“Give him a chance, Joss...” he pleaded. He raised his brows and grinned at her. She smiled and nodded weakly, unable to resist his charm.
“It won’t be easy, Charlie,” she said.
“It might not be, but you’ve never struck me as the kind of woman who takes the easy way out,” he grinned. She shook her head, ineffectively holding back a smile.
“Okay, but if we’re not back by 3:00, send out a search party,” she quipped, allowing him to pull her into an embrace.
“I’m proud of you. Now, tell me what you need, I’ll help you get ready.”
“Nothing, I have everything. I’ll just grab my walking stick and we’ll be on our way.”
* * *
Joss quietly lead the way, pushing her walking stick out in front of her. She’d seen a few snakes on recent forages and had her guard up. Daniel had made some poles at her request, split at the bottom for protection, just in case they had to trap a striking viper. Usually they kept their distance, but she wasn’t taking any chances.
Grant easily kept pace with her, but he wasn’t speaking much either. They stopped occasionally so Joss could point out the edible flora, gathering what she needed. She took more than she normally dared, always cognitive about leaving plenty behind for regrowth, but she wanted to make sure both camps had what they needed. They were going to have a heavy load to carry back, with the weight of the fruit and the water they planned to collect. She hoped they would be able to manage and was starting to regret it was just the two of them. Charlie thought it would be a good bonding experience, but as far as she could tell the captain was all business. Aside from answering his questions about the food sources, he offered very little small talk. She hoped that once they took a break, he’d open up a little more.
“Wow, look at this place!” Grant gushed, as the jungle curtain opened up to the waterfall.
“It’s incredible, isn’t it?” she agreed.
The captain had not been there yet. They’d all agreed that he needed more time to recover from his concussion before making the trek. Thankfully, he’d never objected. He was happy to work on the things back at camp, always keeping an eye out for search and rescue. Besides, someone needed to stay behind, to shoot off the flare gun if anything passed close enough.
Joss set her bag down, mindful not to spill any of its contents. It was hot, one of the muggiest days yet, and the perspiration had soaked right through her t-shirt. She was ready for a quick dip to cool off. “Captain, do you mind if I go for a swim?” she asked, kicking off her hiking boots.
“When are you going to start calling me Grant?” he smirked, dropping his own load.
“I...um...I’m not sure,” she stammered, caught off guard by the question.
“We’ve been stranded together for almost a month now. I think it’s time to drop the formalities, isn’t it?” he shrugged, the corners of his mouth turning up into a small smile. Usually reserving his smiles, she couldn’t help but be charmed.
“I guess,” she agreed, “Grant.” It was the first time she had actually spoken his name. It sounded foreign on her lips. He let out a chuckle as if it sounded strange to him too. “In all fairness, you’ve never used my name either.”
“Haven’t I?” he grinned, his brows turned up in surprise.
“Nope,” she challenged playfully, “it’s been girly, sheila, gallah...no idea what that means...missy...oh and my personal favorite, sunshine.”
Grant cocked his head at her and grinned. “Ok, ok, gallah is not so nice, I admit it. Sorry about that, but sunshine’s not so bad,” he teased.
“What exactly is a gallah?”
“I don’t want to tell ya, it might make ya cranky...”
“That bad, huh?” she scoffed, stuffing her socks into her boots. The cool moss felt like heaven under her feet.
“It’s an Aussie term, it just means silly,” he shrugged, unapologetically.
“Ah,” she pouted, digesting the insult. She had never been accused of being silly before. Serious, yes. Fierce, bitchy, sure. But silly? She wasn’t owning that.
“If it helps ya any, I meant it in the nicest way possible,” he smirked.
She wasn’t buying it, but it really didn’t matter. She’d grown accustomed to his dismissive synonyms and had stopped taking them personally. They were more annoying than hurtful and she’d just chalked it up to cultural differences. That, and the fact that he might be a wee bit misogynistic.
“It’s fine,” she assured, waving off the conflict, “it was just an observation.”
“No, no, you’re right. I suppose I’ve been a bit of a prick,” he admitted, combing his fingers through his damp hair.
“I wouldn’t say that,” she shrugged, unable to meet his eyes.
“No, you wouldn’t, but I am. It wasn’t easy at first, being here,” he continued, “I was bloody pissed at myself. I blamed myself for the crash. I still do.”
Joss looked up, surprised by the vulnerability. She knew he was struggling with his guilt, but he was a proud man, that much was obvious.
“It was the storm, Grant. If anything, you saved us. You brought the plane down as skillfully as you could. We could have crashed into that ocean but we didn’t. We all survived. That was on you.”
He shook his head, dismissing her reassuring words. “No, I should’ve known better. I thought I could beat the storm. I was being cocky and I could have killed you all.”
“But you didn’t. We’re here, alive and well. We’re taking care of each other,” she soothed, wondering if she should take his hand. She hesitated for a moment before stepping closer to him, placing a hand on his elbow. She half expected him to brush her off, but he didn’t.
He was quiet for a moment, just looking down at her hand, as though processing the intimacy.
“I’ve been unkind to you, Joss,” he whispered, so quietly she barely heard him. “I’m not good at expressing myself, I’m afraid. I hate being weak.”
On some level, she completely understood. She’d often felt the same way, especially since the day she lost her baby. It changed everything for her.
“I know, Grant. I think you’d be surprised by how intuitive I am,” she offered quietly, matching his tone. “I can see how much this has pulled at you.”
“Believe me, my behavior has nothing to do with you...there are things about me that you don’t know. From my past” he admitted, slowly raising his eyes. She could see how sincere he was, and for the first time since meeting him, felt a genuine connection. “I’ve had some shitty things happen. It’s like a curse that keeps following me, and so many people have been hurt. They were collateral damage, just because they happened to be with me...”
He stopped for a moment, as though immersed in his pain. Joss wanted to hold him, tell him it would be okay, but she was afraid the intimacy would spook him even more. She wondered what could have happened to hurt him so.
“I’ve been the hardest on you. You didn’t deserve it,” he choked, shaking away his grief. He straightened up, as though signaling he was done talking about it.
“I guess I just assumed you didn’t like me. It happens,” she grinned, trying to lighten the mood.
“Nah, you’re a good girl...lady...person,” he stammered, struggling to find the least offensive noun. Joss laughed and squeezed his elbow, letting him off the hook.
“Woman?” she corrected.
“No question about that,” he grinned. “You’re definitely a woman...”
“On that note,” she chuckled, “I’m going for a swim.” She peeled her t-shirt off, quickly followed by her shorts, exposing her bikini underneath. She was grateful they had smoothed things over, yet she couldn’t wrap her brain around his flirting.
The water was cool, instantly refreshing. She swam to the middle of the pool before turning back to him. Grant was still standing where she had left him, hands in his pockets, smiling at her.
“Are you coming in?”
“I’m not much of a swimm
er,” he admitted, shouting so he could be heard over the waterfall.
“Come on, mate! Ball up and git in here,” she teased, offering up the best Aussie accent she could muster.
Grant’s laughter echoed across the water, marrying with her own. It felt good to share a laugh with him and for a moment she’d forgotten how strained things had been between them. Maybe they could be friends, she thought.
“Fine, but if I start drowning, you’ll need to rescue me!”
“I’ll do my best,” she promised, waving him in. He quickly undressed to his boxers and waded into the water, grimacing from the chill. She swam towards him, dunking her head as she neared him. When she surfaced, his eyes were on her, regarding her thoughtfully.
“It’s nice, right?” she encouraged, holding her hand out to him. He reached out for her, allowing her to ease him further.
They swam together for a few more minutes, washing their exertion away, before heading back to shore. Grant pulled his pants on, then turned to help her out of the water. She accepted his hand, carefully picking her way up the rocky embankment.
“We should head back,” he suggested, handing her t-shirt to her.
She took it from him, noting him averting his eyes. Avoiding the awkwardness, she did her best to quickly cover up. His modesty surprised her, making her wonder what motivated it. Was it gallantry, or was he rebuffing her? She shook off her insecurities as fast as they landed, silently chiding herself.
“Let’s just gather the water and get out of here,” she agreed, tying the laces of her boots. “It’s going to be a long walk back with all the weight we’re carrying, and I’d like to stop at one more spot before it gets too late.”
“Joss?”
“Yeah?” She stood up, surprised to find him right in front of her. He was looking at her intimately, like he had something important to share, his eyes thoughtfully searching her own. Then, without warning he pulled them away, as though suddenly dismissing whatever he’d planned to say.
“Nothing. Here,” he said, handing her the empty condoms, “let’s just fill these up these four and get moving, before we lose our light. ”
Joss hesitated for a moment, wondering what was on his mind. He motioned again for her to take them, his eyes begging her to move on.
“Okay,” she nodded, letting him off the hook. They’d made enough progress that day. She didn’t want to do anything to risk him pulling away again.
* * *
“I really think we should go home,” Grant insisted, his eyes watching the sky. The atmosphere had changed quickly, darkening the jungle well before it should have.
“We’re almost there, come on, just a little further. There’s a patch of banana trees and I saw that some were almost ripe the other day. If we grab a bunch it will feed us for several days,” she pressed, already exhausted. The fruit would add to their already heavy load, but it would be worth it to make sure they had enough food for the trip.
“I’m not even sure we can carry much more, Joss, and it’s getting sketchy out here.”
She could see he was losing his patience, but they’d almost reached the location. It didn’t make sense to turn back. They were only an hour from camp, surely they could suck it up just a little longer. She sighed heavily under her breath, and pressed on, in spite of his protesting.
“Jesus, you’re a stubborn woman,” he groaned, shuffling behind her.
She ignored his remark, too tired to react. She was on a mission and complaining wasn’t going to make it any easier. The sky was definitely going to open up, making the rest of the trek home miserable, but she was hoping they could at least beat the worst of it. She heard an ominous grumble, right on cue, as though the weather was definitively taking Grant’s side. She picked up her pace, in spite of the strain on her shoulders, hoping he was keeping up.
“This is it, just around the bend,” she panted, allowing let him catch up.
Grant did not look happy. They were soaking wet, both from the humidity and their exertion, but she was sure the breeze would cool them down before long. They could just grab the bananas and take a quick break before continuing on the last leg of the journey, she surmised. She knew they were taking an unnecessary risk, but the reward was worth it.
“You okay?” she asked, noticing him grimace, as though his anger shifted to pain.
He carefully set his bags down, grunting his displeasure. His answer was short, and he refused to meet her eyes. “I’m fine.”
He was pissed, and beyond tired, but he wasn’t keen on the idea of looking like a chump in front of her. If she could do it, so could he. He welcomed the breeze on his back, but also worried about the quickly dropping temperature. There was a storm coming. She smiled at him but he was no longer in the mood for pleasantries.
Joss just shrugged her shoulders and quickly looked away, unwilling to argue with him. She dropped her own load, stretching out her back, before retrieving her knife out of one of her bags. She tucked it into the back of her shorts, and with a quick nod, gestured him to follow her. He rooted through his own bags and picked up last bottle of their clean water, following her the last thirty feet.
“They’re pretty high up. Do you think you can hoist me up?” she asked, stopping in front of the tree. “I think if you lift me past the first branch, I can shimmy up the rest of the way.” She wasn’t sure how much gas she had left in the tank, but she was damn well going to do her best. Failure was not an option, especially since Grant was already annoyed with her.
He looked up, assessing the climb, shaking his head in disbelief.
“This is a stupid idea, Joss,” he blurted, a little more sharply than he intended. He quickly adjusted his tone, noting the look of irritation on her face. He was annoyed with her, true, but didn’t want them to take a step backwards either. “I mean, it would be challenging to make a climb like that on a good day, but Christ, we’re exhausted.”
“If you can just lift me up, I know I can do it,” she insisted. She took the water from him and swallowed a mouthful before handing it back to him. He took a long swig of his own, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, smirking, as though he still thought she was crazy.
“Hmmm,” he mumbled, offering her the last of the water.
“Look we can stand here and argue about it or just work together and get it done. The faster we get moving the sooner we can get back. There’s definitely rain coming.” She offered, mindful of her tone. She swallowed the last of the water, tossing the bottle to the side.
“Yeah, I know. That’s what I’m worried about. We should’ve just kept moving,” he scolded, more out of concern than anger. She rolled her eyes anyway, clearly taking his words the wrong way. He didn’t blame her, his patience was running thin too.
“Well, we’re here now. Let’s not squabble about it,” she shrugged, carefully censoring herself.
Grant chuckled softly, smart enough to know that she was far too head strong to take no for an answer. He bent down and cupped his hands for her to step into. She nodded at him curtly, allowing him to lift her. As soon as she was high enough, she held the trunk firmly so he could shift his body closer to the tree. She used his shoulders to hoist herself higher, then leveraged herself before shimmying up, leaving him to watch her ascend from below. In spite of his irritation, he was impressed with her skills. Climbing without gear wasn’t an easy thing to do, and those wild banana trees grew pretty tall. She was at least 15 feet off the ground.
“I’m going to cut this bunch down, make sure they don’t hit you,” she called out, taking the knife out of the back of her shorts. She held the sheath in her mouth to ease the blade out, then started whacking at the thick stem.
Grant moved to the side, holding his breath as she rocked dangerously on a limb, right above him. She made quick work of it and seconds later the bananas landed on the ground beside him.
“I’ll be damned, she did it,” he whispered under his breath.
Seconds later Joss dropped to
the jungle floor with a deafening thud. He quickly dropped to his knees, terrified he would find her breathless. He anxiously pushed the knife out of his way. The damn thing had landed right beside her head. An inch to the left and it might have killed her.
“Fuck Joss, what did you do?” he stammered, his heart pounding inside his chest. He crawled around to her side, listening for breath sounds, too afraid to move her. She was unconscious but breathing, barely, as though the wind had been knocked out of her. He ran his hands over her head and neck carefully, checking for blood or fractures, continuing the process down her body. She didn’t appear to have broken anything, but he couldn’t be sure and he knew enough not to move her. He sat on his knees, too shocked to even blink, trying to process the situation. He was dangerously close to losing it, but knew he needed to keep his shit together. He took a long, deep breath, before slipping off his shirt to cover her. This was always the worst case scenario, one of them getting injured, and it happened to Joss. On his watch.
“Joss, I’m here,” he choked, wiping the mud away from her face and hair. “You’re okay, silly girl. It will be okay...” His tender words, meant to soothe her, offered nothing to convince himself. He was scared to death.
He sat with her for a few more minutes, unsure what to do, listening to her shallow breaths. He was certain they were getting stronger, and hoped to god it wasn’t just wishful thinking. The wind was picking up, chilling him, but the adrenalin coursing through his veins made it barely noticeable. He knew it would be dark within an hour or two, sooner if the rain started. Even if she did come to, she would be in no condition to walk, and he couldn’t leave her alone to get help. He needed to make a shelter for them, and quick!
He rose to his feet, picking up her knife, then searched for its sheath. It was several feet away, hidden under some ground fall. He was lucky he found it. He slid the blade inside before tucking it into his waistband, returning to where they had left their supplies. He carried everything back to the banana tree, as quickly as he could, before checking on Joss again. She was moaning softly under her breath, but still had not regained consciousness.
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