Physical Therapy

by Aysel Quinn

  I also knew I was a complete idiot, because I had been working very hard to get stronger in order to heal, but this also meant less time with Ethan. Maybe I could finally get the guts to ask if he wanted to see me outside the clinic. So maybe I was timid, and maybe I was fully aware that the league he inhabited was worlds above mine…more like Sean’s bimbo’s league.

  However…

  I was also very aware that he had been outrageously flirting with me for the whole of every session we’d had. Now, this might be because he hardly had any female clients, and I knew I wasn’t that bad to look at. Or it might be because he behaved that way with every female client he did have.

  But I didn’t think so. We both acted like absurd high school freshmen whenever we were together, and he was a total dork. The dorkiest dork I had ever seen.

  And now he would see almost all of my flesh in a clinic swimming pool.

  I was going to need Nell.

  ****

  I stood at the water’s edge, a generic spa robe covering the frankly awesome one-piece Nell had found for me, something called a monokini, although I had never heard of such a thing. According to Nell, it “has the functionality and moveability of a sport suit, but the smoking-hot factor of a bikini, all in one adorable half-yard of slightly shimmering blue fabric.”

  Quote.

  Ethan was digging in a bin to find some sort of floaty to support my shoulder, and I watched the muscles in his calves strain as he peered farther into it. We were alone in the pool room, and I suppose I should have expected this, but I hadn’t. I’d thought there would be groups of patients, or other therapists working with their clients, but Ethan told me the pool was booked for just one team at a time because of its small size.

  We were a team. Cool.

  The skylights flooded the whole room with peaceful natural light. Peaceful that is, until Ethan removed his shirt.

  It was the act I had been hoping for, and I thought my imagination could have provided a fairly accurate picture of his body, but it didn’t. Not even close. I stared, completely losing the ability to close my mouth. I supposed anyone in his field should be well-toned, but he was different, not bulky or distorted but beautifully streamlined. His muscles rippled under his skin in a way that made me want to be dragged by the hair into a convenient cave.

  He jumped into the water and emerged just as he had in my fantasy, although I really needed slow motion or possibly a pause button.

  He caught my eye and laughed. “Hey, I said I’d catch you if you slip. No need to look so alarmed.”

  His laughter was a good sign. It meant he had no idea why I was staring. I smiled forcibly and forgot to do the sexy, slinky cover-up removal thing Nell taught me, unceremoniously dumping the robe somewhere behind me.

  I didn’t look up at him since I was trying very, very hard not to shake as I entered the water, descending the steps one at a time with significant pauses in between. He was too silent, so I stole a glance once I was adjusted to the temperature. He was gazing straight at my chest.

  Thank you, Nell.

  I was beginning to think my roommate was a genius. She also told me if water was involved, every guy wished every girl would do that thing from that eighties movie with the pool and the hot chick.

  I ducked completely under the water and hopped closer to him, still five or six feet away. I stood up slowly, tilting my face up into the light and letting the water drip down my body, raising my hands to gather my hair behind me.

  My gaze returned to him when I heard a sliding, bumping noise. Ethan had slipped on the pool floor and fallen flat on his back. He sputtered as he tried to stand up again, coughing and cursing.

  “Hey, I thought you were supposed to catch me.”

  “Uh, yeah, just lost my footing for minute.”

  Wow, he must be nervous. Who knew I had such powers?

  “Um, okay let’s get going.” He grabbed a floaty and stepped closer, although he looked reluctant to do so. “I’m going to place your arm on this so your shoulder won’t bear any weight.”

  He lifted my arm, and I got goose bumps even though he’d touched plenty of my skin before. It was somehow different in this environment, more intimate and far more naked.

  He floated me around for a little while, joking occasionally, but we didn’t speak as we normally did.

  “Okay, Tasha, I’m going to do some exercises, and I want you to copy me exactly. I’ll go slowly so you can see what I’m doing for each, then you do it, too.”

  I nodded my head, and he began to supply me with my wished-for slow motion. He stretched, and pulled each arm across his body under the water, and lifted his arms over his head, and… I couldn’t really remember anymore due to the hypnotic flexing of his chest.

  I tried to imitate him, but, you know, my cursed uncoordination and all. My lack of grace seemed to loosen him up a bit, however.

  “No, Tasha. Did you see me move that way?” He laughed heartily. “Let’s try again.”

  I did try, but this time my foot slipped just as I had known it would at some point. Before I could truly imitate him and land on my back, he made good on his promise and caught me. My head didn’t even go under, but my body was now flush against his.

  I wondered briefly if two people could generate actual sparks, because if they could, we would probably electrocute ourselves in the pool.

  It would be worth it. My brain was too fogged to really understand why he wasn’t letting me go. I dug up enough courage to look him in the eyes.

  His fierce gaze captured me. He had always been so gentle with me, I was almost surprised to see such a feral expression on his face. His eyes couldn’t decide which part of my body to land on, and I thought they might finally choose my lips when the pool room door opened to reveal another therapist.

  “Um, Ethan, Sabrina is looking for you. Your next client is here and you really don’t want her coming after you,” said a youngish guy who seemed to be a friend of Ethan’s.

  “Sorry, Tasha. Time’s up for today,” Ethan said sadly as he got out of the pool.

  His friend left, and Ethan reached a hand down to help me out. He didn’t speak to me as I went into the locker room to change. Afterwards, I approached the front desk to wait for my usual instructions, but Ethan remained expressionless, too serious, and he wouldn’t look at me.

  He cleared his throat as he thumbed through my file. “Yeah, I don’t think we’re going to continue with the water therapy. I think you might end up worse off, so we’ll stick to dry exercises.”

  “Okay. I’m sorry I’m such a lame klutz.” It came out sounding sadder than I had intended.

  He looked up then, so at least I got some connection back with him. “No, it’s not you. You’re fine. I just don’t think it’s wise. I gotta go, but I’ll see you on Friday, yeah?”

  “Of course, silly.”

  He smiled the usual Ethan smile, so everything was okay.

  ****

  Everything was not okay. Yesterday, Friday, was…awkward.

  I wondered how much I’d overdone things with the whole water nymph deal. He probably thought I was just a skank now. I certainly had to rectify the situation, but I’d have to wait two whole days until I saw him again.

  Since it was the weekend, Nell wanted to go for our usual lunch/dinner combo at Thai Wonder. I loved that place, even if it did have the cheesiest name outside of “What the Pho?” down the street.

  Nell parked us in our usual chinoiserie-patterned booth and stared at me. “Rough yesterday?”

  I sighed and leaned into my hand. “I think I blew it, Nell.”

  “How come?” At least she looked sympathetic.

  “I don’t know, it’s just been really weird since Wednesday. He didn’t even joke with me.”

  “You know what I think?” she asked, as if I had a choice in hearing her answer.

  I muttered the requisite, “What?”

  “I think you looked so hot in that monokini that he doesn’t know what
to say to you anymore. You went from Tasha the kindergarten teacher to Tasha with an amazing rack. That changes things.”

  “So why couldn’t you tell me that before?” I practically yelled at her.

  “You wouldn’t have worn it.”

  “Damn right! I’ve ruined everything, so thanks.”

  “It doesn’t change things in a bad way, silly. He needed to be shaken up a bit.”

  “You don’t even know him. He’s not like that.” He was too sweet to manipulate with cleavage. And I couldn’t even appreciate the idea since my stomach rumbled from the smells of fried rice and ginger wafting from the kitchen.

  I wondered what he was doing, and realized he was probably working. He’d said once he usually worked Saturdays. The clinic itself wasn’t more than a few blocks away from Thai Wonder, but how that information helped anything was a mystery.

  Nell hadn’t answered me. That couldn’t be good. She wasn’t even looking at me; her eyes were fixed on the menu, which was ridiculous since we had it memorized, and she never tried anything new anyway. Always phad thai with peanut sauce.

  “Nell? Answer me or I’m going to take your new boots back,” I threatened.

  She gasped. “You wouldn’t!”

  “I would and I will. I have the receipt.” I grinned evilly.

  “Fine. I’ve taught you too well, you know. Anyway, I don’t know him, that’s true, but I’ve met him.”

  The way she said it made me wonder how many layers of deception she was covering. She was the sneakiest little devil. I glared at her, and she gave up, slapping her hands on the table in her annoyance.

  “Okay, okay. I made an appointment with him last week to have my foot checked.”

  “Why? You don’t even have foot problems. And how did you get past Sabrina?” Now I was genuinely curious.

  “The red-headed witch? Yeah, she sent me off to a scary old lady, but I just turned around and went into your boyfriend’s chamber of horrors. She didn’t argue with me.”

  I laughed because Nell was powerfully scary when she wanted to be. “He’s not my boyfriend, Nell.” And now I was sad again. Bummer. The dark lighting of Thai Wonder did nothing to improve my mood.

  “Not yet, that’s true.”

  “Why did you do that? I mean, if you wanted a glimpse you could just stalk him from the lobby.”

  “I’m not above that, but I wanted to see how much he likes you. I came on to him like an ice-road trucker.”

  Nell looked smug, so I knew Ethan hadn’t responded, but still. It made me irrationally nervous. I remained silent as the waiter brought water and came back with pot stickers, and I endured Nell’s dismissive posture as she continued to stare at me.

  “Come on, Tasha! Speak!”

  “I’m not a dog.”

  “That’s what Ethan said.”

  “What?”

  “He doesn’t think you’re a dog.”

  “Nell, I really don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.”

  “I know. Here’s what happened . . . I took my top off and—”

  “What!”

  “No, no, not nekkid, even though I do have a rack of perfection. I just displayed my cute lacy bra. I figured any guy who wasn’t into somebody else would to react to that, and guess what he did?”

  “No.” I crossed my arms over my chest. Nell did have a perfect rack. This was not good.

  “He covered up his eyes like a little kid and ran out of the room. He said he’d be back when I was decent. He did come back, but it was all weird, so I apologized and said I was a lesbian so I forget to be modest around boys.”

  “You are a freak.”

  “Yep. So anyway, I asked him if he got so embarrassed because he had a girlfriend. He said no, but he blushed really hard, just like you do. I kind of got him to spill that there was someone he liked. I pretended I thought it was that redhead, but he looked disgusted and said that he liked brunettes. Ha!”

  “That doesn’t mean anything. There are tons of brunettes in the world.”

  “Wow, I’m really going to have to beat you. Why can’t you just recognize that you’re awesome, and that he might actually like you?”

  I just gaped. “You saw him, Nell. How is he remotely in my sphere of accessibility?”

  “Ugh, that idiot Sean! I want to castrate that little tool. Tasha, your sphere is created only by you. Besides, I’m extremely confident that Mr. Therapist would pop into your sphere anytime.” She smirked.

  Hmm. Maybe I should just relax and let things play out. I scrunched my brow.

  “What’s the problem?” Nell was back to being sympathetic.

  “Nothing,” I muttered, even though I was sort of aware of the root of my reluctance. If I let myself go with the flow, I could get dumped for a model again, and a girl can only take so much of that nonsense.

  “You know, I think he’s really nice. I liked him a lot,” Nell said.

  “You like everyone.”

  “No, I like everyone for me. I like almost no one for you.”

  Wow. I’d never really thought about it before, but she was right. She was horrible about the guys I’d dated ever since the beginning of college.

  “Are you, like, a wise sage or something?”

  “Oh yeah, you know it. Just promise you won’t let him go just because you think he’s too hot for you?”

  “Okay. I promise.”

  “Good. Now where the hell is Pedro?” Nell glared around randomly. And yeah, Pedro owned Thai Wonder; he hated tacos.

  ****

  “Well, then. I’ll see you on Monday.” Ethan smiled at me, but did that shuffling/palm-rubbing thing. “Do you want to keep the same days?”

  “Definitely. I’m so glad you got the doc to extend my therapy. My shoulder still feels really stiff and weak,” I said confidently, even though the last part was complete rubbish.

  My injury was almost unnoticeable now, and I felt healthier overall because of his workout regimen, even hefting the textbooks in my classroom without too much pain. When I’d walked in to see Ethan on Wednesday afternoon, I almost shook from the overwhelming sadness, knowing it was my last prescribed appointment with him.

  I couldn’t find the guts to tell him I wanted to see him again, outside of any medical setting. I spent the two days between appointments working on ways to ask him for a simple cup of coffee, but all the words failed me with that little crooked grin he liked to flash in my direction.

  And then he gave me the best proposition I’d ever heard.

  “Tasha, I really think you need to continue your therapy here. Your muscles are re-acclimating slowly, and I don’t want you to suffer a setback. Would you be opposed to extending your appointments for another four weeks?”

  “No! I mean, I don’t mind. I’m good with it.” I shouted and babbled ridiculously.

  “Good, I’m glad. I’ll call your doctor and get the extension for you. Don’t worry about a thing.” His soothing tone melted my insides.

  Sure. Nothing to worry about at all, at least for another month. Yay insurance!

  And so we kept meeting, day after day after day, and I remained a spineless idiot.

  ****

  “Tasha? What does this mean?” Nell shouted from somewhere downstairs.

  “What’s what?” I yelled back, not really wanting to pause in my reading of Utopia, the book that maybe, perhaps, Ethan might also have been reading that we possibly might have spent half our appointments discussing.

  “This bill from your insurance.” She appeared in my doorway, and I had no idea how she made it up the stairs so quickly.

  I took the envelope from her outstretched arm and ripped it open. What?

  “What what?” Nell asked.

  I apparently said that aloud. “It says I owe $900 for the last two weeks of PT appointments. Ethan said he got me an extension from the doctor, so this must be a mistake.”

  “Call them.”

  I picked up my phone right away, but I had to stay on
hold for close to an hour before I got an actual breathing person to yell at. I hung up in a huff when it was done and stomped down to Nell.

  “The clinic must not have put my paperwork through correctly. The insurance says I’m only covered for the original prescription of sixteen sessions.” Even to my own ears, my voice sounded dismal, hating the idea of being unable to continue with Ethan.

  “T, why the hell don’t you just ask him out? We both know you’re crazy about him.” Nell squeezed my arm comfortingly, but I just shook my head.

  “I can’t. I’ve tried and failed so many times, and I don’t think he’s interested in me like that. He would have said something by now.”

  “That’s stupid and you know it! You told me he’s kind of shy, so he’s probably too nervous to make the first move. You have to go for it before it’s too late.”

  I couldn’t find a reason to contradict her, so I remained quiet.

  ****

  “I’m sorry you were freaking out, Tasha.” He awkwardly patted my arm, but his eyes flashed real sympathy.

  “Oh, it’s fine. I was just nervous about the cost if we couldn’t resolve this.” I shrugged, downplaying the extent of my anxiety.

  “Don’t worry about a thing. I’ve got it all taken care of, and you’re good to go.”

  I was too distracted by Ethan’s hand lingering on my shoulder to pay much attention to his words. I did register the relief that washed over me with the knowledge I could still see him.

  “Thank you so much, Ethan,” I practically whispered, embarrassed. “I really don’t want to stop this yet.”

  I didn’t look up to see whether he understood my double meaning.

  “Me neither. See you on Friday.” His voice was soft as he sort of half-hugged me with one arm.

  Yeah, he totally understood, and I did a happy dance in my head, still knowing it wouldn’t be enough to force me into making a move.

  We continued that way until the very end of our personal hourglass, every grain of sand dropping down until there was no time left.

  “So, this is the last one,” he nearly whispered as we settled into the familiar room.

  It felt antiseptic and claustrophobic now, too white and windowless.

  We rarely spent time doing anything with my shoulder anymore. We resumed our previous conversation about Dracula, our book-club-of-two’s choice after Utopia, and he was back to being completely normal. Only the very corners of his eyes were tense, and I hoped so, so much he was putting on a very convincing act and it wasn’t easy to let me go.