Can't Let Go

by A. P. Jensen

  “I told you-”

  She wrenched away. “I don’t care what you told me. I can’t believe I got into this with you again!”

  “Mr. Price, we’re about to land,” a timid stewardess informed them.

  They both sat in stony silence, neither looking at the other. Evie roused when they landed and Grace couldn’t wait to be away from Mitchell and the slap of sweet memories and nightmares he roused in her. As soon as the door opened and the steps were let down, Grace hurried forward. She stepped in the doorway and was glad for her sunglasses because she was met with dozens of paparazzi. Even behind her dark lenses, her eyes squinted against the blinding flashes of light. She turned Evie’s face into her chest and heard Mitchell growling behind her.

  “There’s a car waiting,” Max yelled over sound of the crowd.

  Mitchell took Evie from her and she let him because walking down the steps with a now fussing Evie didn’t appeal to her. When they reached the bottom of the steps Mitchell put his arm around her. She stiffened in preparation to pull away but he tightened his hold warningly.

  “I can get a cab,” Grace yelled up at him.

  He shot her a bad tempered glance. “No.”

  When they reached his car he got in with Evie so she would be forced to follow.

  “You’re a bully,” she shot at him as she settled in the seat across from him.

  “And you don’t know when to give up.” He looked down at Evie and his mouth curved. “How are you doing, baby?”

  She refused to let her heart melt as she watched them together. Evie was entranced by his strength, his deep voice and she liked digging through his pockets to find high tech toys.

  “How are you going to do this with her?” Mitchell kept his eyes on Evie who pounded his phone against his chest.

  “I’ll have to get a nanny,” Grace had a headache already starting at her temples. She had so much stuff to do and she had no idea where to start.

  “You’re not going to work tomorrow, are you?”

  “I was going to go in today to check on a few things but,” her stomach rocked with anxiety. “I think I have to sleep first.” To distract herself she took Evie from him.

  “Maybe I can-”

  “No!” She looked away when he scowled at her. She didn’t want him helping her, she didn’t want to see him at all. “I can handle this.”

  The car slowed and she sprung for the door before Mitchell could and was out of the car before the driver could come around.

  “So, thanks for everything,” she said and hurried into her building with Evie in her arms.

  She breathed a sigh of relief as she headed for the elevator. She pressed the button and jumped when Mitchell and several guards laden with her and Evie’s suitcases stepped up beside her. In awkward silence they rode to her floor. She unlocked her door and let Mitchell and his men set the suitcases down.

  “Thanks for that,” she said lamely as the guards filed out.

  Mitchell stared down at her and she walked away and set Evie on the floor. She took off down the hallway and Mitchell followed.

  “What are you doing?” Grace called and stopped in the doorway of Evie’s new room.

  It was beautiful. The room was done in shades of lavender and white and Mitchell set Evie in her new playpen. Evie did a face plant into a pile of soft stuffed animals and chattered delightedly.

  “It’s great,” Grace said, looking around.

  “It is,” Mitchell agreed and walked purposefully towards her.

  She stiffened in alarm as he paused so close she could feel his body heat. He wrapped his arms around her, lifted her off her feet and pinned her against the wall. She stared up at him with huge eyes as he cupped her face in one hand and kissed her. It was a kiss like no other. It was possessive and branding. He pressed himself against her and she groaned at the contact. When he pulled away they were both breathing hard.

  “If you need anything, call me,” he said.

  He touched her feet to the floor and without another word, walked out of the nursery. A moment later she heard the front door close. Trembling, she leaned against the wall for support and saw Evie standing in the playpen grinning at her.

  Chapter Nine

  It felt so strange having Evie in her condo. After she left Mitchell she bought a condo near the boutique and made it her haven where she could lick her wounds in private. It was decorated in soothing tones and the water fountain beside the entrance always helped her relax. Not anymore. Gone was the peace and quiet. Instead, Evie filled the rooms with chaos, delight and a trail of toys that Grace was constantly stepping on by accident.

  Unable to repress the urge to get back to work, to her comfort zone and where she excelled, she took Evie into her office. She could get a head start for tomorrow, she reasoned. There were phone calls to return, emails to answer and so on. She thought Evie wouldn’t get into any trouble in the small room but she was wrong. Evie toppled a mannequin wearing an expensive designer dress and pulled several important files off the shelf. Papers scattered and were instantly smeared with jelly.

  Giving in, Grace left the office and closed the door in a bid to protect her work from Evie. She fed Evie and just finished changing her diaper in the nursery when her doorbell rang. Her heart thudded. Was it Mitchell or Ray? With Evie on her hip she rose on her tiptoes to look through the peephole and let out an excited gasp. She tugged the door open.

  Amy stood in the doorway with a cup of Grace’s favorite coffee and a bouquet of colorful flowers. Amy stared goggle eyed from Evie to Grace and back again.

  “I know I’ve seen pictures of her but I can’t believe how much you two look alike,” Amy said.

  Grace smiled and gave Amy a one armed hug. “How did you know I came in?”

  Amy grinned. “You’re on the evening news, honey. You’re famous again.”

  Grace scowled. Amy ignored her in favor of coaxing Evie into her arms. Evie hesitated for a moment before she went to Amy. Grace snickered when she saw Amy’s face melt.

  “Can I keep her?” Amy murmured and handed over the flowers.

  “No,” Grace said.

  She put the flowers in a vase and took a huge gulp of coffee. She had to admit that New York did have its perks. She joined Amy on the couch where Evie immediately began to “share” her toys with Amy.

  “I’m sorry about Casey,” Amy said gently.

  Grace blew out a breath and nodded, automatically trying to control the urge to cry. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

  Amy nodded in understanding. “I never saw you as the baby type.”

  “Exactly!” Grace slumped into the couch cushions and kept an eye on Evie as she crawled away. “I hope I don’t screw her up.”

  “Just because your parents are crazy doesn’t mean you are.”

  Grace tapped her hands restlessly on her stomach. “I was trying to get to my emails and messages but Evie started destroying my office so I have to wait until she goes to sleep.”

  Grace shot up as Evie tried to drink from the water fountain. Amy’s brows raised as she looked around Grace’s formerly organized home. There were toys everywhere, bottles, diapers and a sprinkling of baby powder on the floor.

  “How are you going to do this, Grace?” Amy asked.

  Grace set Evie on the floor brought in front of the couch and blocked Evie’s path back to the fountain with her body. Evie huffed and sat on her butt and looked up at her aunt.

  “I need a nanny,” Grace said. “I can’t do this by myself.”

  Amy nodded. “My sister had a great live in nanny, Maggie. My sister moved and Maggie hasn’t been able to get another job.”

  Grace frowned. “Live in? I don’t know about that.”

  Privacy had always been important to her and at the moment, it felt blown to bits. She was on the news, she had a very active seven month old who didn’t understand that Prada shoes were sacred and now she was going to have another person in her home?

  Amy shrugged.
“You don’t have to but eventually you might need it.” She glanced pointedly around the room.

  Grace glanced around and relented. “You’re probably right. I’m going to need help with Evie and the house now. I’ll see how I feel after I meet her. Now, how’s business?”

  Grace went to grab a notebook as Amy began a rundown of things that needed her immediate attention. They had to stop several times to rescue Evie from tipping over statues, climbing on furniture and chewing on Amy’s shoes.

  “You are going to have your hands full,” Amy observed, brushing sweaty strands of hair from her eyes. “I think you’re handling all of this really well. I don’t know how you’re even functioning at this point. I’d be freaking out.”

  “I am but I’m just too tired to show it,” Grace said past a yawn.

  Amy eyed her dubiously. “You think you’re coming into the office tomorrow?”

  Grace looked down at Evie and then let out a sigh. “I have to go into the office. I’m so behind. I need to talk to Maggie as soon as possible.”

  Amy wrote Maggie’s number on a notepad and then eyed Grace over her own cup of coffee. “So?”

  “So what?” Grace said uneasily.

  Amy slapped her leg. “Don’t even try to front with me. I know what Mitchell did to you so how the hell did he end up with you in Texas?”

  “He knew I was supposed to be at a function that night. He came over and found me just staring off into space after I found out about Casey.” The memory was so raw she had to stop. When she had her emotions under control she continued, “He had a jet so I went with him.”

  “So are you…?” Amy asked.

  “No.” Her voice was so flat that Amy winced in sympathy.

  “I don’t know what to make of him. He acted like an ass to you and now he wants you back? And men say we’re complicated!” Amy huffed.

  “You’re telling me.”

  By the time Evie settled down for the night, Grace was over weary. She debated skipping a shower because she was so tired but realized that wasn’t something she could compromise when she smelled like sour milk.

  She felt halfway human after her shower. Her bedroom was across from the nursery and she had a unit to hear if Evie stirred. Despite how tired she was, she couldn’t sleep once she slipped into bed. She tossed and turned and finally went into the nursery and settled on the couch where she could see for herself that Evie was fine. She fell asleep at once.

  Why had she thought getting herself ready in the morning was a chore? Add an alert seven month old to your morning and your twenty minute morning routine was shot to hell. Evie woke after five hours of sleep and howled in her pen until Grace set her down on the floor where she promptly took off to trash her new home.

  By seven that morning Grace was at her wit’s end. She hadn’t realized how much those ten minutes Mitchell used to take Evie helped her. She couldn’t even go the bathroom or brush her hair or teeth without Evie getting into some kind of mischief. Evie was determined to explore every inch of her new surroundings to the point where she howled in protest when she was met with a hallway full of closed doors. Evie wanted to be anywhere but the nursery which was baby proofed.

  Grace’s first call that morning was to the nanny Maggie who said she could be there in two hours for the interview. Grace attempted to make herself decent and clean the house before Maggie arrived. She felt uneasy about leaving Evie with a stranger but she had no choice and she couldn’t stay here with Evie- she had to go to work.

  Evie finally settled on Grace’s lap as she went through her emails when the doorbell rang. With Evie on her hip she answered the door and got a look at her potential new favorite person. Maggie had her gray hair pulled into a thick bun on her head and wore khakis, crocs and a cardigan. She didn’t look particularly friendly as Evie opened the door.

  “The cab from Jersey was expensive. I hope you’re paying for my way back since I came here on such short notice,” Maggie said.

  Grace blinked. Maggie’s Jersey accent was thick and she had a no nonsense attitude that made Grace picture the elderly women that sat on their porches and yelled at neighborhood kids to behave.

  “Sure,” Grace said.

  Maggie’s dark eyes looked from Grace to Evie and back again.

  “I thought you said she was your niece,” Maggie said with a confused frown.

  “She is.”

  Grace stepped back so Maggie could come in. Maggie wasn’t the gentle grandmother Amy led her to believe she was.

  “This is some place,” Maggie said, looking around with a sneer on her face.

  Grace raised her brows. She’d been raised on the street and wasn’t intimidated by Maggie’s bluntness. Hadn’t she sneered at Mitchell’s penthouse the first time he’d taken her there? She wasn’t sure why but she found herself taking to Maggie against her better judgment. They both settled on the couch and Maggie eyed Evie.

  “Let’s see if this will work,” Maggie said and simply held her hands out to Evie.

  Grace loosened her hold on Evie and watched the baby cock her head as she looked at the forbidding older woman. Baby and nanny were locked in a staring match for a long minute before Maggie cracked. A smile stretched her mouth.

  “Stubborn, is she?” Maggie sounded approving.

  Grace nodded and was surprised when Evie crawled over the cushion to Maggie and let the woman pick her up.

  “So why exactly do you need me?” Maggie asked.

  “I need to go to work and I can’t work with Evie around.” She didn’t like the guilt in her voice or the defensiveness.

  Maggie nodded at Evie as if they’d reached some kind of agreement and then fixed her gaze on Grace.

  “This baby’s so exhausted she doesn’t even know it. You too. What happened?” Maggie asked bluntly.

  Grace blinked. “What?”

  “I’ve raised more kids than you ever will. It’s what I do and I know this baby is stressed. You’re not looking too good yourself. Where’s her mother?”

  Grace felt the tears rise so she rose and paced to the window. With her back to the woman who was far too perceptive for her own good she said, “Evie’s mother died last week. I’m her new guardian.”

  A short silence and then, “Do you have any experience with babies?”

  Grace turned. “No. I need help. I run a boutique a couple blocks from here and I work at least fifty to sixty hours a week. I’ve been gone for almost two weeks to take care of my sister and now that I’m back I have to get back to work.”

  “So you need a live in,” Maggie said.

  Grace paused. “I don’t know what I need.”

  “I’m not catching a cab from Jersey every day,” Maggie snapped.

  Grace folded her arms across her chest. “We don’t know each other and I don’t know how this usually works. Is there a trial period or something?”

  “We’ll both know within a week,” Maggie said with a shrug. “Where’s my room?”

  Feeling disoriented and relieved Grace led Maggie down the hallway to a guest room and pushed the door open. Maggie whistled when she caught sight of the room and stared at the connecting bathroom for a reverent moment.

  “These are some fancy rooms. You sure you want me to have this one?”

  “At this point, you could have my room if you can help me,” Grace said as her cell began to ring.

  “So I’ll keep Evie entertained. Are you going into the office?” Maggie said briskly.

  “I think I’ll work in the office mostly,” Grace said distractedly, running through her schedule. “I may have to go to the boutique but I’m not sure yet.”

  “Go off and do your thing. I’ll keep Evie occupied and if I have a question I’ll come and ask. At some point today I will have to go back to Jersey to get a couple of things.”

  Grace nodded and rubbed her temples as her phone began to ring again and then beep. “Whenever you need to go, just come and get me. If you think you or Evie needs something, let me
know.” She examined Evie who was watching Maggie quietly. “Thanks.”

  Still dressed in her robe Grace went into her office and left it open a crack so she could hear Evie and Maggie. She ran through her emails first, replied to the one that needed immediate attention and then listened to her voicemails. She made a list of things that needed to be done and got to work.

  “Grace?”

  Grace turned immediately from her computer and saw Maggie standing in the doorway. “Where’s Evie?”

  “Asleep. Its four. If I’m going to be a live in nanny I need to get my things,” Maggie said.

  Grace stretched and walked towards Maggie and stopped in the entrance to the living room. The room was back to its former orderliness and it smelled faintly of lemon. Grace walked to the nursery and peeked in to see that Evie was indeed snoring softly in her playpen.

  “How was everything?” Grace asked.

  Whenever Grace was involved in business she became consumed by it. In that respect she and Mitchell were identical. It was another reason she thought she wouldn’t be a good mother. What child wanted a workaholic mother? Grace was oblivious to almost everything when she was working.

  Maggie shrugged. “Evie’s a good baby. Bright, restless and moody but I can see why when she’s going through so much. We’ll do well together.”

  Grace smiled in relief. “That’s great. I’ll get dinner ready.”

  Maggie raised her brows. “You can cook?”

  “Not anything fancy,” Grace warned.

  She thought she’d feel panicked at the thought of having a stranger move into her home but there was something trustworthy about Maggie. Grace felt as if she’d met the older woman somewhere in her past but that was impossible. Grace was so relieved to find someone who could handle Evie that she felt a weight lift from her shoulders. Of course she would be involved but she needed the time to run her business as well and that’s where Maggie came in. All would be well now.

  For the first week Grace worked from home and rarely left the condo. A part of her was reluctant to leave Evie and she felt guilty for all the hours she spent on the computer and phone so she took a lot of breaks to help Maggie and assure herself that Evie was well. Each time she pried herself away from work to help, Maggie looked surprised but didn’t comment.