Wicked As Sin

by Jillian Hunter

  But that did not mean she would descend any deeper.

  Whatever Gabriel was, rogue or hero, their lives had been entangled even before she was aware of what entanglement could lead to.

  What if his past has been troubled? Hers had been too, even though she had managed to keep the most humiliating part to herself. She had always wondered how different life would have been for her and Gabriel had his father, Joshua Boscastle, lived. She might have been betrothed to Gabriel from the start.

  Was it too late to amend history? Gabriel might have been destined to break her heart, for all she knew. And now that they had finally been granted the chance to be together, what had they done to prove that they belonged with each other?

  “I’ll tell you a secret, Gabriel,” she said, suddenly unwilling to tolerate his moody domination for another second. “I wish I’d never come to London.”

  He tore off his coat and sent it hurtling toward an armchair. “Well, I wish I’d never left.”

  “You don’t have to stay in the country,” she said indignantly. “You can sell that house. You have no future as a country farmer. Everyone who has lived in Helbourne Hall has left. Why should you attempt to aspire to better? Don’t bother to answer. You set upon a course of self-pity and punishment when your father died.”

  “Is that right? Don’t bother to answer. I agree. Helbourne Hall is haunted and has an off-putting reputation.”

  She refused to move as he advanced on her. “The same might be said of its current owner.”

  He walked toward her until they stood only a breath apart. “If I am haunted, it is by you.”

  Her heart fluttered. She had never seen such naked pain on a man’s face before. Her natural feminine instincts wished to coax him from his stormy humor, even though he’d embarrassed them both today.

  “You must be possessed by a devil,” she said in distress. “I have never seen you in this mood.”

  “I have never before been in this mood, Alethea.”

  “Then do you mind telling me what has put you in such a temper? You were in good spirits when I left you with your cousin. You…were playful.”

  He smiled coldly. “Continue.”

  “Continue what?” she asked impatiently. “We parted with the agreement that we would announce our engagement. I took lemonade with your family.”

  His eyes raked her. “And between our last meeting and the lemonade?”

  She shook her head in confusion. “I walked in the garden, Gabriel.”

  “The Garden of Earthly Delights?”

  “The garden of the marquess, your cousin,” she said as if he were simpleminded.

  He glanced away. “Did you walk alone?”

  “There were other people in the garden.” She hesitated. “Other guests.”

  “You walked with Audrey Watson,” he said, staring at her in accusation.

  She stared back at him, her heart in her throat. “Yes.”

  “And your defense?” he asked quietly.

  “Do I require one?”

  He closed his eyes. “Am I in love with…an aspiring courtesan? If so, please tell me now.”

  She did not answer at first. She was too shocked to find the words. Had he spoken with Audrey? Could he have forced the woman, or charmed her into breaking Alethea’s confidence? Who had told him she’d spoken with Audrey?

  “Is that what Mrs. Watson told you?” she asked, dreading his answer.

  “Mrs. Watson did not tell me a damned thing. In fact, I did not speak with her after I saw you together. I did, however, hear the conversation with my own ears. With Drake as a witness.”

  She felt her blood go cold. “You eavesdropped, Gabriel,” she said in a low voice. “You skulked about in the bushes when you could have announced your presence and had your curiosity satisfied.”

  He laughed bitterly. “Perhaps I was not prepared to learn that the woman I love is a—”

  “—courtesan,” she said in a quiet voice. “You said it once. You may as well say it again.”

  “I did not accuse you,” he said quickly. “I only asked—well, blast it, Alethea. What conclusions should I draw from your conversation with her? I think I deserve the truth.”

  “How much have you had to drink, Gabriel?”

  “Not enough to keep me away from you.”

  “I think you should leave the house now,” she said faintly.

  “And never see you again?” he asked in bewilderment. “Am I not owed at least an explanation?”

  She shook her head. What a tangle. “Yes. But not when you are upset and have frightened the life out of my brother’s servants.”

  “I lost my temper. You were not honest with me, were you?”

  “Do you honestly want to know how I feel right now, Gabriel?”

  “Yes. Honesty would be a pleasant change at this point.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “I want you to go,” she said, her voice breaking. “Do not darken my—my life again.”

  He snorted. “You say that as if you have made mine better.”

  She looked insulted. “And haven’t I?”

  “No.” His mouth curled into a hard smile. “You’ve made me miserable.”

  She caught her breath, refusing to cry. “If I were a man, I would call you out and kill you.”

  “Too late,” he said mockingly. “I was dead the moment I saw you.”

  She gasped. “I despise the air you breathe.”

  “I curse the day you were conceived.”

  She pushed him away from her. “At least we know my parentage.”

  “Come to think of it,” he said, “you don’t look anything like your brother.”

  “Well, do you know what you look like?” she asked with a grim smile.

  He lowered his face to hers. “Do tell.”

  “A—a damned blackguard, that’s what. Now go away.”

  He snorted. “My escape cannot be accomplished fast enough.”

  “Are you still here?”

  “Damnit, Alethea, I did not come here to quarrel.”

  “And yet you have done nothing else.”

  He looked bereft. She felt her anger crumbling, wanted him to hold her.

  “May I come tomorrow morning?” he asked quietly.

  “It will be chaos,” she said. “I will not be alone.”

  “Then I will follow you back to the country.” He stared at her. “Have you betrayed me with another?”

  She laughed, tears filling her eyes. “What do you think?”

  “Do you love me?”

  She closed her eyes. His arms engulfed her. His mouth crushed hers, his kiss igniting little flames deep inside her. Still, she felt cold, afraid, ashamed that she had kept the truth from him, ashamed of that truth itself.

  “Come with me now,” he whispered in her ear. “Stay the night at my house and we shall talk. Prove your love.”

  “I have already proven my feelings to you,” she said, softly. “It remains for you to wait until you know everything before you decide whether you still want me.”

  His breath warmed the hollow of her throat. “I’ll always want you.”

  “As your wife?” she asked, refusing to react as he kissed the underside of her jaw.

  “Is there a reason why you cannot marry me?” He bit her shoulder in gentle punishment. “Do you have another husband?” He clasped her hand and guided her to the sofa. “Do you have a secret avocation?”

  She turned, but he still claimed her hand, drawing her down beside him. “You have a bruise coming out on your cheek,” she said in despair. “And you—you’ve been somewhere dangerous tonight, I can tell.”

  “Perhaps.”

  “How uncouth.”

  “You knew what I was from the beginning.” He smoothed his calloused fingers down her shoulder to the buttoned inseam of her sleeve. “Isn’t that what you liked about me, Alethea? The true question, I believe, is what are you? What have you become?”

  “You can be beastly, can’t you?�
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  “You knew that, too.”

  “No. I knew I cared about you. Dirty, dark, hurtling down a road of self-destruction. I would have stood directly on that road to save you. But I never dreamt it was you I would battle.”

  “Are you giving up on me?”

  She turned her head. “There is a coach outside. It is probably my brother and my cousin, both of whom were to be told tonight that we were getting married.”

  “Make love to me before they come then.” He stroked his black-gloved knuckles down her nape, her back, to the rise of her rump.

  “Please go home now, Gabriel.”

  He buried his face in her hair. “No. I won’t leave. As a matter of fact, I might encamp in this room until winter. Don’t you want me anymore?”

  A shadow of hurt darkened her eyes. She didn’t want another man who claimed to care for her when he had only anger in his heart.

  His mouth burned like a firebrand across her throat. “I want only you, and I want the truth. Be honest with me.”

  “And if you hate me afterward?” she whispered in anguish.

  His chest tightened in forewarning. What truth could she be hiding? Had she offered herself as a courtesan? If so, he would have to accept this unpalatable surprise. He knew she’d loved another, but other men? What had she done the year everyone assumed she had been mourning? He did not know if he could tolerate the pain. Hypocrite he might be, but he had claimed her in his dreams a decade ago. He’d been afraid to assert his desire. Who had usurped him?

  “Forgive me for insisting on honesty,” he said with irony. “I do not always remember to be a gentleman.”

  Her eyes flashed. “They’re in scarce demand these days.”

  “Am I not as decent as your dearly departed Hazlett?” he continued, unable to control himself. “Was it he who unleashed the desire we shared?”

  She went still, and he knew he’d hurt her, wished he could take back the bitter words. “I did not mean that.”

  She angled her face away. “Didn’t you?”

  “Damnit, Alethea, I can’t let you go, no matter what you are. Please come home with me tonight.”

  “‘No matter what I am’?” she asked softly.

  “Whatever you are, I won’t give you up.”

  She shook her head, her expression bruised. “I won’t make love to you when you’re in this mood.”

  Hoofbeats echoed in the street. A carriage door opened and slammed. Gabriel’s cynical gaze searched her face. “Do you love me, Alethea?”

  “Yes, but do not ask me why.”

  “Is there anyone else?”

  She stared at him, tears threatening in earnest. “No, you stupid man.”

  “Then you will tell me everything?”

  “Yes. It isn’t what you’re thinking. Audrey only gave me advice.”

  “Advice? On what?”

  “I can’t—I can’t say it.”

  “My God, Alethea. What is it?”

  She shook her head.

  The door behind him opened. “I do love you,” he said, his voice low. And now he had to face the truth that no matter what her explanation turned out to be, it would not change his feelings for her.

  Chapter Thirty-three

  Lord Wrexham cursed aloud when he returned from the party and spotted Gabriel’s town carriage parked outside. “Doesn’t that man have any sense of decency at all?” he shouted to Lady Pontsby, who harbored an altogether different opinion of Gabriel’s behavior.

  “Do not charge into that house unannounced,” she advised him as they descended from his larger vehicle and proceeded up the steps together.

  “What do you mean?” he asked irately. “It’s my house, and as far as I can tell that rakehell and Alethea are alone. “I have every right to interrupt whatever—”

  Robin broke off as a footman opened the door to admit him. “What is Sir Gabriel doing here, Bastwick? And where the devil is my sister?”

  The footman shook his head in confusion. “We were asked not to interfere, my lord.”

  “Interfere in what?” Lady Pontsby inquired, deliberately planting herself in the center of the hall to impede Robin’s progress.

  “You know perfectly well what,” he retorted. “It is hardly a question one poses to a footman.”

  “I don’t know. And neither do you. Control yourself.”

  “Stop trying to hinder me.”

  She raised her voice. “HINDER YOU FROM WHAT, ROBIN? SIR GABRIEL IS A TRUE GENTLEMAN. I DON’T IMAGINE HE IS ENGAGED IN ANY MISCHIEF IN THAT ROOM.”

  He threw her a scowl of utter disgust and marched up the stairs to the drawing room door. He knew bloody well she’d only been trying to trumpet Boscastle and his sister a warning. Truth be told, if Gabriel and Alethea were carrying on unbecomingly, he had no desire whatsoever to walk in and catch them unawares in a tryst. But it was time to put a stop to an association that seemed to have no decent boundaries.

  “At least knock,” Lady Pontsby urged behind him.

  “I am not an intruder in my own house.”

  However, he knocked, but as compromise to his assertion he did not wait for an invitation before he entered. To his unspeakable relief Gabriel was standing at the window, and Alethea was sitting as stiff as a bayonet in an armchair.

  “Pardon me,” he said lamely. “I had no idea you had company, Alethea. I hope that your guest—”

  Gabriel turned.

  Lady Pontsby’s eyes widened.

  “—your guest—” Robin choked out, staring at Gabriel’s blackened eye. “Did Alethea do that to you?”

  Alethea surged from the armchair to her feet. “What a ridiculous assumption.”

  Lady Pontsby edged around him. “Never mind, my dear. Your brother didn’t mean to offend you. It’s just that—how did you come by that nasty bruise, Sir Gabriel, if you don’t mind telling us?”

  Gabriel sighed. “I had the bad fortune to break up a fight only to find my face used as a buffer between the opposing parties.”

  Lord Wrexham studied his sister in concern. “And this fight—which you claim to have stopped—was the reason you so rudely abandoned Alethea at the party?”

  “Not exactly.”

  “Then I don’t understand what happened today,” Lord Wrexham said.

  Gabriel looked pointedly at Alethea. “Nor do I.”

  “Then perhaps you should leave, sir, so that my sister might render her version of the situation.”

  Gabriel hesitated, studying Alethea until she finally returned his gaze. “Perhaps I should,” he said at length. “I shall call upon you as soon as you return to the country.”

  Lord Wrexham looked baffled at this pronouncement. “Have you further business with me, sir?” he asked bluntly, earning frowns from both his sister and Lady Pontsby.

  Gabriel sighed again, retrieved his hat and jacket from the chair, and walked solemnly to the door. “With your permission your sister and I are to be married at the earliest convenience. I believe she wishes a country wedding. The Boscastles, of course, will insist otherwise. It makes no difference to me where we are wed, but I would guess the marquess would prefer a private wedding in his house.”

  Lady Pontsby gasped in delight. Alethea might have reacted in any number of ways—Robin was too astonished to pay her any attention, despite her starring role in this unprecedented performance. He’d been of half a mind to throttle Gabriel for offenses assumed if unidentified. But now that Boscastle was to become his brother-in-law, he would have to swallow his criticism, and put on a good face.

  “But—when did this happen?” he asked Gabriel’s retreating figure.

  “Seven years, four months, and thirteen days ago, to be precise.” Gabriel paused at the door to smile darkly at Alethea. “Give or take a few hours.”

  Chapter Thirty-four

  He had no idea what he was doing, only that he’d hurt her tonight and he was hurting even more. Now that he’d made a monumental fool of himself, in front of her and her fami
ly, he wondered whether her association with Audrey Watson even mattered.

  Could he love her forever if she had been a courtesan in secret? It could not have been a long, successful career. And it wasn’t as if he had not consorted with Cyprians and sought an open invitation to Audrey’s. But, he was a man, and there was a difference.

  Then again, he had debauched himself without compensation. At least a courtesan placed value upon her favors.

  The very thought of her lying with another man, for love or money, made him feel ill.

  How had he descended into this humiliating state of unmanly misery? He couldn’t explain it. He did know, however, that he had never felt so at odds in his life. He couldn’t imagine anything that could make him feel worse—until he climbed into his carriage and saw his three Boscastle cousins, Heath, Drake, and Devon, awaiting him, a trio of black-haired, blue-eyed devils.

  He frowned and sat down opposite his cousin Devon. “I am in no temper to discuss my personal—”

  “Did Alethea do that to your face?” Devon asked with a grimace of sympathy. “If so, I’d say she loved you very much.”

  Gabriel gazed upon his cousins in annoyance. It was disconcerting to realize how much, in both physical appearance and attitude, he and they resembled one another—proof, he feared, of the potent Boscastle bloodlines.

  “Don’t the three of you have wives waiting at home with your woolen dressing robes and bowls of gruel?”

  Drake laughed. “I’ve a feeling you’ll be joining that esteemed club yourself.”

  Sooner than anyone thought. At least Gabriel assumed—hoped it to be so, unless Alethea was at this moment informing Robin she had changed her mind. He resisted looking back at the town house as the carriage lurched into the street. It was bad enough to have the Boscastles aware of his hopeless attraction to Alethea without proving how besotted he was.

  “Did it ever occur to the three of you that my private affairs are not your business?”

  Devon hooted in derision. “You’ve been born into the wrong family. There is no privacy among us. Every sin and scandal is submitted to the cabal for scrutiny and discussion.”

  “My God,” Gabriel muttered, glancing heavenward, as if he could ever remember help coming from that quarter.