And if I don’t want that?”

  “Keep your legs closed and we’ll simply continue to enjoy each other’s company.”

  “And at the end of the night?”

  “I’ll take you home and kiss you good night.”

  He was offering her everything she’d always wanted sexually and feared she’d never find. Lucas told her last night that everyone had a bottom line. He’d found hers in just twenty-four hours. If she opened her legs, she would have the opportunity to experience a night in the arms of a true Dom.

  What if she never got this chance again? She was nearly thirty-three and she’d never met a man like Lucas.

  Regardless, she needed a safety net.

  “If I go home with you…” her words came out haltingly, hesitantly.

  “Yes?”

  “It’s just for tonight.”

  Lucas scowled. “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t want more than tonight. No more sex. No more dates. Nothing. We both return to opposite sides of the battle and this is over.”

  She could tell he wanted to argue, to refuse her request. If anyone asked her, Caitlyn would swear she didn’t do one-night stands. To her, sex was an extension of emotion. She had to feel something for the men she went to bed with.

  But she couldn’t let herself feel anything for Lucas beyond desire. If she did, it would consume her, swallow her whole, leave her in ruin.

  She tugged the skirt of her dress lower, pressing her knees together so tightly her thigh muscles burned.

  Lucas’s gaze dropped to her lap, and his frown grew more pronounced. “One night.”

  She’d never heard two words laced with such disdain, such anger, but Lucas had agreed to her condition.

  “Say your safe word. Let me hear it.”

  “Blue,” she whispered.

  “Open your legs.”

  Caitlyn didn’t even try to hide her trembling hands. The response had absolutely nothing to do with fear and apparently Lucas knew it. He’d given her the word, the way out.

  That knowledge made it easier for her to let go, to stop trying to control her emotions, her panting breaths, her shaking hands.

  She slid the hem of the skirt all the way to her waist and parted her legs. She didn’t look down. Instead, her gaze was glued to Lucas’s face, desperate to see his reaction when he realized she’d obeyed his command. That she’d left the panties at home.

  Caitlyn had expected him to smile, to give some sign that he was pleased or even that he’d won, that he’d gotten his way. What she got was more potent, more dangerous, and for a split second, she considered saying her safe word.

  Lucas’s eyes rose to hers, and she knew in that instant, she was lost.

  Lucas cupped her cheek with one hand and mouthed the word, “Mine.”

  4

  He was a fucking liar.

  Lucas had promised Caitlyn one night, but that wasn’t going to happen. There was no way he was going to let her walk away from him so easily. There was too much he wanted to do with her, and they weren’t going to touch the tip of the iceberg tonight.

  She was shaking, breathing heavily as her chest rose and fell rapidly. He could almost im
agine he saw the pulse in her neck beating roughly from her pounding heart. She was afraid. Not of what he’d do, but of what he’d make her feel.

  And feel she would.

  The flat of his hand on her bare ass.

  His fingers gripping her hair, pulling it until her scalp burned.

  His cock fucking her pussy, her ass, her mouth.

  His lips and teeth on her nipples. They were budded, poking through the thin material of her dress, daring him to take a bite.

  There was no part of her he wouldn’t claim.

  Caitlyn wasn’t the type of woman to give up control easily, though it was clear she desperately wanted to. If he hoped to ensnare her, to keep her, he would have to show her that she was wrong.

  He was the perfect man for her in bed.

  The only man for her.

  Her pussy was trimmed, but he preferred it completely shaved. Perhaps he’d take care of that himself tonight.

  He glanced across the room, at the reflection in the glass doors covering the shelves of wine. It gave him the perfect view of the door and the hallway, allowing him to see the waiter approaching before he entered the room.

  Lucas hadn’t merely called to make the reservation. He’d come in person earlier this afternoon in order to set everything up according to his wishes.

  Caitlyn would experience trepidation about the possibility of someone walking in on them and that would fuel her excitement. Her nervousness. She didn’t need to know that he was protecting her modesty. Like right now.

  He tugged her dress back down and placed her napkin on her lap mere seconds before the waiter returned with the next course.

  “Iberico chorizo,” the waiter said as he placed the sausage in front of them. While it looked delicious, garnished with arugula, fresh tomatoes and rosemary, Lucas doubted he’d even taste it.

  He was too focused on Caitlyn’s submission. She was inexperienced, yet Caitlyn knew who she was, what she wanted in bed. She simply hadn’t found the right man to give it to her.

  God willing, he intended to be that man. He’d played with quite a few subs over the years, just as he’d had some fairly vanilla affairs. Lucas was dominant by nature and he enjoyed control in the bedroom, but he didn’t need it. He didn’t want a slave 24/7. For him, D/s games were not a lifestyle, nor would they ever be.