Always You: A Lilac Bay Novel (Friends with Benefits)

by Rachel Schurig

  She grinned. “Seriously. If you ever want to talk about job opportunities, give me a call. I’d be happy to give you a reference.”

  “Wow.” I couldn’t seem to close my mouth properly. Did she have any idea how long I had dreamed of working in television? I couldn’t believe I was hearing this.

  “Well, you certainly make my job easier,” she said, laughing. “So thank you for that.”

  “Thank you,” I managed to get out. I shook myself, determined not to ruin her impression of me by acting like a bumbling idiot now. “Hey, you don’t have any food! You should eat. David is an amazing chef.”

  “I will.” She squeezed my arm and then disappeared off into the crowd, leaving me to shake my head in disbelief.

  She thought I could work in TV. An actual TV producer thought I could work in her field. I had to tell Andrew.

  As if my thoughts summoned him, I heard Andrew come up behind me.

  “Looks like you have a hit on your hands,” he said.

  I turned to him, ready to tell him about the conversation with Gina, but found the words stuck in my throat.

  Sometime in the last half hour, Andrew must have gone home to change. He was wearing a dark suit, the crisp white of his dress shirt contrasting with the tan skin of his neck. He had already loosened the tie and the top collar, but that only made it look better.

  I could count on one hand the number of times I had seen Andrew Powell in a suit. His grandfather’s funeral. His cousin Greg’s wedding. Our senior prom. But I didn’t think I had ever seen him look quite so handsome.

  “Wow, Andrew,” I blurted out. “You clean up nice.”

  Something unknown flashed in his eyes, and he did that smirky grin thing—but somehow, I didn’t feel the need to tease him. Let his ego take the compliment. He looked fantastic.

  “You don’t look so bad yourself,” he said. “Can’t remember the last time I saw you in a dress.”

  I looked down at the gauzy black fabric, shrugging a little. By some stroke of luck, I’d had the perfect dress in my closet—me, the girl who never wore dresses. Rebecca had talked me into buying it a few years ago in one of her many attempts to get me to live a little. It was a straight black shift dress with a pattern of tiny beads all across the gauzy fabric. With my mandatory feathered headband, I could almost pass for a twenties girl myself. But now, looking down at the dress, I felt stupid, unable to come up with an answer. Since when did I have trouble finding a comeback for Andrew?

  “Hey,” he said, his voice a little lower than normal, and I somehow felt physically compelled to look up at him. He wasn’t smiling, and his eyes were doing that flashing thing again. I swallowed. “Dance with me.”

  That broke the strange spell that had fallen over me. “Dance?”

  He rolled his eyes. “We’re at a dance, Riley. It’s what people do.”

  “It’s not what we do,” I shot back. “Do you even know how to dance?”

  His eyebrow arched. “Is that a challenge?”

  “No, it’s—”

  But before I could tell him what it was, he was grabbing my hand and pulling me over to the dance floor. Ella Fitzgerald was softly crooning from the speakers, and Andrew was pulling me up against him, one hand holding mine, the other on my lower back.

  “There,” he said. “That’s not so bad, is it?”

  I shook my head, my throat too dry to talk. What in the hell was wrong with me?

  He held me like that for a long moment as we swayed slightly on the dance floor. It seemed to stretch on and on forever, us not talking, just standing there, way too close together. Close enough that I could smell his Old Spice, that I could see the individual stubble of his red beard, could feel the heat radiating off his body.

  Oh, God, it was awful. I couldn’t be this uncomfortable around Andrew.

  “Hey,” he said, shaking the hand he held in his. “Loosen up, Riley.”

  “I don’t like dancing.”

  “Well it would be rude to ditch me now, so you’re going to have to deal with it.” Was he laughing at me? I glared up at him and saw that his eyes were dancing, too, that the smirk back on his face.

  “Shut up, Andrew.”

  “Ah, there she is,” he said. “I was wondering where you went.”

  “You’re the worst.”

  “I know, I know. But at least you don’t feel like a statue anymore.”

  I did feel a little better now that he was giving me a hard time. It was more…normal.

  “Fine. Thank you very much for your service.”

  “My pleasure. So. Are you happy with how it turned out?”

  “I am! Oh, I was going to tell you what Gina said.” I filled him in on our conversation and he listened attentively, smiling down at me.

  “That’s great, Riley!”

  “I know, right? She said she saw on my resume that I had taken a lot of broadcasting classes and she could tell I would have been good at it.”

  “Well?” he asked.

  “Well what?”

  “Are you going to take her up on it? Are you going to ask for a reference?”

  “Oh.” My heart sank a little, though I wasn’t exactly sure why. Maybe it was just more fun to dream about it than to actually think about it in practical terms. “I don’t know.”

  “You should! It’s what you always wanted to do.”

  “Yeah, but things changed.”

  “Riley.” I looked up into his familiar blue eyes, intent on mine. For some reason, my heart started that strong thudding again. “Things could change again, you know.”

  Something about the tone of his voice, about the way he was looking at me, made me think that he was talking about more than just the job opportunity.

  I didn’t know why, but his words had me feeling a little nauseous. I pulled my hands away, feeling like a coward when his face fell.

  “I’m hungry,” I said quickly. “You wanna grab a plate before it’s all gone?”

  His eyes searched my face for a long moment, and I found that I was hardly breathing. But whatever it was he was looking for, he must not have found it, because his face relaxed and he smiled. “Sure. Let’s go eat.”

  Chapter 13

  The party stretched on well into the night, long after Gina and the camera crew left. Jenny opened up the hotel bar’s stock of good liquor and those of us that were left put it to good use. David and his team had made way too much food, and the DJ, my old fling Mike, seemed more than happy to keep playing as long as the dance floor was being used, relishing the fact that his services were being put to use. It was probably tough to be a DJ on Lilac Bay. There were only so many sweet-sixteens and fiftieth anniversary parties the guy could play at.

  I sat out on the lawn with some of the Libbies, looking at the stars and listening to the music float up over the grounds.

  “I should probably clean up,” I said a few times, less than enthusiastically, but every time I mentioned it Libby or Cora told me to leave it until morning. “We’ll get the Girl Scout troop to come help,” Libby suggested, which inexplicably made Posey start to giggle uncontrollably, saying something about child labor.

  “Your cousin is drunk,” I told Iris.

  She grinned at me happily. “I think I’m a little drunk too.”

  “I can’t believe you’re just sitting here,” Jill complained. “Your boyfriend is over there talking to—” She squinted over at where David stood, as if trying to tell who he was talking to. Finally, she shrugged. “Your boyfriend is just over there. In a suit. And there’s music playing. Why are you sitting with us?”

  “Because I like your company,” Iris said loyally.

  “If I was with a guy that looked like David,” Posey said, hiccupping, “I wouldn’t give a fig newton about your company.” Her eyes widened. “Don’t tell Paul I said that.”

  “He’d have to be around for us to tell him anything,” Iris muttered in my ear.

  “What about you, Riley?” Jill said. “I thought y
ou were dating that Chase guy.”

  “We went on a date. As in one.”

  “Yeah, but he likes you. I saw the way he jumped in with help for the dancing today.”

  “He’s yummy,” Libby said. She was sitting on a bench, her dress pulled up around her knees, her feet bare. “Speaking of yummy, I need more food.” But she didn’t move to get it, closing her eyes again.

  “He is pretty yummy,” I agreed. Across the lawn, I saw Andrew sitting under a tree next to Angie, the fitness instructor from the Big Hotel that had helped us with the dancing earlier. She was practically on his lap. Did he have to be so obvious about it? He was in public, for God’s sake.

  “Earth to Riley,” Jill said.

  “What?” I tore my eyes away to focus on her—a task that was definitely a lot harder with the amount of alcohol in my system.

  “I said, why aren’t you dancing with him?” Jill asked. “If you think he’s so yummy. He’s just standing over there by himself. And don’t give me that crap about our company.”

  “You’re right, Jill,” I said, slipping my shoes back on. “I don’t give a shit about your company. I’m going to ask him to dance.”

  She gave me a high five as she passed. “Good girl.”

  I stumbled a little bit on the grass as I made my way over to Chase. Probably shouldn’t be drinking anymore tonight, I told myself. He smiled as I approached, and I wasn’t sure if the force of that helped or hurt my sobriety.

  “Hey,” I said, coming to a stop a few feet away. “What are you doing?”

  “Enjoying the night,” he said, gesturing around. “You put on a good show today.”

  “You did,” I corrected. “You’re the one that was dancing. I didn’t dance.”

  He was laughing softly. “Riley, are you drunk?”

  I nodded. “I’m maybe a little tipsy.”

  “Do you want to dance with me?”

  “Yes, please.”

  He led me out onto the dance floor, and I was pleased to find that I didn’t feel half as uncomfortable in his arms as I had felt with Andrew. Take that, Powell, I thought, then frowned. Why was I angry with Andrew? He hadn't done anything to me.

  “So,” Chase said, drawing my attention back to him. “How do you feel about the day? I think it went really well.”

  “The producer liked it,” I said. I considered telling him what Gina had told me about work, but changed my mind at the last second. I didn’t know him well enough to be confiding something like that. It felt too personal—the thing that I had dreamt of doing since I was a kid.

  “Did you have fun?” I asked instead.

  “I did. I’ve never been in a flash mob before.”

  “Well, you can cross that one off your bucket list.” He laughed, the sound low and velvety. Definitely yummy.

  “What about you?” he asked. “Did you have fun?”

  “I did eventually,” I said. “It was pretty stressful at first.”

  “Well, you handled it really well. I was surprised not to see you dance.”

  I snorted. “I don’t dance.”

  “You’re dancing right now.”

  I looked up into his dark eyes, so different from Andrew’s blue ones. “You’re right.”

  It wasn’t just his eyes that were different from Andrew. He felt different, too. Andrew was a little shorter than Chase, but a lot broader across the chest. And his hair was different, of course, Andrew had that distinct auburn hair that I had been jealous of since we were little kids. I had a sudden memory of him letting me cut his hair when we were eight. I had wanted to play beauty salon, and Andrew let me, and then we both got into so much trouble, and—

  “What’s so funny?” Chase asked, and I realized, belatedly, that I was giggling under my breath.

  “Nothing,” I said quickly, feeling stupid. Why was I thinking about childhood antics when I had a guy this cute in my arms?

  “I had fun on our date the other night,” he was saying, and I forced myself to pay attention. Chase had taken me to the mainland for Italian food and a movie. It was a nice date. He was interesting, and clearly interested in me, and he’d held my hand in the movie theater. Plus he'd bought me popcorn, and you really can’t beat that.

  “I had fun too,” I told him.

  “We should do it again,” he said. “Maybe this week? There’s a really good restaurant here on the island, I’m sure you know it—Rose’s? Have you eaten there?”

  The thought of going to Rose’s with Chase made me feel strangely uncomfortable. Probably because he’s not from the island, I told myself, trying to quell the nausea that was growing in my stomach. And Andrew’s grandmother was so much about loyalty and being true to this community.

  So why are you even with him? A voice in the back of my head wondered. He’s not a part of this community. Can you seriously date someone that you wouldn’t feel comfortable introducing to Rose Powell?

  “What’s wrong?” Chase asked, pulling back to look down at me. “Riley, are you okay?”

  “You know, I don’t feel great,” I said, putting a hand to his chest to steady myself. “Probably overdid it on the wine.”

  “Why don’t you sit,” he said, looking concerned. “I’ll go get you some water.”

  I nodded in agreement, more to get rid of him than anything else. I didn’t know what my problem was tonight. Why was I getting so damn out of sorts about a restaurant? And why was I thinking that I should make my relationship decisions based on Andrew’s grandmother? That was just ridiculous and—

  A flash of blond across the lawn caught my attention. It looked an awful lot like Rebecca, but I knew that she was currently sitting under the maple tree with Jake and the kids, eating cookies, because I had just seen them, and—

  Oh my God.

  The blond woman turned, and I saw that it wasn’t Rebecca. It was my mother.

  And she was stumbling towards the tent. Shit.

  I jumped up, visions of her crashing into a food table flashing through my mind, and took off across the grass. I don’t know how I got to her so quickly, feeling pretty damn tipsy myself, but I managed to reach her side before she got to the table and did any damage.

  “Mom,” I said carefully. It was so hard to judge her moods in times like this. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

  She peered up at me, her red eyes narrowing. She smelled like stale beer and whiskey and I knew, just like that, that this was going to be a disaster.

  “Because you didn’t invite me, did you?” she slurred. “Why would I come when my own kid doesn’t invite me?”

  “The entire town was invited, Mom, you know that.” I needed to keep her calm, try to get her out of the tent. I had no idea how I was going to get her all the way back to the other side of the island in this state. I’d have to bring her to my apartment. But first I had to get her out of here.

  She lurched away, pulling her arm out of my grasp. “Am I allowed to eat?” she asked, her tone nasty and cold.

  Why, why did she have to do this tonight, when everything was going so well?

  “Mom, why don’t you sit and let me get you a plate,” I said.

  She snorted. “Like you’d do anything for me. You wouldn’t help me if I was drowning in front of you.”

  “Mom, come on. Let’s just sit. You don’t feel well.”

  “You don’t know how I feel!” she yelled, and several heads turned in our direction. Let one of them be Andrew, I prayed. Let him come help me, please.

  “You don’t know anything about anything but yourself, because you’re selfish, Riley.” Her face was right up in mine now, her eyes angry and disgusted and so bloodshot they must have been horribly painful. “What did I do to get such a selfish daughter?”

  I wanted to drop her arm, wanted to leave her there to do whatever the hell damage she felt like. Why did she have to be my problem? She clearly couldn’t stand me.

  “You want to leave, don’t you?” she asked, her voice cruel and knowing. “I can
see it in your damn eyes. You’ve wanted to leave me since the day he died. So go, Riley. I don’t need you. I don’t want you!”

  She pulled her arm back to slap me, and I watched it, feeling too shocked to move.

  In all the shit she’d pulled over the years, she’d never once hit me.

  But then someone was there, grabbing her hand before it could make contact, someone tall and strong and for a moment I was so relieved I thought I really might burst into tears.

  “Okay, Beth, everything’s fine.” It was Jake.

  And I did cry then, a rush of anger swelling through me even as tears trickled down my cheek. Anger at myself for not being able to handle her on my own, anger at my mother for doing this tonight. Anger that Jake had been forced to leave Rebecca and the boys to come and deal with this when they’d all been having such a nice night. Why did she have to ruin everything?

  “I’ve got you,” Jake was saying. “Let’s just come over here, sit down.”

  “We should take her to my apartment,” I said, wiping at my eyes. “She shouldn’t be here.”

  “Riley doesn’t want me here,” she told Jake. “Riley wishes I would die.”

  “Mother!” I cried. “Don’t say that!”

  “Did you wish he would die, too? Selfish, selfish—!” Then she was crying against Jake’s shirt, and he looked at me over her head.

  “I have her, Riley. Go on, sweetie. I’ll get her home.”

  “How? It’s miles in the dark and—”

  “I have the cruiser here.”

  Oh. The police cruiser. One of the few vehicles allowed on the island.

  “Let me at least help you get her in the car.”

  Together we managed to pull my still-sobbing mother down the long hotel driveway to the cop car parked on the road. Jake pulled open the back door and I helped him to get her inside, leaning over to pull her legs up into the car. In that position my face was very close to hers, close enough to see the individual tear tracks on her checks.

  She looked up at me with northing short of revulsion in her eyes.

  “I wish God took you instead of him.”

  I stumbled back from the car, gasping.

  Out of nowhere, arms came around my middle. Strong and steady and definitely Andrew. He pulled me back against his chest, saying something to Jake.