Silver Heart

by Green, Victoria

  “So what do you suggest my first big risk should be?” I whispered.

  “I think you know the answer to that,” he replied immediately. “Me. Let it be me.”

  With those words, he wrapped his arms around my waist and guided me onto his lap. The moment his lips touched mine, my mind cleared of all doubts.

  At first, his kiss was hard, insatiable, but then his lips softened and his tongue slowed to a more leisurely pace. He kissed me like he had all the time in the world, like he wanted to savor the taste of me, as if he wanted to assure me that taking a risk on him will turn out just fine.

  When we pulled apart, he grinned mischievously. “Your next challenge: off-trail snowboarding. “Tonight. Seven o’clock. I’m going to show you what losing control really feels like.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  “In how many more languages do I have to scream the phrase: ‘I’m going to die!’ before you actually believe me?” I called out to Sawyer. “There’s no way I’ll make it down in one piece!”

  We were standing at the peak of a secluded hill miles away from the safety of the Whistler-Blackcomb resort, surrounded by snow-covered trees. Trees around us, trees below us, trees every-freaking-where.

  For some inexplicable reason, Sawyer expected me to be able to snowboard through them. I could barely make it down a beginner hill without falling on my ass. How was I supposed to survive an entire forest of thick trunks and thorny pine needles?!

  A rickety chairlift had taken up a group of seven of us, but now Sawyer and I were the only two riders left at the summit. Everyone else had made it down at least once already. Even Maddie, under the tutelage of one of Sawyer’s friends, looked like she was having the time of her life. I could see her bright red gloves waving at me from one of the chairs as she ascended back up for another round.

  “You can go ahead,” I told Sawyer, shifting my weight to my heels and sinking down on my butt. “I’ll just wait here for the Snow Patrol to come and rescue me.”

  “I’m not leaving you, Silver,” he growled. “Let’s go.”

  “What if I lose control of my board and slam face-first into a tree?”

  “What if you don’t?” he countered. “What if you finally let go and actually end up having some fun? Would that be so tragic?”

  “Knowing me, I’ll end up—”

  “Knowing you, you’ll do just fine,” he said, cutting me off. “That is, once you relax.”

  “Therein lies the problem.” Ever since my talk with Adam I’d found it hard to relax and focus on anything else except the thought that I had no idea what I was doing in life.

  Where the fuck was I heading next? Right. Down the hill to my untimely death.

  “Really, Sawyer. Go have fun with your friends,” I said, nodding at a group of guys expertly weaving through the trees. “I’ll just carry my board down the hill.”

  “Stop telling me what to do. I’m the instructor today,” he chastised. “And I’m having fun. With you. I snowboard with those guys all the time. I’d been waiting six years to do this with you.”

  “But—”

  He placed both hands on his hips and sighed deeply. “Do I have to carry your ass down the hill, Silver? Because I will. One way or another, we’re going down together,” he said as he released his bindings and stepped out of his snowboard. The snow creaked under the weight of his boots as he made his way over to me. “Come here.” He hooked his hands under my arms and hoisted me to my feet. “I’m going to lead you down. Just like we used to do before.”

  My body immediately stiffened. In response, Sawyer placed a gloved finger under my chin and lifted my face to his. “Silver, look at me. You can take on anything you set your mind to. You’ve proven that time and time again. Just relax. You can’t be so tense. You’re not going to get anywhere if you keep locking up your entire body like that. I’m going to leave my board here and guide you down.”

  “Don’t let go,” I ordered.

  “I won’t. I promise.”

  Slowly—very, very slowly—I began to conquer the hill. Once I started to relax a little, Sawyer let go of my hands and allowed me full command of my board. I even managed a few turns, though not without collecting some more bruises. By the time we met up with the rest of the group at the base of the hill, the chairlift was already shutting down for the night. For my one run, Sawyer’s friends had amassed at least ten. Even Maddie managed four trips.

  “We’re gonna grab something to eat,” one of the guys told Sawyer. “You coming?”

  “You can go ahead,” he replied. “Silver and I are going to do one last run.”

  “What?” I gasped. “No!”

  Sawyer grinned. “Yes!”

  I was about to protest again, when Maddie hobbled over to us. “My boot is chafing and my stomach is sounding pretty pissed. Is it okay if I go out and eat with them?” she asked me. “Can Sawyer drive you back to the cabin?”

  I shook my head and bent down to unclasp my bindings. “We’ll all go together. Now.”

  “My board is still up there,” Sawyer said, placing his hand over mine to stop me. “One more run, Silver. I promise to deliver you back to Maddie in one piece. And maybe even buy you dinner on the way home.”

  “You mean breakfast,” I corrected him. “By the time I get down again it’ll be tomorrow morning!”

  “If I’m buying you breakfast it’ll be for reasons that have nothing to do with snowboarding,” he whispered in my ear, sending a rush of warmth through me.

  “I’m leaving you in Sawyer’s capable, manly hands.” Maddie patted me on the back, then turned to Sawyer and delivered the most obvious wink I’d witnessed in my life. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

  I laughed. “More like don’t do anything you would do, Mads.”

  Sawyer returned Maddie’s wink. “Rest assured that my intentions with Miss Silver are most honorable.” His devilish smirk countered his attempt at Southern charm. “Let’s go.”

  He ran over to the chairlift just as the operator announced that they were shutting down for the night. Sawyer convinced her to keep the lift going until we were at the top, promising that he’d ensure we both got down safely. She seemed hesitant at first, but the moment he fixed his gaze on her and flashed his grin, her resolve melted.

  I cursed his charm once we were back at the top of the hill and my certain demise loomed ahead.

  “I’m going to go halfway down and wait for you,” he announced. “Clear your mind. Don’t think about anything. Focus on the moment. Think you can do that?”

  I wanted nothing more than to do that. Hell, right now, I needed to let go.

  Inhaling a deep, icy breath, I said, “Yes, I can.” I’d never felt more certain. If I managed to conquer my fear of the snowboard, perhaps I could also triumph over the rest of my worries. “I will.”

  “Good. Stay low and keep loose,” Sawyer instructed.

  “Do you say that to all the girls you take up here?” I joked in an attempt to calm my nerves.

  His laugh was deep and gravelly. “Only the special ones.”

  With that, he pushed off and carved his way down the hill faster than the speed of light. I was actually unable to keep up with all of his moves. Halfway through the forest, he dug his edge into the snow, and came to an immediate halt. White powder sprayed from the bottom of his board, coating a large pine tree.

  “Your turn, Silver!” he called from below.

  I took a few more breaths and willed my heart to stop trying to cut its way through my chest. Then I bent my knees and side-slipped to the first tree. Unable to gain enough momentum, I was forced to come to a stop before going very far.

  “You’re thinking too much,” Sawyer yelled. “Turn off your mind, relax your body, and try again.”

  I focused on his voice and angled my board down the hill. It began to slide, picking up more speed as it traveled over the smooth, white snow. Bending my knees, I placed all my weight on my toe edge and twisted my hips so that
the board pointed back up to the summit. It was a shaky turn, but it was a turn nonetheless.

  Sawyer’s clap echoed through the air. “Keep going! Quit holding your breath!”

  I repeated the motion, this time with my weight on my heel edge. My hips rotated, increasing the speed of the board as I made the next turn. And the next. As my velocity increased, both the snowboard and the turns suddenly became harder to control.

  “Watch out for those trees!” I heard Sawyer yell just as my shoulder clipped a branch.

  My knees buckled; the snowboard jerked from underneath me. I waved my arms around, grasping for balance as my butt connected with the ground. I rolled a couple of times, experiencing a rough tug on my right knee joint.

  “Shit! Shit! Shit!” I unbuckled my helmet and hurled it at the tree that had caused me to fall. My gloves followed, though my throws weren’t powerful enough to reach the branch that had wronged me. Groaning, I sank back into the snow and covered my face with my hands.

  Sawyer had abandoned his snowboard and was beside me within seconds. “Hey, hey,” he soothed, sinking into the snow next to me. “Are you okay?”

  “No,” I grumbled.

  He stripped off his gloves and unclasped my board, letting it slide a few feet below us. Then he placed his arm around my shoulder and pulled me to him. “Don’t get upset,” he said as he kissed my forehead. “That was awesome.”

  “I suck. This freaking piece of crap board just doesn’t want to cooperate with me.” I wasn’t used to losing and it pissed me off.

  “It wasn’t your fault. It was that damn tree,” He smiled down at me. “Want me to throw some more things at it?”

  I dug my face into his hoodie and groaned. “How many times have we tried this before? I’ll never get down a single hill without falling.”

  He tapped my head with his finger. “Because you’re thinking too hard. You’re worrying about being perfect and you’re forgetting to enjoy yourself.”

  “And how do you suggest I enjoy myself?” I sat up and dug my hands into the snow, crushing the cold ice shards between my fingers.

  Sawyer propped himself up and slid behind me, capturing my hips between his thighs. Placing his arms around my waist, he pulled me flush against his body into an embrace from behind.

  We stayed in that position for a while, him with his chin resting on my shoulder as I drowned in his familiar scent. I may have been pissed at the snow, but I loved Sawyer’s wintry smell. Closing my eyes, I inhaled it, immediately feeling a warm sense of comfort spread through my body.

  “Do you like snowboarding?” he murmured into my ear. His warm breath washed over me, melting my insides.

  Leaning deeper into him, I rested the back of my head against his chest and nodded. “I do,” I replied honestly.

  He slowly unzipped my jacket and guided it down my shoulders. Sliding my hair to one side, he pressed his mouth to my neck. “What do you like about it?” he asked as his teeth grazed my skin. The shock of the cold air mixing with his heat caused me to shiver.

  “It’s…challenging,” I whispered, inhaling sharply as his warm lips sucked on my pulse.

  “What else?” With his mouth still firmly on my neck, his fingers slid down to my front, toying with the heavy-duty zipper of my snow pants.

  “It’s something I don’t get right away.” My voice was low and hoarse in response to his touch. “I guess that makes me want to conquer it.”

  “You’re a warrior, Silver. Always have been.” As his lips claimed the side of my jaw, my hips instinctively pushed forward, nudging his hand on.

  His chest shook as he let out a small chuckle. “I need to hear more before I go any further.” Despite his words, his fingers slid under the waistband of my pants in a playful tease, making me ache for his touch.

  “I also like the freedom it represents,” I added, pushing my back deeper into him. “And I love…” I reminded myself to breathe. “I love that it’s connected to you, Sawyer. That’s my favorite thing about snowboarding.”

  He rewarded my response with a husky groan. My zipper ripped open and his kisses grew more intense, drawing out soft moans from the back of my throat. Frosty air washed over the exposed skin of my stomach, though as his right hand slid down my front, I felt nothing but warmth between my thighs.

  “The only thing that’ll make you better at snowboarding is to learn to relax.” His palm glided over the thin material of my underwear, cupping me from above and firmly jerking me to him. My backside was flush against his front, and even though all of our heavy winter gear I could feel his arousal.

  “Can you do that, Silver?” His voice rasped against my ear as his fingers skated along the side of my panties. “Can you let go?” Wrapping my hair around his other hand, he gently tugged my head to the side so that our lips could meet. His tongue greeted mine with a primal hunger that shook my entire core. I clenched his hand between my thighs, only managing an excited moan in response.

  “Can you?” he repeated as he treaded his index finger under the fabric of my underwear. “For me?” I rocked my hips against him and nodded.

  “Is that a yes?” He bit down on my bottom lip while slowly plunging his finger deep into my warmth.

  “Yes, Sawyer,” I whimpered his name as he thrust into me. “For you.” I was rewarded with a second finger, matching the intensity and speed of the first.

  “Clear your mind,” he whispered in my ear while he stroked me. His left hand released its grip on my hair and soared under my sweater, pressing me tightly against his chest. His ragged breathing accelerated and the wild beat of his heart grew stronger.

  “Right now, nothing else exists,” he said as his mouth connected with my neck. “Only the sound of my voice,” he hummed against me, burying his fingers deeper into me. “The power of my touch.” His other hand slid under my sports bra, claiming my breast. I gasped and squirmed in place as he trapped my nipple between his thumb and forefinger, stroking the sensitive nerves, causing the already hard peaks to grow even stiffer. “Just this. Just us.”

  “Just us,” I repeated, rocking my hips to match the timing of his strokes.

  “I want you to feel like that when you’re on that board,” he coached, intensifying his grip on my nipple. His touch teetered on a maddening threshold between pleasure and pain. “It’s just you soaring through the snow with nothing on your mind.” The chairlift had stopped running long ago, and I was suddenly thankful for all the trees around us that helped smother my cries of pleasure.

  “Nothing…on my mind,” I parroted. Right now, the leg-quivering bliss he was bestowing upon me was the only thing spiraling though me. I readjusted my hips and parted my thighs, enabling his hand better access. As his thumb grazed over the sensitive bundle of nerves nestled within my wetness, my hand shot out to grasp his, urging on his touch.

  “Stop fighting for control, Silver.” A wave of cold air rocked my body as he stilled his hand. “I won’t go any further unless I know that you can allow yourself to let go.”

  I nodded hungrily. “I can,” I panted. “I will. Just…don’t stop.” I closed my eyes and let my hands fall to my sides, gritting my teeth in anticipation of his touch. “Please.”

  He pressed his lips to my ear and whispered, “Don’t think. Just feel. Let go and trust me.” My body heaved a sigh of relief when he thrust back into me, and my insides quivered under a touch that was both scorching hot and exhilaratingly cold.

  Sawyer was everywhere—caressing, teasing, demanding all of me. Trapped between his legs, imprisoned within his arms, and enslaved by his lips, I allowed myself to drown in him. Ecstasy became a tangible, reachable sensation as shockwaves of pleasure shot down my legs all the way into my toes.

  But it wasn’t enough. I needed to be even closer; I wanted to merge with his body and possess his mind. Yearning to lose myself in him, I allowed him to claim every ounce of my self-control. My insides tightened, threatening to explode and unravel me from within.

  The n
ight before, I had speculated that the chemistry between Sawyer and me could melt ice. Today, I was certain it was powerful enough to drill a hole straight through the earth and plunge me into the depths of the unknown. I bit down on my bottom lip and shoved my fingers deep into the cold ground, shocking myself back to reality.

  “Stop stifling your moans,” Sawyer ordered, freeing my lower lip with his tongue. “I want to hear how much you’re enjoying yourself.”

  Throwing my head against his chest, I arched my back and allowed him full access to my thoughts and feelings in the form of explicit moans and lustful pants. His name was on the tip of my tongue, savory and sweet, and I allowed it to slip past my lips in accompaniment to a carnal groan.

  “Just like that, Silver.” His breath was hot against my ear, his voice low and husky.

  I’d never felt so much uncontainable pleasure at one time. My entire body shook with a violent urge for release, but Sawyer took his time guiding me there, ensuring that the journey was just as rewarding as the end result. The effect his touch had on me was almost impossible to bear. It quickly usurped all of my need for control. I just wanted to give myself over to him, let him take me wherever he wanted.

  “You feel so good,” he said as I soared into an abyss of ecstasy.

  I felt…I felt…more than good. So many inexplicable emotions pulsated within me in rhythm to Sawyer’s strokes.

  “So wet,” he groaned, sinking his fingers deeper into me. “So tight.” A tantalizing wave of pleasure surged through me, penetrating my soul. “So free,” he whispered breathily.

  For the first time in what felt like forever, my mind was liberated. All I cared about was enjoying the moment, being fully present in the experience of Sawyer’s touch.