Hard Instincts

by Chloe Fischer

  “You’re attracted to her. And furthermore, I think you have feelings for her,” Riverville declared, studying Ryder’s reaction.

  Ryder laughed aloud but to his horror, the sound came out weak.

  “I have exchanged a dozen words with her in the course of ten minutes!” he protested, loathing the pitch in his voice.

  I sound like I am trying to convince myself.

  “You are the best operative I’ve got,” Riverville told him again. “But you’ll never be as intuitive or as good as me. And lying out of character doesn’t suit you.”

  Ryder’s mouth dropped open and he found himself beginning to sweat.

  What he’s saying is ridiculous. I am not a teenaged boy. I am a special ops tracker who has never allowed my emotions to overcome my judgement. Whatever he thinks he’s seeing, he’s wrong.

  Indignation flooded through Ryder.

  “You’re wrong,” he said coldly. Riverville shrugged and turned toward the door.

  “I am going for coffee. Paulson is stationed outside the door. I imagine that Dr. Steward will be in shortly to check on you even though it’s her scheduled day off.”

  Ryder felt goosebumps prickle his arms.

  “Is it?” he asked casually but he knew he was transparent. “Then why would she come to check on me?”

  “Because you guilted her into it, Ryder.”

  “Shh, Patient X, Cee,” Ryder grumbled, glancing around.

  “Oh yeah? Funny because I heard everyone’s calling you Ryder around here.”

  Riverville opened the door and stepped outside before Ryder could respond, leaving him to wonder how he had known.

  I was stupid to believe I could have any privacy in here.

  In a way, he was grateful for the endless tracking which the Army had put upon him. If not for his GPS chip, he likely would have died in that room with Franz Kaiser.

  He had little memory of how he had gotten out of Germany. There were flashes of a man stitching him up while someone held a rag of ether over his face.

  In an out of consciousness, reality and memories melded together as one. Franz was a man hiding behind a dining room table, a set of twins screaming as someone removed bullets from his body.

  What happened to me? He wondered.

  Ryder struggled to sit up, the lines of the IV straining against his arms. He pulled the hospital gown up over his stomach and peered at the wound.

  It gave him a shiver to look at it.

  The bullet was a reminder of how destructible he was, despite his incredible power.

  Where did this power come from?

  The door opened and Ryder looked up, sensing her before he saw her face. When he did lay eyes on her, it was like a blow to his gut.

  “What the hell happened?” he bit out, looking at her bruised face. “Who did that to you?”

  “No one! No one!” Dr. Steward told him quickly. “I was in a car accident after work last night.”

  Ryder stared at her, his mouth agape.

  “How are you doing today?” she asked, her voice hoarse as she approached him.

  “Look at me,” he ordered but she pretended to busy herself with the tubes attached to his body.

  He had done enough similar damage to men in the past to recognize the signs. Dr. Steward had not been in any car accident.

  Instantly, his eyes moved to her ring finger.

  She’s not married but it doesn’t mean she’s single.

  Rage began to consume him and in his fury, he forced her to turn her head. She resisted him but his anger was too strong and she faced him, full on, her swollen eyes bloodshot in the whites.

  “Who did this to you?” he growled again. She tried to move her head downward but his mind was too strong.

  “Tell me!” he insisted.

  “I told you!” she gasped, her voice laced with fear. “What are you doing to me?”

  Instantly, Ryder released her and she stared at her hands, her expression indecipherable.

  The last thing he wanted to do was scare her and he could sense the panic emanating from her pores.

  “Are you feeling any better?” she mumbled, stepping back from the bed but Ryder reached forward, grabbing her hand. Again, she attempted to move back but he pulled her close.

  “Don’t fight me,” he told her. “Trust me.”

  He could feel her heart beginning to race as he guided her to sit on the bedside.

  His own heart pounded as he willed himself to be calm.

  He had not healed anyone in twenty years. Ryder was not sure if he could still do it after what had happened on the playground with Sabrina Foster.

  Slowly, he raised his hands to her face, clenching his teeth as she flinched.

  She’s expecting me to hit her, he thought. Someone is going to pay for this. Someone is going to pay dearly.

  He asked himself why he was getting involved with this woman, someone he knew nothing about.

  I feel like I know everything about her.

  “I am not going to hurt you,” Ryder told her tenderly, laying his palms against the bruising. Gently, he applied pressure to her, feeling her tense beneath his touch but he closed his eyes and forced the venom from his thoughts.

  He could not heal if he was filled with wrath.

  After a moment, he pulled his hands away and sank back into the pillows.

  Dr. Steward stared at him, her mouth parted slightly as if she was searching for the words to say.

  “Wh – what was that?” she gasped but as she spoke, Ryder watched the cuts to her lovely skin begin to disappear. She blinked several times as her eyes came into focus, the tissue of her face settling.

  Her hands touched her cheeks and she jumped up, running into the private bathroom.

  Ryder listened as she gasped loudly.

  The door instantly flew open and Paulson jumped inside, his weapon drawn.

  “What the hell is going on?” he demanded, looking around. “Where is the doctor?”

  Ryder waved him away.

  “Everything’s fine,” he assured the guard. Paulson eyed him suspiciously and poked his head into the bathroom as Dr. Steward emerged.

  “Are you all right, ma’am?” Paulson asked. She nodded, dazed and Paulson stepped back in shock.

  “You – your face!” he cried.

  “Paulson, get out!” Ryder snarled. “You’re interrupting.”

  The guard looked from Ryder to Dr. Steward and back again, slowly backing away. He nodded slowly.

  “Yes sir,” he mumbled, almost tripping over his feet and Ryder felt a stab of foreboding.

  He's going to run directly to Riverville and tell him what I did. I am never going to hear the end of this.

  Ryder wondered if he was facing sanctions.

  But as Dr. Steward approached him, the expression of awe and gratitude on her face melted away any apprehension he was feeling.

  “How did you do that?” she whispered. “Who are you?”

  “I think my name is Ryder Conway,” he replied. “Maybe you can help me find out who I am.”

  Chapter Eight

  Chicago, Illinois

  Paige chewed on her nails, perched on the edge of the cot in the on-call room.

  This is bizarre, she thought for the tenth time in two hours. What am I doing?

  As if on cue, the door to the small room flew open and Noel stood furiously in the doorway.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” he hissed. He was wearing his lab jacket over a pair of light blue scrubs but Paige could not see a crease in the material.

  When I work a full shift, my clothes are barely recognizable as clothes. And he wonders why he never gets promoted.

  She did not respond, turning her attention back to the tablet in her hands.

  “We have plans with Kyle and Alison!” Noel barked, drawing closer.

  “Get out, Noel. I’m working,” Paige said emotionlessly. “You can meet your brother and ex-girlfriend for dinner without me.”

>   He flew toward her, his hand raised and Paige instinctively raised her arm to block the impending blow.

  Noel froze suddenly, staring at her face.

  “What – where –?” he trailed off, searching her face for signs of the trauma he had inflicted upon her the previous night.

  Paige stared at him with dead eyes.

  “Where are the bruises and marks you left all over my face last night?” she offered. “They’re gone.”

  He opened his mouth but no words came out and Paige held his gaze until he lowered his eyes.

  “I don’t mean to, baby,” he murmured. “I don’t know what comes over me. I just – “

  “You just love me so much?” she finished. “You get overwhelmed with the stress of work? You can’t bear that I’m an attending and you’ve been written up more times than I can count?”

  Noel’s mouth became a slash of fury.

  “Screw you, Paige. Everyone knows you only got where you are because you’re banging the chief.”

  If it had been any other day, Paige would have been deeply insulted and argued the slanderous statement.

  But not today. Something had changed since she had scraped herself off the hallway floor at dawn that morning.

  Ryder Conway changed me, she thought, her hand automatically touching her healed face. She didn’t claim to understand what had happened between them when he had laid his palms against her cheeks. All she had felt was a surge of energy flow into her skin and suddenly the pain was gone.

  To Noel’s horror, she grinned at him broadly, her face alight with amusement.

  “That’s a new one,” she laughed. “I’m sleeping with Hunter now, am I?”

  Noel’s face contorted but Paige held her eyes steady and eventually he was driven back toward the door. She did not speak again but her silence seemed to unnerve him greatly.

  “You’re tired, Paige,” he muttered. “You need to take some time off and sleep.”

  He spun and left her alone in the on-call room and Paige exhaled.

  Her bravado had been false Her pulse was racing in her chest.

  I am lucky he didn’t come after me again, she thought, eyeing the door to ensure he did not change his mind.

  I have to leave him, she told herself. It was not the first time she had thought about the incredibly daunting task.

  She had tried a few times but he had always coaxed her back with sweet nothings and promises to do better.

  Deep down, Paige knew the only way she would escape Noel was in a body bag.

  What is going to be waiting for me when I get home tonight? She wondered. She swallowed the thought and turned back to the device in her hand.

  She didn’t want to think about Noel, not at that moment. She had a distraction at least for a short time and she intended to take advantage of it.

  Ryder Conway.

  She had exhausted every avenue she knew of online searching for the name, but the searches had proved futile.

  Maybe he’s delusional. Maybe I need to schedule an MRI.

  There had been no indication of head trauma but perhaps a brain scan would show the root of his unbelievable healing ability.

  Ethically, Paige knew she had no right to do such a thing but as a woman who had inadvertently found herself involved in a great mystery, she was tempted to do just that.

  Sighing, she tried broadening her online search.

  Technically, she had finished her shift already but she knew she was not stepping foot back in the condo, not when Noel was angry.

  She knew he would be biding his time, waiting for her to get home and the aftermath was not something Paige wanted to consider.

  I’ll stay here tonight, she vowed and the idea sent a warm sensation through her, realizing that Ryder Conway was in the same building and within her reach.

  What is it about him? He’s…ethereal, otherworldly.

  She thought for a long moment.

  Obviously he belongs to some sort of government agency. Let me try that.

  She typed “Conway government agencies.”

  Instantly, she was shown results for a Drake Conway. Disappointment filled her as she noted his age.

  He's too old to be the man upstairs.

  Yet Paige was inexplicably drawn to the information, reading about the man intently. The skin on her arms began to prickle and her breathing quickened.

  Maybe this is Ryder’s father. He might be able to fill in the parts of Ryder’s memory which he doesn’t recall.

  On a whim, she looked for images of Drake Conway and her heart stopped.

  She was staring directly at an older version of her patient.

  There was no doubt that the two were related.

  With trembling hands, Paige retrieved her notebook and a pen from her lab jacket, jotting down any information she could find about the man.

  She prayed that something would pan out.

  If the son is a healer, what can the father do? She wondered.

  Several floors above her, Ryder was also pouring over a tablet, despite Riverville’s displeasure.

  “This is not a secure facility,” he snarled. “You should not be doing this here.”

  “I am playing Words with Friends!” Ryder protested. “Are you afraid someone is going to steal my high score?”

  “Not in the least. I’ve read your reports. Your spelling is atrocious. What I am worried about is you doing something stupid which will get us all killed.”

  Ryder offered him a plaintive look.

  “I am playing on Facebook,” he replied, flipping the tablet for his superior to see. “Look.”

  As Riverville looked down, he saw a meme boasting an angry looking cat.

  He eyed Ryder.

  “I can smell it on you,” he retorted. “Don’t forget that you put us all at risk when you go rogue, Quinn.”

  Conway. My name is Conway.

  Ryder shrugged.

  “I have never let you down, sir,” he replied, pulling the device back toward him. Riverville grunted.

  “I’m going back to Fort Bragg tonight. Paulson and Egerstein are staying with you until you have clearance.”

  Ryder nodded.

  “Thank you, sir. Safe travels.”

  Riverville continued to stare at him, his mouth moving but no words escaping.

  “Sir?”

  “Get your head together, Quinn. For everyone’s sake.”

  Ryder smiled genuinely.

  “I’m starting to feel like I’m doing just that for once,” he replied enigmatically.

  The look on Riverville’s face told him that the answer did not give him peace.

  They saluted one another and his superior left.

  Instantly, Ryder changed screens and stared at the profile he was searching.

  Paige Steward.

  In her “about” section, Ryder found what he was seeking.

  In a relationship with Noel Vanger.

  The information filled him with an inexplicable jealousy which stunned him. He pushed the feeling aside and clicked on Noel’s page, focusing on his rage at the other man, instead of his jealousy.

  A slow, cruel smile touched his lips as he recognized his place of employment.

  Well look at that. Noel is literally right under my nose.

  The son of a bitch was going to pay for what he had done to Dr. Steward.

  Ryder just had to figure out how to get to him.

  Leesburg, Virginia

  Drake had not eaten or slept in many days.

  He was jumping at his own shadow, refusing to answer calls and watching the footage of Ryder being shot like an obsession he could not let go of.

  Shandy had finally had enough, storming into his office with uncharacteristic force and turning off the monitor as he watched the video of Ryder being shot for the thousandth time.

  “What are you doing?” he growled, slapping her hand away, drunkenly. His diet had consisted solely of alcohol and he stared at her hatefully with bloodshot eyes.<
br />
  “Mr. Conway, you are a disgrace,” the housekeeper told him angrily, slamming a silver tray on the desk before him. “You must eat and shower. Have you smelled yourself?”

  She folded her arms over her chest and glared at him as if daring him to challenge her.

  “How dare you?” he choked, starting to rise but immediately, he fell back into the chair, his legs too weak and his mind too altered to accept the movement.

  “Do you see what you’ve become?” Shandy demanded. “You’re a wisp of the formidable man you once were!”

  He watched her mouth move but he couldn’t make sense of the words.

  Was I ever formidable? I sacrificed my entire family so I could eat dinner at home one night. I gave my boys away and left them to rot without ever knowing what became of them.

  Tears filled his strange green eyes and suddenly, he dissolved into tears, burying his face in his hands.

  He had wanted so badly to protect them, to save them from Oculus but in the end, he had only succeeded in killing them.

  If Ryder is gone, surely the others are too.

  He flinched as a set of strong arms embraced him and Drake gasped.

  How long had it been since anyone had touched him tenderly? He could not remember what Shirley’s hands had felt like. He had slowly forgotten the sound of her voice, the timbre of her laugh.

  The memory of the boys was fading from his mind also.

  I have to let them go, he thought, his face soaked. I have spent my life chasing ghosts. I should stop now. Oculus has won. They have broken me as they had intended from the start.

  “I don’t know what has you so troubled, sir, but please, don’t fall apart. You are stronger than this. You can overcome whatever it is which has broken your spirit. You are a great man, Mr. Conway.”

  Drake shuddered, allowing the last sob to escape his mouth.

  I am Drake Conway. I do not resort to histrionics. I have been trained better than this. I must go on, for the boys I lost.

  “Thank you, Shandy.”

  He quickly wiped his cheeks, keeping his eyes averted.

  “I am going to have a shower and I will take some food on the back terrace. I should get out of this room and get some fresh air.”

  Shandy withdrew her arms and smiled kindly at him, her chocolate brown eyes hopeful.