Against Me (Cedar Tree Book 3)

by Freya Barker

  "That's great, man," I tell Clint. I've been eager to be able to do some of the detailing and renovations myself, but with this case blowing up, plus Katie in Cedar Tree a little sooner than anticipated and no chance in hell I'd leave her alone anywhere, I'm glad Clint has gotten this far and made it liveable.

  "Can we see?" Katie wants to know eagerly looking around.

  "Yeah sure, just keep an eye on the crap on the floor. Don't want you to spring a leak," he says with a wink for Katie.

  Entering through what is now the front door, beside the big new window that the guys now have shimmed into place, I get my first glimpse of the dream I've been carrying in my mind for years. A huge open space with light streaming in from both sides, exposed beams now all cleaned and stained high above and a rustic large tiled new floor that is hiding a coiled heating system on the ground. I am pleased to see the large stone fireplace built centred on the long wall on the left with it's chimney exposed mostly on the inside going straight up, the height of the barn.

  "I can't believe you got that in already," I tell Clint. "Wouldn't have thought that could be done so fast."

  "We were lucky, I wanted the base laid so the floor could go in, but when the sub came here with his crew and saw he had no additional floors to break through but could go straight up to the roof on this side, he decided to finish right away. Works better for us, one less contractor under foot while we finish up the kitchen.

  Katie is moving around the space taking everything in trying to avoid the odd stack of building materials left out. I walk up to her just as she opens one of the few doors this house will have and goes into the space beyond.

  "What's this?" She eyes the medium sized empty space with one large window and a connecting door to an ensuite bathroom.

  "A spare bedroom or eventually a den, once the upstairs is done and the elevator is in."

  "Is that what the space in the wall at the base of the stairs is for?"

  "Yup," Clint says from behind me having followed us into the room. "Come see the kitchen."

  The space is bright with light coming in from the new sliding doors on the back of the barn and a corner of windows in the kitchen itself. The top cabinets are hanging, giving a rough idea of what the layout will be once finished. All the doors have been stained to match the dark beams in the ceiling but are still missing hardware. Something I wanted to save until last to order, hoping Katie might want to weigh in on that. I look at her and a deep satisfaction fills me. She seems excited and is beaming from ear to ear when she turns to me.

  "This is fantastic! I mean, I've looked at the plans and all, and I have a pretty decent imagination but to see it all come together like this. It's so much better than I thought."

  We chat with Clint about a few more things before getting out of their way. At the door, Clint stops us. "Do you know who a big ratty dog belongs to? Damn thing keeps showing up early in the morning when I drive up, but every time I try to approach him he takes off."

  Katie's face lights up her face at the mention of the ugly mutt.

  "I'm thinking he's waiting for Katie. She's suckered him in," I tell Clint with a smile.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  The next few days were spent picking up bits and pieces of hardware for the kitchen and downstairs bathroom in Cortez, usually coupled with my visits to see Kendra for my therapy, and one trip into Durango to look for some furniture. Most of the shopping was done online though, and I was secretly tickled that Caleb asked me to take the lead on this. Initially I resisted, telling him it wasn't my place to furnish his house, but there was no way Caleb could be swayed from this. What finally persuaded me was the argument that he had no idea when it came to furnishing or decorating since he had mostly rented furnished before. As much as I dislike shopping for clothes and such, given the blank canvass of such a great space to fill was too much fun to resist.

  This morning I'm scheduled for another session with Kendra in Cortez. Things are really starting to progress, I can tell. Each time she's done with me, I can feel more strength in my legs and she seems sure it won't be long before my brain kicks in and remembers the necessary impulses to put one foot in front of the other automatically. I'm driving myself, which I still get excited about. It's such a feeling of independence to be able to get yourself from A to B without needing help and for a change, Caleb is my passenger, although grudgingly so. With him home I'd hardly had a chance to use my car so this morning I put my foot down. He still wouldn't let me go alone.

  "I've gotta be in Cortez anyway, I can drop you off at the clinic, go meet up with Joe and be back to pick you up," he tries to convince me but I'm not that easy.

  "Or I can drive, drop you off at the sheriff's office, and pick you up when you're done. Likelihood is I'll be done before you are, and I'd rather not sit around the clinic waiting for you. Gus is going to be there as well, right? So if you're done earlier, you can always hitch a ride with him."

  "I don't want you on the road alone, Katie."

  "Oh please - I'll be driving in broad daylight in a busy town and I'm carrying. Seriously?"

  That draws an unhappy growl from Caleb, who seems torn between not wanting to insult my abilities and his need to protect me. Kinda sweet.

  "Fine, but if you do leave early, make sure to call or text me before you head back home, and I'll let you know if I'm gonna be longer."

  I try really hard not to gloat when I get behind the wheel, showing him how I'm able to manage by myself, when he tries to do the usual; picking me up and dropping me where he wants me. Still grumbling he folds himself in the much smaller cab of the Rav.

  "Should've gotten you a decent sized truck." That made me laugh out loud.

  "That would kinda defeat the purpose, don't you think? I'd never be able to hoist myself up into anything higher than this. Besides, I love this little SUV, and you're not touching it."

  A smile twitches at the corner of his mouth when he leans over, grabs me by the back of my head and pulls me to his mouth for a panty-melting kiss.

  "Love you. Love the feisty you," he mumbles against my lips, but when I open my mouth to say something in response he swallows my words with another kiss. When he finally pulls back he taps a finger to my nose and jokes, "You're making me late, woman. Let's go."

  When I drop Caleb off at the sheriff's office, he comes around the car and motions for me to roll the window down.

  "Careful?"

  "I promise," I tell him, seeing it is a bit of a struggle for him to let me go on this two-block drive by myself. With a hard kiss on my lips and a knock on the frame, he turns and disappears through the doors, leaving me truly on my own, and mobile. A grin spreads over my face when I think of all the possibilities, but although I'm sure driving to Vegas by myself at the spur of the moment is not the greatest of ideas, I can't say it didn't enter my mind. Instead I turn toward the clinic.

  "I want to try you without a harness today," are Kendra's first words when I come in and they stop me in my tracks. A feeling of panic hits me at the thought of not being secured in that contraption should I not be able to hold myself up, and I guess it shows on my face, because Kendra chuckles, "You'll do fine."

  Yeah well, I'm not so sure about that.

  "Right now your biggest issue with moving forward is your brain."

  I roll my eyes, because she really isn't telling me anything new. "Ya think?" slips out before I can get my lips pressed together hard enough, but it only makes her laugh harder.

  "What I mean is that aside from the obvious, at this point your mind is boycotting your progress because it no longer has faith in your body's abilities―you no longer have faith in your body's abilities. We're gonna change that today."

  Setting me up at one end of the parallel bars where usually she would hook me up, she now simply says, "roll as close in between the bars as you can get and lock your wheels. Then stand up and place your hands on the bars, and keep reminding yourself that no matter what happens, your upper body streng
th is enough to hold you up. Because it is, Katie," She smiles at me.

  I do as she says and feel a brief moment of panic when I feel her moving the chair away from behind me, but then her arm slides around my waist loosely and she says, "ok, now we walk." And one foot at a time, with a little nudge from Kendra behind me, I manage to shuffle my first independent steps. It feels fucking phenomenal.

  "I'm sorry, little one, things are running a bit long here - do you want to come and sit in?" Caleb calls just as I'm getting ready to head over and pick him up.

  I'm exhausted and elated from the best ever physio session I've had and the last thing I want right now is sit in on a case meeting with the guys.

  "I think I'll pass, I'm really tired. Can you get a ride with Gus and I'll meet you at home?"

  The brief silence on the other side lets me know it wouldn't have been Caleb's preference, but he comes back with, "Sure, go on and be careful please."

  "I will. See you at home."

  Making my way out of Cortez, I am trying to keep close track of my surroundings, but my mind drifts to this morning's session. I catch myself daydreaming about things I'd been afraid to think about. A future that would have Caleb and I living at the barn when it's finished. My chair doesn't feature in my fantasies. I'm able to walk without issue and that silly dog seems to be around everywhere. Another thing I seem to be stuck on is the way my hand keeps lingering on my stomach and the realization I am envisioning myself pregnant snaps me out of my daydream. That, and the jolt of an impact that has my head snapping back and my hands almost coming off the steering wheel.

  What the fuck?

  A quick look in the rear-view mirror reveals a large silver pick up – a Dodge Ram or something – gaining on me for another hit and my hand goes to hit the hand's free unit Caleb's made sure the SUV was outfitted with. Scanning the road ahead for room to evade, I can hear the phone ring and pray Caleb hasn't turned it on silent. Just as I hear his "Hey sweets," another impact almost has me knocked sideways. This time they tried to fishtail my little Rav, and each time my hands slide off the controls and I lose speed. Fuck.

  "Caleb–"

  "What the fuck is going on!"

  "Silver Dodge Ram trying to get me off the road. Just turned onto County Road G and they popped up behind me. Gonna find a turn."

  "No!" Caleb bellows, "don't turn off the main road, whatever you do. Gus has Neil on the other line, hang in. Keep heading to town, and drive full width of the road, alternate your speed to keep them off track. Do it!"

  I see the Dodge coming in for another hit and brace myself for the next impact, but it doesn't come. Instead the truck starts inching up beside me and I kick up on the gas trying frantically to stay ahead.

  "Coming alongside me now," I report, short of breath with all the adrenaline coursing through my blood.

  "Don't you let them, dammit! Whatever you do, stay ahead. Veer into them if you have to."

  I vaguely register Caleb's heavy breathing, as if he is on the move, when the rear window implodes, showering me in glass. Fuck, game change.

  "Shooting, Caleb. They've shot out my rear window. I can't fucking shoot back and drive at the same damn time!" I yell frustrated beyond reason.

  "Jesus, Katie. Move that car all over the goddamn road. Neil is coming toward you and we're hauling ass in behind you, but girl, you better fucking keep yourself standing until we get there."

  Another shot is fired; this one hits the dash on the passenger side. Holy hell I'm in deep shit.

  "Tell me you're ok, little one. I hear the shot, I don't hear you, and I don't fucking like it! Talk to me."

  "Sorry, dashboard beside me. Other than glass, no holes yet. Two in the cab of the truck, one driving the other shooting. Fucker is half out of the cab taking aim. Hang on–" I can see him take aim and swerve the Rav the width of the road, but apparently he counted on that manoeuvre because I can feel the burn of the bullet before I even hear the sound.

  The moment I get the call from Katie I'm running, Gus and Joe close behind without asking. Gus points to his Yukon once we get to the parking lot and I realize I'm without wheels. He is on the phone with Neil, having picked up enough from my conversation, which I threw to speakerphone as soon as I figured she was in trouble. I am hitting myself over the head for not getting the fuck out of here when she was done her physio. Not that nothing would've happened, but at least one of us would've had our hands free.

  "They're fucking shooting at her," I tell Gus when I hear the unmistakable sounds over the phone.

  "Flooring it, buddy. Joe is clearing the road."

  Joe is ahead in his official truck with lights and sirens going and is literally blasting through intersections and in no time has us out of Cortez and turning onto County Road G. Then I hear another shot, a muffled noise that could be Katie and the next thing I know the connection is dead.

  "Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! I've lost her."

  Panic grabs at my chest and hampers my breathing and I let out my frustrations in a loud roar.

  "Neil's got a visual," Gus says, touching the Bluetooth in his ear, "Rav's on the side of the road, no sign of the truck."

  "Katie?"

  "Hold on. We're coming up on them now."

  "No truck... we didn't pass any truck. Where the fuck did they go?" I'm looking over my shoulder to see if we've missed anything but the road is clear.

  "There's Neil's truck and the Toyota," Gus points ahead of us where I can see Neil stalking around Katie's ride and Joe stopping on the other side of her car. No sign of Katie. Fuck. I get a sinking feeling in my stomach. No sooner has Gus pulled up on the other side of the vehicles or I'm out the door and running. Neil is yelling something at me but I'm not registering a word he says, I need to see for myself. Yanking open the driver side door I let out the breath I've been holding on a hiss when I see Katie slumped in the seat with blood running down the side of her head, her eyes closed. Like the impact of a truck, images of a scene in the hallway of Emma's house almost a year ago slam my memory and all I can think is; too late. My knees buckle and I drop to the asphalt, a foreign sound ripping from my chest and rolling out my mouth unchecked. I'm busy emptying my stomach beside me, deaf and blind to my surroundings until I feel a hand clamp on my shoulder and hear Gus's voice in my ear.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  "Fuck. Hey buddy. Snap out of it. She's ok. Caleb, man, it's a scrape. She'll be ok."

  Slowly registering his words I look up to see Gus nodding in Katie's direction, and when my eyes follow I see her sitting with a shirt pressed against her head, looking at me with concerned eyes. Next thing I notice is Neil, shirtless, in the passenger seat beside her with his hand on her shoulder and a feeling of a different kind starts rolling in my gut.

  "Out." I bark at him, up and at Katie's side in a flash. When he looks at me confused, I hear Gus snickering behind me.

  "Better move your ass, Neil. Let's give them some space."

  Katie makes room when I get in the front seat with her and then proceed to pull her on my lap. Her arms snake around my neck, her hands rifling through my hair.

  "You're crushing me, honey."

  I can't speak; I just hold her and breathe her in. Not sure why I lost it out there. The only thing I am aware of is that I am holding my entire world in my arms, so I tell her, "Something were to happen to you – to the life we may have made together – Yázhí, I don't think I'd be able to survive. I've had to stand by helpless when cancer took my sister before my eyes. I was too late to protect my mother. But losing you would end me."

  My emotions are raw. Seeing this strong and contained man come completely undone before me, hearing him exposed and vulnerable is ripping me open. All the reservations I've been hanging on to fly out the window. The harrowing experience I've just escaped and Caleb's reminders when he talks about his sister and mother, hammer home how fleeting life is. You'd think I would've learned that lesson already, but this man clinging to me like he needs me to breathe deserves
all of me.

  Placing my hands on either side of his face I force him to look at me, and the pure emotion I see there encourages me.

  "I've fought it, but it's so much stronger than I am. I've wanted it but been so afraid of giving in to it―to give myself so completely. I've never had these deep feelings and they scare me to death, 'cause they're so intense; so all consuming. I've been afraid to get lost in them, lost in you. But I'm done. Done being afraid to give you what you deserve. Hell, what I deserve. I love you, Caleb, so fucking much it hurts sometimes."

  If eyes are the mirrors of the soul then Caleb is showing me everything in his right now. No words, but the deep pools of hazel and dark gold speak volumes. The arms around me tighten and his head disappears in my neck where he mumbles quietly, "Means everything. You've just given me everything."

  "Hate to break this up, guys, but we have a situation here?" Joe stands in the open passenger side door, trying not to look at us but eying the blown out back window and the holes in my dashboard. With that reminder, Caleb snaps into action and carefully pulls away Neil's shirt that is half-stuck to the gash in my head from the bullet that grazed it.

  "Shit baby, I'm sorry. You'll probably need some medical attention for that. Where else are you hurt?" He gently probes my head and my upper back, which is a bit sore.

  "Turn around. Here, let me move out so I can have a good look." Sliding out of the cab, Caleb turns me so I'm sitting with my back to him and I hear him swear behind me.

  "What?"

  "Jesus, I'm so fucking sorry. You have glass in your back, little one. Some of it on the surface but some looks to be a bit deeper. Not gonna touch that. Some bleeding."

  "Ambulance is already on the way, Neil called first thing," Gus informs us. "Before they get here, Katie, what went down?"