J.R. Rain's Vampire for Hire World_Wolf Moon

by Eve Paludan

  The cop car went by us in the HOV, siren still on. I howled because it hurt my ears. And because wolves howl at sirens just like dogs do.

  “Don’t do that shit in my car,” Fang said.

  “Sorry,” I apologized. “Reflex action.”

  “My reflex action will be to tear out your throat if you ever howl in my car again.”

  “Point taken,” I replied.

  When we got to the border of Fullerton and Placentia, I directed Fang to Mary Lou’s house. We both went to the door and knocked at the same time. Mary Lou looked through the peephole first and then opened the door. She looked tousled and wore a Mickey Mouse T-shirt over pink panties, no bra. No robe. No shyness about it, either. What a MILF she was.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked sleepily.

  “We came to pick up Jolie Hart,” Fang said while I was pulling my tongue back in my mouth.

  Mary Lou showed us in. “She’s asleep. She had a great time giving guitar lessons to the kids and they petered out early. They’re having a slumber party on the floor in my oldest daughter’s room.”

  “Oh, my God,” I said. “Did she sing to them?”

  “No, she said she had to save her voice for the recording studio tomorrow. Why do you ask?”

  “Whew.” Fang actually smacked his hand over his chest where his heart was not beating. “She didn’t sing to them, Kingsley. That’s good.”

  “Aaron Parker. The bartender?” Mary Lou finally recognized him.

  “Yeah. That’s me.”

  “I didn’t know you two guys knew each other.”

  “Sure you do,” I said. “Fang and I rescued you with Sam from the vampires who killed Danny.”

  Tears sprang to Mary Lou’s eyes. Okay, maybe that wasn’t the most tactful thing I could have said right then.

  “Do you know nothing, werewolf?” Fang said. “I’m gonna put you through some paces in my school of how to talk to women and not make them cry or hate you.”

  I patted Mary Lou on the shoulder to comfort her and almost knocked her over.

  Fang gave me another dirty look. “Easy there. She’s mortal.”

  “Sorry,” I whispered. “I don’t want to wake the kids or your husband.”

  “My husband sleeps like the dead. The kids are wiped out from eating pizza.” She paused. “Aaron Parker the bartender is Fang?”

  “Has Sam given you a compulsion to forget that Aaron Parker and Fang are the same guy?” I asked.

  “That was me, genius,” Fang said under his breath. “I compelled her. Now, you’ve blown that.”

  “Leave my brain alone, you cute weirdo,” Mary Lou said.

  Fang cleared his throat and gave her the slightest nod. “Can we just have Jolie Hart back and we’ll be out of your hair?”

  Mary Lou nodded grumpily. She opened the door to her daughter’s room. The kids were asleep in sleeping bags, but Jolie was awake, her blue eyes glowing in the darkness as she held an electric guitar in her arms like a lover.

  “You didn’t tell me she was a freaking vampire, Kingsley!” Mary Lou whispered and ran to see if her kids were okay.

  She roused and kissed each one of them, and apparently, they were just fine.

  Mary Lou glared at us. “Out. All of you, out. Now.”

  “Mom!” said the oldest daughter. “Why are you kicking out Miss Jolie? She didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “This is my wakeup call, kids. I have an early gig at the recording studio this morning,” Jolie said, smoothing things over.

  The kids hugged her goodbye while Mary Lou looked relieved, but she still gave me the finger behind her kids’ backs. Both sisters were really mad at me now.

  Fang turned the custom Batmobile back to its familiar sleek black form for the drive back.

  Mary Lou quickly took a parting snapshot with her iPhone, probably to send to Sam’s phone, of Jolie Hart sitting on my lap facing me in a miniskirt that rode up to there. She was wearing a thong. There was just no escaping that photo. I wondered how much of Jolie would show up in that photo. I prayed that she would be invisible, although I suppose the empty clothes would be in the photo. Damn it. I could not win for losing.

  Fang stuffed her guitar case and overnight bag in the spaces behind the bucket seats.

  There was going to be no explaining this photo to Samantha Moon.

  Chapter 11

  “Pull over and let me drive,” I said.

  “No,” Fang replied, a smile tugging the corners of his mouth as he glanced at my growing… predicament.

  “Come on, let a brother drive your Batmobile,” I begged. I really just wanted the squirming Jolie Hart off my lap. I was getting excited, and I didn’t want to be excited. I loved Samantha, but my chances of ever getting with her again were diminishing with each moment Jolie spent moving around, trying to get comfortable in my lap.

  Finally, I gave in. “Have mercy and let me drive. Something could explode in your precious car.”

  “Fine,” Fang said, taking pity on me or maybe on his upholstery. He pulled over into the McDonald’s on Malvern with a screech of tires. When he opened the gullwing doors to swap places, I got in the driver’s seat and put on my seatbelt.

  Jolie Hart happily got in Fang’s lap, facing him, her chest in his face. He took a deep sniff.

  “I love the smell of a lady vampire’s…” Thankfully, he whispered the next part in Jolie’s ear. It was likely very dirty because she giggled for about thirty seconds. Of course, with my acute werewolf hearing, so I had to spend most of that time saying, “la-la-la-la” over and over so I wouldn’t hear the things that Fang was saying in her ear.

  When she stopped that evil giggling, I stopped what I was saying, too.

  Jolie whined a bit. “But you have a girlfriend, Fang.”

  “Flavor of the week, babe,” Fang said. “Flavor of the week.”

  “That’s not very nice,” Jolie said and a pout appeared on her pert mouth.

  “It’s true. Now you, though. You would be like a flavor of the year.”

  “Really?” she said. “Flavor of the year?”

  “Sure. You’re worth it.”

  What a player, that Fang.

  I shook my head and pressed the button to close the gullwing doors, as I’d seen Fang do. We went through the drive-thru and I got a large coffee for me and a bottled water for each of the vampires. The gal at the McDonald’s drive-thru wanted our photo, so we all smiled and said cheese. I had no idea if the vampires would show up.

  What the heck. In for a penny, in for a pound, right?

  Chapter 12

  Sam texted me that Morrie was going to be at the blood club at sunup and that Jolie was supposed to meet him there before the recording gig. I risked a ticket and texted her back that Fang and I would be bringing Jolie to the blood club in about two hours. She didn’t text back and neither did I. The exchanges between us had become purely professional.

  I listened to the naughty noises next to me but didn’t look. I kept my eyes on the road. After all, I was driving an apparently fully functional Batmobile replica, and I didn’t want to wreck Fang’s car. Or burn the image of the two of them canoodling into my brain.

  It was a long time before the smooching vampires next to me noticed that we were not headed for my house in Yorba Linda, Fang’s house in Malibu, his blood club in Echo Park, or a recording studio, wherever that was.

  When I finally heard a long, shuddering sigh from Jolie, I realized the extent of what they had been doing right next to me. I felt sick about him taking advantage of the vulnerable, recently assaulted Jolie until I heard her say softly, “That was very healing, Fang. You’re so sweet to take care of me.”

  “You’re my baby,” he said and kissed her softly, then sort of adjusted himself.

  When I heard a zipper go up, I almost rolled my eyes out of my head.

  She cried a little bit in that way that some women do… after… and then seemed to fall asleep on his chest. He cuddled her and then looked
at me.

  “Have you no sense of shame or decency?” I whispered.

  “Neither. And you don’t have to whisper. I put her out so she can rest. She’s been through so much.”

  “I thought you loved… you know who.” I didn’t want to say Sam’s name since she was going to be doing surveillance at the blood club in Echo Park.

  “There are more kinds of love than I can explain to you, werewolf.”

  “Oh, you’re going there, are you, vampire?” I said sarcastically.

  “Yes, but where are you going? It’s going to be daylight in a couple of hours.”

  “You’ll see our destination soon,” I said.

  “It looks like you’re headed for Griffith Park and the Los Angeles River.”

  “Oh, now you’re paying attention.”

  Fang asked, “Why are you going there?”

  “To pick up Danny.”

  “Danny’s dead.” Fang looked aghast. “And there’s no room in the car for his bones and rotting flesh.”

  “I know that. And don’t tempt me. You have no idea what an appetite I have for corpses.”

  Fang curled a lip in disgust. “You need therapy, man.”

  “Hey, at least I don’t make myself a parasite on the living.”

  Fang ignored my burn. “Bro, you’re not seriously thinking of enticing Danny’s spirit into my car.”

  “I am.”

  “Didn’t he go into the light?” Fang asked.

  “Sam once told me that where a murder happens, the energy particles from that stay there forever. So, even if Danny went into the light...” I trailed off and looked over at Jolie.

  “Don’t worry about talking in front of her. I told you I put her out. She’s in an induced coma.”

  “How did you do it?” I asked.

  “I’m not gonna tell you all of my vampire secrets.”

  “Fine. Here’s what I’m thinking. We go to the cave. I move the boulder and talk to Danny’s energy or spirit, whatever it is. I’ll try to get him to come with us. You drop me off at my home with Danny’s ghost and deliver Sleeping Beauty here to your consensual blood club for her morning feed and her early recording studio appointment with Morrie-Satan, whoever he is. Sam knows they are coming this morning, and she’s going to be there, too.”

  “How do you know that?” Fang asked.

  “We texted back and forth while you and the rock star wannabe were, um, smooching.”

  Fang laughed wickedly. “Oh, yeah, but please continue.”

  “After she feeds, Jolie and Morrie are going to the recording studio to record the song she has prepared. That will likely take all day.”

  “Until after sunset?” Fang guessed.

  “Exactly. So we make sure that we grab Jolie before—”

  “Before they can grab Sam and keep her prisoner until they are ready to kill her and force her entity into Jolie.”

  I pulled over with a screech. “I forgot to tell Sam that part.”

  “What part?” Fang asked.

  “The part where Morrie plans to kill Sam, steal her entity and put it in Jolie.”

  We both started madly texting and calling Sam. Thank goodness, I was pulled over when Sam appeared on the hood via astral projection.

  “You rang, boys?” Her pretty face looked at us calmly through the windshield. She raised one eyebrow.

  Both Fang and I screamed when she appeared out of nowhere.

  We both started shouting what Morrie planned and she nodded that she understood.

  “Kingsley, go home. Take a nap and set your alarm for sunset. Fang, take Jolie to the blood club in Echo Park. Wake her ass up out of that vampire coma so she can feed and then make it on time to her appointment at the recording studio with Morrie. I will go get Danny’s spirit, and I will bring him with me.”

  Neither Fang nor I liked that plan. Immediately, we were both shouting at Sam that Morrie would try to kidnap her and keep her prisoner until such time as he would kill Sam and put her entity in Jolie.

  “Gentlemen, a record production does not happen overnight, and he isn’t going to try to kill me before that takes place. So, calm down. And no one can steal my entity. She loves me. She would not go quietly.”

  We both looked at her, agog.

  “Let’s just say, if the perps tried to rip my entity from me, it would be the last thing they ever saw. If you think I’m deadly, she’s even more so, if unleashed.”

  “Sheesh,” I said. I was glad I didn’t have an entity in me. Having a stinky, corpse-loving werewolf alter-ego named Maltheus was enough to contend with.

  Sam wasn’t through giving orders. “After I leave, Fang, wake up Jolie, and ask her what her plans are for after the recording studio.”

  He nodded.

  “By the way, Fang, you have no manners. Really? You two did it in front of Kingsley?” She flipped him off and astral-projected back home.

  I laughed at Fang.

  “Shut up,” he said. “Sam isn’t my girlfriend. I’m allowed this.”

  “Apparently, your girlfriend isn’t your girlfriend either.”

  “Jolie is super special. She’s more than a girlfriend. She’s… magical.”

  “I agree,” I said. “Let’s not let anything else bad happen to her.”

  “When I was ‘comforting’ her, I could see your glowing werewolf’s talisman on her forehead. You claimed her, Kingsley. Or tried to.” Fang’s accusation was obvious.

  “I didn’t claim her. Clearly, you know nothing about werewolves.”

  “Then enlighten me.”

  “I felt sorry for her. I was trying to protect her from further harm, that’s all.” No one around me seemed to believe that I was capable of doing something out of the goodness of my heart.

  Fang laughed at that. “I have news for you, Kingsley. Your werewolf talisman can’t protect her against Morrie. Even if he isn’t the Devil, he thinks he is, which makes him very dangerous. It means he’s calling on very dark powers to pull strings for him.”

  “Eww,” I said. “This gets creepier and creepier.”

  “Very much so. He thinks he’s king of the vampires, and he’s possibly more powerful than you and me put together.”

  “But we’ll have me, you, Sam, and maybe Danny to fight him.”

  “I don’t know if that will be enough of the good guys,” Fang said. “Now, shut it, and drive toward your house so we can drop you off.”

  I changed to another highway while Fang gently woke Jolie from her coma to find out her plans after the recording studio. He talked to her in a tender tone I’d never heard from his lips.

  “Babe, after your recording session, I want to take you out to dinner to celebrate.”

  “I can’t, Fang,” she said sleepily. She smiled at him. “Tonight, Morrie and I are taking a charter train from L.A. to Las Vegas. I have a gig.”

  “You do? Where?”

  She smiled. “I’m so excited. They added a late-late show slot so I can sing my new song at Caesars Palace.”

  Fang smiled a terrible smile at her, one that was full of pissed-off-ness that she was leaving town without him. “That’s great, Jolie. I’m so proud of you.”

  “Thanks,” she said and somehow, he put her out again.

  I was shocked. “Hey, stop doing that to her. It’s mean.”

  “She cannot know of Sam’s existence,” Fang said. “Not until later. I don’t want Jolie to know that Sam holds the entity that Morrie wants to put in her.”

  “Oh, right.” Suddenly, I realized that I’d hidden Jolie at Sam’s sister’s house but not told Sam about it. I wondered if the kids had told her about Sam or shown her old pictures of Sam. I hoped not.

  Fang looked over at me. “You’re huffing and puffing like you’re going to blow a house down. What gives?”

  “Enough with the wolf jokes, Fang. I feel like a dumbass.”

  “Obviously, because you are one. But why now?” Fang asked.

  After I told him, Fang quickly ca
lled Sam. Of course, he put it on speaker so I could share the blame. “There’s something else you need to know. Jolie was at your sister’s house last night, giving her kids guitar lessons and spending the night.”

  “Oh, dear Lord. Whose bright idea was that?” she asked in a longsuffering voice.

  “It was mine,” I chimed in.

  “Kingsley. I might have known.” There was a pause. Then Sam said, “This doesn’t have to be a disaster. I have a gorgeous wig, from many Halloweens ago. It’s blond, long, and curly. She won’t recognize me, even if she has seen photos of me. And I have some old contact lenses. Violet. Really pretty.”

  “Brilliant,” I said.

  “One of us has to be,” Sam said, and hung up.

  I pulled over. “Fang, I want to switch with you. I have to call Sam back.”

  “I’m comfortable right where I am,” Fang said and cuddled Jolie to his chest. “Call Sam and make it snappy.”

  “You’d rather hold Jolie in your lap than drive the Batmobile?”

  “Are you complaining about me letting you drive my kick-ass car?”

  “No, but I think you’re falling in love.”

  “Bite your tongue, werewolf. Fang does not fall in love. He’s a predator who once sucked a beloved girlfriend dry of her blood.”

  “Seriously?” I asked, appalled.

  “Seriously. And I was mortal when I did it.”

  “Damn,” I said. “What’s wrong with you, man?”

  Fang shrugged like it was nothing. “I was once a vampire wannabe.”

  “I guess so. And now that you’re a real vampire, is it everything you hoped?” I asked.

  “Yes and no,” Fang said, holding the inert Jolie possessively.

  “Are you going to kill Jolie?” I dared to ask.

  “Don’t be an ass. Of course not. She’s already undead.”

  “But you could kill her?”

  “Easily.” He ran a hand through her tangled blonde hair. “I wouldn’t harm a hair on her head, though. She didn’t get to this place in her life easily.”