“I’m glad you finally decided to let go and be mine, baby,” he breathed as I came, my muscles seizing around him. “No more holding back.” His warm tongue slid into my mouth as he penetrated my soul with those words, unleashing his own release with a loud groan.
Just when I thought we couldn’t climb any higher and outdo the ecstatic madness we had just succumbed to, Sawyer’s hand drifted down. A sizzling spark flashed in his eyes as he claimed the throbbing bundle of nerves between my legs with his fingers, forcing me to gasp and immediately winding up my already volatile state of arousal.
“One minute, Silver,” he said, smirking wickedly. “Plenty of time to make more naughty memories.”
When we exited the gondola, I felt like a changed woman. And not because Sawyer had given me a “record-breaking” ride from one mountain peak to another, consisting of the most explicit, mind-blowing experience that tiny car had probably ever been a part of.
No, that ride was the best ride of my life for a much different reason. Somewhere between the Whistler and the Blackcomb peaks, dangling in mid-air, I had discovered exactly who I was. Something just clicked. Partly because of Sawyer, but also because I finally knew what I wanted to do.
I had to tell my parents that I would not be going on with my studies. I wanted to take the next year to rediscover my love of photography. And Sawyer. It was my goal that both of us would still follow our own dreams, while exploring our joint ones along the way. Together.
And even if Sawyer and I didn’t work out—though I no longer had any doubts that we would—I would be okay because I would have my photography. And even if my photography career ended up being a flop, it wouldn’t matter. My main happiness would be found in following my heart and living the life I wanted.
There was no fear in me anymore. Only excitement.
I was no longer pissed off at fate. Maybe fate wasn’t so bad. After all, if I hadn’t been on the phone with Adam when Sawyer had tried to reach me I would have probably picked up his call and told him not to come back for me. It was Maddie who had told him my exact location in the end. The weird coincidence of events could have been destiny. Or a simple, random chance. Whatever it was, I was grateful.
When we stepped out of the gondola, Sawyer touched my arm, gently pulling me back. “Hey, Silver?”
“Yeah?”
“Come back to me when you have it all figured out,” he said. “Please.”
“I will.”
“I want a chance to love you.”
“And I want a chance to be loved,” I told him honestly.
He looped his fingers through the shoulder strap of my Canon. “I’m going to keep your camera hostage. So I can be sure that you’ll return.”
“I’m going to come back to you. I promise.”
I was going to bid my old life goodbye and take a chance on Sawyer. And my camera.
Scared shitless couldn’t even begin to describe how I felt. But there was also a tiny kernel of excitement blossoming deep within my chest. My body strummed with excitement, swelled with anticipation, and hummed with the desire to let go and just be free.
I was going to lose control, and for the first time in my life I was eagerly anticipating the consequences of this action.
EPILOGUE
“Sawyer Carter, Olympic Gold Medalist,” I said, looking down from atop my seat on the chairlift. “It has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”
Sawyer’s green eyes sparkled as bright white snow reflected off of them. “I guess we’ll see just how nice in a few weeks when I finally compete.”
“My Boyfriend the Olympic Gold Medalist sounds even better.” Laughing, I leaned over the metal partition between us to kiss him.
“I bet I can top that,” he said huskily.
“Oh, yeah? How so?”
“You’ll find out soon enough.” Then he shot me one of his trademark mischievous smirks. “That is, if you manage to dismount the ski lift without falling on your face.”
“So I basically have a fifty percent chance of finding out.” I was a much better snowboarder now—even occasionally venturing on black diamond hills—but chairlifts still had me tripping. Literally.
I looked around the empty hill. “I guess it’s good that no one else is out this early.” We were on a weekend vacation at a small resort known for its early morning opening.
Sawyer smiled. “Why do you think that is?”
“Oh, God! Did you rent out the entire place again?” I gasped, unable to hide my shock.
When Sawyer had first started teaching me to snowboard, he had a habit of taking me to remote resorts and buying out entire runs for an hour or two. Being the only two people on the hill reminded me of our childhood and somehow made it easier to learn.
He nodded. “I wanted to make this a morning to remember. Not to mention, it helps make sure you don’t kill anyone on your way down.”
“Hey! I’ll have you know that I’m an excellent snowboarder. My teacher is very good.”
“But, more importantly, is he hot?”
“Only the hottest,” I replied, and he rewarded me with another kiss.
It had been one year—almost to date—since Sawyer and I had rekindled our friendship and took it to another level, deciding to give “us” a chance. The journey had been riddled with highs and lows and growing pains that were the result of having turned my life completely upside down. Keeping to his promise, Sawyer continued to be the one person I could always count on to keep me grounded.
I’d needed him the most in the first few months after I had announced to my parents that I would not be continuing on with a career in medicine. My attempt at standing up for myself had caused many heated arguments. According to my mother, I was going to destroy my life. Not to mention, ruin all the hard work she and my father had put into giving me every opportunity to succeed. Her words, not mine.
My parents had also ended up blaming Sawyer, connecting his presence in Whistler with my sudden interest in exploring a more “risky lifestyle.” However, together with Adam’s help, we had managed to alleviate some tension. While our relationship was still strained, at least now we were at the point where my father would ask about my photography and Sawyer was allowed to come to family dinners. My mother hadn’t fully thawed yet, but she was gradually beginning to see that I was much happier being a struggling photographer than a dispassionate med student.
And I had been struggling. My life wasn’t some movie in which the conflicted—but lovable—main character decided to drop everything and pursue her dream of photography only to become wildly successful overnight. Developing my skills and getting noticed was a constant grind. But my work was slowly becoming recognized. Most recently, my photographs had appeared in a local gallery in California where we lived while Sawyer trained.
I had also been published in a few indie magazines, and was considering approaching some small publishing companies to discuss my idea for a women’s sports photography book that featured strong athletes like Vivien and Emma as they should be portrayed. Maddie even invited me on her next vacation to visit Connor in Australia and take some pictures of the landscape. Yes, I was struggling, but at least I was trying to follow my dreams.
My life with Sawyer wasn’t a Hollywood movie either. It was, at times, chaotic and messy. But it was also fun. There was an adventure around every corner. Most importantly, I was on the journey with my best friend. My soulmate. The one person I trusted with my happiness. The years we’d spent apart had enabled us to grow as individuals. However, we still had a lot of growing to do. We had decided to do that together.
Dating a professional athlete who juggled a very busy schedule wasn’t easy, but I knew that Sawyer also fully supported my career. He loved it when I pursued my passion for photography, and I loved the fact that I was often able to do so with him by my side. Our jobs would eventually allow us to travel the world—something that I had wanted to do all my life, but never got the chance.
At twenty-
three, the final destination of the road I was on was still somewhat ambiguous. I had an idea where the path would lead, but I no longer had the need for full control over every single step I took. I had suffered from a fear of imperfection for way too long. Trading in the chance for a stable life to chase wild dreams inspired by love may have been a big mistake. But, then again, so was living unhappily.
“Come on, baby,” Sawyer held my hand as we dismounted the lift. I wobbled a bit, but managed to maintain my balance and slide off the hill toward a little cabin behind it.
“What’s this?” I asked.
“It came with the hill.”
“You got us a cabin? Why?”
“For a celebration,” he said, smiling. The color of his teeth matched the brightness of the snow, a perfect contrast to his dark hair.
I glanced around in confusion. “What are we celebrating? You haven’t won any medals yet.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” Sawyer unclasped his bindings and released his snowboard. His eyes never left mine as he took off his gloves, dropping them to the ground, and slowly walked over to me.
“We’re celebrating,” he began as he cupped my face between his warm hands, “the fact that no matter what happens at the Sochi games this month, you’ll always be my most favorite medal, Silver.”
The tightly packed snow crunched as Sawyer sank to his knees. “You were my past,” he said, his green eyes blazing. “And now I’m lucky enough to have you as my present. The most wonderful present I could ever ask for. But I’ve realized that’s not enough.”
“No?” Somewhere during his speech, I had stopped breathing.
He took my hand, entwined his fingers through mine, and pulled me closer. “What I really want is to have you as my future. My entire future; from this day until I am an old man who can’t even ride anymore. And even after that. So...”
With his free hand, he dipped into his jacket pocket and took out a long, red ribbon. Dangling from it, like a medal, was a heart-shaped diamond ring. “Silver Dylan…will you do me the honor of being my favorite medal for the rest of my life?” His voice was low, but his words carried so much meaning and charge they stole my breath away.
I was stunned speechless. Sawyer and I had discussed marriage as something that would eventually happen, but his proposal was unlike anything I had ever expected.
Simple, meaningful, and so very personal.
Our entire past flashed before my eyes in a series of special moments in time. The final picture was our present, and that’s when I found my words. “Yes! Yes, I will!” My answer echoed throughout the hills around us. Smiling, I looked down at him and added, “But only because ‘My Fiancé the Olympic Gold Medalist’ sounds much classier.”
“I was banking on that,” he joked, sliding the ring on my finger and trailing his warm lips over my hand to the inside of my wrist. This ease with which we were able to so fluidly move between intensely serious passion and easy humorous teasing was one of the many reasons why I loved Sawyer Carter.
I knew what made him smile, what wound him up, what turned him on. I knew the old him and the new him, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life knowing him, being with him, and loving him.
“Now for that celebration...” Still kneeling, he released me from my board and threw me over his shoulder. Squealing, I held on to the back of his jacket as he trampled through to snow toward the cabin.
“What’s this?” I gasped when he unlocked the door and set me down. The inside of the cozy cottage sent me traveling back through time to my high school years.
“Remember that Winter Formal I never attended?” he asked. “The one you were so pissed off I missed?”
I nodded. The glowing string lights and hand-crafted banners suddenly made sense.
“I wanted to make it up to you,” he said and gestured around the room. “Cheesy songs, paper snowflakes, and spiked punch included.”
I pointed to the disco ball hanging from the ceiling. “Did we go to school in the eighties or something?”
“Cut me some slack, Silver. I never went to a single dance,” he said, laughing. “It was my best guess as to what the inside of the gym looked like that weekend.”
“What about the bed? How did that piece of furniture make its way into a high school dance?”
“The bed was a bonus that came with the cabin.” He smirked. “I figured we should keep it around. Just in case, of course.”
I liked his thinking, but I wasn’t about to let him know just how much. Not yet, anyway. “You’re insane.” I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t hide the smile tugging at the corners of my lips.
“Insane about loving you.” He pulled me into him and nuzzled my neck. His warm, moist lips made me shiver. “Or at least that’s what I think a high school guy would say to get into a chick’s snow pants,” he murmured against my skin.
“You’re gonna have to work harder than that. I’m wearing layers, baby.” My mouth was saying one thing, but my hands were saying another. Wrapping my arms around Sawyer’s neck, I slowly slid my fingers through his hair, tugging on the silky strands. First gently, then harder until he let out a tiny growl of pleasure.
A deliciously naughty smirk crept onto his face. “Playing hard to get, huh? I guess I’ll just have to tease you until you beg for it.”
He slowly unzipped my jacket and slid it over my shoulders. The heavy fabric hit the ground with a thud. Without looking away from my face, his fingers scaled their way down my sweater to the waistband of my snow pants.
“I’m going to drag this out, baby.” Warmth stirred within me as he unhooked the front buckle of my pants; my hips instinctively responded to his touch by tilting toward his hand.
“Keep still,” he ordered huskily as he pulled down my zipper. “You asked for this.”
With a sharp inhalation of breath, he guided the material over my hips until it fell in a pool at my feet. Crouching down in front of me, he leisurely began to untie my heavy boots, slipping them off my feet one at a time.
The entire time, he held me captive with his eyes, making the heat within me stir and grow in intensity. Even after an entire year together, he could still turn me on with a single look. Just by glancing at me, he could call upon every single cell in my body to respond to him.
He slid the palms of his hands up my black tights and hooked his fingers into the elastic waistband, pulling them down. “So beautiful,” he whispered, gazing at me from below and proving my point as my legs began to tremble.
“Are you cold?” A note of tenderness crept into his voice.
I shook my head. The roaring fireplace was keeping the temperature in the cabin unbearably high. Or perhaps that was just my body’s response to Sawyer’s touch.
“I’m so fucking lucky you’re mine.” He dragged out the sentence so that the duration of his words matched the time it took for his hands to travel up my bare legs from the outside of my ankles to my inner thighs. “So lucky.”
I was simultaneously burning and melting, shivering and aching with mind-numbing sensuality. The only thought in my mind was that it should be illegal to be so good at just touching.
“I love you, Silver Dylan.” His whisper floated from below, enveloping me in its warmth.
I smiled to myself, loving the way he never called me Dylan Silver. “I love you too, Sawyer Carter. More than life itself.”
He was back up on his feet, working the buttons of my sweater. “I love you more than snowboarding. And you know that’s way more important than my life.”
“I know.” I touched the scar on his bottom lip with the pad of my thumb as he removed my sweater. “I know, Sawyer.”
Once I was only in my bra and panties, the intensity of his eyes and hands became unbearable. The most maddening thing about it was that he refused to let me have what I wanted.
The sexy bastard wouldn’t even kiss me.
He brought his lips just close enough to the most erogenous zones in my body to be able to flick his
breath over my nerves and make me squirm with the raw urge to have him inside me. Without a doubt, he got a rise out of teasing the hell out of me until I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Your turn,” I practically swore, diving after him.
I didn’t possess Sawyer’s restraint. Ripping off his hoodie and snow pants, I thanked my lucky stars that he didn’t wear much underneath. Due to his lack of layers, coupled with my excitement to have him, it took no time to strip him down to his boxers.
“That was easier than I expected.” He smirked devilishly. “What happened to making me work hard for it, Silver?”
My eyes dropped to the large, ready bulge straining the material of his boxers. “I think you’ve worked hard enough, don’t you?” The reality was that my own lack of restraint had led us here.
Screw taking things slow. I needed him. Now.
Reaching out behind me to unclasp my bra, I pulled it off and dangled it in the air before letting it drop to the floor. The muscles on Sawyer’s chest tightened as his eyes dropped to my chest. He sucked in a sharp breath as his gaze caressed the valleys and peaks of my breasts, coming to rest on my pointed nipples.
With a soft hiss, he exhaled and muttered something inaudible. Thick, smoky lust filled his voice, drowning out his words, but the electricity in his eyes was response enough to my nakedness.
Excited by his reaction and eager to push more boundaries, I hooked my fingers into the thin strap of material around my waist, slowly starting to pull down my underwear.
“Silver…fuuuuck…” His eyes filled with drunken desire and his face twisted into an almost painful grimace. Time stopped and everything froze.
Then the world exploded.
A loud ripping sound bounced off the walls as Sawyer shredded my panties in half. Picking me up by my waist, he flung me onto the bed in the corner of the room, spreading my thighs wide open and taking a pause to enjoy the view.
“You can’t expect me to control myself around you when you act like that,” he growled right before the warmth of his mouth merged with the heat between my thighs.
Silver Heart Page 23
